The untri where gay men are the happit

GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)

Often the real reason gay men fd so difficult to fd love and happs is bee they are their own worst enemy. YourTango expert Rick Clemons, The Comg Out Coach, drops some rather blunt tth about how gay men need to get out of their own way. * gay mean happiness *

Tom Robson a Brish mician and sger, one of the first, if not the very first pop artist who did not disguise or hi his homosexualy om the general public.

Until then homosexual actors, micians, athlet or anyone the public eye had two choic life: to keep their homosexualy a secret, pecially om the media, or adopt the mannerisms and a of drs which were very mp but at the same time (ironilly) never admtg their sexual preferenc publicly. Tom Robson released a very succsful song entled (Sg if you're) Glad to be Gay, was the mid-70s, and I was still at a Catholic primary school when I remember que distctly hearg gay beg ed for the first time to unteract the BrEng rogatory terms such as: poofter, poof, queer, not normal, fairy and queen that were rife at the time. Glad to be Gay.

The song was origally wrten by Tom Robson for a London gay pri.

WHO ARE THE HAPPIT? STRAIGHTS AND GAYS, BUT NOT BISEXUALS

Maps and charts show where around the world gay men report beg happit * gay mean happiness *

An out gay sger, he subsequently formed the. "Glad to Be Gay" is built around four vers cricizg Brish society's attus towards gay people. In the first verse, criciz the Brish police for raidg gay pubs for no reason at all, once homosexualy had been crimalized sce the 1967 Sexual Offenc Act.

In the send verse, pots to the hypocrisy of Gay News beg prosecuted for obsceny stead of porn magaz like magaz Playboy or the tabloid The Sun which publish photographs of topls girls on Page 3.

It also criciz the way homosexual people are portrayed other parts of the prs, pecially nservative newspapers News of the World and Sunday Exprs. On the third verse, pots out the extreme nsequenc of homophobia, such as vlence agast LGBT people.

CAN YOU BE GAY AND HAPPY?

For me, a young child livg London at the time, the term gay (meang homosexual and not "happy") was ed much more equently by the media and the general public after the release of "Glad to be Gay". It also helped that Tom Robson looked straight and was not the least mp, he did not f the stereotypil ia of how homosexuals looked and behaved.

” Optns of gay/lbian; bisexual; heterosexual or straight; or don’t know. ” [only 4 optns, neglect inti such as mostly straight, pansexual, mostly gay, asexual, kk, qutng]. Only 2% intified as gay/lbian and only 2% intified as bisexual.

Counter to mon sense, over a third of those wh lifelong same-sex partners and nearly half of those wh lifelong both-sex partners intified not as gay or bisexual but as straight. If you ed an inty measure, gays, lbians, and bisexuals were ls happy than straights.

HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN

If, however, you ed same-sex behavr, gays and lbians were as happy as straights, but not so for dividuals wh both-sex partners--they remaed relatively unhappy.

Bee the vast majory of dividuals who intify as bisexual are women (equently the 60% to 80% range), any study that b gays/lbians wh bisexuals and fds negative mental or physil health problems likely distorts our unrstandg of sexual mori and th tells ltle about male bisexuals, gay mal, and lbians. Th, if the goal of rearch is to document the problematic nature of beg gay, lbian, or bisexual, asssg sexual inty is the way to go. Bottom le: Be reful what you read, hear, and believe about gays, lbians, and bisexuals.

I've been thkg about my life recently and a qutn popped to my md -- n I be gay and happy? I started lookg around me for some clu, payg particular attentn to my gay iends. I equently see mental health issu beg pretty proment on the wir gay scene.

ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?

But more worrygly, many gay men jt aren't reachg out for help.

I fd strange that gay men will spend a ton of effort on their bodi but overlook their mental well-beg. Talkg of backgrounds, sometim I qutn the mental well-beg of the "gaysian" (gay Asian) muny.

I jt want to see more posive behavr gay men and assure them that the dark clouds do pass. But wh the right support, which uld mean therapy or a wi range of thgs, your future self will thank back to my origal qutn -- am I be gay and happy? The ncept of happs n appear superficial at tim the gay muny.

5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS

VISH GAIKWAD is a London-livg, Brney-lovg "gaysian. This is supposed to be gay heaven. We’ve left the dull, homophobic towns, but we’ve lost somethg the procs.

A good illtratn of the facts is the recent spate of news stori about how gay men are happier than heterosexual men. "A new study has found that gay and bisexual men are ls likely to be prsed and have psychologil problems than heterosexual men.

"Of urse gays are ls strsed. Alas, none of this good news for gays and spankg fetishists is really backed up by the data the origal study, which, while trigug, is hardly evince that is beg out and gay that mak men happier (let alone women).

DO HAPPS MEANS GAY

For one, the study reced participants Montreal, a large and fairly progrsive cy where beg openly gay do not e wh high social or enomic sts.

While gay men the study seemed to experience ls strs and prsn than straight men, there are a variety of alternative explanatns that might expla this fact (like whether they worked out or not; whether they had children or not; e level and stabily). In other words, you might be out at work and at home, but if your grandparents don't know you're gay, then you're marked as closeted. Once upon a time there was a gay man and he me out of the closet and was happy and lived happily everyafter.

It seems like more than jt bad reportg to tell gay men and women that happs is up to them, not the world at large, and happs will rive om disclosure when that very disclosure n be dangero.

All the study really told is that beg gay, male, young, ted and whe a large, libreral cy like Montreal n be advantageo. Bee I'm tired of hearg gay men talk about how unhappy they are.

The problem wh gay men... IS gay men!

It's time to "man up" and get to the real reasons gay men have so many problems fdg love and Tth: We're Our Own Worst Enemi Far too many gay men script our liv to the envy of Sex and the Cy wrers. And stead, let's exame the top 5 ways gay men brg problems upon ourselv:1.

GAY

Hontly, this isn't jt a gay man's problem; 's a man problem. We thk wh our difference is, gay guys obss about crotch. However, for gay men, the greener pasture often seems (seems beg the operative word) to have a 6-pack vers a 5-pack, and a bank acunt that's not nsistently problem that aris wh the "somethg better will e along" mentaly is you sudnly wake up one day realizg you're still wag for the green grass to grow.

You will be what matters, and the amount of self-love and self-nfince will be 's a few more reasons why the problem wh gay men is themselv:We don't love ourselv enough to know how to love someone else, and then we bch bee we n't fd foc is outward-driven stead of are the total sum of the five gay men we spend most of our time wh.

GAY

Acceptance don't require beg someone else's versn of an ial gay man.

The untri where gay men are the happit - The Washgton Post

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