When your child has a gay iend | Kids the Hoe

Contents:

• CO-PARENTG WH A GAY FRIEND
• WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS A GAY IEND
• OPEN MENUVIOSHOPWELLNSFOODCULTUREFAYLIVGSTYLETRAVELNEWSBOOK CLUBGMA3: WYNTKNEWSLETTERPRIVACY POLICY — YOUR US STATE PRIVACY RIGHTS — CHILDREN'S ONLE PRIVACY POLICY — INTERT-BASED ADS — TERMS OF USE — DO NOT SELL MY INFO — CONTACT USCOPYRIGHT © 2023 ABC NEWS INTER VENTUR. ALL RIGHTS RERVED.SEARCHSHOP THE BT BACKPACKS FOR BACK TO SCHOOLFAYPARENTGJUNE 21, 2022CO-PARENTG AFTER G OUT: HOW ONE BLEND FAY FOUND A LOVG WAY THROUGH 3:30COURTY JSI FREWFAY SHAR HOW THEY -PARENT AFTER FATHER ME OUT AS GAYBY BECKY WORLEY, KIERAN MCGIRL, ANTHONY MCMAHONSHARE —SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTERS TO GET GMA LIVERED TO YOUR BOX EVERY MORNG!JSI FREW AND STEVE STODDARD WERE ONCE HAPPILY MARRIED BUT TWO YEARS TO THEIR MARRIAGE, STODDARD ME OUT TO FREW AND TOLD HER HE WAS GAY.TODAY, FREW AND STODDARD ARE ON A MISSN TO HELP OTHERS WHO MAY BE NONTG THE SAME ISSU THEY'VE LIVED THROUGH. THEIR "HBAND LAW" PODST, -HOSTED WH FREW'S HBAND, MATT FREW, HIGHLIGHTS THEIR PERSONAL EXPERIENC AND SHOWS HOW THEY'VE TEAMED UP TO MAKE -PARENTG A SUCCS THEIR BLEND FAY.INIALLY, STODDARD SAID HE DIDN'T WANT TO E OUT AND WORRIED ABOUT HOW WOULD AFFECT HIS FAY, AS HE AND FREW HAD A DGHTER NAMED PENNY.COURTY JSI FREWJSI FREW AND STEVE STODDARD DIVORCED AFTER STODDARD ME OUT AS GAY BUT THEY REMA CLOSE IENDS AND -PARENT THEIR DGHTER PENNY TOGETHER."I DIDN'T WANT TO BE GAY AND TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO ADM TO MYSELF AND TO HER THAT, Y, I'M GAY," STODDARD TOLD "GOOD MORNG AMERI" AN TERVIEW WHICH AIRED TUDAY.IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR STODDARD TO E TO TERMS WH HIS INTY, PART, BEE OF HE HAD GROWN UP A RELIG HOEHOLD. HE AND HIS FAY WERE MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH OF J CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SATS, WHICH DON'T REGNIZE SAME-SEX RELATNSHIPS AND MARRIAG.FOR FREW THOUGH, STODDARD'S REVELATN WASN'T A BETRAYAL BUT AN HONT REALIZATN OF WHO HE REALLY WAS.MORE: DIVORCED UPLE SHAR THEIR GUI TO -PARENTGCOURTY JSI FREWFREW AND STODDARD HAVE EMBRACED THEIR BLEND FAY AND CELEBRATE HOLIDAYS AND EVENTS TOGETHER."IT FELT LIKE STEVE EXPLORG AND FIGURG OUT WHO HE WAS," FREW SAID. "AND I MA A VERY CLEAR POT MY HEAD TO NOT LET BEE A THG OF BETRAYAL. I KNEW WASN'T ABOUT ME."IT WASN'T ALL EASY AND SMOOTH SAILG, PECIALLY WHEN FREW AND STODDARD'S MARRIAGE WAS ENDG."THERE WAS A TIME WHERE I WAS NVCED THAT PENNY WOULD BE BETTER OFF WH NO DAD THAN WH A GAY DAD," STODDARD SAID. "AND I REALLY WENT THROUGH A DARK PHASE FOR A UPLE OF YEARS THERE WHERE I WAS SUICIDAL AND REALLY STGGLED WH JT SEEG THE VALUE ME BEG ABLE TO LIVE A NATURAL LIFE THAT I HAD BEEN TGHT WAS SO WRONG AND THAT WAS WORSE THAN ATH SELF."COURTY JSI FREWJSI FREW LLS HER EX-HBAND, STEVE STODDARD, A "IENDAPIST," BOTH A IEND AND A THERAPIST WHO LISTENS AND IS HONT WH HER.FREW AND STODDARD EVENTUALLY DIVORCED; FREW REMARRIED AND STODDARD IS A RELATNSHIP WH HIS BOYIEND. IN THE YEARS SCE THEIR SPL, HOWEVER, FREW HAS NOT ONLY REMAED IENDS WH HER EX-HBAND BUT HAS ALSO SUPPORTED HIS PERSONAL JOURNEY.MORE: HOW 2 MOMS BEME IENDS TO THE BENEF OF THEIR KIDS"I'VE ALWAYS HAD AN NATE GIFT TO JT KD OF LOVE MYSELF AND EMBRACE WHO I WAS CREATED TO BE. AND I FEEL LIKE WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU'RE ABLE TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE DO THAT ALONG THE WAY, TOO, AND REGNIZE THAT THE THGS THEY'RE GOG THROUGH HAVE NOTHG TO DO WH YOU PERSONALLY," FREW SAID.COURTY JSI FREWSCE THEIR DIVORCE, FREW HAS REMARRIED AND STODDARD HAS A BOYIEND. MATTHEW FREW AND STEVE STODDARD NOW WORK TOGETHER WH JSI FREW ON THEIR HBAND LAW PODST.JSI FREW AND STODDARD'S DGHTER, PENNY, SAID 'S ALL JT A REGULAR DAY THEIR BLEND FAY LIFE TOGETHER."IT JT SEEMS NORMAL," SHE TOLD "GMA."SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTERS TO GET GMA LIVERED TO YOUR BOX EVERY MORNG!UP NEXT FAYBABY MONORS RELLED DUE TO BURN RISKS
• INTENTNAL CO-PARENTG FOR GAY MEN EXPLAED
• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
• Y, CO-PARENTG WORKS—THE FAI PROVE ITCO-PARENTG IS A VIABLE OPTN FOR FAY BUILDG WHICH TWO (OR MORE) PARENTS RAISE A CHILD EVEN IF THEY AREN'T ROMANTILLY VOLVED. MANY LGBTQ+ PEOPLE -PARENT TOGETHER AS A WAY TO ENSURE THAT THEIR KID HAS A SAFE AND LOVG ENVIRONMENT TO GROW UP .FERTILYJUNE 14, 2022 .  MIN READTURN ON LERALLY ANY TV SHOW AND YOU’LL SEE HOW FAI ARE PICTED ON SCREEN. MOST QUEER FAI MEDIA ARE TYPILLY SHOWN WH ANY NUMBER OF KIDS PARENTED BY TWO PARTNERS A LOVG RELATNSHIP WH EACH OTHER. EXACTLY AS SOUNDS, PARTNER PARENTG IS WHAT ’S LLED WHEN TWO (OR MORE) PEOPLE WHO ARE A ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIP CI TO RAISE A CHILD TOGETHER. BUT AS CHILDREN OF DIVORCED PARENTS N ATTT, THAT’S NOT THE ONLY PARENTG OPTN AVAILABLE. THAT’S WE’VE PUT TOGETHER THIS EXPLAER ON QUEER FAY BUILDG AND THE OPTN OF -PARENTG. