Gay Youth Comg Out In Middle School : NPR

Contents:

• SO YOU SUPPORT YOUR GAY TEEN, GREAT: YOU STILL HAVE TO PARENT THEM
• A 16-YEAR-OLD WENT TO A GAY BAR WH A FAKE I.D. AND THGS COULD’VE END TERRIBLY IF NOT FOR THIS DRAG QUEEN
• MY TEEN SON SAYS HE'S GAY
• MY SON THKS HE’S GAY
• MY LOVELY 16 YEAR OLD SON JT TOLD ME HE'S GAY
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• GAY YOUTH COMG OUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

SO YOU SUPPORT YOUR GAY TEEN, GREAT: YOU STILL HAVE TO PARENT THEM

Havg feelgs about or havg a sexual experience wh a person of the same sex do not necsarily mean you are homosexual.

A 16-YEAR-OLD WENT TO A GAY BAR WH A FAKE I.D. AND THGS COULD’VE END TERRIBLY IF NOT FOR THIS DRAG QUEEN

The phrase “ the closet” may be ed to refer to someone who is gay, lbian, or bisexual, but hasn’t told iends and fay members yet. If you're terted learng how the gay rights stggle started — and where we are now — this is the perfect place to start. Will Grayson 1 (wrten by John Green) has a "very big and very gay" bt iend, Ty Cooper, and while he's been there for Ty through every heartbreak he's endured, he's on the fence about their iendship.

The Homo Sapiens Agenda" by Becky AlbertalliNow 20% Off16-year-old Simon's g out story is not too far om what a lot of LGBTQ teens experience. And, while Leah's mom knows she's bisexual, she's havg trouble tellg her iends — cludg Simon, who is openly gay after the events of Simon vs.

When gay teens e out to their parents, ’s an experience often rife wh emotn and ndor that n’t help but change the kid–parent experts say that procsg a child’s proclamatn of their sexualy is only the begng of the journey for moms and dads.

MY TEEN SON SAYS HE'S GAY

And while there are an creasg number of fai who embrace their child’s homosexualy and are supportive, lovg, and even unfazed by the revelatn, ’s a turn of the ti that leav some ncerned about whether or not there is an unrstandg of the nuanc of parentg a gay teen. “The problem for most gay kids is that they n lose their parents whether their parents are hateful or supportive, ” says Dan Savage, thor, sex lumnist and creator of the “It Gets Better Project, ” which helps gay teens rever om bullyg.

”Savage, who has a son wh his gay partner, says that he equently hears stori about parents who are aaid to tell their gay son that they don’t approve of his boyiend for fear of soundg tolerant or who help their gay teen sneak to gay bars by securg them a fake ID — a double standard that he fds tratg. Stephen Rsell, an adolcent psychologist at the Universy of Arizona, says that he and his partner, Stt Neeley, have faced many challeng while parentg their gay son, Enrique, 18.

Rsell also suggts that parents of gay teenagers be aware of whether or not the person their child is datg has already e out himself, and of how their parents reacted to the news. Savage says that parents of gay teens — pecially boys — should also be aware of the dangers that exist today’s datg world, potg out that bee their gay son is datg men, he fac risks like timate partner vlence and sexual asslt.

MY SON THKS HE’S GAY

If you have a gay son, you should be protective of him jt as you would be of a straight dghter who was sexually active and datg, ” says Savage. Rsell also strs the importance of beg faiar wh gay sex and timacy before engagg your teen discsns about sexualy, and says to be prepared for qutns about what nstut sex and where lims lie.

“It’s the same when you’ve got a ltle gay kid — you realize there are a range of thgs out there that they will experience that don’t even relate to the thgs they hear about sex om their straight iends. ”Acrdg to Rsell, one of the most important thgs for parents of all teens — gay or straight — to remember is the importance of emphasizg to your child that they serve to be treated wh rpect and that they should be rpectful of others. Leather ntt a dog llar when I’m 16 years old, ’ your rponse should be, ‘This has nothg to do wh your beg gay, and everythg to do wh the fact that I’m your parent and I don’t approve of the choice you’re makg, ’” says Savage.

MY LOVELY 16 YEAR OLD SON JT TOLD ME HE'S GAY

Many years after occurred, an anonymo tumblr er has e forward wh a story about the horrific time a man slipped somethg to their drk a gay tablishment and dragged them outsi and to his r. As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay. “If you’re gay, or Jewish, or black, that gets kd of picked up on and joked about – not a way that’s malic, or that they mean to be malic, but fely a way that feels like there’s no lim.

Keep md that gay teens are at risk for all kds of psychologil distrs and you want to do whatever you n to provi a safe haven and a buffer for your son. Beg gay is only one aspect of his inty and he is the same person today that he was before he told you that he is gay.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

Rather than emphasizg whether or not to try to cut off his terchange — there is, after all, nothg wrong wh beg gay — a more important, longer-term qutn would be, “How n I help him improve his social skills?

Lnched , datg dg and speratn is one of the newer datg apps to e allows guys to chat wh other men whout all of the stigma attached to gay datg apps. Gay addn to providg the standard datg app fare, also promis to provi a safe space for women to fd love, iendships, and build muny.

Straight, gay, lbian, transvte, and transsexual men and women are wele to jo, and Fun Date Cy will e s own matchg algorhm to pair them based on self dividual wants and a profile for ee and tt the se out for yourself! Secury and apps are top prri at Teens Town, which is datg the self verifi gay member and ensur s no adult ntent shows up on the se. So many guys fall to the trap of changg their whole inty as soon olds they e out, tryg to bend and shape themselv to f to different gay cliqu for a sense of belongg, 9 self out of 10 adaptg a 'mean gay' fa along the way out of secury.

GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

* My md was racg, thought he was gog to tell me he had done somethg really bad/illegal, so was actually relieved when he said I'm gay.

I have no issu about him beg gay, *jt wish he'd told me unr better circumstanc and I'd been able to put asi thgs and jt give him a big hug. *JAEN W08/03/2012 at 11:46 pmIt sounds to me like he was tryg to iate a nontatn wh you orr to be able to get the urage to tell you he is gay.

Good Luck xSiar threadsAnonymo09/03/2012 at 2:42 pmHello and thanks for your post Anon I n image how shocked you were last night after son told you that he was gay.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns.

As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups. If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero.

The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Denizet-Lewis wr that when he started workg for the gay men's magaze XY 1998, "we received dozens of letters each week om teenagers the pths of spair.

GAY YOUTH COMG OUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

" Three years later, he says, "a new kd of gay adolcent was appearg on the page - proud, rilient, sometim even happy.

" He explas, That's not to say that gay teenagers didn't still suffer harassment at school or rejectn at home, but many seemed ls burned wh shame and self-loathg than their olr gay peers. Not only were there creasgly accurate and posive portrayals of gays and lbians popular culture, but most teenagers were by then regular Inter ers. Gog onle broke through the isolatn that had been a hallmark of beg young and gay, and allowed gay teenagers to fd rmatn to refute what their fai or church sometim still told them - namely, that they would never fd happs and to the Inter and to creasg cultural acceptance of homosexualy (an crease marred, we should note, by measur like Proposn 8), kids who might once have waed until high school or even llege to e out are now dog so earlier.