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class="jsx-3959280869 loadg-bar-ntaer"><div class="jsx-3959280869 loadg-bar"></div></div><hear class="jsx-897490467 hear"><div class="jsx-1852792583 sibar-page-hear"></div><div class="jsx-303009029 adun-wrapper"><div class="jsx-303009029 bobble bobble- pogot pg-article"><div data-mix-name="fourBy" data-pos="" data-pogo-hi="1" class="jsx-343126785 pogo-slot"></div></div></div><div id="p-top-ribbon" class="jsx-1373134118 piano-template-placeholr"></div></hear><ma id="ma-ntent" class="jsx-1402789575"><div class="jsx-303009029 adun-wrapper"><div class="jsx-303009029 fixed-on-mobile bobble bobble-0 pogot pg-article"><div data-mix-name="articleSticky" data-pos="0" data-pogo-hi="1" class="jsx-343126785 pogo-slot"></div></div></div><div class="jsx-310563508 page-hear page-ntent"><div class="terface jsx-153568585 stack jsx-3890109618 bold small"><a href="/movi/300" class="jsx-4245402894 article-object-lk unrled" data-cy="object-breadcmb">300</a><a href="/tv/south-park" class="jsx-167857536 article-object-lk unrled" data-cy="object-breadcmb">South Park</a></div><h1 class="display-tle jsx-1062180250" data-cy="article-headle">South Park: Mr. Garrison's Greatt Moments</h1><h2 class="tle3 jsx-2866659985" data-cy="article-sub-headle">It's hard to believe that he shap young mds. We take a look at South Park's clilly wrong hate-monger's most ntroversial moments.</h2><div id="p-article-below-hear" class="jsx-3647225544 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div></div><div class="jsx-1897904587 page-ntent"><sectn class="jsx-3528870638 byle"><div class="stack jsx-816329128 byle-stack"><div class="stack jsx-1752463718 article-thors"><div class="ptn jsx-1189612256">By <span class="jsx-3953721931 article-thor">Travis Fickett</span></div></div><div class="jsx-3176214726 divir"></div><div class="ptn jsx-1189612256">Updated: <!-- -->May 9, 2012 7:11 am</div><div class="jsx-3176214726 divir"></div><div class="ptn jsx-1189612256">Posted: <!-- -->Mar 11, 2010 10:40 pm</div></div><div class="jsx-4050243981 divir"></div></sectn><div id="p-article-below-hear-image" class="jsx-3606872557 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div></div><div class="jsx-3517015813 page-ntent"><div class="jsx-3517015813 si-by-si"><div class="jsx-3517015813 article-ntent page-0"><sectn class="article jsx-1671530817 article-sectn jsx-28683165"><sectn class="article-page"> <em><a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">South Park</a></em>'s <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mr. Garrison</a> don't do anythg lightly. He gets an ia to his head and div – head first. He's unrgone radil surgeri; he's changed his sexual inti almost too many tim to unt. He's been prejudiced agast virtually every kd of group that's wanred through South Park. He's the kd of crazy ually rerved for homels people screamg om siwalks. Now – take that guy and put him a classroom filled wh children. Hooray! <div class="jsx-303009029 adun-wrapper"><div class="jsx-303009029 bobble bobble-0 pogot pg-article"><div data-mix-name="mediumAd" data-pos="0" data-pogo-hi="1" class="jsx-343126785 pogo-slot"></div></div></div><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Mr. Garrison is every parent's worst nightmare. He's almost always wrong about everythg, yet at the same time he's 100% certa of his posn. Usually his beliefs work direct ntrast to who he really is. <em>South Park</em> creators <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Matt Stone</a> and <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Trey Parker</a> have taken the ia of a "self-hatg" homosexual and turned up to 11. Now Garrison reprents anyone who is so steeped self-nial that "hypocre" be an aquate term. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Over the show's long history, Mr. (and Mrs., but we'll get to that a mute) Garrison has had many, many terrifilly funny moments. <em>South Park</em> has long been about how misguid and foolish adults n be, wh <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Stan</a> and <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kyle</a> havg to set thgs right. As we'll see om this list, there are few habants of South Park as misguid or as foolish as good ol' Mr. Garrison. