Three sgle, gay dads talk about their journeys. : NPR

Contents:

• THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
• SGLE GAY DADS GIVE TIPS FOR FIRST-TIME PARENTS: ‘I CREATED THE VILLAGE AROUND MYSELF’
• PATHS TO PARENTHOOD FOR SGLE & GAY DADS: AN INTRODUCTN
• THE SOCIAL EXPERIENC OF SGLE GAY FATHERS ISRAEL: AN INTERSECTNAL PERSPECTIVE
• WHY A SGLE GAY DAD OF 3 WH A HEARTBREAKG PAST IS GOG VIRAL
• GAY FATHERS, GOG IT ALONE
• LONE PARENTHOOD THE COVID‐19 NTEXT: ISRAELI SGLE GAY FATHERS' PERSPECTIVE
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• GAY FATHERS FACE STIGMA AS PARENTS

THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS

NPR spoke to three men, sgle gay fathers, who chose to bee dads via surrogacy, after years of g to terms wh their inti, their fai, and the technologil advanc that have ma journeys like this possible. In fact, gay sgle dads are part of a growg movement that has seen a signifint surge of tert the last few years, as noted by the New York get a more plete picture of the joys of fatherhood, Yahoo Life spoke to four sgle gay dads who prove that love is what tly mak a fay.

SGLE GAY DADS GIVE TIPS FOR FIRST-TIME PARENTS: ‘I CREATED THE VILLAGE AROUND MYSELF’

”Fzpatrick, whose father, a gay Black man, was killed senselsly by gun vlence the parkg lot of a gay bar when Fzpatrick was 18, says that fatherhood gave him unique opportuni to turn his paful past to purpose through the love of his dghter. Through an tersectnal lens, this study explor the experience of beg a sgle gay father by choice Israeli society, which ntu to view the tradnal heterosexual two-parent fay as the ial. Analysis of 15 -pth, semi-stctured terviews wh sgle gay Israeli fathers suggts that their experienc are characterized by nstant tensn between their self-perceived social acceptance and sense of belongg on the one hand and their enunters wh discrimatn and bias on the other.

The fdgs shed light on the ways which the fathers' plex experienc are shaped by the tersectn between their inty as parents and their two margalized inti: sgle male parents and gay fathers. As the fathers pe wh their environment, they velop a sense of belongg alongsi a ep sense of otherns, suggtg that the sense of belongg and the sense of otherns are not bary oppos, but rather two social tegori that are ntually nstcted through the tersectn between different inti and their teractn wh macro-level factors, makg sgle gay parenthood a multidimensnal experience. Higher Levels of Postnatal Deprsive Symptomatology, Post-Trmatic Growth, and Life Satisfactn among Gay Fathers through Surrogacy Comparison to Heterosexual Fathers: A Study Israel Tim of COVID-19.

Tchounwou, Amic EdorAbstractThrough an tersectnal lens, this study explor the experience of beg a sgle gay father by choice Israeli society, which ntu to view the tradnal heterosexual two-parent fay as the ial. The fdgs shed light on the ways which the fathers’ plex experienc are shaped by the tersectn between their inty as parents and their two margalized inti: sgle male parents and gay fathers.

PATHS TO PARENTHOOD FOR SGLE & GAY DADS: AN INTRODUCTN

The social experienc of sgle gay fathers by choice, fed as gay men who actively choose to parent alone through adoptn or surrogacy and egg donatn [1, 2], have received very ltle rearch attentn.

THE SOCIAL EXPERIENC OF SGLE GAY FATHERS ISRAEL: AN INTERSECTNAL PERSPECTIVE

Sgle Gay Fatherhood by ChoiceSgle parents by choice, whether mothers or fathers, fy the culturally domant view unrlyg the tradnal fay mol, whereby parenthood and uplehood are ntgent upon one another [3, 4]. Some of the studi foced on children raised gay sgle-father fai through surrogacy, suggtg that this fay stcture has no trimental effects on children’s adjtment out [16, 17].

A recent study, addrsg both gay and heterosexual sgle-father fai through surrogacy, also reveals that observed nflictual parentg mediat the associatn between parentg qualy sgle fathers’ fai of orig and the attachment secury of their children [18] studi have foced on the motivatns and experienc of sgle gay fathers. Another study [14] explored the parentg experienc of sgle gay Israeli fathers as part of a broar rearch project that vtigated the parentg experienc of gay men both sgle and same-sex parent fai who beme fathers through surrogacy. The study revealed differenc the experienc of sgle and upled gay fathers, suggtg that sgle men perceived the unique challeng they face as promotg their parental petence and rilience.

WHY A SGLE GAY DAD OF 3 WH A HEARTBREAKG PAST IS GOG VIRAL

The current study seeks to expand our knowledge of this populatn by vtigatg the social experienc of sgle gay fathers, focg on the effect on the experienc of their tersectg margalized inti as sole male parents and as gay men. Sgle Gay Fatherhood IsraelThe prent study was nducted the ntext of Israeli society, where is timated that there are a few dozen sgle fathers by choice, most of whom are gay men [21] a mted relatnship.

GAY FATHERS, GOG IT ALONE

Wh this ntext, sgle gay fatherhood fli the face of domant social beliefs, cludg the view of parenthood and uplehood as two related enti, the hegemonic stat of the heteronormative fay, and tradnal genr rol [21, 27, 37].

Most of the studi that do exist have examed Israeli gay fathers the ntext of uplehood, monstratg the domant social view that associat parenthood wh uplehood [27, 28, 38, 39]. Our study sought to expand knowledge of the social experienc of sgle gay fathers by g an tersectnal lens to vtigate how the terplay between their inti as sole male parents and gay fathers the ntext of pronatalist and faistic Israeli society shap their experienc. Three recment methods were employed: (1) men who had participated a prev study of gay fathers nducted by the first thor [14] were ntacted; (2) snowball samplg: men who agreed to take part the study referred to other gay fathers; and (3) a ll for participants was posted on an Israeli webse for gay fal sample nsisted of 15 gay men who were the sgle fathers by choice of at least one child.

This procre helped to intify any bias we might have toward sgle gay fatherhood and rce the fluence of the differenc posnaly, and therefore to better unrstand the experienc scribed by the participants [53]. (Eldar, father of 5-year-old tw girls) homosexualy is often equated wh childlsns, some of the participants’ parents were relieved to learn that their son was pursug parenthood spe his sexual orientatn.

LONE PARENTHOOD THE COVID‐19 NTEXT: ISRAELI SGLE GAY FATHERS' PERSPECTIVE

Given that most gay men Israel who pursue fatherhood are a mted relatnship, some participants felt they were appld by this muny for their cisn to bee sgle fathers by choice. Whereas they attributed their social acceptance and sense of belongg to their stat as parents, they lked the social bias they enuntered to the tersectn between beg sole parents and beg gay fathers raisg children whout the prence of a -parent the fay.

(Roy, father of 6-year-old tw boys) a rult of the associatn between parenthood and uplehood, would appear that gay parenthood only enjoys social legimacy a two-parent fay stcture,.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

(Yotam, father of 6-year-old tw girls) terviews suggt that participants’ experienc were also shaped by social policy and legislatn regardg sgle and gay men’s accs to surrogacy and adoptn Israel. All the fathers but two, regardls of their children’s ag, ntend that discrimatn agast them was rooted the polil disurse, which they perceived to be domated by ultra-Orthodox and nservative parti that legimize gay fai. The State of Israel don’t only discrimate agast gay men, also discrimat agast other groups of people who don’t ply wh the mands of Orthodox Judaism, cludg those mixed marriag between Jews and non-Jews, people who are divorced… Parenthood and fay have bee a means of prervg the monopoly of Orthodox Jewish parti and the tradnal fay stcture.

Narratg their experienc the terms enhanc their sense of agency and nclu, the terviews suggt that the participants relate the social bias and discrimatn they enunter to the tersectn between two major tegori: beg sole male parents and beg gay fathers. They attribute the tensn to the tersectn between their social inty as parents, which is highly valued Israel’s faistic society [29], and their addnal social inti as sgle parents and as gay fathers, which challenge domant views of genr and parentg [14, 37, 54], as well as the ial of the tradnal heterosexual two-parent fay [55].

The fathers our study scribed how their dual inty as sgle parents and as gay fathers heightened their vulnerabily to social bias and discrimatn related to macro-level social factors, such as social polici and legislatn, heterosexism, and tradnal views of the ial fay. The fdgs are le wh those of prev studi suggtg that gay fathers’ social experienc are negatively impacted by macro-level factors, such as stereotypil genr beliefs and reproductn polici [37, 56, 57] fathers our study exprsed a strong sense of belongg to their immediate social surroundgs, as well as to Israeli society general, which they associated wh their pliance wh the faist iology and pronatalist imperativ of Israeli society [27, 58, 59, 60].

GAY FATHERS FACE STIGMA AS PARENTS

In this ntext, Yeffet [35] argu that the legal regulatn of the parent–child relatnship Israel mandat a “b-enomic mol” of fatherhood, which foc on men’s blogil nnectn and enomic ntributn, excludg them om rg and nurturg this social atmosphere, sgle gay fathers feel both socially accepted by virtue of their parental stat, leadg to an creased sense of belongg to mastream society, and margalized by their stat as sole male parents and as gay men raisg children. In this ntext, is tertg to note that although is generally accepted to lk sgle parenthood and margalizatn together wh a margal soc-enomic posn, our fdgs monstrate that the margalized stat of sgle parenthood among gay men is associated wh the tersectn of their sexual orientatn, relatnship stat, and genr, and not wh their soc-enomic posn.

The fdgs are nsistent wh earlier reports suggtg that lbian and gay parents ga social legimacy as parents om their social surroundgs only after monstratg their rg abili and petence [22, 31, 39, 56] fathers our study were not passively affected by macrosocial factors but sought to challenge them actively by fulfillg their parenthood sir spe social bias and legal discrimatn, both practicg volved fatherhood and fightg legal rtrictns. Given the high rat of tw births surrogacy arrangements [47, 48, 49], which have bee a mon pathway to gay fatherhood [23, 37], future studi would also benef om explorg differenc the social experienc of sgle gay fathers of tws pared to sgle gay fathers of sgletons, an issue that was not addrsed the current study.

ConclnsThe prent study ntribut to our unrstandg of the unique social experienc of sgle gay fathers, revealg the ways which their experienc are shaped by var dimensns of their inty, such as parental stat, genr, sexual orientatn, and relatnship stat. Our fdgs show that sgle gay fathers challenge hegemonic perceptns of masculy and fatherhood, which emphasize men’s tradnal role as fancial provirs and posn them as sendary parents and not primary regivers [68, 69, 70]. By assumg both the primary regivg role tradnally fulfilled by women and the fancial provir role herent to hegemonic masculy and fatherg [70], sgle gay fathers monstrate an alternative mol of masculy that has been referred to as a mol of rg masculi [70, 71] as rporat valu and practic of re to mascule inti [71].