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‘THE WHE LOT’ SEASON FALE: ‘THE GAYS, THEY’RE TRYG TO MURR ME!’ARRIVEDERCITHE STRS-DUCG FALE OF SEASON 2 SAW EVEN MORE CHAOTIC SEXUAL POLICS, THE RISE OF FAN FAVOR MIA AND LUCIA, AND THE SHOCKG INTI OF ALL THOSE AD BODI.FLETCHER PETERSENTERTAMENT REPORTERUPDATED DEC. 12, 2022 12:54AM EST / PUBLISHED DEC. 12, 2022 12:09AM EST PHOTO ILLTRATN BY THOMAS LEVSON/THE DAILY BEAST/GETTY/HBOWE SHOULD’VE SEEN THE WHE LOT’ ENDG G OM A E AWAY. IT WAS RIGHT ONT OF THE WHOLE TIME! NONE OF THE GUTS WERE EVER GOG TO WALK AWAY HAVG THE BT WEEK OF THEIR LIV (HELL, ONE OF THEM WAS GOG TO END UP A SKET), WHICH LEAV JT TWO PEOPLE WHO DID: MIA (BEATRICE GRANNó) AND LUCIA (SIMONA TABAS), THE TWO HOOKERS LIVG UP AT THE WHE LOT SICILY.WARNG: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE WHE LOT SEASON 2.THOUGH NONE OF THEM END UP AD—MEANG THEY SHOULD TAKE ANOTHER VATN SEASON 3—THE “HAPPILY” MARRIED UPL HAVE A WILD TIME THIS FALE EPISO. WHILE ETHAN (WILL SHARPE) NTU TO QUTN HARPER (AUBREY PLAZA) ABOUT WHETHER SHE CHEATED ON HIM WH CAMERON (THEO JAM), DAPHNE’S (MEGHANN FAHY) TOO BY FACETIMG HER OUT-OF-WEDLOCK CHILD TO NOTICE.THERE’S THAT OLD SAYG, “IGNORANCE IS BLISS.” DAPHNE TAK A STEP FURTHER. “MYSTERY IS BLISS,” SHE TELLS ETHAN ( MORE OR LS WORDS) AFTER HE TELLS HER HE THKS THEIR SPO CHEATED WH EACH OTHER. HARPER HAS NFIRMED HER BRIEF AFFAIR TO ETHAN—SHE SAYS THEY KISSED FOR “TWO SENDS” AND THAT WAS ALL—SO HE TRI TO WARN DAPHNE. IN RPONSE, DAPHNE DO THE MOST LCULATG THG SHE N THK OF: SHE LEADS ETHAN OFF TO A SECLUD, ROMANTIC ISLAND AND PRUMABLY SLEEPS WH HIM. GREAT. GRAND. I WAS NEARLY THROWG TOMATO (SAN MARZANO, OF URSE) AT MY TV. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT FIX ETHAN, WHO FALLY HAS SEX WH HARPER JT A FEW HOURS LATER AFTER NYG HER ALL VATN. STEFANO DELIA/HBO OVER TO TANYA (JENNIFER COOLIDGE), WHO IS NOW ANTILLY TRYG TO PE A YACHT FULL OF GAYS WHO ARE TRYG TO MURR HER. (CUE THE ENDLS MEM—IF THERE’S ONE THG WORTH CRICIZG THE WHE LOT FOR, ’S HOW THE L SEEMED PURPOSEFULLY MANUFACTURED FOR TER ENGAGEMENT.) PORTIA (HALEY LU RICHARDSON) ALSO BEGS TO SPECT THAT SHE’S BEEN ABDUCTED, AFTER JACK (LEO WOODALL) WHISKS HER AWAY OVERNIGHT AND KEEPS PROCRASTATG BRGG HER HOME. AFTER SHE DUC THAT HE ALSO MAY HAVE STOLEN HER PHONE, SHE SNEAKS AWAY WH HIS TO LL TANYA.TANYA REVEALS THAT SHE SAW JACK “FUCKG HIS UNCLE,” QUENT (TOM HOLLANR), AND PORTIA TELLS HER WHAT SHE LEARNED OM JACK THE NIGHT BEFORE—THAT QUENT AND THE GAYS MIGHT BE TRYG TO SM HER. TANYA REALIZ THAT HER LIFE IS DANGER, AND THAT SHE HAS TO PE THE MONEY HUNGRY EAKS SOMEHOW. SHE NCLUS THAT