How Do Gay People Pick Their Sexual Rol? - Philalphia Weekly

Contents:

• GEICS MAY DETERME IF GAY MEN ARE TOPS OR BOTTOMS
• HOW DO GAY PEOPLE PICK THEIR SEXUAL ROL?
• "IT TAK A MAN TO PUT ME ON THE BOTTOM": GAY MEN'S EXPERIENC OF MASCULY AND ANAL INTERURSE
• TOP/BOTTOM SEXUAL SELF-LABELS AND EMPATHIZG-SYSTEMIZG COGNIVE STYL AMONG GAY MEN CHA

GEICS MAY DETERME IF GAY MEN ARE TOPS OR BOTTOMS

Many gay men do intify themselv as strictly a top (the giver) or a bottom (the receiver) anal sex, but to say that a feme guy is almost always a bottom and a mascule guy is almost always a top is jt pla wrong. Any gay person will tell you that if you want to be sure a guy is a top or a bottom you had better ask them and not wa until you get to the bedroom, bee 's not unmon to fd a butch guy who only wants to bottom OR a waify queen who ref to let anythg near his butt. As I said, most gay men who only prefer one role will actively seek out ONLY men who prefer the other- so they already know who will be dog what.

A majory of gay men are what you ll 'versatile, ' which means they n/will be the giver or the receiver durg anal sex. Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay rd, a Harry Potter–like ceremony occurs where, stead of the Sortg Hat, a giant magil butt plug divis all gay men to two ho: tops or bottoms.This is clearly not the se, pecially for those people who nsir themselv versatile (HIYA). The two subdivisns have their own l, stereotyp, and -jok, and n sometim seem as if they’re at war wh each other, rather than both workg together for mutual sexual pleasure.All of this n make tryg different thgs dntg, pecially if you’re a baby gay venturg to this world for the first time.

So how do you go about ttg new waters?“I believe what I ll takg your erotic temperature,” explas Woody Miller, the thor of the books How to Bottom Like a Porn Star and How to Top Like a Stud, “which is basilly havg a nversatn wh yourself about what is you like.”Miller argu that gay men should exame their relatnship wh power. But I believe that many gay men pick one si, stick to , and that some of those dividuals choose toppg—you’ll have seen their profil markg them as “masc dom tops” on the apps—bee of s ti to tradnal masculy.As Miller explas, there are outsi forc that, datg back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men om tly diggg to what sexual behavrs we might actually enjoy. “What I mean by that,” he says, “is that cultural forc wh the gay muny prize toppg over bottomg.”The ongog fetishizatn of masculy means that the tradnally submissive role of the bottom is associated wh effemacy.

HOW DO GAY PEOPLE PICK THEIR SEXUAL ROL?

Chris Whe, an expert health promotn and the director and prcipal vtigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network San Francis, tak this one step further. Not gettg fucked don’t make you any ls gay.Your sexual posn isn’t your intyLet’s ll bullsh on the ncept that if two people are tops they’re patible, bee the posns that you enjoy don’t fe who you are. There’s really not an eternal sparklg srlet letter markg you wh a “T” or a “B.”To be (fucked) or not to be (fucked) shouldn’t always be the qutnAcrdg to a 2011 study by The Journal of Sexual Medice that surveyed 25,000 gay men Ameri about their last sexual enunters, only 36 percent said they had bottomed and 34 percent said they had topped.So, realy, we’re not actually fuckg all that much.

For the study, 23 participants were shown the datg profile pics of 200 gay men, 100 tops and 100 bottoms, then asked to intify which was which. Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #entertament #gaysex #risque stori and more. It’s been known for a while that tak ls than a send for people to e their ternal “gaydar” to ci if they thk a man is homosexual or heterosexual, and such snap judgements tend to be right.

But n facial differenc be ed to distguish between different typ of gay men — specifilly, those who fe themselv as “tops” vers “bottoms”? The participants were asked to look at 200 photographs of gay men found on an onle datg se (100 tops, 100 bottoms) and tegorize them as tops or bottoms. The thors nclu wh this tantalizg suggtn: “ is possible that siar effects may be found oppose-sex relatnships: women may be able to intify submissive vers domant men om brief observatns of appearance or behavr.”Accurate Intifitn of a Preference for Insertive Vers Receptive Interurse om Static Facial Cu of Gay Men“In terurse between men, one of the partners typilly assum the role of an sertive partner (top) while the other assum a receptive role (bottom).

"IT TAK A MAN TO PUT ME ON THE BOTTOM": GAY MEN'S EXPERIENC OF MASCULY AND ANAL INTERURSE

Although some rearch suggts that the perceptns of potential partners’ sexual rol gay men’s relatnships n affect whether a man will adopt the role of top or bottom durg sexual terurse, remas unclear whether sexual rol uld be perceived accurately by naïve observers. When public cisg and park sex were mon featur of gay life (the 70s, 80s), was impossible to know if the hot guy you followed to the bh was a top or bottom.

TOP/BOTTOM SEXUAL SELF-LABELS AND EMPATHIZG-SYSTEMIZG COGNIVE STYL AMONG GAY MEN CHA

Bizarrely, a time when gay and lbian sexual inti have expand to ls labeled, more flexible terms -- queer, fluid, and so on -- sex rol have never been more rigid, thanks to apps. An entire cleanls and douchg dtry has spng up the last forty years that has preyed heavily on the fears and exploed them -- you n fd many douchg products marketed exclively to gay men.

Anecdotally, seems gay men Europe are ls sh-phobic than Amerin guys, and gay men of a certa age (anyone who fucked around the 70s and 80s) remember a time when gay men didn't really douche often, so they re ls about makg a ltle ms, particularly if means havg lots of fun.