When do gay kids start "actg gay"?

Contents:

• OUR SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON TOLD HE WAS GAY
• HOW DO I DISCS BEG GAY WH MY 8-YEAR-OLD?
• WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• YOUR 9-YEAR-OLD THKS SHE'S GAY

OUR SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON TOLD HE WAS GAY

He took a be of chicken and announced, his matter-of-fact way, “I hope you know I’m gay.

HOW DO I DISCS BEG GAY WH MY 8-YEAR-OLD?

In a flood of words, he told me he wanted to tell his iends that he was gay— felt like he was keepg a secret om them, and when he thought about too much, ma him feel heart ached, and I wished I uld rewd to the time when kiss and cuddl fixed absolutely everythg. ” to “Who are you gay wh?

So when another stunt said somethg to him like, “Well, at least I’m not gay! Q: My 8-year-old son asked what means to be gay. This might sound somethg like, "Sometim men fall love wh men and women fall love wh women - when they do, we ll a 'gay' relatnship.

WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

" The qutn of why is lled gay is a whole different story, but the good news is that when you don't know the answer to a qutn, is perfectly fe to simply say, "You know, I don't know the answer to that! " Some parents may fear that if they tell their younger children that "gay" is what means when people of the same genr are attracted to each other that they will be forced to answer qutns about sexual relatns between same sex upl, but my experience that is rarely the se - don't occur to most kids that age to ask. Some parents also fear that tellg a younger child that sometim men are attracted to men and women are attracted to women will put ias their kids' heads about "beg gay" themselv.

When do gay kids start “actg gay”? A Mnota school district is facg a Department of Jtice vtigatn and a private lawsu over s alleged failure to bat antigay bullyg. When do gay children start exhibg telltale signs?

A hefty pile of rearch shows that boys as young as 3 years old who break om tradnal genr rol have a high likelihood of beg gay adults.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

) The relatnship isn’t one-to-one, however, and ’s certaly not the se that all boys who love Barbie dolls will later intify as gay. The rrelatn is much weaker the other directn: A disproportnate number of boys who don’t nform to genr stereotyp turn out to be gay men, but lots of gay men played wh G. Thirty of them beme gay or bisexual adults while jt one child om a 34-member genr-nformg ntrol group turned out to be gay.

The subjects who strayed the most om nventnally boyish behavr were the most likely to be gay. There is no magil age at which children adopt stereotypilly gay behavr and keep to adulthood. Some mothers tell psychologists that they sensed their ltle boy was gay durg fancy.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

Some rearchers thk genr nonnformg children e their toys to rehearse for a gay adulthood. Gay 3-year-old boys n’t verbalize their sire to be wh a man when they grow up—although many such children exhib cshlike behavr toward adult men—but they may be tryg to learn the behavr that will later attract a male partner.

Both lbians and gay men often have a history of cross-sex-typed behavrs: ltle boys beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg. Prehomosexual boys tend to be more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer. Children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy.

The behavral patterns are feared, loathed and often spoken of directly as harbgers of adult homosexualy.

YOUR 9-YEAR-OLD THKS SHE'S GAY

It is only relatively recently, however, that velopmental scientists have nducted ntrolled studi to intify the earlit and most reliable signs of adult homosexualy. In lookg refully at the childhoods of gay adults, rearchers are fdg an trigug set of behavral ditors that homosexuals seem to have mon.

Curly enough, the age-old homophobic fears of many parents reflect some genue predictive currency. Zucker, both psychologists, published a semal paper on childhood markers of homosexualy 1995. So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg.