What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

supporting gay daughter

October 11, 2021 When a child or teen out as lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr or queer (LGBTQ), ’s normal for a parent or guardian to have potentially plex feelgs, om nfed to ncerned, awkward to honored. Dr. Angela Ka Goepferd offers tips on how to support kids the g out procs.

Contents:

HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR GAY CHILD

She jt told me she’s gay. I’ve already talked to her about sex wh boys—how do I talk to her about girls? * supporting gay daughter *

Sign up to get "Dear Therapist" your Therapist, As a parent, I firmly believe that is my duty to prepare my kids to be posive, healthy, and productive people both the world and personal when my 12-year-old dghter announced that she is gay, my md started spng.

But providg support isn't always easy — pecially if you are the parent of a lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr or qutng (LGBTQ) child. Advote for a gay-straight alliance (GSA), which has been shown to make schools safer and boost amic performance among LGBTQ stunts. Team up wh a pediatrician, a unselor at school, close fay members and even muny anizatns — for example, Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG) — if you’re havg trouble gog alone.

COMG OUT: A PARENTS GUI TO SUPPORTG YOUR GAY TEEN

Advice for parents wh LGBTQ kids to help support and show them love. What to do when your kids e out to you as lbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer. * supporting gay daughter *

Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbian and Gays (PFLAG). Though public acceptance of lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer people has grown over the years, many parents and fay members of LGBTQ+ kids still stggle to know what to say when a child out, or they aren't sure how to support the child as they age. 3 ln, high school stunts the Uned Stat report beg lbian, gay, or bisexual, and about 2% intify as transgenr, acrdg to Centers for Disease Control and Preventn (CDC) data om 2017 and 2019, rpectively.

It’s no different for parents of LGBTQ (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, and Queer) children.

HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS

* supporting gay daughter *

And fay rejectn has a ser impact on a gay or transgenr young person’s risk for health and mental health problems. "I enurage parents to not assume that [they] know what LGBTQ youth are experiencg, " Kirk Shepard, a licensed profsnal unselor Portland, Oregon, told NBC OUT regardg the 2016 attack where an assailant killed 49 people a gay nightclub Orlando, Florida, and jured many more. When a child or teen out as lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr or queer (LGBTQ), ’s normal for a parent or guardian to have potentially plex feelgs, om nfed to ncerned, awkward to honored.

In our town, we are the gay "go-to" people — pecially for parents and grandparents of gay kids. " Beg openly gay may be the most urageo choice your son, dghter, grandson or granddghter will ever make. "I don't know how to tell iends and fay about my gay kid or grandkid.

Wh more people livg openly, seems that nearly everyone knows someone gay. Nearly everyone knows and lik/lov someone gay. "Now that I know my kid is gay, I'm ncerned about same-sex sleepovers.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

"Mom, Dad, I'm gay!" Your brave, wonrful, betiful child has spoken the words out loud that somewhere the back of your md you already spected. This moment of honty is the begng of a journey that n be challengg for both you and your child. * supporting gay daughter *

" If the ia of your dghter sleepg wh her boyiend unr your own roof at the age of 16 sets off every bad parentg bell the universe for you, hold your gay son or dghter to the same standards.

We're sure he would e out if only he didn't thk his mom hadn't already submted her résumé for an open posn at PFLAG, which stands for Parents, Fay & Friends of Lbians and Gays. "I was jt settlg to the gay thg and now she tells me she lik a boy. I recently checked wh a iend about her gay high school senr.

"I really want him to meet some other nice gay people. Not jt the Gay-Straight Alliance, although this is a great start.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

When a child first out as eher beg gay or havg same-sex attractn their parents' ial rpons are ually the wrong on, says Chris Doyle, a psychotherapist who specializ SSA. * supporting gay daughter *

What about volunteerg for a gay teen hotle or homels shelter? Y, gay people are more visible than ever before. But is equally te that homophobia ns rampant and ep this untry.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

Parents of gay children may go through an adjtment perd when they fd out their child is gay, but there is support for parents of gay children. * supporting gay daughter *

Joan Garry is a natnally regnized gay rights lear and the former print of the Gay & Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn (GLAAD). Of the youth, an timated 5–10 percent—and likely more—are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or qutng (LGBTQ) all young people, LGBTQ youth foster re need the support of a nurturg fay to help them negotiate adolcence and grow to healthy adults.

MARIE OSMOND TALKS GAY MARRIAGE, LBIAN DGHTER JSI IN NEW INTERVIEW

Many parents stggle for years to adjt after learng child is gay, acrdg to a new study om Gee Washgton Universy public health rearchers. * supporting gay daughter *

Studi by the Fay Acceptance Project have found that most people report beg attracted to another person around age 10 and intifyg as lbian, gay, or bisexual (on average) at age 13. Gay or transgenr people are not more likely than heterosexuals or genr-nformg people to molt or otherwise pose a threat to children. Profsnal mental health anizatns agree that homosexualy is not a mental disorr and is a natural part of the human ndn.

SO YOU SUPPORT YOUR GAY TEEN, GREAT: YOU STILL HAVE TO PARENT THEM

Marie Osmond Backs Gay Marriage: 'I Don't Thk God Ma One Color Flower, I Thk He Ma Many' * supporting gay daughter *

When a child first out to their parents as eher beg gay or havg same-sex attractn, their ial rpons are ually the wrong on, says Chris Doyle, a psychotherapist who specializ York Cy gay pri para crowd this undated photo. "Sce homosexualy is beg more wily accepted Amerin society, an creasg number of teens who experience SSA are intifyg as gay. They believe that if you experience same-sex attractns, then you're gay, " Doyle told the negative rpons parents have, acrdg to Doyle, are avoidg the issue by barrg their child om talkg about SSA or their gay inty; believg that 's a passg phase; or threateng to kick their olr teen or 20-somethg child out of the hoe.

He also emphasized that parents nnot talk their child out of beg gay or havg SSA. "We know, our clil rearch over the last 25 years, that fay culture, environment and other non-blogil factors play a signifint role the velopment of same-sex attractn, " he asserted, addg that parents shouldn't seek therapy as an attempt to change their the book, Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Fay Healg, wrten by Richard Cohen, executive director of IHF, Doyle said 12 prcipl are discsed to help fai navigate through SSA and s .

When gay teens e out to their parents, ’s an experience often rife wh emotn and ndor that n’t help but change the kid–parent experts say that procsg a child’s proclamatn of their sexualy is only the begng of the journey for moms and dads. And while there are an creasg number of fai who embrace their child’s homosexualy and are supportive, * supporting gay daughter *

"Regardg sleepovers and big life events such as parents' attendg a child's same-sex weddg ceremony, Doyle suggted that parents treat their homosexual child the same as they would their heterosexual the se of sleepovers, parents should mata the same standards for every child and not allow their gay intified or SSA child to have somone they're attracted to spend the night wh them.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* SUPPORTING GAY DAUGHTER

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