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ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bqbBYQ"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ivtvgj byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd ggMZaT cXqSTL eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributors/simon-park">Simon Park</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2015-04-13T14:19:03-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd kYZrFA kEBrdf">April 13, 2015</time></div></div></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div 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EOneK body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><div class="GenericCalloutWrapper-tojWn iHBnEl llout--has-top-borr set-embedd-le" data-ttid="GenericCallout"><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO KhjZz AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image rponsive-image--expandable"><noscript><img alt="In his current standup tour “To Be Free” the Brish edian Simon Amstell tri to break to Amerin edy and..." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI fmQnYP asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo iXWezO ptn__text">In his current standup tour, “To Be Free,” the Brish edian Simon Amstell tri to break to Amerin edy and break ee of his ego.</span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT jbIJNS ptn__cred">Photograph by Douglas Gorenste / NBC via Getty</span></div></figure></div><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg">The English edian Simon Amstell is reedy and pale, wh a brown mop of curls and the meanor of a bullied schoolboy: head bowed, hands awkward. But he has built his reer the U.K. wh edy based on an aggrsive subvertg of social nventn. As an terviewer of celebri on Brish televisn, where he began his reer the early ghts, Amstell, who is openly gay, once flirted brazenly wh the reggae sger Beenie Man, who had been cricized for homophobia his lyrics. (When Beenie Man attempted to rebuff the advanc by askg if Amstell wanted to go out after the show and pick up women, Amstell rpond by handg the sger a banana scrawled wh his phone number.) In a memorable episo of the mic-trivia panel show “Never Md the Buzzcks,” where Amstell served as prenter om 2006 to 2008, Samuel Prton, of the punk pop band the Ordary Boys, stalked off the stage after Amstell began readg excciatg extracts om the bgraphy of the sger’s wife at the time, the mol Chantelle Houghton.</p><p class="paywall">On his current standup tour, “To Be Free,” which arriv at New York’s Theater 80 on Tuday followg a popular n the U.K., Amstell ntu to prod the artifice of celebry and succs, but this time by turng his lampoong eye ward. He spends much of the hourlong show ridiculg his own fascatn wh fame and his satiable need to be loved. (“I went to see a screeng of a low-budget film that I was , and was the first time I’d seen my face on a cema screen,” he says. “Now some actors n’t even look at themselv. I me out of that room thkg, ‘My face should <em>always</em> be that big.’ ”) When I met Amstell recently at a London fé, midway through his U.K. tour, he scribed his forays to the Amerin edy world as part of a qut to satisfy this sire. In his show, he jok about his fear of beg labelled a “regnal ic.” “Fame has to be retaed; otherwise ’s even worse than beg famo,” he told me. “You bee someone who <em>ed</em> to be famo.”</p><p class="paywall">Amstell, who is thirty-five, began dog standup while filmg the Brish mic show “Popworld” the mid-ghts. In 2009, he wrote and starred an tobgraphil TV s, “Grandma’s Hoe.” Set Essex, where he grew up, the show portrays a close-kn morn Jewish fay. Amstell’s dotg mother, played by Rebec Front, is dismayed at her son’s cisn to qu televisn prentg orr to pursue what she nsirs an ferr reer stage actg. (In one episo, Amstell’s grandfather has a ncer sre; the growth, turns out, was a rais.) Amstell told me that, when he was growg up, TV seemed like a medium that uld provi the kd of radil acceptance he had yet to achieve real life. “It was this credible place where I thought I’d be allowed to be myself fully,” he said. “In TV there seemed to me to be a kd of jtice where, if there is jt the ht of prejudice the air, the dience would boo. This was ntrast to my fay, where, if there’s more than a ht of prejudice the air, people appld.”</p><p class="paywall">It was after pletg a send season of the show that Amstell began to feel the urge to leave England and pursue fame Ameri. “The therapy was plete, and once the trma isn’t there, I feel like the edy is ad,” he said. “My ego started lookg around. It whispered: the good people go to Ameri and make people pay attentn to them over there.” An opportuny arose when he met the edian Eddie Izzard at an event hosted by Apple; Izzard put him touch wh the producer who had brought Izzard to the Uned Stat. The producer, Arnold Engelman, suggted that Amstell take up a rincy New York and booked the two-hundred-seat Theatre 80. Amstell arrived New York, 2012, and hand out fliers to passersby the street. An early performance received a favorable review the <em>Tim</em>. “The theatre started half full, but, by the end of the rincy, was oversubscribed and people sat the stairs,” Amstell told me.</p><p class="paywall">The rincy led to an vatn to appear on “Late Show wh David Letterman.” (He <a href=">ma a send appearance last October</a>.) In “To Be Free,” Amstell scrib how attag show-bs succs n preclu s enjoyment: you work hard to make , then you mt work hard to rema on top. In one b, he scrib walkg offstage after the Letterman début to warm applse, when somebody approached him and said, “If you’re not happy now, you’ll never be happy.” “I thought to myself, I will never be happy,”Amstell said.