Is Your Man Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? | Psychology Today

straight man with gay mannerisms

Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?"

Contents:

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

* straight man with gay mannerisms *

Keywords: Bears, Gay Culture, Gay and Bisexual Men, Self-teem, Masculy, ObyINTRODUCTIONThe gay muny is ultimately a heterogeneo one wh many subgroups and subcultur—one of the monali among them beg the sire to have same-sex enunters.

Bee there is a arth of general rearch regardg this muny, and no studi to date that e quantative methods, we cid to explore this muny quantatively—g an Inter-nvenience sample, followed by a purposive suggted, the Bear culture exhibs and valu a greater sense of domant (but not necsarily domeerg) “thentic masculy” parison to other subcultur wh the gay muny (e. In rponse and ntrast wh Leathermen, Bears mata their mascule inty whout adoptg negative hypermascule tennci to acmodate all partners, spe their size or body is some theoretil support for why the Bear inty spltered om the gay male mastream culture. Popular culture, the media, and Wtern hetero- and homosexual expectatns have normalized the ial male body as one that is lean, mcular, and v-shaped (wh broad shoulrs, a narrow waist, and a flat but well-fed stomach) (Olivardia, Pope, Borowiecki, & Cohane, 2000).

G., poor self-image/self-teem) velop both heterosexual and homosexual men exhibg ls sirable physil tras (Beren, Hayn, Wilfley, & Grilo, 1996; Morrison, Morrison, & Sager, 2004; Pepl et al., 2009; Weer, 2009; Yelland & Tiggemann, 2003). Whereas mastream gay men often do not engage sired or preferred sexual behavrs bee of fears of rejectn or judgment (Kamski, Chapman, Hayn, & Own, 2004), those the more acceptg Bear muny reject the fears due to their beg ultimately “feme” nature (Hennen, 2005). G., uratn, fistg, voyrism, exhibnism) (Grov, Parsons, & Bimbi, 2010) to the active existence of the Bear muny and regnn of this subculture by the larger gay/bisexual male culture, more rearch is need to explore the gree to which the prevly mentned physil, behavral, and psychologil differenc actually exist.

DO THIS MANNERISM MAKE ME LOOK GAY?

After enuragg fathers to “punch” sons who exhib stereotypilly gay behavr, North Carola pastor Sean Harris said on Tuday that he should... * straight man with gay mannerisms *

Consirg the likely prevalence of a Bear inty may be held (wh varyg tenaci) by about 14–22% of gay men, the rults provi addnal evince for the manift and latent heterogeney of gay and bisexual rults regardg body tras and partner selectn nfirm, for the first time a systematic manner, fdgs documented prev terview and ethnographic studi.

Regardls of the potential explanatn, Bears appear to be more sexually diverse and explorative than mastream gay and bisexual rults documented lower self-teem, which ntradicted both our hypothis and others’ terview rearch (e. In this rpect, Bears may overtimate and overstate re towards partners to self-prent as beg distct om men adherg to the mastream gay culture (which are often stereotyped as treatg partners as disposable) (Isay, 2009). Whether the ems are applible to gay men, bisexuals, or men qutng their sexualy remas rpect to methods, the parabily of sampl may be somewhat uncerta, as one was llected through ter surveyg and the other, through paper survey.

STRAIGHT DUS WH GAY MANNERISMS...

The male athlet who've e out recently rerce the obv: Gay men n be mascule. But people should also be acceptg of men, gay or straight, who don't nform to tradnal genr norms. * straight man with gay mannerisms *

A study that answers the rearch qutns would provi further evince to support the heterogeney hypothis: Not only is the mastream gay muny culturally heterogeneo, but so are the sexual health behavrs and problems wh last suggtn for future rearch would be to tt some of the theori generated by the current data. "Th, " the thors wrote, "by g photos of gay and straight dividuals that they themselv did not post, we were able to remove the fluence of self-prentatn and much of the potential selectn bias that may be prent photos om personal advertisements.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

Myth: Lbian, gay and bisexual people n be intified by certa mannerisms or physil characteristics.  People who are lbian, gay or bisexual e as many different shap, lors and siz as do people who are heterosexual. * straight man with gay mannerisms *

"A man, ually homosexual, wh a distctly effete facial stcture wh some very specific featur; a strong jawle [sic] that lacks promence, space between the ey that rell people wh down syndrome [sic], and a slopg, long forehead. My last post scribed a populatn of mal who nsir themselv heterosexual, do not label themselv gay or bisexual, chew volvement wh the LGBT muny, are often married or romantilly volved wh an oppose-sex partner, and who engage sex wh mal or exprs the sire to do so. Due large part to the popularizatn of the topic the btsellg 2005 book On the Down Low: A Journey to the Liv of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep wh Men, [i] Lato and Ain-Amerin men are the primary subjects rearch wh non-gay intified MSM.

One of the earlit studi, "The Bisexual and Non-Gay Attached Rearch Project" om the early 1990s, found that participants engagg same-sex sexual behavr but not intifyg as gay or bisexual scribed themselv as “kky, ” “normal, ” or “jt a guy. But you don't even have to be a scientist to pass such judgments:We've found that sual observers n e ga and body shape to judge whether a stranger is gay or straight wh a small but perceptible amount of accuracy. But people should also be acceptg of men, gay or straight, who don't nform to tradnal genr Los Angel Galaxy midfielr Robbie Rogers took the pch on Sunday, he beme the first openly gay man to play on a major profsnal team the U.

