My First Night Back at a Gay Bar

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Learn how to approach and flirt wh gay guys at clubs, bars, or other venuMeetg gay guys is hard. First you have to terme if the guy you're terted is gay or straight. Then you have to approach him and strike up a...

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DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS

I went to The Dock Ccnati.I was nervo as hell when I went . And pretty quickly realized how nice was to be 20 somethg, new and gay. * first time gay bar *

To be fair, there are straight clubs that play great mic and have fun, nonjudgmental crowds, and there are gay bars that are nothg more than S and M (Stand and Mol) clubs.

Certa gay/lbian clubs have their target clientele, of urse — wboys and wgirls (The Round-up Saloon Dallas), leather men (La Track Montreal), punk lbians (The Dyke Bar Brighton, UK), and drag queens (1001 Pub Maryl Istanbul), for stance — but what I’m talkg about is your basic glter-ball, all-wele, humpg-on-the-dance-floor dis. This wouldn’t have happened at any of the gay bars town, and we fely would have had a better time, as the doorman was jt the first of numero snooty employe we enuntered, there. A gay bar is one of the few plac where homosexuals n exprs their affectn for one another whout beg subjected to someone’s narrow judgment, or, prumably, riskg harm to themselv, so expect to happen.

I went wh three iends — a lbian and a straight uple — to a gay nightclub a while back, but was separated om them immediately after enterg the crowd club.

"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME""IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017/3:40 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAGWEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - OCTOBER 09: PEOPLE AT THE LGBT-IENDLY BAR 10 REACT TO MENTS MA BY DONALD TMP DURG THE SEND PRINTIAL BATE BETWEEN REPUBLIN PRINTIAL NOMEE DONALD TMP AND DEMOCRATIC PRINTIAL NOMEE HILLARY CLTON ON OCTOBER 9, 2016 WT HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA. (PHOTO BY DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAG)BY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017 / 3:40 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"\"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME\"","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPH","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST GAY BAR, RIGHT? THAT FEELG OF ELATN MIXED WH FEAR SHG OVER YOU AS YOU WALKED AND FOUND OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A MEMBER OF REDD'S LBGT SUBREDD RECENTLY SHARED THAT HE MA HIS VIRG PILGRIMAGE TO A GAY BAR THE OTHER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"I ME OUT TO MYSELF SHORTLY AFTER LEAVG THE MORMON CHURCH LAST YEAR," POSTED MEMAHSELFNI. "I GUS I'D BEEN GAY MY WHOLE LIFE BUT WAS HUGE NIAL OVER UNTIL I LEFT MY RELIGN AND REALIZED I FELT NOTHG FOR THE GIRL I HAD BEEN WH."SENOR FROG'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LEARNG THERE WERE SOME GAY CLUBS A FEW TOWNS OVER, HE CID TO TAKE THE PLUNGE ONE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY AMONG PEOPLE WHO FALLY FELT AS I DID AND WEREN'T GOG TO SULT ME FOR FEELG HOW I {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I END UP HAVG A NVERSATN FOR HOURS WH A UPLE, SIPPG JACK AND COKE, ABOUT HOW I ME TO KNOW I WAS GAY, THEIR G OUT STORI, AND HEARG OM THEM THAT I WAS GOG TO BE JT FE AND THAT THE SKY IS THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEY TOLD ME ABOUT ALL OF THE EVENTS AND ACTIVI THAT THE LGBT MUNY DO NEAR ME—THAT WAS ONE OF THE BT PARTS OF THE NIGHT, KNOWG THAT I'M NOT ON MY OWN AS A GAY MAN. {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MEMAHSELFNI ADMS HE IALLY FELT UNFORTABLE, BUT SOON REALIZED "THIS WAS A PLACE WHERE I ULD BE MYSELF [AND] I OPENED UP AND EMBRACED MY SEXUAL INTY. AND I FELT EE AND HONT AGA!"{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER GETTG BEAR HUGS AND KISS OM HIS NEW IENDS, HE WENT HOME "FEELG ON TOP OF THE WORLD."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE RPONS TO HIS STORY WERE EQUALLY TOUCHG, WH SOME G OM OTHER GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"SO MANY OF HAVE LIVED THAT STORY BUT 'S STILL NICE TO HEAR ONCE AGA," WROTE ONE REDDOR. "MY RELLECTNS OF MY FIRST TIME AT THE GAY BARS REMA VIVID TO THIS DAY THO WAS SO LONG AGO. THE FEELG OF LIBERATN, OF SPREADG WGS IS ALMOST PALPABLE."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"GAY BARS ARE LIKE AN EMBASSY FOR GAYS ANYWHERE," ADD ANOTHER. "WHEREVER YOU ARE, THE GAY BAR WILL BE YOU SAFE ZONE."GAY WOMEN HAVG DRKS A BAR BIRMGHAM. LBIAN UPL TALKG AND HAVG DRKS LEANG AGAST BAR. YOUNG, STYLISH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"CONGRATS TO G OUT, AND BEG YOURSELF," RPOND A FELLOW EX-MORMON. "LIKE YOU, I ULDN'T ACCEPT MY SEXUAL ORIENTATN UNTIL I LEFT THE CHURCH, AND AFTER G OUT TO MYSELF AND OTHERS, THGS STARTED TO IMPROVE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT'S GOG ON FIVE YEARS NOW, AND I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO A LOT MY 30S THAT I NEVER ULD ALLOW MYSELF TO DO OR BE MY 20S. I REMEMBER MY FIRST PRI AND HOW EMOTNAL WAS FOR ME. IT WAS JT AFTER MARRIAGE EQUALY WAS VOTED ON WASHGTON, AND SEATTLE WAS JT SO FILLED WH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}JT AS YOU ARE FDG, IS GREAT TO FD SPAC THAT YOU N FEEL FORTABLE AND FULLY BE YOURSELF AT. NOW I'M HAPPILY MARRIED TO MY HBAND, AND AMAZED TO SEE HOW MUCH SUPPORT I HAD ALONG THE WAY OM OTHERS WHO ED TO BE STNCHLY LDS."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