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT -PARENTG, CLUDG EXACTLY HOW N PLAY OUT OM REAL -PARENTS, READ ON.PARENT, DEFEDASK A TRADNAL DICTNARY WHAT ‘PARENT’ MEANS AND YOU’LL GET SERVED A HALF-BAKED FN OF SOMEONE WHO INTIFI AS A MOTHER OR FATHER. BUT THE FNS DON'T DO JTICE TO EHER THE BREADTH OF GENRS WHO N BE PARENTS OR THE PTH OF RE REQUIRED TO PARENT WELL. A BETTER, MORE EXPANSIVE FN JSE KAHN, L.C.S.W., C.S.T., DIRECTOR AND SEX THERAPIST AT THE GENR & SEXUALY THERAPY CENTER NYC. “A PARENT IS ANYONE WHO IS VOLVED RAISG AND RG FOR A CHILD.” THE KEY PHRASE THIS NEW FN? CARG FOR. A WORD THAT SUGGTS ACTIVE LOVG PARTICIPATN A RELATNSHIP. THE IA THAT A PARENT MT RE FOR ANOTHER DIVIDUAL CHALLENG THE NARRATIVE THAT A PARENT IS SIMPLY SOMEONE WHO DONATED GEIC MATERIAL TO MAKE THAT CHILD.TO THAT POT, LET BE KNOWN THAT A PARENT DO NOT HAVE TO BE GEILLY NNECTED WH YOU, SAYS MENTAL HEALTH PROFSNAL KRYSS SHANE, L.S.W., L.M.S.W. AND THOR OF THE EDUTOR'S GUI TO LGBT+ INCLN. PARENT IS A TCH-ALL TERM FOR ANY KD OF PARENT-CHILD RELATNSHIP, WHETHER THEY ARE NNECTED VIA BLOOD, ADOPTN, FOSTERG, TENTN, OR SOMETHG ELSE, SHE SAYS.WHAT IS CO-PARENTG, EXACTLY?“CO-PARENTG REFERS TO THE PHENOMENON OF TWO (OR MORE) PEOPLE SHARG THE RPONSIBILI OF RAISG AND RG FOR A CHILD,” EXPLAS KAHN. WHILE THE PEOPLE WHO -PARENT TOGETHER ULD BE ROMANTILLY AND/OR SEXUALLY VOLVED— OR ULD HAVE BEEN AT ONE POT—BUT THE KEY IS THAT ROMANTIC AND/OR SEXUAL ENTANGLEMENT IS NOT IMPLIED THE FN. SO -PARENTS ULD BE A TRIAD OR POLYAMORO QUAD OR -PARENTS ULD BE DIVIDUALS WH ANY OTHER KD OF NNECTN, TOO. TWO BT IENDS, FOR EXAMPLE, MIGHT MAKE THE CISN TO RAISE CHILDREN TOGETHER (THIS IS SOMETHG KNOWN AS PLATONIC PARENTG).CO-PARENTS ULD ALSO HAVE ONE BLOGIL PARENT AND A SET OF GRANDPARENTS WHO HAVE AGREED TO HELP THE PARENTG RPONSIBILI. CO-PARENTS ULD EVEN BE A LBIAN UPLE AND GAY UPLE WHO HAVE TEAMED UP TO BEE A -PARENTG UN OF FOUR TOGETHER. THE ARE SOME OF THE UNTLS EXAMPL OF THE TYP OF FAY AND PARENTG SET-UPS THAT ARE POSSIBLE OUTSI OF PARTNER-PARENTG. THE NCEPT OF QUEER FAY BUILDG GIV A BETIFUL GIFT—NEW ENDLS WAYS TO REIMAGE THE MEANG OF FAY AND BEG A PARENT.WA, HOW IS CO-PARENTG DIFFERENT FROM PARTNER-PARENTG?THE MA DIFFERENCE IS THAT WHILE PARTNER-PARENTS ARE CURRENTLY ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIP, -PARENTS ARE NOT. OR, AT LEAST, ARE NOT CURRENTLY.  THE PHRASE PARTNER-PARENTG UALLY IMPLI THAT THE PARENTG RPONSIBILI ARE SPL—MORE OR LS—EVEN-STEVEN, ACRDG TO SHANE. BUT THAT IS NOT NECSARILY THE SE FOR -PARENTS. SOME -PARENTS DON’T TEND TO SPL THE PARENTG RPONSIBILI EVENLY, SHE SAYS. FOR STANCE, A LBIAN UPLE MAY TEAM UP WH A GAY UPLE AND E TO THE CISN TO -PARENT AS A UN OF FOUR, BUT PLAN FOR THE CHILD TO LIVE WH JT ONE OF THE UPL WHILE THE OTHER SET OF PARENTS VISS ON WEEKENDS OR HOLIDAYS. ALL THAT SAID, “PARTNER-PARENTG ISN’T UALLY THAT DIFFERENT OM -PARENTG,” ACRDG TO SHANE. “THE [MA DIFFERENCE IS THAT PARTNER]-PARENTS ARE JT ALSO ROMANTIC AND/OR SEXUAL RELATNSHIP PARTNERS WH ONE ANOTHER, SO THEY HAVE MULTIPLE RELATNSHIP DYNAMICS TO NAVIGATE SIMULTANEOLY.”WHAT DO CO-PARENTG LOOK LIKE IRL?BRANDI ANDREWS, A LBIAN WOMAN, -PARENTS WH HER GAY BT IEND LAWRENCE CARROLL. “WE WERE BOTH WORKG AT THE ABBEY OUR MID-TWENTI. I HAD JT GOTTEN OUT OF ANOTHER AD-END RELATNSHIP AND LAWARENCE WAS TALKG ABOUT BEG A PARENT WH ANOTHER ONE OF HIS IENDS,” SHAR ANDREWS. ONE DAY AFTER WORK, THE IENDS WERE TALKG ABOUT THEIR DIVIDUAL SIR TO BEE PARENTS WHEN A MUTUAL IEND SUGGTED THAT THEY HAVE A BABY TOGETHER. 3 YEARS, HOURS OF NVERSATN, A R ACCINT, A REVERY, AND ONE SEMATN K LATER, THEY DID! “THE PLAN WAS FOR TO SHARE A HOME FOR THE FIRST FEW YEARS AND THEN TO EVENTUALLY HAVE SEPARATE HOEHOLDS,” SHE EXPLAS. THE DAYS, THEY LIVE SEPARATELY BUT STILL SHARE THE PARENTG RPONSIBILI. “I LIVE THE APARTMENT RIGHT NEXT TO LAWRENCE WH MY GIRLIEND, WHICH ALLOWS OUR SON (WHO IS NOW FOUR YEARS OLD) TO E AND GO BETWEEN THE TWO HOM EELY.” LRA BOYLE'S -PARENTG SUATN IS PRETTY DIFFERENT OM ANDREW’S. BOYLE -PARENTS ALONGSI MEGAN AND BRIAN, WHO SHE WAS PREVLY A HABG V-SHAPE RELATNSHIP — THAT’S A RELATNSHIP MA UP OF THREE PEOPLE WHERE TWO OF THE PEOPLE ARE DATG THE SAME THIRD PERSON, BUT NOT EACH OTHER. THE THREE BEGAN THEIR -PARENTG JOURNEY WHEN THEY WERE ALL LIVG TOGETHER AND HAD TWO KIDS TOGETHER. “THE V-RELATNSHIP END (DUE TO REASONS UNRELATED TO THE PARENTG), SO I MOVED OUT AND NOW OUR FAY LOOKS SIAR TO ANY DIVORCED PARENT SUATN,” BOYLE EXPLAS. “THE KIDS SPL THEIR TIME EVENLY BETWEEN THE TWO HO, BUT THE THREE OF STILL RAISE OUR KIDS AS -PARENTS,” SHE SAYS.THE BENEFS OF CO-PARENTGTHE MA BENEF OF -PARENTG IS THAT THEIR KIDS ARE LOVED AND LOVED WELL BY MULTIPLE PEOPLE. “IN GENERAL, ’S GOOD FOR KIDS TO HAVE PEOPLE THEIR LIV WHO LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM, AND MY KIDS HAVE MANY OF THOSE PEOPLE [AS A RULT OF OUR PARENTG STCTURE],” SAYS BOYLE. INED, BEE BOYLE AND HER -PARENTS ARE POLYAMORO, THE KIDS HAVE ACCS NOT ONLY TO THEM, BUT TO OTHER ADULTS MTED TO THEIR GROWTH AND RE, TOO. “OUR KIDS HAVE TWO HOM AND THE ADDNAL SUPPORT SYSTEM IS EXTEND FAY OR MEMBERS OF THE POLYCULE, WHO ARE VERY LOVG,” SHE SAYS.  ANDREW AGRE THAT THE AMOUNT OF ADULT LOVE AVAILABLE TO HER SON. HE GETS ACCS TO TWO -PARENTS AND A BON PARENT (HER GIRLIEND) WHO LOV HIM SO, SHE SAYS.  *WIP HAPPY TEAR*. FOR SOME -PARENTG UNS, THERE MAY BE A FANCIAL BENEF. “KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE, AND THOSE EXPENS ARE STILL GOG TO BE THERE IF THE KID HAS MULTIPLE LOVG ADULTS THEIR LIFE,” SAYS ANDREW. BUT, -PARENTG FAI WH MULTIPLE E-GENERATG ADULTS MAY EXPERIENCE SOME RELIEF DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE FANCIAL BURN IS BEG SHARED BY MULTIPLE PEOPLE.HOW TO FIGURE OUT IF CO-PARENTG MAK SENSE FOR YOUFIRST, YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU WANT TO BE A PARENT AT ALL! AND THAT PROCS OBVLY REQUIR SOME TROSPECTN. SOME QUTNS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE BEG A PARENT CLU:DO I WANT TO BEE A PARENT? WHY OR WHY NOT? IS THERE ANOTHER ROLE I ULD TAKE A CHILD’S LIFE THAT WOULD FEEL EQUALLY FULFILLG? HOW LONG HAVE I FELT THIS WAY? LET’S ASSUME YOUR ANSWERS TO THE ABOVE QUTNS LEAD YOU TO THE VERDICT THAT YOU DO WANT TO BE A PARENT. CONGRATULATNS! THAT’S A B-I-G CISN YOU JT ME, TOO! BUT ’S FAR OM THE ONLY ONE CISN YOU NEED TO MAKE. NEXT, YOU’LL NEED TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU WANT TO EMBARK ON THAT JOURNEY SOLO OR WH ANOTHER PERSON (OR GROUP OF PEOPLE!). IF YOU WANT TO CLU OTHER PEOPLE YOUR PARENTG JOURNEY, YOU’LL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO.THE ARE SOME QUTNS N HELP YOU THK THROUGH WHO YOU MIGHT PARENT WH: AM I OPEN TO PARENTG ON MY OWN? IS THERE CURRENTLY ANYONE MY LIFE I ULD SEE MYSELF PARENTG WH NOW, AND ALSO 20 YEARS OM NOW? HOW WOULD CHOOSG TO BEE A PARENT IMPACT MY CURRENT ROMANTIC AND/OR SEXUAL PARTNERSHIPS? WHAT SUPPORT SYSTEM(S) DO I HAVE PLACE TO SUPPORT ME ON MY PARENTG JOURNEY? CAN I AFFORD THE FERTILY AND/OR ADOPTN PROCS? HOW ARE MY PERSONAL FANC, GENERAL?CONVERSATNS TO HAVE WH POTENTIAL CO-PARENTSIF YOU ARE GOG TO PARENT WH OTHER PEOPLE, THEN THERE ARE A NUMBER OF NVERSATNS YOU NEED TO HAVE. “HAVE THE NVERSATNS AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE BEFORE STARTG YOUR PARENTG JOURNEY,” SUGGTS BOYLE, WHO SAYS THE THGS THAT SHE AND HER -PARENTS DIDN’T TALK ABOUT ARE THE THGS THAT END UP TRIPPG THEM UP. “YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU UNRSTAND ONE ANOTHER’S RELIG, SOCIAL, AND POLIL VALU, AS ALL OF THE VALU WILL IMPACT HOW YOU CHOOSE TO RAISE CHILDREN,” SHANE SAYS. HAVG SHARED VALU MON IS IMPORTANT FOR -PARENTG OR PARTNER-PARENTG BEE ALLOWS PARENTS TO PRENT A UNED MSAGE. IF YOU ARE NOT PERFECTLY ALIGNED THE REALMS, THAT’S OKAY.  BUT YOU WILL NEED TO S DOWN AND HAVE MORE -PTH NVERSATNS ABOUT WHAT VALU YOU’LL BE WORKG TOGETHER TO ACTIVELY STILL YOUR KIDS. “IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO REFLECT ON THEIR OWN CHILDHOODS AND SHARE SOME OF THOSE EXPERIENC WH THEIR (POTENTIAL) -PARENTS,” SAYS SHANE. THIS MEANS THKG THROUGH WHAT GENR ROL YOUR OWN PARENTS MAY HAVE EXHIBED YOUR CHILDHOOD, SO YOU N TERME WHAT ROLE GENR WILL PLAY YOUR PARENTG (IF ANY). IT ALSO MEANS THKG THROUGH WHAT OTHER ADULTS AND BELIEF SYSTEMS YOU WILL WANT TO VE TO YOUR FAY’S LIFE REGULARLY.“IT ALSO MEANS THKG ABOUT WHAT CHILDHOOD TRMA MIGHT REAR THEIR DIRTY HEADS YOUR OWN PARENTG JOURNEY,” SAYS ANDREWS. “YOU REALLY WANT TO THK ABOUT YOUR PAST TRMAS AND YOUR -PARENTS PAST TRMAS ARE GOG TO TERACT, AND HOW THAT ULD IMPACT YOUR CHILD,” SHE SAYS. THERAPY IS AN EXTRAORDARILY EFUL TOOL FOR THIS, NOT SHANE. “THE MORE OF OUR OWN TERNAL WORK WE HAVE DONE TO BE AS HEALTHY AS POSSIBLE, THE BETTER EACH OF IS AS A PARENT AND A -PARENT,” SHE SAYS. FALLY, YOU’LL NEED TO NSIR WHAT LEGAL AGREEMENTS YOU’RE GOG TO HAVE MA. THE LAW ISN’T BUILT TO SUPPORT NON-NUCLEAR FAI, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED TO BE REALLY TENTNAL WH WHAT YOU WANT YOUR PARENTG RIGHTS TO BE. ANDREWS AND HER -PARENT, FOR EXAMPLE, HAVE THEIR OWN WRTEN PARENTAL AGREEMENT THAT IS NOTARIZED BY THE URT.WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE ABOUT QUEER PARENTG?THIS ARTICLE IS A GOOD FIRST STEP THKG THROUGH WHAT YOUR QUEER PARENTG JOURNEY MIGHT LOOK LIKE. BUT CHANC ARE YOU STILL HAVE QUTNS! UNFORTUNATELY, “THERE AREN’T A TON OF ROURC OUT THERE FOR -PARENTS, PECIALLY FOR QUEER -PARENTS,” SAYS ANDREWS. BUT THERE ARE SOME ROURC AVAILABLE ABOUT QUEER PARENTG, CLUDG THE FOLLOWG:  GAYT SHOW ON BIRTH PODSTIF THE OVARI COULD TALK PODSTTHE NEW FAY PODSTDADDY SQUARED PODSTWHE TEETH: A NOVEL BY KRISTEN ART DETRANSN, BABY: A NOVEL BY TORREY PETERSTHE NATURAL MOTHER OF THE CHILD BY KRYS MALLM BLECRAD FAI: A CELEBRATN EDED BY TOMAS MONIZTHE ARGONTS BY MAGGIE NELSONDO THIS BABY MAKE ME LOOK STRAIGHT: CONFSNS OF A GAY DAD BY DAN BUTSKYWHO’S YOUR DADDY AND OTHER WRGS ON QUEER PARENTG EDED BY RACHEL EPSTETHE TAKEAWAY“WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO ME IS THAT PEOPLE UNRSTAND THAT -PARENTG ACTUALLY WORKS,” SAYS BOYLE. AND DON’T JT WORK, N WORK WELL!CO-PARENTG MIGHT NOT BE  THE RDS FOR YOU, THAT’S ALSO OKAY. THERE ARE MANY, MANY DIFFERENT WAYS FOR LGBTQ+ PEOPLE TO RAISE CHILDREN, SO LONG AS WE ALLOW OURSELV TO IMAGE BEYOND THE PARENTG MOLS MOST VISIBLE TO . AS SHANE PUTS , “WHEN QUEER PEOPLE ALLOW THEMSELV TO EXPAND THE FN(S) OF PARENTG, THEY’RE ABLE TO EMBODY THEIR ROLE(S) THENTILLY, RATHER THAN TRYG TO CRAM THEMSELV TO A BOX.” AND WHILE EMBRACG -PARENTG IS ONE WAY TO DO JT THAT, ’S NOT THE ONLY WAY. RELATED ARTICLVIEW ALL POSTSFERTILYASK A CLICIAN: CAN YOU VAPE ON BIRTH NTROL? AUGT 1, 2023 . 2 MIN READFERTILYQUEER AND TRANSGENR FERTILY 101JANUARY 1, 2023 . 7 MIN READFERTILYLGBTQ+ FERTILY TREATMENTS 101DECEMBER 13, 2022 . 5 MIN READSIGN UP TO STAY UP TO DATE ON LGBTQIA+ HEALTHRE
• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