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><div data-cy="accent-divir" class="jsx-2008757641 divir"></div> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Tryg to Kill Kathy Lee Gifford</strong><br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Weight Ga 4000</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Mr. Garrison was already troduced the first episo as some kd of lunatic who his puppet to say the thgs he really wants to say. It quickly beme obv that "Mr. Hat" wasn't jt a teachg aid – but some sort of maniftatn of Garrison's actured psyche. But how crazy uld he really be? </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> The send episo answers that qutn for as Mr. Garrison sets about tryg to assassate Kathy Lee Gifford. That's right, he's "book posory" crazy. Of urse, Garrison don't actually get the chance to kill Gifford. But he do kill <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kenny</a>. It's the first sign of what's to e – and only the begng of the Madns of Mr. Garrison. </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Comg Out of the Closet</strong><br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Fourth Gra</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> For the first few years the show played on the fact that Mr. Garrison <em>seemed</em> gay. He's never seen wh a woman, and clu were nstantly poppg up. But the whole time Mr. Garrison was beg vilently anti-gay his rhetoric. After all, "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ri</a>" he referred to gays as beg: </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> "Evil right down to their ld black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and me, but rather a thick, vomo oil that ooz through their rotten ves and clots their pea-sized bras which be the e of their Nazi-que patterns of vlent behavr." </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Faced wh the opns on homosexualy and the dawng realizatn that he was himself homosexual, Mr. Garrison did the only sensible thg. He hid a ve on the edge of town. It isn't until after teachg Mrs. Choksondik how to al wh the children that he is able to accept who he really is. But when he adms his new inty to the school – they tell him "We don't hire gay people!" Is any wonr he's a nutjob? </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Tryg to Vanquish "The Richers"</strong> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Here Com The Neighborhood</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Havg admted to beg gay, Mr. Garrison need to expand his prejudice horizons. In "The Richers" this extends to very wealthy people, who jt <em>happen</em> to be Ain Amerin. This fact really don't seem lost on Mr. Garrison who borrows lots of methods om the Ku Klux Klan. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Of urse, all of the racial overton are <em>pure cince.</em> That's not a cross they're burng, 's a "t" for "time to leave." Those aren't Klan outfs – they're tryg to drs as ghosts to sre them away! But when the "richers" do fally leave, Mr. Garrison says "Well, at least we got rid of all those damn ni-" as the show cuts away before gog that one step too far (That's somethg they do later, "Wh Apologi to Jse Jackson…" ). </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Abg <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mr. Slave</a></strong> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Death Camp of Tolerance</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> By season 6, Mr. Garrison was openly, and seemgly proudly gay. In episo 5.2, "It Hs the Fan," he was proud enough to sg a ltle song about g two words we n't reprt here. And by this pot he was wh a man known only as "Mr. Slave," an over-the-top gay riture and masochist leather chaps. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Mr. Garrison is nothg if not a cynil opportunist, and when he learns that he n sue the town for discrimatn if he's fired for beg gay – he go for . Like always, he don't go halfway. In ont of his class, he and Mr. Slave do thgs that shame the word "appropriate." </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> This is one of the few stanc where his own behavr is even too much for him. It's Mr. Garrison himself who chastis the parents for ignorg his behavr unr the guise of "tolerant" when 's jt mon sense that what he was dog was wrong. </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Fightg Metrosexualy</strong> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">South Park is Gay</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> For a short time, Mr. Garrison seems to actually be fortable his inty. He's gay, he has a lover, he knows what he lik. But he gets nfed when the "metrosexual" fad to South Park and the men start adoptg fashn and style practic, as well as certa behavral quirks that – as far as Garrison is ncerned – are the property of te homosexuals. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> This all be clear when townsfolk prevly thought to be straight show up at the gay bar. Mr. Garrison is trated when he realiz none of the men want to go back to his place and have sex. He shouts, "Why won't anybody pound Mr. Slave's butt?!" </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> This episo ends the only way uld: wh Mr. Garrison and <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Chef</a> learng that the stars of <em>Queer Eye for the Straight Guy</em> are, tth, members of a race of subterranean crab people bent on world domatn. </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> <br/> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Beg Mrs. Garrison</strong> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vaga</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Mr. Garrison's perpetual inty nfn and self-hatred e to a boil this episo. At first he was a closeted (and self-hatg) gay man, then an out gay man wh a host of other prejudic. Here he to a sudn realizatn that he is actually a "woman on the si." </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Like wh almost everythg he do, Mr. Garrison wast no time. He unrgo radil surgery havg his penis removed and ta-da! He's now Mrs. Garrison. When Mr. Slave leav Mrs. Garrison bee, beg a gay man, he's attracted to men; Mrs. Garrison starts to doubt her cisn. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> However, bee Kyle had Mr. Garrison's tticl implanted to his kne to bee a taller, better basketball player – they explo when he jumps too hard. The loss of his tticl means that Mrs. Garrison will stay female… for the time beg. </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Fightg Gay Marriage</strong> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Follow That Egg</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> Now that she's a woman, Mrs. Garrison is more than happy to return to the homophobic ways of the past. After all, she's a straight woman. There's a good argument to be ma that prejudice is Mrs. – and Mr. – Garrison's strongt tra. For this episo, the one time proud gay man is now a stnch opponent of gay marriage. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> What this is really about, of urse, is Mrs. Garrison tryg to prevent Mr. Slave om marryg <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Big Gay Al</a>. It's par for the urse Mrs. Garrison's elive search for happs that after beg a woman and tryg to be "normal" – Colorado legaliz gay marriage and Mr. Slave fds happs wh someone else. Where uld this lead? </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Marryg Richard Dawks</strong> <br/> <strong>Episos:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Go, God. Go! Part 2</a>" & "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Go, God. Go! Part 12</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> It leads to marryg Richard Dawks, of urse! After meetg and quickly beg fatuated wh smug atheist Dawks, Mrs. Garrison "nverts" to atheism and eventually marri the evolutnary blogist. Dawks don't know that Mr. Garrison was once a man – and their unn chang history (which <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cartman</a> experienc when he is ozen and viss the future…) </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> This two-parter shows jt how absolutist Mr. Garrison is, abandong reason and his own beliefs stantly to adapt whatever school of thought attracts his attentn at the moment. The future is saved when Dawks learns that Garrison ed to be a man, th endg their relatnship. And Mrs. Garrison's search for happs ntu… </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Beg a Lbian</strong> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">D-Yik</a>" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> There was really nowhere left to go. He'd tried beg a straight man, while actually beg a reprsed gay man. Then he me out of the closet to embrace his homosexualy, but that only lasted for so long. When Mr. Garrison beme Mrs. Garrison – an attempt to achieve some sort of normalcy – the fact is, wherever you go – there you are. So here we fd Mrs. Garrison tryg the only path left to her: beg a lbian. