Gay Men and Their Fathers: Hurt and Healg | Psychology Today

Contents:

• 'RETURN THE KEY': THE PARENTS WHO REJECT THEIR GAY CHILDREN
• 'ACCEPT' AND 'TOLERATE' MY GAY KID? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH
• I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY
• MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
• WHEN I TOLD MY GAY SON 49 PEOPLE DIED FOR BEG JT LIKE HIM
• GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
• THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• I TRIED TO STOP MY SON OM BEG GAY. HERE’S WHAT I WISH I HAD KNOWN
• JT BEE HE BREATH: LEARNG TO TLY LOVE OUR GAY SON
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

'RETURN THE KEY': THE PARENTS WHO REJECT THEIR GAY CHILDREN

That’s how I feel’The armageddon refers to his mum’s strong Jehovah’s Wns beliefs about the sfulns of homosexualy. ’”Chris, sadly, isn’t alone his story of parental fa of equalyAt the time I terviewed him, a Brazilian mother who killed her teenage son for beg gay is sentenced to 25 years prison.

'ACCEPT' AND 'TOLERATE' MY GAY KID? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Celebry stori of heartbreakg parental rejectn are also November, the Amerin thor and producer Robyn Crawford released a book nfirmg she had had a romantic relatnship wh Whney Hoton – but had to abandon out of fear of the repercsns om Hoton’s by Oprah Wey if would have bothered her if her dghter was gay, Cissy Hoton said “Absolutely.

I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY

“She even worked Brisbane’s gay bar, ” Chris says. At the begng of his send year of llege, my son Nick told me he was gay, and that he didn‘t believe same-sex relatnships were sful. My turng pot me to me one day as I was readg a blog ment wrten by a gay man to someone sayg he didn’t want to be iends wh people who thought was sful for him to have same-sex relatnships, bee he was tired of beg treated like he was “ls than other people” and “a send rate cizen”— stck me then that if I were his sho, I would probably feel the same way.

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok.

WHEN I TOLD MY GAY SON 49 PEOPLE DIED FOR BEG JT LIKE HIM

Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace. React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

Rob Portman (R-Oh) reversed his stance on gay marriage, largely bee his son is gay, and although I felt like I should have been happy about , left a bad taste my mouth. Cizens, but my knee-jerk reactn was, "Oh, you support gay marriage now bee directly affects your fay?

THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

" I know that that thought was not genero, and I'm not proud of , but my tratn is real, and the problem of homophobia is U. It turns out that he has a gay son too, but his opposn to marriage equaly is not gog to change. I've been fortunate enough to hear om gay kids all across the untry.

I TRIED TO STOP MY SON OM BEG GAY. HERE’S WHAT I WISH I HAD KNOWN

I cherish the good stori, but there's often a moment those good stori that mak my heart hurt: when they tell me how happy they are that their parents "still" love them -- bee all those kids knew that not lovg them was an policians there is a lot talk of "acceptance" and "tolerance" when to homosexualy, and I n't help but thk that those are the wrong words. Anyone who thks that a child would make the choice to be gay is obte and not worth engagg a discsn of the people happen. That means that gay children happen, and gay children n be born to anyone or adopted to any fay.

If someone is not prepared to love a gay child, then what bs do they have parentg children at all? After all, they n't perform the number-one may feel that is possible to love a person and not accept that he or she is gay. Lovg someone but hatg the fact that he or she is gay would be like lovg someone but hatg the fact that he or she has arms or what about those parents who do "accept" and "tolerate" their gay children?

They're better parents than those who throw their children out of the hoe or abe them for beg gay. Words like "accept" and "tolerate" do not dite good thgs; the ntext of homosexualy, they imply that there is somethg wrong wh beg gay that parents have to put up wh.

JT BEE HE BREATH: LEARNG TO TLY LOVE OUR GAY SON

That is not a good child serv to be loved for exactly who they are, so I thk 's about time that we change how we talk about our gay children. " When we cherish and celebrate who our children are, then maybe the sred gay kids this untry will stop worryg about whether their parents will "still" love them and will simply know they are loved unndnally. Relatedlgbt tolerancerob portmangay acceptancematt salmonGay Children.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

Qutn: TWO months ago my son Gav, 29, announced that he is gay.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

He me home one weekend to expla to me and my hband that he has been livg wh his partner for three months and has known he was gay sce he was 17. UPSET: Mary n't e to terms wh the fact that her son is gay / pic posed by molsI was vastated and me as a shock bee Gav has the past brought girliends home to meet . Mary, 57, SheffieldAnswer:DEBORAH SAYS:How do you e to terms wh the news your son is gay?

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

You have to let them parents fd hard to accept their child is gay. Perhaps is ls difficult than once was bee there is ls secrecy and ls opprobrium surroundg homosexualy but is still hard bee upsets all your expectatns about your mt have been very difficult for Gav to e home and tell you this.

Of urse you wouldn’ you n’t “e to terms” wh homosexualy you n’t e to terms wh him.