Gay Men and Body Perfectn | Psychology Today

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Many gay men want a perfect body, but the effort to get one creat real misery.

Contents:

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[for girls unls you are gay or bi]June 30, 2008 Petra Love & Friendship Movi Perfect Match Girl Gay Boyiend Love Johnny Depp, Jackie Chan, Jt Timberlake, Jam Blunt.... But is also leavg many gay men feelg anx about their bodi. The gay media reprents bety and sirabily the form of youth and gym-toned bodi, makg the gay scene a harsh place for people who do not nform to such ials.

There is a high prevalence of psychologil distrs related to body image amongst gay men. Many gay men go to the gym every day.

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We ually associate eatg disorrs wh women but is mon wh gay men too (and creasgly wh heterosexual men).

Some gay men suffer om what we ll "mcle distrs.

This distrs go unnoticed bee is socially sirable to have the perfect body the gay scene. Many gay men velop harsh and cril thoughts about how they look, and n seem like an impossible battle to w. I see gay men whose strict liftyle has ma them miserable and they n’t fd a way towards ntentment for themselv.

AFTERELTON'S PERFECT GAY PROM DATE PERSONALY QUIZ!{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}MOVIBY ALEXANR STEVENSONAPRIL 14, 2011/4:33 PMBY ALEXANR STEVENSONAPRIL 14, 2011 / 4:33 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"AFTERELTON'S PERFECT GAY PROM DATE PERSONALY QUIZ!","DATEPUBLISHED":"2011-04-14T20:33:17.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2011-04-14T20:33:17.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"ALEXANR STEVENSON","KEYWORDS":"THE BACKLOT","ARTICLESECTN":"MOVI"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}*UGH* ICK’ SMALL-MD IDTS *UGH* – YOU SPERATELY NEED A {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT HOW TO GET ONE?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SURE, YOU ULD STUMBLE MADLY THROUGH THE HALLWAYS OF YOUR HIGH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ASKG GUYS AT RANDOM, SPERATE FOR ANY GLIMPSE OF A RABOW OR PK {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}OR SOMEONE HUMMG “TEENAGE DREAM.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}OR YOU ULD JT TAKE OUR LATT POLL!{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOUR WAY? YOU PROBABLY END UP WH A SCFFY LOUT WHO’LL BORE YOU {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}OPNS SO LAME THEY’VE EVEN BEEN REJECTED BY LIVEJOURNAL, STIFF YOU WH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BILL FOR DNER, AND HEAD BACK TO THE CLOSET BEFORE YOU EVEN H THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}OUR WAY? YOU END UP WH THE MAN OF YOUR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DON’T BELIEVE ? TAKE OUR POLL AND SEE!{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}*{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOTE TO OUR BISEXUAL AND FEMALE REARS: AFTERELTON’S “ROMANTIC MATCH” TECHNOLOGY IS UNNNILY ACCURATE – {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}’S NOT YET ACCURATE ENOUGH TO ACUNT FOR BISEXUALY AND/OR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN SHORT, YOU’LL ALL BE GOG TO THE DANCE WH A GUY WHO’S {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}PLEASE ENABLE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}// {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}(FUNCTN(){{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}VAR S = DOCUMENT.CREATEELEMENT('SCRIPT');{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;} = 'TEXT/JAVASCRIPT';{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;} = TE;{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}VAR SRC = DOCUMENT.LOTN.PROTOL + '//';{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SRC += (DOCUMENT.LOTN.PROTOL == 'HTTP:') ?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}'' : '';{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SRC += '/WIDGET/';{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;} = SRC;{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;} = 'EELOAD';{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DOCUMENT.GETELEMENTSBYTAGNAME('HEAD')[0].APPENDCHILD(S);{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}})();{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}// ]]>{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

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Whilst the gay media perpetuat body perfectn and helps mata the distrs, the unrlyg disturbance that mak so many gay men predisposed to the stggl is homophobia. In my practice, I see many gay men whose real stggle is the fear of rejectn, the hypervigilance of threats makg vulnerabily tolerable for them. Gay men may not be able to intify the unrlyg pa by themselv but gay-affirmative therapy, they n have a space to unpack the var layers of their disturbanc.