CO-PARENTG WH A GAY FRIEND

”In a world where blogil science and equal rights have diversified ways to start a fay, platonic -parentg – the cisn to have a child wh someone you are not romantilly volved wh and, most s, choose not to live wh – remas a relatively new tablished gay muni, along wh egg and sperm donatn, is on the rise among heterosexual sgl. 3:30Courty Jsi FrewFay shar how they -parent after father me out as gayJsi Frew and Steve Stoddard were once happily married but two years to their marriage, Stoddard me out to Frew and told her he was, Frew and Stoddard are on a missn to help others who may be nontg the same issu they've lived through. "I didn't want to be gay and took me a long time to adm to myself and to her that, y, I'm gay, " Stoddard told "Good Morng Ameri" an terview which aired was difficult for Stoddard to e to terms wh his inty, part, bee of he had grown up a relig hoehold.

The prev edn, which was tled Lbian and Gay Parentg: A Rource for Psychologists (1995) was the succsor to a publitn tled Lbian Parents and Their Children: A Rource Paper for Psychologists that was jotly produced by CLGBC and CWP 1991. Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002). As wh beliefs about other socially stigmatized groups, the beliefs held generally society about lbians and gay men are often not based personal experience, but are equently culturally transmted (Herek, 1995; Gillis, 1998).

WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS A GAY IEND

Systematic rearch on the children of lbian and gay parents began to appear major profsnal journals the late 1970s and has grown to a nsirable body of rearch only recent years (Allen & Demo, 1995; Patterson, 1992, 2000). As this summary will show, the rults of existg rearch parg lbian and gay parents to heterosexual parents and children of lbian and gay parents to children of heterosexual parents are que clear: Common stereotyp are not supported by the data.

The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups. Other cricisms have been that most studi have been based on relatively small sampl, that there have been difficulti wh asssment procr employed some studi, and that the classifitn of parents as lbian, gay, or heterosexual has been problematic. An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:.

The children raised by gay and lbian parents experienced unually high levels of extreme social ostracism and overt hostily om other children and parents, which probably acunted for the former's lower levels of teractn and social tegratn wh peers (see pp.

