Internatnal OCD Foundatn | How Do I Know I’m Not Really Gay/Straight?

Contents:

• ARE YOU GAY OR STRAIGHT?
• I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.
• AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH
• SYNONYMS FOR NOT GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT

ARE YOU GAY OR STRAIGHT?

Jt for funI'm spic that I may be gayI've never had a csh on anyone, and am unsure where I lie on the spectm of sexualyWhat would your ial partner be if you two are gog to spend a week on an island? Havg sex wh the person I love mostCuddlg wh the person I love mostJt beg next to the person I love mostHangg out wh iends / beg aloneHow would you feel if your bt iend me out as gay?

Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr. Sexual behavr simply refers to what you've done sexually – someone n be lbian, gay, bisexual or straight regardls of their sexual behavr.

Bulli teased me for beg gay when I was younger, but when a six-year-old boy lls another six-year-old boy gay, he means “weird” or “gross, ” not “has sex wh men. I need somethg that means “mostly gay but not fully mted and open to other possibili, ” but, alas, such a niche label has yet to be imaged. If your dreams or sexual fantasi are curly lackg men, or if you aren’t able to visualize men or pleasurable experienc when you daydream (even if you’re a relatnship wh one or have been wh one long-term), you may be attracted women, and you uld be gay.

I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.

You see gay people that are out and proud, exprsg queer joy wh their partner, and feels warm and bright and ronat somewhere ep and joyful wh you. The ratg sl aim to classify people not as "gay" or "straight" but rather dite that most people do not experience exclively gay or straight experienc.

Most people, regardls as to their sexual inty, do experience both homosexual and heterosexual feelgs and/or behavrs at different tim their liv. It n be hard for some people to know whether or not they are gay, but 's important to remember that cidg you are gay is a personal cisn and not a clil one. Some people that have homosexual experienc ntue not to intify as gay while others that have never had a homosexual experience and rather, jt have homosexual feelgs, may ll themselv gay.

AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?

"Wh time, someone who is gay will realize that not only are they sexually attracted to members of the same sex, but that this attractn is not transnal, or as often scribed 'jt a phase'. However, the difficulti associated wh acceptg the feelgs and g out gay mean that many gay people don't intify themselv as gay until later on life.

There was a recent high profile story the news about an 11-year-old boy who mted suici, apparently bee he uld no longer tolerate beg lled “gay. In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. ” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt. Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight).

Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you). However, along the l of sexualy beg fluid, I feel that while there are certaly people who are jt attracted to people of the same genr or a different genr (or asexual), most people fall somewhere on a broad spectm between gay and straight (and beyond!

SYNONYMS FOR NOT GAY

Likewise, we don't want or need people who re about but do not re for our sexual orientatn, such as a well-tentned parent, to tell they are relieved that we, fact, not gay. Our two ma articl on this very topic, The Be Be: A Homosexualy and Bisexualy Primer and Bi the Dozen: A Bisexualy Quiz addrs this que extensively.

Speakg of articl, I'd also suggt readg The Makgs of a Homo on a young guy intifyg as gay (I realize you are beyond this step your personal journey, but you still might fd tertg) and well as Makg Sense of Sexual Media. Gay, straight, bi or beyond, the articl Supermol: Creatg & Nurturg Your Own Bt Relatnship Mols and Pothol & Dead Ends: Relatnship Roadblocks to Look Out For brg up important relatnship nsiratns. As I allud to a b the first part of my rponse, when you're queer, n be hard to claim that inty, form that muny and more; beg gay be a huge part of who you are.

