Why the Mi Cooper Is Stray, Not Gay | Vany Fair

is a mini cooper gay

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WHY THE MI COOPER IS STRAY, NOT GAYBY BRETT BERKNOVEMBER 13, 2008SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEEVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A CLOSET CASE VEHICLE IS. WE’VE VERED THAT. BUT THERE’S A MORE DISCREET AND SUBVERSIVE TOMOTIVE SUB-SPECI OUT THERE THAT WE HAVEN’T YET ADDRSED: THE STRAY CAR. WE ALL KNOW A STRAY REAL LIFE, ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO—BEE OF HIS ACTNS, TERTS, AND MANNERISMS—SEEMS CIDLY HOMO, BUT IS ED GENUELY HET. (GAYISH–STRAIGHT=STRAY; APART OM THE FLOCK.) HE MANSP, EATS SALAD, AND SHOPS AT JOHN VARVATOS. HE EVEN RRI A LOUIS VUTON BARREL-BAG ON BS TRIPS. STROLLG THROUGH THE NASHVILLE AIRPORT, HE LOOKS AS QUEER AS THE DIENCE AT A PL VERHOEVEN FTIVAL. BUT AT HOME THE BERKELEY HILLS, HE LOOKS LIKE EVERY NE-YEAR-OLD’S FATHER.WHICH BRGS ME TO THE MI COOPER. BEE ’S HIGHLY STYLIZED, WELL-PACKAGED, ADORABLE, AND BRISH-ISH, MANY PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY ASSUME THAT ’S GAY. WHEN I FIRST STARTED UP STICK SHIFT, MORE THAN ONE OF MY (FEMALE) IENDS MA THIS CLAIM, NTACTG ME AND OFFERG THEIR BELOVED MIS UP AS FODR. “LOVE THE NEW LUMN,” MY IEND VELMA WROTE. “CAN’T WA UNTIL YOU WRE ABOUT MY COOPER, CLY.”WELL, SORRY TO DISAPPOT, BUT HERE’S THE BIG, HARD, THROBBG TTH: MI COOPERS ARE NOT GAY. IN FACT, I WOULD LIKE TO POS THAT MIS ARE MORE LIKE ATVS—JUVENILE BOY-TOYS, BUT FOR STRAIGHT GUYS WHO AREN’T REDNECKS. MY PROOF? BOTH VEHICL HAVE ULTRA-QUICK STEERG. BOTH ARE APPROXIMATELY THE SAME SIZE AND SHAPE. BOTH ARE DRIVEN OUT OF A GEEKY SIRE FOR DIVIDUALY AND EEDOM—ME’S YELLOW AND WHE! ME HAS A REBEL FLAG ON !—THAT ULTIMATELY ENDS UP LOOKG LIKE ANOTHER FORM OF SPERATE NFORMY (UNT THE MIS ON THE STREETS OF WILLIAMSBURG). IT’S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PILOT EHER WHOUT DONNG AN IDTIC SE, A DORKY P, OR THE RA OF SMUG ASSHOLEDOM. AND NEHER ONE IS APPROPRIATE FOR SHOWG UP AT ANY JOB TERVIEW—UNLS YOU’RE APPLYG TO BE BARBIE’S BOYIEND, KEN. WHEN I WAS WORKG ON A MAJOR RE-POSNG PROJECT FOR HOT WHEELS RECENTLY, I HAD TO NDUCT A SERI OF -HOME TERVIEWS WH BRAND LOYAL ADULTS—GROWN-UP MEN WHO STILL LLECT LTLE RS. THE GUYS ALL HAVE SPECIAL SECTNS OF THEIR BASEMENTS GIVEN OVER TO THEIR PASSN—WH HOMEMA DISPLAY S, STORAGE RACKS, AND AMED MEMORABILIA—THAT REMD ME OF THE “VICTIM ROOMS” SERIAL KILLERS BUILD MOVI. (WHENEVER I WENT ONE, I KEPT AN EX AT MY BACK.) TOWARD THE END OF THIS PROJECT, MY LLEAGUE AND I ARRIVED EARLY TO ONE OF OUR -HOM, AND STEAD OF LURKG THE LLECTOR’S DRIVEWAY AND (FURTHER) TERRORIZG HIS WIFE AND KIDS, WE PARKED DOWN THE BLOCK AND KILLED TIME, TRYG TO GUS WHICH OF THE VEHICL TURNG TO THE VELOPMENT BELONGED TO OUR SUBJECT. WE WATCHED HONDAS AND BIMMERS AND LEX ZIP BY. THEN SUDNLY AN ELECTRIC BLUE MI ME REENG THROUGH THE GAT, PILOTED BY A GRNG, CLEAN-CUT, FLAT-PPED, 40 YEAR-OLD. “BGO,” MY -WORKER SAID. SHE ROLLED HER EY. “HE EVEN DRIV A TOY R.”MOST POPULARVANY FAIR’S “IT’S RAG TEENS” COVER AT 20: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?BY SAVANNAH WALSHREMEMBERG SéAD O’CONNOR’S SUBLIME MIC AND RIGHTEO RAGEBY MIKE HOGANRED, WHE & ROYAL BLUE MAY BE “THE MOST EXPENSIVE B OF FAN FICTN EVER”BY SAVANNAH WALSHBUT WA, I N HEAR THE QUEER MI-ONS PROTTG, THE R IS PASTEL-LORED, ENVIRONMENTALLY NSC, AND NON-THREATENG TO WOMEN. I’D UNTER THAT THE SAME N BE SAID OF HAWAIIAN SHIRTS, SAW-GRASS, AND STEVE CARELL, NONE OF WHICH SHOULD H THE METER FOR ANY SELF-RPECTG FAG. STILL UNNVCED? HERE’S THE NAIL THE FF: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GAY GUY TOOLG AROUND A VEHICLE WH SOME OTHER UNTRY’S FLAG ON TOP (BIS THIS PARA FLOAT)? THIS KD OF BEHAVR IS RERVED FOR THE TEGORY OF MALE WHO ENJOYS PASSG HIS WEEKENDS WEARG DAY-GLO SOCCER JERSEYS EMBLAZONED WH ANOTHER DU’S NAME AND NATNAL LORS. IN OTHER WORDS, YOUR DGHTER’S BT IEND’S DAD.BRETT BERK