For example, gay men often have memori of beg bullied at school so beg "big wh mcl" is a way to unter that pa. " There are plenty of gay datg s overflowg wh chee lovers that make fdg like-md partners near you effortls. They are signed to match you wh perfect gay guys om your area, so you're bound to meet someone who lov chee as much as you do.

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Eric Bach is an openly gay broadster for the Frericksburg Natnals. He has major league aspiratns, but his path has been much lonelier than he would prefer. * perfect gay date *

The dispute gay so heated that parents on both sis pulled children out of the school system, while others ma plans charged move out of mother sued the district, succsfully puttg the diversy awome on hold. More parents followed, gay sharg stori of racist bullyg that trmatized their children, wh ltle or no nsequenc for the offendg stunts. The school system put out a ll for volunteers and appoted 63 muny members gay a diversy uncil that would study crime solutns.

The rult awome the effort — a page document known as the Cultural Competence Actn Plan — was ma public beatg lled for mandatory cultural gay trag for all Carroll stunts and teachers, a formal procs for reportg and trackg cints of racist bullyg, and chang to crime of nduct to hold stunts acuntable for acts targeted discrimatn. Some opponents charged nied that systemic racism exists and crime that children should be tght not to gay race. Start Your Gay Slave Love StoryBut that work was awome after one parent, Krist Garcia, sued the district over filipo datg edmonton way the diversy plan was veloped, allegg that after members had vlated the Texas open meetgs law.

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McCoy for The New York TimHis Sexualy Don’t Defe Him, but It Can Set Him ApartEric Bach is an openly gay broadster for the Frericksburg Natnals. Three years earlier, while he was studyg journalism at Michigan State Universy, he had publicly e out as gay an say he wrote for the time of the say, he braced for a backlash, but nothg materialized.

He worked his way up om ternships to full-time broadstg jobs, and while anyone wh an ter nnectn uld learn he was gay, nobody asked, and he did not say so aga publicly.

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It was bil and ugly, filled wh “every gay slur you uld thk of, ” Bach said.

It was paful at the time — the worst thg that had happened to him as a gay man, he said — but has reced far enough to his memory that did not e to md an hourlong terview about his experienc as a gay broadster.

As far as Bach knows — and as far as many of his unterparts wh other teams are aware — there are no other openly gay broadsters the sport. McCoy for The New York TimBorn to BroadstLong before he knew he was gay, Bach knew he wanted to be a sports father was a ach, and a love of sports ran through the fay. ”)He began to accept that he was gay durg his sophomore year of high school, but wh that acceptance me worry.

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As a multisport athlete, Bach was often locker rooms filled wh chos of homophobic slurs and gay jok. ’”By the start of his sophomore year at Michigan State, Bach was ready to tell his parents that he was gay, tchg his father off guard but nfirmg what his mother had prevly assumed. He did each job to the bt of his abily, and his sexualy never me, he has found that there’s a difference between beg a gay man baseball and beg pletely fortable as one.

“I was sually like, ‘You know I’m gay, right? That uncertaty mak him feel self-nsc a way he believ is mon for gay people mostly straight spac. “I feel like that’s the burn a lot of gay people live wh — tryg to be perfect for straight people, ” he job requir equent teractn wh the players and the achg staff — addn to his duti as play-by-play announcer, Bach also is the ma public relatns ntact for the team — and he said he hadn’t fully relaxed any of them.

The environment is not hostile, but Bach never fets that he is the only openly gay person the room. Mrer/Frericksburg NatnalsThat feelg is somewhat “self-flicted, ” Bach said, but he believ the solutn is to brg more openly gay people to sports and create a safe environment for those who are already there but have felt necsary to hi their League Baseball has touted self as a place of clivy. Billy Bean, an openly gay former player, was named the league’s first ambassador for cln 2014 and has sce been promoted to senr vice print and special assistant to Commissner Rob Maned.

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