This is the story of my first time and, as many first tim on anythg, didn't´t go well bee of my experience. Many say they knew they were gay their whole liv, not my se. I had no ia. If somebody would tell me I was gay before that day, I would have given them a middle fger. But I * first time gay bar *

Unlike what you may have seen on Queer as Folk, the overwhelmg majory of gay bars don’t have backrooms and hallways where wild i are takg place. Dg e, particularly the e of ecstasy and other signer dgs, is higher among the gay populatn than the straight populatn, and some gays and lbians equate a night on the town wh a night of high-energy, dg-duced spastic dancg.

In my qut for the perfect dance club, I tried, or was dragged to, diss of all varieti, so I know om experience that the bt dance mic is a gay bar. Sylvter, the late dis diva of the ’80s, was one of the first to target gay dienc, and he tablished a proud tradn of producg multi-layered tracks to which even the most rhythmilly-challenged uld dance.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST GAY BAR YOU WENT TO, AND WHAT DID YOU THK OF ?

Explorg the Vibrant World of Gay Bars Your Area, If you're lookg for a fun and clive place to socialize and meet new people, gay bars are a great optn * first time gay bar *

Even though he was straight and had a girliend, Ron and I went dancg together often; we both loved to dance, and if no one wanted to go out wh , we knew we uld dance a gay bar whout beg hassled. From gym gods to nerds to fag hags (the latter beg the straight women who hang wh their gay male iends) to straight upl who want to try some place new — don’t matter. Although, to be hont, the more you look like a er ught the headlights, the more the regulars will look at you oddly, so try not to eak out when you see your first drag queen or gay/lbian uple makg out.

And often, gay clubs smaller towns or ral areas are entrance-by-membership-only, to keep out the rednecks and others who want stir up trouble.

When I attend llege the homophobic town of Wa, Texas, gettg to the one gay bar town remd me of enterg a speak-easy durg Prohibn, but once si, the patrons were all nice and easy-gog.

MY FIRST NIGHT BACK AT A GAY BAR

After readg Jeremy Atherton L's "Gay Bar: Why We Went Out," the "dirty versn" of queer bar history, I revised the refuge of gay bars then and now. * first time gay bar *

Even when loted “nicer” parts of town, gay bars tend to attract n artists, pick pockets, and gay bashers lookg to prey on the weak or dnk.

However, if you have no problem wh gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenred people general, they turn will have no problem wh you, so you ought to give the lol gay bar a try.

Though you should prepare yourself for the fact that people might assume you're gay and might even exprs romantic or sexual tert you. "I gus I'd been gay my whole life but was huge nial over until I left my relign and realized I felt nothg for the girl I had been wh. "Learng there were some gay clubs a few towns over, he cid to take the plunge one was like steppg to a sanctuary among people who fally felt as I did and weren't gog to sult me for feelg how I do.

THE DOS & DON'TS OF GAY CLUBBG

* first time gay bar *

I end up havg a nversatn for hours wh a uple, sippg jack and Coke, about how I me to know I was gay, their g out stori, and hearg om them that I was gog to be jt fe and that the sky is the told me about all of the events and activi that the LGBT muny do near me—that was one of the bt parts of the night, knowg that I'm not on my own as a gay man. Now while I'm pletely ol wh members of the glbt muny, I've hontly only ever known a handful of openly gay mal, and I would be lyg if I didn't tell you that was a b timidatg. The guy who bought me a drk was really ol though, and actually tght me a lot about the gay muny that I probably would have never known otherwise.

There was a surprisg number of straight femal there, everyone was really nice (creeper guy was a one-time al), and gettg h on by gay guys (excludg the creeper one) was pretty flatterg.

It was early afternoon and and the place was iendly and first nightclub-type gay bar I went to was Newport Statn Newport Beach. Am too old to al wh a t box and the 3 flights of stairs to get to the trash I beme sgle my 50's, had been 30 years sce I went to gay bars.