OPEN MENUVIOSHOPWELLNSFOODCULTUREFAYLIVGSTYLETRAVELNEWSBOOK CLUBGMA3: WYNTKNEWSLETTERPRIVACY POLICY — YOUR US STATE PRIVACY RIGHTS — CHILDREN'S ONLE PRIVACY POLICY — INTERT-BASED ADS — TERMS OF USE — DO NOT SELL MY INFO — CONTACT USCOPYRIGHT © 2023 ABC NEWS INTER VENTUR. ALL RIGHTS RERVED.SEARCHSHOP THE BT BACKPACKS FOR BACK TO SCHOOLFAYPARENTGJUNE 21, 2022CO-PARENTG AFTER G OUT: HOW ONE BLEND FAY FOUND A LOVG WAY THROUGH 3:30COURTY JSI FREWFAY SHAR HOW THEY -PARENT AFTER FATHER ME OUT AS GAYBY BECKY WORLEY, KIERAN MCGIRL, ANTHONY MCMAHONSHARE —SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTERS TO GET GMA LIVERED TO YOUR BOX EVERY MORNG!JSI FREW AND STEVE STODDARD WERE ONCE HAPPILY MARRIED BUT TWO YEARS TO THEIR MARRIAGE, STODDARD ME OUT TO FREW AND TOLD HER HE WAS GAY.TODAY, FREW AND STODDARD ARE ON A MISSN TO HELP OTHERS WHO MAY BE NONTG THE SAME ISSU THEY'VE LIVED THROUGH. THEIR "HBAND LAW" PODST, -HOSTED WH FREW'S HBAND, MATT FREW, HIGHLIGHTS THEIR PERSONAL EXPERIENC AND SHOWS HOW THEY'VE TEAMED UP TO MAKE -PARENTG A SUCCS THEIR BLEND FAY.INIALLY, STODDARD SAID HE DIDN'T WANT TO E OUT AND WORRIED ABOUT HOW WOULD AFFECT HIS FAY, AS HE AND FREW HAD A DGHTER NAMED PENNY.COURTY JSI FREWJSI FREW AND STEVE STODDARD DIVORCED AFTER STODDARD ME OUT AS GAY BUT THEY REMA CLOSE IENDS AND -PARENT THEIR DGHTER PENNY TOGETHER."I DIDN'T WANT TO BE GAY AND TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO ADM TO MYSELF AND TO HER THAT, Y, I'M GAY," STODDARD TOLD "GOOD MORNG AMERI" AN TERVIEW WHICH AIRED TUDAY.IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR STODDARD TO E TO TERMS WH HIS INTY, PART, BEE OF HE HAD GROWN UP A RELIG HOEHOLD. HE AND HIS FAY WERE MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH OF J CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SATS, WHICH DON'T REGNIZE SAME-SEX RELATNSHIPS AND MARRIAG.FOR FREW THOUGH, STODDARD'S REVELATN WASN'T A BETRAYAL BUT AN HONT REALIZATN OF WHO HE REALLY WAS.MORE: DIVORCED UPLE SHAR THEIR GUI TO -PARENTGCOURTY JSI FREWFREW AND STODDARD HAVE EMBRACED THEIR BLEND FAY AND CELEBRATE HOLIDAYS AND EVENTS TOGETHER."IT FELT LIKE STEVE EXPLORG AND FIGURG OUT WHO HE WAS," FREW SAID. "AND I MA A VERY CLEAR POT MY HEAD TO NOT LET BEE A THG OF BETRAYAL. I KNEW WASN'T ABOUT ME."IT WASN'T ALL EASY AND SMOOTH SAILG, PECIALLY WHEN FREW AND STODDARD'S MARRIAGE WAS ENDG."THERE WAS A TIME WHERE I WAS NVCED THAT PENNY WOULD BE BETTER OFF WH NO DAD THAN WH A GAY DAD," STODDARD SAID. "AND I REALLY WENT THROUGH A DARK PHASE FOR A UPLE OF YEARS THERE WHERE I WAS SUICIDAL AND REALLY STGGLED WH JT SEEG THE VALUE ME BEG ABLE TO LIVE A NATURAL LIFE THAT I HAD BEEN TGHT WAS SO WRONG AND THAT WAS WORSE THAN ATH SELF."COURTY JSI FREWJSI FREW LLS HER EX-HBAND, STEVE STODDARD, A "IENDAPIST," BOTH A IEND AND A THERAPIST WHO LISTENS AND IS HONT WH HER.FREW AND STODDARD EVENTUALLY DIVORCED; FREW REMARRIED AND STODDARD IS A RELATNSHIP WH HIS BOYIEND. IN THE YEARS SCE THEIR SPL, HOWEVER, FREW HAS NOT ONLY REMAED IENDS WH HER EX-HBAND BUT HAS ALSO SUPPORTED HIS PERSONAL JOURNEY.MORE: HOW 2 MOMS BEME IENDS TO THE BENEF OF THEIR KIDS"I'VE ALWAYS HAD AN NATE GIFT TO JT KD OF LOVE MYSELF AND EMBRACE WHO I WAS CREATED TO BE. AND I FEEL LIKE WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU'RE ABLE TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE DO THAT ALONG THE WAY, TOO, AND REGNIZE THAT THE THGS THEY'RE GOG THROUGH HAVE NOTHG TO DO WH YOU PERSONALLY," FREW SAID.COURTY JSI FREWSCE THEIR DIVORCE, FREW HAS REMARRIED AND STODDARD HAS A BOYIEND. MATTHEW FREW AND STEVE STODDARD NOW WORK TOGETHER WH JSI FREW ON THEIR HBAND LAW PODST.JSI FREW AND STODDARD'S DGHTER, PENNY, SAID 'S ALL JT A REGULAR DAY THEIR BLEND FAY LIFE TOGETHER."IT JT SEEMS NORMAL," SHE TOLD "GMA."SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTERS TO GET GMA LIVERED TO YOUR BOX EVERY MORNG!UP NEXT FAYBABY MONORS RELLED DUE TO BURN RISKS

Most or all of the children beg raised by gay and lbian parents, but not the children beg raised by heterosexual married parents, had experienced parental divorce, which is known to rrelate wh poor adjtment and amic performance. Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children.

INTENTNAL CO-PARENTG FOR GAY MEN EXPLAED

Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). Many years ago, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn removed "homosexualy" om s list of mental disorrs, statg that "homosexualy per se impli no impairment judgment, stabily, reliabily, or general social or votnal pabili" (Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, 1974). In 1975, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn took the same posn and urged all mental health profsnals to help dispel the stigma of mental illns that had long been associated wh homosexual orientatn (Amerin Psychologil Associatn, 1975).

The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980).

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980).

Beliefs that lbian and gay adults are not f parents likewise have no empiril foundatn (Anrssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995). A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002).

Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991).