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p class="paywall">The power of Amstell’s new show li the nflict between two sis of his personaly: one si believ that breakg social nventn n lead not only to edy but also to timacy; the other si, his pky ego, seeks to e vulnerabily not for hont nnectn so much as for personal ga. He tells a story the show about a party at which he found himself talkg to someone he barely knew. “In that moment, I felt as though I uld do anythg so I asked him, ont of his iends: ‘What’s this sadns?’ He looked alarmed, but I put my hand on his shoulr and ntued, ‘Whatever is, you n let go now.’ And he said, ‘Oh n I?’ And I thought, ‘Oh! I am <em>not</em> J.” What I learned that night is that, if you really want to help someone, has to be about them. Who knew!”</p><p class="paywall">As the tle of his show suggts, Amstell wants to be ee, but he is also self-aware enough to know that strivg for eedom n be self-servg and, ultimately, imprisong. “I want to be ee of the ego,” he told me. “But, of urse, I am only ee om worryg about what people thk of me if they like me enough to see my shows. It’s plited.”</p><p class="paywall">When our nversatn end and we left the fé for the htle of Oxford Street, he asked me, somewhat mournfully, “Did you like me before we met?”</p><p class="paywall">“Y,” I replied.</p><p class="paywall">“And have I blown ?” he asked.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR daRVRt persistent-asi" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box ArticlePageSplAdRail-OyjwD jikppc"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="ArticlePageSplAdRailContent-jsltpq iZDmmY spl-ad-rail-ntent"><div class="ArticlePageSplAdRailTop-jUrrVY jzzFg"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="tfo03"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div><div class="ArticlePageSplAdRailMiddle-tiRvu hiZeZX spl-ad-rail-middle"></div><div class="ArticlePageSplAdRailBottom-dBKMGQ jmCMsn spl-ad-rail-bottom"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="e4r3a"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu GWFsc ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"><div class="ContributorBWrapper-bnVHbt gMon"><div class="ContributorBAvatar-bIGTqf eMWbvj"><a href="/ntributors/simon-park"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span></a></div><div class="ContributorBContent-ubQdr jZTSSi"><div class="ContributorBHear-ledood XOIEx"></div><div class="ContributorBB-fBolsO giFhKz"><a href="/ntributors/simon-park">Simon Park</a> is a ntributg wrer to The New Yorker. His most recent book is “<a href=">The Island of Extraordary Captiv</a>.”</div><div class="ContributorBFooter-brqDlv ezUmSv"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="TagCloudWrapper" class="TagCloudWrapper-gGgndx ctyZyK ContentFooterTagCloud-krQmRG ZLGh"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudSectnHear-cOforY iUEiRd bPyAoD kQQRmu">More:</span><a href="/tag/edy" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd ggMZaT gFob hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd gwIVBQ bUkXwu">Comedy</span></a><a href="/tag/late-show" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd ggMZaT gFob hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd gwIVBQ bUkXwu">Late Show</span></a><a href="/tag/standup" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd ggMZaT gFob hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd gwIVBQ bUkXwu">Standup</span></a></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ContentFooterNewsletterContentWrapper-bmjtna kixtae"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormWrapper-fCqqkN jKSBhE newsletter-subscribe-form ContentFooterNewsletterForm-hKeYwa liPqcf"><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormHedDekWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormHedDekWrapper-fpMElW eglIBL"><h3 class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDangeroHed-kRwWjt feDzQf newsletter-subscribe-form__hed ContentFooterNewsletterForm-hKeYwa liPqcf">Gogs On</h3><div class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDek-kXonvc grEaES newsletter-subscribe-form__k">What we’re watchg, listeng to, and dog this week, onle, N.Y.C., and beyond. 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href="/magaze/2015/04/06/the-nerd-hunter" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ktcjQn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Nerd Hunter" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Onward and Upward wh the Arts</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/magaze/2015/04/06/the-nerd-hunter" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ fzzTdh summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Nerd Hunter</div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd kxnNhB jDyfzW summary-em__k">The stg director Allison Jon is rhapg Amerin edy, one misf at a time.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" 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dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/culture/cultural-ment/louis-ck-edy-philosophy" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ fzzTdh summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Half-Tths, Non-Tths, and Louis C.K.</div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>David Haglund</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div 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SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Iphigenia Fort Hills" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">A Reporter at Large</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ fzzTdh summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Iphigenia Fort Hills</div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd kxnNhB jDyfzW summary-em__k">Anatomy of a murr trial.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ja Mallm</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hNpSyX summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center 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