Naturally, bee of Spicly Specific Denial, many people will terpret this as a se of Transparent Closet whether the character is gay or not. G., Wholome Crossdrser) as a way of lampshadg that the character do not nform to stereotyp like Trans Equals Gay, is not a Drag Queen, etc. For a character nstantly remdg everyone they are gay but gettg to a lot of heterosexual suatns (or no suatns at all), see Have I Mentned I Am Gay?.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

Even though his Homoerotic Subtext wh Ak is through the roof, and the two are actually seen rollg around on a bed together wh their pants undone. " He do, however, state that he was clearly supposed to be gay, but whatever angel was charge of puttg him together before he was born jt fot to flip that swch before sendg him down to Earth. "I hope I didn't ffle any feathers, but as an openly gay edian I feel a rponsibily to talk about a lot of issu that — what, are you gonna tt me?

'" where he asks his homophobic iend a seri of qutns about his tast porn until he fally adms, to his own surprise, that he lik to see big, hard, throbbg cks. Deadpool cracks jok about his Ho Yay wh people half the time, and spends the other half sayg homoerotic stuff about Cable/Weasel/Spir-Man/Thor, only to immediately sist that he's straight. Wanted starts wh one of the: a character who we are rmed is the world's bt assass is givg a pletely explible monologue to a pair of male prostut explag, at length, that jt bee he is about to have sex wh them don't mean he's gay, far om , 's jt that he has sex wh soooooooo many women every day and every night all the time bangg hot bab nonstop that he lik to ocsnally bang dus jt to remd himself of how much he lik the ladi.

Kate Bishop has a moment of this at the end of Volume 2 of Young Avengers, where she wonrs out loud if she's the token straight of the Cast Full of Gay. Marik nstantly ni that he's gay, spe a penchant for The Ltle Mermaid (1989), tight cloth, and his evil BFF Bakura, as well as a fondns for readg yaoi. Yuei starts the movie by assurg Jack that likg Top Gun isn't gay, as how uld a movie about men llg each other cute nicknam, playg half-naked volleyball, and ridg phallic vehicl at high speed be anythg but straight?

I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

An Image Spot the My Ltle Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic Progrs has Rabow Dash loudly proclaim that she's not gay and that she'll "do every lt Equtria to prove ". As the narrator is a blatant Author Avatar, we n fer that the same go for the thor — though you should be able to figure that out anyway om the homophobic ntent. Fanfic The Harmony Trap featur a male bank teller lookg at the bank's secury guards and tellg himself that he's not gay, he jt lik uniforms...

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

In The Journey Begs Cormac mak equent remarks about his not beg gay, due to his mother's firm belief that he is and the rultant teasg by actually-gay iends.

Whenever Sara of Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh From God refers to her bt iend (or another female character) as pretty, she immediately follows up wh "not bee I'm a lbian or anythg, homosexualy is wrong! Played wh Wh Pearl and Ruby Glowg: Rudi actually is straight, but is asslted by Heteronormative Csars for beg a ballero and th supposedly a "sissy", after which he velops a pulsn to have sex wh as many girls as possible to make clear to himself and others that he's not gay so no one will asslt him aga. Played for drama Eastern Promis where Kirill, the closeted son of The Don, sperately tri to cultivate a reputatn as a liberte due to the vlently homophobic Rsian gangster culture.

In Plan B, Pablo, spe havg a very homoerotic iendship wh Bno and tellg at least one of his iends that he once slept wh another man, sists to Bno that he's never kissed or had a thg wh another man or even thought about dog .

GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT

Both men actually are straight, and had been dreamg of rng wh their wiv — but they are also early-middle-aged men the 1980s, so experience a moment of gay panic which ends wh the two puffg their chts up and begng to discs football ep manly-man voic.

Through the urse of the Star Wars sequel trilogy, a subset of fans creasgly shipped Fn and Poe as a gay uple spe of Fn havg a different female love tert each of the first two films ( the first film he's cshg on Rey, and the send he and Rose are all but explicly put together). Troy has Achill beddg numero ladi and treatg his Patrocl like a kid brother to avoid the tradnally ferred homosexual relatnship between them. Ma character Bernice Summerfield eventually realiz that Alexanr is jt gay and overpensatg wh his nial, and Alexanr's boyiend is very nfed as to why everyone thks that Alex is some kd of womanizg liberte.