We all know a Stray real life, one of those guys who—bee of his actns, terts, and mannerisms—seems cidly homo, but is ed genuely het. (Gayish–Straight=Stray; apart om the flock.

ABBY WAMBACH REF "GAY CAR" IN AWOME NEW MI COOPER AD"YOU HAVE TO HONOR AND OWN WHO YOU ARE. PERD." {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CELEBRIBY ADAM SALANDRAFEBARY 13, 2016/1:19 PMBY ADAM SALANDRAFEBARY 13, 2016 / 1:19 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"ABBY WAMBACH REF \"GAY CAR\" IN AWOME NEW MI COOPER AD","DATEPUBLISHED":"2016-02-13T18:19:58.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2016-02-13T18:19:58.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"ADAM SALANDRA","ARTICLESECTN":"CELEBRI"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ABBY WAMBACH, THE OPENLY LBIAN SOCCER STAR WHO HELPED W THE WOMEN'S WORLD CUP FOR THE U.S. LAST SUMMER, IS SPEAKG OUT AGAST LABELS A NEW MI COOPER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AS PART OF THE PANY'S NEW #DEFYLABELS MPAIGN, WAMBACH AIR QUOT TO MOCKGLY LL A MI COOPER A "GAY R."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SHE'S JOED BY OTHER STARS LIKE SERENA WILLIAMS AND RANDY JOHNSON WHO SAY THE R IS ALSO A "CHICK R" AND "A SHORT MAN'S R."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE SPOT WAS FIRST AIRED DURG THE SUPER BOWL, AND YOU N CHECK OUT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;} .TWTER-TWEET-RENRED, {M-WIDTH:65%;WIDTH:TO !IMPORTANT;} {WIDTH:100%;} {MARG-LEFT:TO !IMPORTANT;MARG-RIGHT:TO !IMPORTANT;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;WIDTH:100%;} > IAME{BORR:NONE;MAX-WIDTH:100%;} > *{MAX-WIDTH:NONE !IMPORTANT;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MI COOPER ALSO PRODUCED A 90-SEND VIO OF WAMBACH TALKG ABOUT ALL THE DIFFERENT LABELS THAT HAVE BEEN PLACED ON HER THROUGHOUT HER LIFE, AND HOW SHE DON'T RE ABOUT ANY OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"THEY ALL ARE ME AND THEY ALL AREN'T ME," THE SOCCER STAR SAYS. "I DON'T EVER GIVE ANYBODY ELSE THE POWER TO LL ME SOMETHG AND HAVE ME BE AFFECTED BY ."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SHE NTUED, "I REALIZE WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT, AND I ACCEPTED WHO I WAS AT A PRETTY EARLY AGE, AND ONCE I ACCEPTED MYSELF AND WHO I WAS, I DIDN'T RE WHAT YOU LL ME. THE NFINCE JT ME."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}CHECK OUT HER POWERFUL WORDS THE BON SPOT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;} .TWTER-TWEET-RENRED, {M-WIDTH:65%;WIDTH:TO !IMPORTANT;} {WIDTH:100%;} {MARG-LEFT:TO !IMPORTANT;MARG-RIGHT:TO !IMPORTANT;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;WIDTH:100%;} > IAME{BORR:NONE;MAX-WIDTH:100%;} > *{MAX-WIDTH:NONE !IMPORTANT;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}H/T: OUT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