Y, CO-PARENTG WORKS—THE FAI PROVE ITCO-PARENTG IS A VIABLE OPTN FOR FAY BUILDG WHICH TWO (OR MORE) PARENTS RAISE A CHILD EVEN IF THEY AREN'T ROMANTILLY VOLVED. MANY LGBTQ+ PEOPLE -PARENT TOGETHER AS A WAY TO ENSURE THAT THEIR KID HAS A SAFE AND LOVG ENVIRONMENT TO GROW UP .FERTILYJUNE 14, 2022 .  MIN READTURN ON LERALLY ANY TV SHOW AND YOU’LL SEE HOW FAI ARE PICTED ON SCREEN. MOST QUEER FAI MEDIA ARE TYPILLY SHOWN WH ANY NUMBER OF KIDS PARENTED BY TWO PARTNERS A LOVG RELATNSHIP WH EACH OTHER. EXACTLY AS SOUNDS, PARTNER PARENTG IS WHAT ’S LLED WHEN TWO (OR MORE) PEOPLE WHO ARE A ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIP CI TO RAISE A CHILD TOGETHER. BUT AS CHILDREN OF DIVORCED PARENTS N ATTT, THAT’S NOT THE ONLY PARENTG OPTN AVAILABLE. THAT’S WE’VE PUT TOGETHER THIS EXPLAER ON QUEER FAY BUILDG AND THE OPTN OF -PARENTG. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT -PARENTG, CLUDG EXACTLY HOW N PLAY OUT OM REAL -PARENTS, READ ON.PARENT, DEFEDASK A TRADNAL DICTNARY WHAT ‘PARENT’ MEANS AND YOU’LL GET SERVED A HALF-BAKED FN OF SOMEONE WHO INTIFI AS A MOTHER OR FATHER. BUT THE FNS DON'T DO JTICE TO EHER THE BREADTH OF GENRS WHO N BE PARENTS OR THE PTH OF RE REQUIRED TO PARENT WELL. A BETTER, MORE EXPANSIVE FN JSE KAHN, L.C.S.W., C.S.T., DIRECTOR AND SEX THERAPIST AT THE GENR & SEXUALY THERAPY CENTER NYC. “A PARENT IS ANYONE WHO IS VOLVED RAISG AND RG FOR A CHILD.” THE KEY PHRASE THIS NEW FN? CARG FOR. A WORD THAT SUGGTS ACTIVE LOVG PARTICIPATN A RELATNSHIP. THE IA THAT A PARENT MT RE FOR ANOTHER DIVIDUAL CHALLENG THE NARRATIVE THAT A PARENT IS SIMPLY SOMEONE WHO DONATED GEIC MATERIAL TO MAKE THAT CHILD.TO THAT POT, LET BE KNOWN THAT A PARENT DO NOT HAVE TO BE GEILLY NNECTED WH YOU, SAYS MENTAL HEALTH PROFSNAL KRYSS SHANE, L.S.W., L.M.S.W. AND THOR OF THE EDUTOR'S GUI TO LGBT+ INCLN. PARENT IS A TCH-ALL TERM FOR ANY KD OF PARENT-CHILD RELATNSHIP, WHETHER THEY ARE NNECTED VIA BLOOD, ADOPTN, FOSTERG, TENTN, OR SOMETHG ELSE, SHE SAYS.WHAT IS CO-PARENTG, EXACTLY?“CO-PARENTG REFERS TO THE PHENOMENON OF TWO (OR MORE) PEOPLE SHARG THE RPONSIBILI OF RAISG AND RG FOR A CHILD,” EXPLAS KAHN. WHILE THE PEOPLE WHO -PARENT TOGETHER ULD BE ROMANTILLY AND/OR SEXUALLY VOLVED— OR ULD HAVE BEEN AT ONE POT—BUT THE KEY IS THAT ROMANTIC AND/OR SEXUAL ENTANGLEMENT IS NOT IMPLIED THE FN. SO -PARENTS ULD BE A TRIAD OR POLYAMORO QUAD OR -PARENTS ULD BE DIVIDUALS WH ANY OTHER KD OF NNECTN, TOO. TWO BT IENDS, FOR EXAMPLE, MIGHT MAKE THE CISN TO RAISE CHILDREN TOGETHER (THIS IS SOMETHG KNOWN AS PLATONIC PARENTG).CO-PARENTS ULD ALSO HAVE ONE BLOGIL PARENT AND A SET OF GRANDPARENTS WHO HAVE AGREED TO HELP THE PARENTG RPONSIBILI. CO-PARENTS ULD EVEN BE A LBIAN UPLE AND GAY UPLE WHO HAVE TEAMED UP TO BEE A -PARENTG UN OF FOUR TOGETHER. THE ARE SOME OF THE UNTLS EXAMPL OF THE TYP OF FAY AND PARENTG SET-UPS THAT ARE POSSIBLE OUTSI OF PARTNER-PARENTG. THE NCEPT OF QUEER FAY BUILDG GIV A BETIFUL GIFT—NEW ENDLS WAYS TO REIMAGE THE MEANG OF FAY AND BEG A PARENT.WA, HOW IS CO-PARENTG DIFFERENT FROM PARTNER-PARENTG?THE MA DIFFERENCE IS THAT WHILE PARTNER-PARENTS ARE CURRENTLY ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIP, -PARENTS ARE NOT. OR, AT LEAST, ARE NOT CURRENTLY.  THE PHRASE PARTNER-PARENTG UALLY IMPLI THAT THE PARENTG RPONSIBILI ARE SPL—MORE OR LS—EVEN-STEVEN, ACRDG TO SHANE. BUT THAT IS NOT NECSARILY THE SE FOR -PARENTS. SOME -PARENTS DON’T TEND TO SPL THE PARENTG RPONSIBILI EVENLY, SHE SAYS. FOR STANCE, A LBIAN UPLE MAY TEAM UP WH A GAY UPLE AND E TO THE CISN TO -PARENT AS A UN OF FOUR, BUT PLAN FOR THE CHILD TO LIVE WH JT ONE OF THE UPL WHILE THE OTHER SET OF PARENTS VISS ON WEEKENDS OR HOLIDAYS. ALL THAT SAID, “PARTNER-PARENTG ISN’T UALLY THAT DIFFERENT OM -PARENTG,” ACRDG TO SHANE. “THE [MA DIFFERENCE IS THAT PARTNER]-PARENTS ARE JT ALSO ROMANTIC AND/OR SEXUAL RELATNSHIP PARTNERS WH ONE ANOTHER, SO THEY HAVE MULTIPLE RELATNSHIP DYNAMICS TO NAVIGATE SIMULTANEOLY.”WHAT DO CO-PARENTG LOOK LIKE IRL?BRANDI ANDREWS, A LBIAN WOMAN, -PARENTS WH HER GAY BT IEND LAWRENCE CARROLL. “WE WERE BOTH WORKG AT THE ABBEY OUR MID-TWENTI. I HAD JT GOTTEN OUT OF ANOTHER AD-END RELATNSHIP AND LAWARENCE WAS TALKG ABOUT BEG A PARENT WH ANOTHER ONE OF HIS IENDS,” SHAR ANDREWS. ONE DAY AFTER WORK, THE IENDS WERE TALKG ABOUT THEIR DIVIDUAL SIR TO BEE PARENTS WHEN A MUTUAL IEND SUGGTED THAT THEY HAVE A BABY TOGETHER. 3 YEARS, HOURS OF NVERSATN, A R ACCINT, A REVERY, AND ONE SEMATN K LATER, THEY DID! “THE PLAN WAS FOR TO SHARE A HOME FOR THE FIRST FEW YEARS AND THEN TO EVENTUALLY HAVE SEPARATE HOEHOLDS,” SHE EXPLAS. THE DAYS, THEY LIVE SEPARATELY BUT STILL SHARE THE PARENTG RPONSIBILI. “I LIVE THE APARTMENT RIGHT NEXT TO LAWRENCE WH MY GIRLIEND, WHICH ALLOWS OUR SON (WHO IS NOW FOUR YEARS OLD) TO E AND GO BETWEEN THE TWO HOM EELY.” LRA BOYLE'S -PARENTG SUATN IS PRETTY DIFFERENT OM ANDREW’S. BOYLE -PARENTS ALONGSI MEGAN AND BRIAN, WHO SHE WAS PREVLY A HABG V-SHAPE RELATNSHIP — THAT’S A RELATNSHIP MA UP OF THREE PEOPLE WHERE TWO OF THE PEOPLE ARE DATG THE SAME THIRD PERSON, BUT NOT EACH OTHER. THE THREE BEGAN THEIR -PARENTG JOURNEY WHEN THEY WERE ALL LIVG TOGETHER AND HAD TWO KIDS TOGETHER. “THE V-RELATNSHIP END (DUE TO REASONS UNRELATED TO THE PARENTG), SO I MOVED OUT AND NOW OUR FAY LOOKS SIAR TO ANY DIVORCED PARENT SUATN,” BOYLE EXPLAS. “THE KIDS SPL THEIR TIME EVENLY BETWEEN THE TWO HO, BUT THE THREE OF STILL RAISE OUR KIDS AS -PARENTS,” SHE SAYS.THE BENEFS OF CO-PARENTGTHE MA BENEF OF -PARENTG IS THAT THEIR KIDS ARE LOVED AND LOVED WELL BY MULTIPLE PEOPLE. “IN GENERAL, ’S GOOD FOR KIDS TO HAVE PEOPLE THEIR LIV WHO LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM, AND MY KIDS HAVE MANY OF THOSE PEOPLE [AS A RULT OF OUR PARENTG STCTURE],” SAYS BOYLE. INED, BEE BOYLE AND HER -PARENTS ARE POLYAMORO, THE KIDS HAVE ACCS NOT ONLY TO THEM, BUT TO OTHER ADULTS MTED TO THEIR GROWTH AND RE, TOO. “OUR KIDS HAVE TWO HOM AND THE ADDNAL SUPPORT SYSTEM IS EXTEND FAY OR MEMBERS OF THE POLYCULE, WHO ARE VERY LOVG,” SHE SAYS.  