GAY BARS NEAR ME

Explore gay Mosw wh Mr Hudson. The bt of Mosw for the discerng gay man. Where to sleep, eat, drk, shop and play. * first time gay bar *

But still n't handle drkg public and end up wakg up wh whomever bought me my last drk -- ually another bottom like me, who ends up beg another Facebook at 61, I n't be bothered to even take a b or Uber 20 blocks away to the Elrgay/Bear bars The Castro, only to bump to bter ex's of some sort or guys I met on apps or onle and cshed on who jt weren't to me. I remember my first night there, an old guy on a bar stool the back area stoppg me as I walked by to tell me I looked like a nice kid and to stay out of gay bars bee they’d ‘ my life’.

FOR THE LOVE OF GAY BARS

Jane Lynch, Alexanr Wang, Rosie O’Donnell and others reflect on what gay bars mean to them, the aftermath of the shootg Orlando, Fla. * first time gay bar *

I didn’t heed his advice of urse and met my now partner there at The Dock a year later 1989 We started chattg about B-52’s when ‘Love Shack’ was playg…and was gay love at first sight. Early 70's as an unraged gaylg to olr guys, I disvered that if I stood outsi the entrance to a certa bar on Clark Street Chigo, someone would sneak me past the guy rdg ctomers at the ont door.

I was 23 and jt out to gay iends and they took me on a whirlwd tour of all the bars DC that Anonymoreply 104July 16, 2022 3:18 PM. It was one of the first gay bars to have large wdows facg the Alta Plaza was a "sweater bar" the 1980's, populated by Macy's Queens who spent all their money on clothg, wh a smatterg of pretent Anonymoreply 109July 16, 2022 6:45 PM.

I went to plenty of trendy dance clubs Dallas that were filled wh a gay and gay iendly crowd, even met boyiends had gay experienc, long before I set foot an official “gay bar, ” which hontly felt Anonymoreply 110July 16, 2022 6:50 PM. I've never been a gay bar, but there was one Evansville, IN lled Someplace Else, looked pretty sketchy om the outsi, I don't thk exists Anonymoreply 121July 17, 2022 3:19 AM?

STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS

It wasn't my first but I fondly rell "The Church" Denver/Boulr, wasn't specifilly a gay club yet gays and lbians seemed to be the majory the 90s but wh the riseof Marilyn Manson racist and homophobic kiddiegoths vad, the same had happened pretty much everywhere wh vaguely goth clubs ak to how punk took a siar turn the 80s. The Mother Load WeHoI was slightly unrage, but IDs were jt typed out then, and I was born July, so the “7” beme a “2” wh a ltle black pen, and I got 5 extra months of gay bars up Anonymoreply 129July 17, 2022 3:04 PM.

GAY MOSW MOSW CY GUI

I was terrified, and ultimately my terror me te when I saw people om work there, a closeted gay guy and a woman who were "stoppg jt for fun. I never much liked slicker gay bars where the emphasis was on drsg up and dancg and travellg ltle cliqu and basilly anythg but fuckg.

‘MY FIRST GAY BAR’: RACHEL MADDOW, ANDY COHEN AND OTHERS SHARE THEIR COMG-OUT STORI

Unlike 's dgy, dark Uncle Charlie's [Miami] first gay bar I went to NYC was 1987, and was the appropriately named The Monster on Christopher St. When I went to "Kiss" Ronkonkoma I was still closeted (I was 27, not 28 as I typed) and went wh a gay guy I worked wh and said I was cur what a gay bar was like.

I had never seen so many gay men before my episo began my g out procs, and later that year wh the same guy om work, I walked to 'Marie's Crisis' as a 'straight' man and walked out a gay man. Had been to many gay bars between ag 18 and 21 SF and San Jose, but had my first "legal drk" on my 21st birthday 1983 at a swanky piano bar Pacific Heights San Francis lled The Pacific Exchange, mid-week, on a grim ray Wter night, when "gay ncer" headled the lol gay prs.

I picked up one of the ee gay mags there one night, and disvered the world of gay bars Manhattan, and the rt is, as they say, Anonymoreply 169July 23, 2022 7:28 AM.

THE 5 BEST MOSW GAY CLUBS & BARSSEE ALL THGS TO DOGAY CLUBS & BARS MOSW

" Why I thought a gay bar a small cy would be hoppg at 2PM on a weekday is somethg that I'll never Anonymoreply 174July 24, 2022 2:28 AM. We went to bars ocsnally, fot the nam, Club Cafe and Ramrod, others…they were a ltle more than meh, but got more actn on mp NYC sce and my gay iends don’t go to gay bars.

I live near the borr between KY/IN and the only gay bar I ever knew of is gone now, I thk, was lled "Someplace Else" Anonymoreply 211November 20, 2022 11:16 PM.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* FIRST TIME GAY BAR

'Gay Bar: Why We Went Out' Go Beyond Tradnal Queer Bar Stori .

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