Bee ’s highly stylized, well-packaged, adorable, and Brish-ish, many people immediately assume that ’s gay.

”Well, sorry to disappot, but here’s the big, hard, throbbg tth: Mi Coopers are not gay. Here’s the nail the ff: have you ever seen a gay guy toolg around a vehicle wh some other untry’s flag on top (bis this para float)? Last summer, is speakg out agast labels a new Mi Cooper part of the pany's new #DefyLabels mpaign, Wambach air quot to mockgly ll a Mi Cooper a "gay r.

But for a recent date wh a woman, he rented a Cadillac Esla bee he was so ed to iends sayg his Miata is “gay. Geren, 40, said, addg that the ments e om gay as well as straight men.

GAY BY DIGN, OR A LIFTYLE CHOICE?

And when Joe LaMuraglia, the founr of, an rmatnal se moled on the lik of, told his partner he wanted to buy a Mi Cooper nvertible, the boyiend joked that he would not be seen bee the uple “would look like such a gay cliché, ” Mr. Cars are no more straight or gay than cellphon, office chairs or weed whackers. At a time when r makers are marketg aggrsively to gay nsumers and mastream culture has bee more lerate about stereotypilly gay tast through televisn shows like “Will & Grace” and “The L Word” (on which one of the ma characters, Alice, drove a Mi Cooper), may not be surprisg that some people make such assumptns about motorists based on their rs.

GAY MOSW · CY GUI

Ined, the extravagant displays of mcle r machismo and sensuo, high-sign femy on display this week at the New York Internatnal Auto Show at the Javs Center would seem to cry out for nstctn along genr- and sexual-inty to some people, such stereotypg is homophobia, pure and simple. A poll seekg to terme the most gay tomobil, nducted by a South Ain Web se, was a topic of heated tert last December on Gizmodo, the New York-based technology blog, where one rear wrote: “Sce when are rs gay or straight? ”Others, though, cludg gay theorists, say many gay motorists happily embrace certa rs as reflectns of inty.

” “Not all gays want to prent an image that is normative, ” she said. Ramone Johnson is a gay journalist and former Saturn engeer who pil an annual “Top 10 Gay Cars” list for, which is owned by The New York Tim Company. Johnson matas that “soft l” and a “vibrant personaly” — say like those on a Volkswagen New Beetle — are typil attribut of a gay man’s r, and fashn-forward red gg and other stylg cu, for example, make the Pontiac G6 more of a gay r than s siblg, the Grand Am, bee the featur exprs a taste for eedom and fun.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* IS A MINI COOPER GAY

Why the Mi Cooper Is Stray, Not Gay | Vany Fair.

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