Often the real reason gay men fd so difficult to fd love and happs is bee they are their own worst enemy. YourTango expert Rick Clemons, The Comg Out Coach, drops some rather blunt tth about how gay men need to get out of their own way.
Contents:
- GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)
- WHO ARE THE HAPPIT? STRAIGHTS AND GAYS, BUT NOT BISEXUALS
- CAN YOU BE GAY AND HAPPY?
- HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN
- ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?
- 5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS
- DO HAPPS MEANS GAY
- THE UNTRI WHERE GAY MEN ARE THE HAPPIT
- GAY
- GAY
GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)
* gay mean happiness *
Tom Robson a Brish mician and sger, one of the first, if not the very first pop artist who did not disguise or hi his homosexualy om the general public.
WHO ARE THE HAPPIT? STRAIGHTS AND GAYS, BUT NOT BISEXUALS
Maps and charts show where around the world gay men report beg happit * gay mean happiness *
Until then homosexual actors, micians, athlet or anyone the public eye had two choic life: to keep their homosexualy a secret, pecially om the media, or adopt the mannerisms and a of drs which were very mp but at the same time (ironilly) never admtg their sexual preferenc publicly. Tom Robson released a very succsful song entled (Sg if you're) Glad to be Gay, was the mid-70s, and I was still at a Catholic primary school when I remember que distctly hearg gay beg ed for the first time to unteract the BrEng rogatory terms such as: poofter, poof, queer, not normal, fairy and queen that were rife at the time. Glad to be Gay.
CAN YOU BE GAY AND HAPPY?
The song was origally wrten by Tom Robson for a London gay pri.
An out gay sger, he subsequently formed the. "Glad to Be Gay" is built around four vers cricizg Brish society's attus towards gay people.
In the first verse, criciz the Brish police for raidg gay pubs for no reason at all, once homosexualy had been crimalized sce the 1967 Sexual Offenc Act.
HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN
In the send verse, pots to the hypocrisy of Gay News beg prosecuted for obsceny stead of porn magaz like magaz Playboy or the tabloid The Sun which publish photographs of topls girls on Page 3. It also criciz the way homosexual people are portrayed other parts of the prs, pecially nservative newspapers News of the World and Sunday Exprs.
On the third verse, pots out the extreme nsequenc of homophobia, such as vlence agast LGBT people. For me, a young child livg London at the time, the term gay (meang homosexual and not "happy") was ed much more equently by the media and the general public after the release of "Glad to be Gay".
ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?
It also helped that Tom Robson looked straight and was not the least mp, he did not f the stereotypil ia of how homosexuals looked and behaved. ” Optns of gay/lbian; bisexual; heterosexual or straight; or don’t know.
” [only 4 optns, neglect inti such as mostly straight, pansexual, mostly gay, asexual, kk, qutng].
5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS
Only 2% intified as gay/lbian and only 2% intified as bisexual. Counter to mon sense, over a third of those wh lifelong same-sex partners and nearly half of those wh lifelong both-sex partners intified not as gay or bisexual but as straight. If you ed an inty measure, gays, lbians, and bisexuals were ls happy than straights.
DO HAPPS MEANS GAY
If, however, you ed same-sex behavr, gays and lbians were as happy as straights, but not so for dividuals wh both-sex partners--they remaed relatively unhappy. Bee the vast majory of dividuals who intify as bisexual are women (equently the 60% to 80% range), any study that b gays/lbians wh bisexuals and fds negative mental or physil health problems likely distorts our unrstandg of sexual mori and th tells ltle about male bisexuals, gay mal, and lbians. Th, if the goal of rearch is to document the problematic nature of beg gay, lbian, or bisexual, asssg sexual inty is the way to go.
THE UNTRI WHERE GAY MEN ARE THE HAPPIT
Bottom le: Be reful what you read, hear, and believe about gays, lbians, and bisexuals. I've been thkg about my life recently and a qutn popped to my md -- n I be gay and happy? I started lookg around me for some clu, payg particular attentn to my gay iends.
I equently see mental health issu beg pretty proment on the wir gay scene. But more worrygly, many gay men jt aren't reachg out for help. I fd strange that gay men will spend a ton of effort on their bodi but overlook their mental well-beg.
Talkg of backgrounds, sometim I qutn the mental well-beg of the "gaysian" (gay Asian) muny.
GAY
I jt want to see more posive behavr gay men and assure them that the dark clouds do pass. But wh the right support, which uld mean therapy or a wi range of thgs, your future self will thank back to my origal qutn -- am I be gay and happy?
GAY
The ncept of happs n appear superficial at tim the gay muny.
VISH GAIKWAD is a London-livg, Brney-lovg "gaysian.
This is supposed to be gay heaven. We’ve left the dull, homophobic towns, but we’ve lost somethg the procs. A good illtratn of the facts is the recent spate of news stori about how gay men are happier than heterosexual men.