QUENT AND HER HBAND GREG (JON GRI) ARE LIKELY WORKG TOGETHER, SCE IF SHE AND GREG DIVORCE, HE ONLY GETS HER MONEY IF SHE’S AD, ACRDG TO THEIR PRENUP.AFTER MOBSTER NICLó BOARDS THE YACHT TO “TAKE HER BACK TO THE HOTEL ON HIS DGHY,” TANYA SPRTS OM DNER AND GRABS HIS SKETCHY BLACK DUFFEL BAG. UNBOXG TIME! THE NTENTS CLU A BLACK ROPE, DUCT TAPE, AND A PISTOL. THEY WERE PLANNG ON KILLG TANYA, WHICH WOULD ED GIVE GREG (AKA QUENT’S BOYTOY “STEVE”) ALL HER MONEY.THE ATHS ARE MAGNIFICENT. JENNIFER COOLIDGE FIR A GUN LIKE NO OTHER HUMAN HAS—EXQUISELY, SHAKG, GEO. THOUGH “THE GAYS, THEY’RE TRYG TO MURR ME” IS STANTLY INIC, I THOUGHT THIS ONE WAS EQUALLY HILAR: “THERE AREN’T ENOUGH PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE WORRIED ABOUT OLD BUILDGS,” TANYA SHOUTS, SO NERVO, WHILE QUENT CHATTERS ON ABOUT HOW HE NEEDS MONEY TO PAY FOR HIS TATE. BUT THE GAYS’ ATHS AREN’T BIG ENOUGH. NO, DOWN GO TANYA. WH THE YACHT LTERED WH THE AD BODI OF EVERYONE SHE JT KILLED, SHE TRI TO PE ON NICLó’S DGHY. BUT SHE HS HER HEAD ON THE SI OF THE BOAT WHEN SHE TRI TO JUMP AND DROWNS. WHILE I DID LOVE THE RETURN OF TANYA THIS WAS A WONRFUL SWAN SONG TO OUR BELOVED PEPPA PIG. SWEET, SWEET TANYA. (NOW, GREG STILL GETS THE MONEY, BEE SHE’S AD! UGH!)PORTIA, MEANWHILE, IS DROPPED ON THE SI OF THE ROAD BY AN AIRPORT BY JACK, WHO BE MENACG AND THREATENG WHEN PORTIA TELLS HIM THAT SHE’S ON TO HIM—AND KNOWS ABOUT THE UNCLE-FUCKG. IT TURNS OUT HE DID STEAL HER PHONE. BACK AT THE WHE LOT HOTEL, WHERE OUR DI GRASSO BOYS HAVE ONE FAL MEAL TOGETHER, ALBIE (ADAM DIMAR) HAS MA A AL WH HIS FATHER. IF DOMIC (MICHAEL IMPERLI) PAYS LUCIA, HIS HOOKER GIRLIEND, THE 50,000 ROS SHE SAID SHE NEEDS TO PE HER PIMP,ALBIE WILL TELL HIS MOTHER THAT HIS FATHER HAS SPENT THE WHOLE TRIP MISSG HER, PERHAPS SALVAGG THEIR RELATNSHIP. ALBIE LLS THIS “KARMIC PAYMENT.”WELL, DOMIC ACQUIC. LUCIA SNAGS A FAT PAYCHECK OM CAMERON, WHO FALLY SETTLED HIS BILL FOR THEIR STEAMY NIGHT TOGETHER, AND DOMIC. EVEN THOUGH ALBIE PLEADS WH HER TO VIS LOS ANGEL, SHE SNEAKS OUT OF HIS HOTEL ROOM AND GHOSTS HIM. EVEN IF THEIR NNECTN WAS REAL AND LUCIA HAD FEELGS FOR HIM, HE WAS STILL A MARK AND SHE PLAYED HIM. MEANWHILE, BTIE MIA SECUR A SGG GIG AT THE WHE LOT AFTER SHE AGRE TO SLEEP WH VALENTA (SABRA IMPACCIATORE)—OR, AT THE VERY LEAST, HELP GET HER LAID. STEFANO DELIA/HBO IN THE END, WE GET TWO BRILLIANT SCEN THAT PROVE LOVE IS REAL! WHILE FLYG BACK HOME, ALBIE NS TO NONE OTHER THAN PORTIA AT THE AIRPORT. ON THE VERGE OF A NERVO BREAKDOWN WONRG WHAT HAPPENED TO TANYA (AND WEARG THE MOST HEO SRF AND SUNGLASS), PORTIA ASKS ALBIE FOR HIS PHONE NUMBER. MAYBE TAKE A BEAT, GUYS. THIS