ANDREW AGRE THAT THE AMOUNT OF ADULT LOVE AVAILABLE TO HER SON. HE GETS ACCS TO TWO -PARENTS AND A BON PARENT (HER GIRLIEND) WHO LOV HIM SO, SHE SAYS.  *WIP HAPPY TEAR*. FOR SOME -PARENTG UNS, THERE MAY BE A FANCIAL BENEF. “KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE, AND THOSE EXPENS ARE STILL GOG TO BE THERE IF THE KID HAS MULTIPLE LOVG ADULTS THEIR LIFE,” SAYS ANDREW. BUT, -PARENTG FAI WH MULTIPLE E-GENERATG ADULTS MAY EXPERIENCE SOME RELIEF DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE FANCIAL BURN IS BEG SHARED BY MULTIPLE PEOPLE.HOW TO FIGURE OUT IF CO-PARENTG MAK SENSE FOR YOUFIRST, YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU WANT TO BE A PARENT AT ALL! AND THAT PROCS OBVLY REQUIR SOME TROSPECTN. SOME QUTNS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE BEG A PARENT CLU:DO I WANT TO BEE A PARENT? WHY OR WHY NOT? IS THERE ANOTHER ROLE I ULD TAKE A CHILD’S LIFE THAT WOULD FEEL EQUALLY FULFILLG? HOW LONG HAVE I FELT THIS WAY? LET’S ASSUME YOUR ANSWERS TO THE ABOVE QUTNS LEAD YOU TO THE VERDICT THAT YOU DO WANT TO BE A PARENT. CONGRATULATNS! THAT’S A B-I-G CISN YOU JT ME, TOO! BUT ’S FAR OM THE ONLY ONE CISN YOU NEED TO MAKE. NEXT, YOU’LL NEED TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU WANT TO EMBARK ON THAT JOURNEY SOLO OR WH ANOTHER PERSON (OR GROUP OF PEOPLE!). IF YOU WANT TO CLU OTHER PEOPLE YOUR PARENTG JOURNEY, YOU’LL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO.THE ARE SOME QUTNS N HELP YOU THK THROUGH WHO YOU MIGHT PARENT WH: AM I OPEN TO PARENTG ON MY OWN? IS THERE CURRENTLY ANYONE MY LIFE I ULD SEE MYSELF PARENTG WH NOW, AND ALSO 20 YEARS OM NOW? HOW WOULD CHOOSG TO BEE A PARENT IMPACT MY CURRENT ROMANTIC AND/OR SEXUAL PARTNERSHIPS? WHAT SUPPORT SYSTEM(S) DO I HAVE PLACE TO SUPPORT ME ON MY PARENTG JOURNEY? CAN I AFFORD THE FERTILY AND/OR ADOPTN PROCS? HOW ARE MY PERSONAL FANC, GENERAL?CONVERSATNS TO HAVE WH POTENTIAL CO-PARENTSIF YOU ARE GOG TO PARENT WH OTHER PEOPLE, THEN THERE ARE A NUMBER OF NVERSATNS YOU NEED TO HAVE. “HAVE THE NVERSATNS AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE BEFORE STARTG YOUR PARENTG JOURNEY,” SUGGTS BOYLE, WHO SAYS THE THGS THAT SHE AND HER -PARENTS DIDN’T TALK ABOUT ARE THE THGS THAT END UP TRIPPG THEM UP. “YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU UNRSTAND ONE ANOTHER’S RELIG, SOCIAL, AND POLIL VALU, AS ALL OF THE VALU WILL IMPACT HOW YOU CHOOSE TO RAISE CHILDREN,” SHANE SAYS. HAVG SHARED VALU MON IS IMPORTANT FOR -PARENTG OR PARTNER-PARENTG BEE ALLOWS PARENTS TO PRENT A UNED MSAGE. IF YOU ARE NOT PERFECTLY ALIGNED THE REALMS, THAT’S OKAY.  BUT YOU WILL NEED TO S DOWN AND HAVE MORE -PTH NVERSATNS ABOUT WHAT VALU YOU’LL BE WORKG TOGETHER TO ACTIVELY STILL YOUR KIDS. “IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO REFLECT ON THEIR OWN CHILDHOODS AND SHARE SOME OF THOSE EXPERIENC WH THEIR (POTENTIAL) -PARENTS,” SAYS SHANE. THIS MEANS THKG THROUGH WHAT GENR ROL YOUR OWN PARENTS MAY HAVE EXHIBED YOUR CHILDHOOD, SO YOU N TERME WHAT ROLE GENR WILL PLAY YOUR PARENTG (IF ANY). IT ALSO MEANS THKG THROUGH WHAT OTHER ADULTS AND BELIEF SYSTEMS YOU WILL WANT TO VE TO YOUR FAY’S LIFE REGULARLY.“IT ALSO MEANS THKG ABOUT WHAT CHILDHOOD TRMA MIGHT REAR THEIR DIRTY HEADS YOUR OWN PARENTG JOURNEY,” SAYS ANDREWS. “YOU REALLY WANT TO THK ABOUT YOUR PAST TRMAS AND YOUR -PARENTS PAST TRMAS ARE GOG TO TERACT, AND HOW THAT ULD IMPACT YOUR CHILD,” SHE SAYS. THERAPY IS AN EXTRAORDARILY EFUL TOOL FOR THIS, NOT SHANE. “THE MORE OF OUR OWN TERNAL WORK WE HAVE DONE TO BE AS HEALTHY AS POSSIBLE, THE BETTER EACH OF IS AS A PARENT AND A -PARENT,” SHE SAYS. FALLY, YOU’LL NEED TO NSIR WHAT LEGAL AGREEMENTS YOU’RE GOG TO HAVE MA. THE LAW ISN’T BUILT TO SUPPORT NON-NUCLEAR FAI, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED TO BE REALLY TENTNAL WH WHAT YOU WANT YOUR PARENTG RIGHTS TO BE. ANDREWS AND HER -PARENT, FOR EXAMPLE, HAVE THEIR OWN WRTEN PARENTAL AGREEMENT THAT IS NOTARIZED BY THE URT.WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE ABOUT QUEER PARENTG?THIS ARTICLE IS A GOOD FIRST STEP THKG THROUGH WHAT YOUR QUEER PARENTG JOURNEY MIGHT LOOK LIKE. BUT CHANC ARE YOU STILL HAVE QUTNS! UNFORTUNATELY, “THERE AREN’T A TON OF ROURC OUT THERE FOR -PARENTS, PECIALLY FOR QUEER -PARENTS,” SAYS ANDREWS. BUT THERE ARE SOME ROURC AVAILABLE ABOUT QUEER PARENTG, CLUDG THE FOLLOWG:  GAYT SHOW ON BIRTH PODSTIF THE OVARI COULD TALK PODSTTHE NEW FAY PODSTDADDY SQUARED PODSTWHE TEETH: A NOVEL BY KRISTEN ART DETRANSN, BABY: A NOVEL BY TORREY PETERSTHE NATURAL MOTHER OF THE CHILD BY KRYS MALLM BLECRAD FAI: A CELEBRATN EDED BY TOMAS MONIZTHE ARGONTS BY MAGGIE NELSONDO THIS BABY MAKE ME LOOK STRAIGHT: CONFSNS OF A GAY DAD BY DAN BUTSKYWHO’S YOUR DADDY AND OTHER WRGS ON QUEER PARENTG EDED BY RACHEL EPSTETHE TAKEAWAY“WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO ME IS THAT PEOPLE UNRSTAND THAT -PARENTG ACTUALLY WORKS,” SAYS BOYLE. AND DON’T JT WORK, N WORK WELL!CO-PARENTG MIGHT NOT BE  THE RDS FOR YOU, THAT’S ALSO OKAY. THERE ARE MANY, MANY DIFFERENT WAYS FOR LGBTQ+ PEOPLE TO RAISE CHILDREN, SO LONG AS WE ALLOW OURSELV TO IMAGE BEYOND THE PARENTG MOLS MOST VISIBLE TO . AS SHANE PUTS , “WHEN QUEER PEOPLE ALLOW THEMSELV TO EXPAND THE FN(S) OF PARENTG, THEY’RE ABLE TO EMBODY THEIR ROLE(S) THENTILLY, RATHER THAN TRYG TO CRAM THEMSELV TO A BOX.” AND WHILE EMBRACG -PARENTG IS ONE WAY TO DO JT THAT, ’S NOT THE ONLY WAY. RELATED ARTICLVIEW ALL POSTSFERTILYASK A CLICIAN: CAN YOU VAPE ON BIRTH NTROL? AUGT 1, 2023 . 2 MIN READFERTILYQUEER AND TRANSGENR FERTILY 101JANUARY 1, 2023 . 7 MIN READFERTILYLGBTQ+ FERTILY TREATMENTS 101DECEMBER 13, 2022 . 5 MIN READSIGN UP TO STAY UP TO DATE ON LGBTQIA+ HEALTHRE