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> There's no dippg of the to, as ual. After a one-night stand wh a woman, Mrs. Garrison go all out and ends up fendg a lbian bar om a mardg army of Persians. It's an elaborate <em><a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">300</a></em> parody, but 's not enough to brg Mrs. Garrison te happs. She has one more change to make. </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <strong>Back to Mr. Garrison</strong> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Eek, a Penis</a>!" <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> It's the return of Mr. Garrison's penis! Gone sce season 9, Mrs. Garrison cis to have the an cloned so she n return to beg a man. This cisn about when Mrs. Garrison learns by watchg Oprah that you n't <em>tly</em> be a woman unls you have a baby. Sce she n't have a baby – the only thg to do is to give up beg a woman all together and return to beg a man. </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> This belief is, of urse, total and absolute. Once he gets his penis back om the back of the moe on which was grown, Mrs. Garrison be Mr. Garrison. Dperate to stake out some permanent ground his ever-evolvg sexual inty, Mr. Garrison claims that the only te measure of genr is whether or not you n have children. When a -worker tak offense to this bee his wife n't have children due to ncer, Mr. Garrison exclaims: "Well you'd better get an AIDS tt Thompson, bee your wife's a du, fa****!" </p> <p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><p class="jsx-3649800006 "> </p><div data-cy="accent-divir" class="jsx-2008757641 divir"></div> <em>South Park</em>: Season 14 premier Wednday, March 17, at 10pm on Comedy Central.</sectn></sectn><div class="stack jsx-2881464549"><div id="p-article-before-verdict" class="jsx-1985944744 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div><div class="jsx-303009029 adun-wrapper"><div class="jsx-303009029 bobble bobble-1 pogot pg-article"><div data-mix-name="sendaryMedrec" data-pos="1" data-pogo-hi="1" class="jsx-343126785 pogo-slot"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="jsx-3517015813 right-rail"></div></div></div><div class="jsx-1897904587 page-ntent"><div id="p-article-below-all-article-ntent" class="jsx-3647225544 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div><h3 class="tle3 jsx-115949532">In This Article</h3><sectn class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787 object-summary-embed"><div class="box jsx-833489582"><div class="ObjectSummaryEmbed_object-ntaer__hb9z4"><div class="ObjectSummaryEmbed_object-loar__LeEK8"></div><div class="ObjectSummaryEmbed_object-tails__UwCNz"><div class="ObjectSummaryEmbed_object-thumbnail__h2Bot"><div class="jsx-142634466 object-thumbnail"><figure class="jsx-4143518889 aspect-rat aspect-rat-1-1"><div class="round jsx-3166191823 overlay progrsive-image jsx-2407332289"></div><img dg="async" alt="South Park" src=" srcSet=" 1x, 2x" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image object-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round expand"/></figure></div></div><div class="ObjectSummaryEmbed_object-tle-lumn__fc73H"><a href="/tv/south-park" class="tle5 jsx-1231161345 jsx-957202555 tle">South Park</a><div class="stack jsx-3465796296 meta-ems jsx-3609068095 subtle"><div class="stack jsx-2562410857 meta-em"><a href="/tv/publisher/edy-central" tle="Networks" data-cy="embed-publisherLk" class="ptn jsx-1189612256 muted">Comedy Central</a></div><div class="jsx-1608829512 divir vertil"></div><div class="stack jsx-2562410857 meta-em"><time class="ptn jsx-1189612256 muted">Aug 13, 1997</time></div></div></div></div></div></div></sectn><div id="p-article-below-object-summary" class="jsx-3647225544 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div><div id="p-article-below-object-review" class="jsx-3647225544 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div></div><div class="jsx-1897904587 page-ntent"><div id="p-article-below-nnatix" class="jsx-3647225544 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div><div class="jsx-1897904587 three-lumn"><div class="jsx-1897904587 bottom-ntent"><sectn id="ments-sectn" class="jsx-1897904587 ments-sectn"><div data-spotim-module="nversatn" data-post-id="4faa18ace20c24044b9dd8fd" data-post-url="></div><div style="marg-right:1em"><div data-spotim-module="pc"></div></div></sectn></div><div class="jsx-1897904587 bottom-right-rail"><div class="jsx-1247231955 ign-remends"><h3 class="tle3 jsx-739685789 ign-remends-headle"><svg class="ign-in jsx-2881019173 in-logo" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 76 24" aria-hidn="false" role="img"><tle>IGN.