WHOLE DATG THG ISN’T REALLY FOR EHER OF YOU. NEVERTHELS, ’S A MASTERFUL WAY TO WRAP THEIR CHAOTIC ARCS FULL OF SMMG AND CE.FALLY, WE GET TO SEE MIA AND LUCIA TRAIPSG THROUGH SICILIAN STREETS, BLISSFUL AS EVER. GO GET SOME DNER, GIRLS. BUY ALL THE CLOTH EVERY SICILIAN BOUTIQUE YOU N FD. YOU’VE EARNED . UNLIKE THE FIRST SEASON OF THE WHE LOT, WE ACTUALLY GET TO END ON SOME RELIEF FOR THE SERVICE WORKERS OF THE WORLD. FAB LOVO/HBO THE FIVE GUTS WE WANT TO SEE SEASON 3TANYA RETURNED FOR SEASON 2 OF THE WHE LOT. SO, STEAD OF PREDICTG WHO’S GOG TO DIE, WE’RE GOG TO PREDICT WHO’S GOG TO HAVE A NEW LIFE THE NEXT SEASON OF THE SHOW.1. DAPHNE: PLEASE, LORD, GIVE MORE MEGHANN FAHY. NOT ONLY DO SHE SERVE AN EMMY, HER STANDOUT PERFORMANCE ECHO THE REVELATN THAT WAS JENNIFER COOLIDGE SEASON 1. BRG HER BACK—MAYBE ON A SEXY PA WH HER SECRET GYM BOYIEND.2. BERT: F. MURRAY ABRAHAM GAVE ANOTHER GREAT PERFORMANCE THE WHE LOT SEASON 2. BRG BACK THE FARTG. BRG BACK THE WEIRD MENTS ABOUT WOMEN. THIS GUY WAS INIC.3. GREG: ONLY SO WE N SEE HIM DIE.4. ALBIE AND PORTIA: LET’S SEE THEM ON THEIR HONEYMOON! I WANT TO SEE THE LTLE WEIRDOS FLIRTG AT A SKI LODGE OR SOMETHG. WHAT’S TWTER GOG TO LOOK LIKE WHOUT THE DISURSE OVER PORTIA’S DOOF OUTFS?5. MIA AND LUCIA: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. LUCIA SHOULD E HER NEW FORTUNE TO BUY A GETAWAY FOR HERSELF AND MIA. EVEN BETTER: MIA N GET THE WHE LOT IENDS AND FAY DISUNT OM VALENTA. FLETCHER PETERS
Edor's note: this post ntas spoilers for episo five of The Whe Lot season 's givg a weeks-long tease, we fally got a gay sex scene on season two of The Whe Lot. In a classic Whe Lot twist, though, a gay sex scene me om somewhere else entirely. Introduced episo three, wealthy gay man Quent (Tom Hollanr) is at the Whe Lot hotel Sicily wh a group of gay iends.
Though most of them are rich olr gays, there are a few younger men their pany, cludg Jack (Leo Woodall), a charmg and sexy guy om Essex who refers to Quent as his "uncle. Quent's personaly, accent, and tast f the archetypil "proper wealthy Brish gay man, " whereas Jack looks and sounds like a future st member of Love Island.
Sendly, if a rich gay man like Quent were to hire a few younger guys to "enterta" him and his group of iends durg a trip to Sicily, stands to reason that someone like Jack would lie to Portia about Quent beg his uncle, not his "employer. And as expected, the gays are livg. 1670209079The agily, toxicy, and nudy of men have been recurrg them the send season of The Whe Lot, which means that the girls, gays, and theys had been eagerly wag for a full-ontal scene to happen at one pot or another.