For stance, one such ncern is that children brought up by lbian mothers or gay fathers will show disturbanc genr inty and/or genr role behavr (Falk, 1989, 1994; Hchens & Kirkpatrick, 1985; Kleber, Howell, & Tibbs-Kleber, 1986; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). For example, urts have exprsed fears that children the ctody of gay or lbian parents will be more vulnerable to mental breakdown, will exhib more adjtment difficulti and behavr problems, and will be ls psychologilly healthy than other children. Three aspects of sexual inty are nsired the rearch: genr inty, which ncerns a person's self-intifitn as male or female; genr-role behavr, which ncerns the extent to which a person's activi, occupatns, and the like are regard by the culture as mascule, feme, or both; and sexual orientatn, which refers to a person's choice of sexual partners, who may be homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (Money & Ehrhardt, 1972; Ste, 1993).

Although some children have scribed enunters wh anti-gay remarks om peers (Gartrell et al., 2005), young adult offsprg of divorced lbian mothers did not rell beg the targets of any more childhood teasg or victimizatn than did the offsprg of divorced heterosexual mothers (Tasker & Golombok, 1995, 1997). Studi of the relatnships wh adults among the children of lbian and gay parents have also rulted a generally posive picture (Brewaeys et al., 1997; Golombok et al., 1983; Harris & Turner, 1985/86; Kirkpatrick et al., 1981; Waright et al., 2004). Much of the existg rearch on lbian mothers, gay fathers, and their children was iated to addrs ncerns that arose for such fai the ntext of child ctody disput, and was apparently signed at least part to exame the veracy of mon stereotyp that have been voiced legal proceedgs.

In a study of children born to lbian mothers, Gartrell and her lleagu (2005) reported that 10-year-olds who enuntered anti-gay sentiments among their peers were likely to report havg felt angry, upset, or sad about the experienc. Bee young adolcents are often preoccupied wh their own emergg sexualy, is wily agreed that early adolcence is a particularly difficult time for youth to learn that a mother is lbian or a father is gay (Bozett, 1980; Penngton, 1987; Schulenberg, 1985).

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

In summary, rearch on diversy among fai wh lbian and gay parents and on the potential effects of such diversy on children is still sparse (Mart, 1993, 1998; Patterson, 1995b, 2000, 2001, 2004; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999). It is clear that existg rearch provis no basis for believg that children's bt terts are served by fay nflict or secrecy about a parent's lbian or gay inty, or by requirements that a lbian or gay parent mata a hoehold separate om that of a same-sex partner.

In summary, there is no evince to suggt that lbian women or gay men are unf to be parents or that psychosocial velopment among children of lbian women or gay men is promised relative to that among offsprg of heterosexual parents. Although those om lbian fai were more likely to explore same-sex relatnships, particularly if their childhood fay environment was characterized by an openns and acceptance of lbian and gay relatnships, the large majory of children who grew up lbian fai intified as heterosexual.

Subjects evaluated vigt pictg eher a gay male uple or heterosexual uple and their adopted son along the dimensns of parentg abily, gree to which the child's problems were attributable to the parental relatnship, distrs of the child (cludg genr and sexual inty nfn), and the extent to which ctody reassignment was perceived to be beneficial.