There have been 29 reported this year, up om 14 the same perd last year, even as hate crim overall have cled durg that time by almost 30 recent uptick anti-gay vlence also durg the same month that three more stat passed laws legalizg same-sex marriage and jt weeks after NBA veteran Jason Colls revealed that he is gay—and was largely greeted wh open arms by the sports world. But Ayanbajo got to the heart of why the importance of a figure like Jason Colls extends beyond the celebry factor: "People thk gayns has somethg to do wh femy when really we jt need to erase that stereotype om our mds, " he said.

GAY PEOPLE LOOK DIFFERENT, WALK DIFFERENT THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE

And sce for women, we thk gayns "has somethg to do wh" masculy, we hold the opposg set of assumptns about female athlet: "In sports right now, there are two different stereotyp—that there are no gay male athlet, and every female athlete is a lbian, " Patrick Burke of the gay sports advocy group You Can Play explaed to the New York Tim. The news that Grer, who wore a whe tux on her 6-foot-8 ame at the WNBA draft, is gay didn't fundamentally challenge our notn that sexualy has somethg to do wh genr—and jt nfirmed the stereotyp we had about women who excel sports. In his semal 1994 article "Masculy as Homophobia, " soclogist Michael Kimmel, thor of Guyland: The Perilo World Where Boys Bee Men, argued that "homophobia is a central anizg prciple of our cultural fn of manhood.

"Homophobia, then, is not simply social disapproval and discrimatn agast gay people, but an entire cultural stcture that disqualifyg all but the "most vilent repudiators of femy" om "real manhood"— the procs upholdg genr equaly and matag a hierarchy of men based on sexualy, race, class, abily, and so 's entirely unrstandable, then, why Colls took pas to highlight his masculy his Sports Illtrated article announcg the news. About two-thirds of the public thks that gay and lbian upl n be as good parents as heterosexual upl and that they should have the same legal rights as their straight young people, pecially, anti-gay views are cidly the exceptn. Ever sce we've been askg about public opn polls, men have been more likely than women to poe anti-gay views—a fact that buttrsed the theory that masculy is timately nnected wh homophobia, says Tristan Bridg, assistant profsor of soclogy at The College at Brockport, SUNY.

WHAT DO LIMP WRISTS HAVE TO DO WH GAY MEN?

Though homophobia is by no means eradited—after all, Bridg pots out, straight men pecially still seem be far more fortable wh gay inty than actual gay sex—the largely supportive rponse to Colls and Rogers g out would seem to reflect a real and rapid change anti-gay attus, which should certaly be 's far ls clear is whether this shift is actually changg the way homophobia is ed as a weapon for matag tradnal masculy.

And don't get much better for adults: Nety percent of the trans and genr non-nformg people surveyed by the Natnal Gay and Lbian Task Force and the Natnal Center for Transgenr Equaly reported experiencg harassment, mistreatment, or discrimatn on the job, or hid their inti to avoid . And though steppg too far outsi of acceptable genr norms is seen as a problem for everyone, to a gree, women may even be reward for distancg themselv om femy at is not to say that clg homophobia don't have the potential to lead to a ser reimagg of masculy more broadly. " But if they still shout "cunt" and "psy" as they physilly abe their athlet, that will be superficial progrs fact, if the associatn between gayns and femy is broken whout more fundamentally expandg masculy, may even make thgs worse.

Gawker's Rich Juzwiak explaed last year, "As a gay, you unrstand that while you'll always fd peers who allow you to be exactly as queeny as you are, there is still a social hierarchy that puts a premium on masculy. Many lbian, gay and bisexual people have early heterosexual experienc, but are still lbian, gay or bisexual; many avowed heterosexuals have had sexual ntact wh members of their own sex, but are still heterosexual. Somehow, the origal “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” premiered on Bravo two s ago this month, prentg five gay men – each specializg a specific liftyle area – as they scend upon a (ually) heterosexual male subject need of some support, whether was wh clothg choic, groomg, anizatn or perhaps an unrlyg issue around self nfince.

WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS WHO DO F THE 'GAY STEREOTYPE'?

It was a novel take on the makeover ncept, not only terms of beg one of the first monstroly succsful programs the then-nascent realm of realy TV, but also one of the first tl to feature not one – but five – gay people as the leads.

GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN PREFER MASCULE-PRENTG GAY MEN FOR A HIGH-STAT ROLE: EVINCE FROM AN ELOGILLY VALID EXPERIMENT

Krsley agreed, sayg, “We meet people all the time who are probably their thirti now, who say, ‘I me om a very nservative fay, we were very relig, “Gay” was not somethg that was ever spoken about our home, and your show allowed to at least have that nversatn, if not make easier for me to e out.

He add that of urse, isn’t only gay people who approach them wh spiratnal msag, and that at the time the origal show aired, the st saw how their visibily as gay people wh a larger straight world was beg received firsthand.

And for those who cricized the origal seri for rercg stereotyp by havg a gay fashnista or bety expert swoop to tidy thgs up, Colls creds his rint foodie Allen for a memorable moment at the show’s first NBC upont Los Angel back 2003, when he faced a slew of reporters and had the perfect retort.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* STRAIGHT MAN WITH GAY MANNERISMS

Gay People Look Different, Walk Different Than Straight People .

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