When Your Child Is Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL
• HOW TO ACCEPT YOUR GAY CHILD
• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• RPONDG TO ADULT CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
• RPONDG LOVE TO AN ADULT GAY CHILD
• HOW CAN I LEARN TO ACCEPT MY GAY SON
• WHAT TO DO IF YOU SPECT YOUR KID IS GAY OR TRANSGENR
• HELP! MY SON IS GAY

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL

But if your child out as gay, lbian, or bisexual, might e as a shock—many parents feel unprepared, upset, or even a ltle nfed.

Bisexual people often hear that their sexualy is “jt a phase, ” and that they’ll eventually be eher straight or gay. Try lookg at s like Advot for Youth, The Fay Acceptance Project, and Parents, Fai, Friends, and Alli of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG). At what age would a child know for sure she's homosexual?

If your child says she's homosexual, regardls of her age, be acceptg and show love and support. Article SummaryXTo accept that your child is homosexual or bisexual, the first and most important thg is to make sure your child knows that you love them. For more rmatn on how to talk your child after learng they are homosexual or bisexual, see below.

HOW TO ACCEPT YOUR GAY CHILD

You n, however, learn to accept your child's homosexualy and, as a rult, you may have a stronger relatnship wh them. Even if you don't know how to handle the news that your child is gay, 's important to regnize that was difficult for your child to tell you this. While you may be stgglg wh learng that your child is gay, keep md that is really an opportuny to velop a closer, stronger relatnship wh your child.

Your child is probably worried about beg rejected by you for beg gay, so is important to make sure that your child knows that you love them no matter what.

Don’t say that you “spected” that your child was gay.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

Inditg or statg outright that you already knew your child was gay may be extremely upsettg to them. Even if this is the se, do not tell your child that you spected them of beg gay.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

Some people have strong relig beliefs that nmn homosexualy. It is normal to experience a wi range of feelgs when you first learn that your child is gay.

Start a journal and e to keep a daily rerd of how you are feelg about your child’s news that they are gay. Steer clear of people who are openly biased about gay people or who have relig beliefs that might e them to nmn your child for beg gay. Tell your iend how you found out that your child is gay, how you reacted, how you are feelg now, and how you are tryg to learn how to accept your child.

RPONDG TO ADULT CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY

LGBT stands for Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgenr.

Sce many people have misnceptns about what means to be gay, is helpful to learn as much as you n to ensure that you have an accurate unrstandg of your child’s sexualy. Spendg qualy time wh your child is important, but might be even more important after you learn that your child is gay.

You might also nsir askg a tstworthy adult iend or fay member who is gay if they would be willg to meet wh your child and act as a role mol. Havg support om an adult who is also gay may be helpful for your child and helpful for you as well.

RPONDG LOVE TO AN ADULT GAY CHILD

4Talk to other parents of gay children for support. It is also helpful to lk up wh other parents of gay children as you work towards acceptg your child for beg gay.

Never send your child to an ex-gay or nversn therapy group. If your child out to you as LGBTQ (lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or queer), that may or may not be somethg you imaged or feel prepared for—but your acceptance really matters to their health and safety.

Her rearch shows how fai n learn to support the children—even if they believe that beg gay or transgenr is wrong.

HOW CAN I LEARN TO ACCEPT MY GAY SON

Askg them about their experience and how you n help them feel supportedlisteng whout terptg or argugtellg them you love them and exprs affectnlearng together about issu LGBTQ youth face by jog an LGBTQ fay support anizatn, such as PFLAG, Genr Spectm, Genr Odyssey, or Strong Fay Allianctandg up for your child when they are mistreated, even by other fay membershelpg your child fd an LGBTQ role mol for your child among iends and fay members or through PFLAG or other support groupstalkg to your relig lears about helpg your place of worship bee more supportive of LGBTQ people, or fd a more supportive place of worship at, Q Christian Fellowship, Khet, or Mlims for Progrsive Valuenuragg fay and iends to check wh your child and show supportchallengg homophobic mentsgettg to know your child’s LGBTQ iends and romantic partnersupport your child’s genr exprsn... When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns.

As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups. If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero.

The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU SPECT YOUR KID IS GAY OR TRANSGENR

Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG). List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children. Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn).

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc. Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay.

Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child. Fortunate Fai: Catholic fai wh lbian dghters and gay sons.

HELP! MY SON IS GAY

Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Fai Negotiate Comg Out. Don’t be surprised if you feel shaken or pelled to qutn or exame your own beliefs on the subject of homosexualy the light of this experience. What led you to believe that you might be gay?

There’s no absolute need to foreclose on a label for yourself by llg yourself ‘gay, ’ ‘bi, ’ ‘trans, ’ or anythg else. After all, many people have felt same-sex attractns whout adoptg the ‘gay’ label. This means enuragg your son to talk openly about the feelgs, wants, hop, and fears he’s gog through whout assigng them to any specific tegory (“gay” or “straight”).

When Homosexualy Hs Home: What to Do When a Loved One Says They’re Gay.