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ontend-pencraft-Text-modulesize-14--Ume6q ontend-pencraft-Text-modulele-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleweight-normal--s54Wf ontend-pencraft-Text-modulefont-text--QmNJR ontend-pencraft-Text-modulelor-sendary--WRADg ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-modulebody4--Pl3xY">Not</div></button><button tabInx="0" id="trigger54787" aria-expand="false" aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-ntrols="dialog54788" ariaLabel="View more" type="button" class="button share-actn"><div class="actn-in"><svg role="img" width="100" height="100" viewBox="0 0 100 100" fill="none" stroke-width="1.8" stroke="#000" xmlns="><g><tle></tle><circle cx="23" cy="50" r="9"></circle><circle cx="50" cy="50" r="9"></circle><circle cx="77" cy="50" r="9"></circle></g></svg></div><div translated class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-modulesize-14--Ume6q ontend-pencraft-Text-modulele-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleweight-normal--s54Wf ontend-pencraft-Text-modulefont-text--QmNJR ontend-pencraft-Text-modulelor-sendary--WRADg ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-modulebody4--Pl3xY">Other</div></button></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="post-hear"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt post-label"><a href=" class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-modulesize-14--Ume6q ontend-pencraft-Text-modulele-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleweight-medium--x7khA ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-meta--U_nxy ontend-pencraft-Text-modulelor-sendary--WRADg ontend-pencraft-Text-moduletransform-upperse--IDkUL ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-modulemeta--jzHdd">Deep Div</a></div><h1 class="post-tle unpublished">Two Gay Che Dads. One Long and Wdg Trip to Fatherhood.</h1><h3 class="subtle">Their journey starts a untry where gay marriage and surrogacy are illegal, and spans four years, two ntents, and hundreds of thoands of dollars—all to get a kid of their own.</h3><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk ontend-pencraft-Box-modulepaddg-bottom-16--KVxKv"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk ontend-pencraft-Box-modulepaddg-y-16--ohCEm"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-jtify-start--_8fEd ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-gap-12--rODKq"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-modulesize-11--k1e8b ontend-pencraft-Text-modulele-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleweight-medium--x7khA ontend-pencraft-Text-modulefont-meta--U_nxy ontend-pencraft-Text-modulelor-pub-primary-text--RzL7j ontend-pencraft-Text-moduletransform-upperse--IDkUL ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-modulemeta--jzHdd"><div class="profile-hover-rd-target ontend-rear2-ProfileAndPublitnHoverCard-module__profileHoverCardTarget--Od_YL"><a href=" class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleratn-hover-unrle--BEYAn ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ">Zeyi Yang</a></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-gap-4--zeW5_"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-modulesize-11--k1e8b ontend-pencraft-Text-modulele-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleweight-medium--x7khA ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-meta--U_nxy ontend-pencraft-Text-modulelor-pub-sendary-text--OzRTa ontend-pencraft-Text-moduletransform-upperse--IDkUL ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-modulemeta--jzHdd">Jan 16, 2020</div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-modulesize-11--k1e8b ontend-pencraft-Text-modulele-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleweight-medium--x7khA ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-meta--U_nxy ontend-pencraft-Text-modulelor-pub-sendary-text--OzRTa ontend-pencraft-Text-moduletransform-upperse--IDkUL ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-modulemeta--jzHdd">∙ Paid</div></div></div></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflexGrow--mx4xz ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-jtify-space-between--NvIcg ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-gap-16--TpblU ontend-pencraft-Box-modulepaddg-y-16--ohCEm ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleborr-top-tail-themed--e17yZ ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleborr-bottom-tail-themed--eVwFY post-ufi"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-gap-8--HFpIK"><div class="like-button-ntaer post-ufi-button style-button"><a role="button" class="post-ufi-button style-button no-label wh-borr"><svg role="img" style="height: 20px; 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One Long and Wdg Trip to Fatherhood.</h4><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-modulesize-14--Ume6q ontend-pencraft-Text-modulele-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleweight-normal--s54Wf ontend-pencraft-Text-modulefont-text--QmNJR ontend-pencraft-Text-modulelor-sendary--WRADg ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-modulebody4--Pl3xY"></div></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-moduledisplay-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-jtify-space-between--NvIcg ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleflex-gap-8--HFpIK share-dialog-buttons-wrapper"><button tabInx="0" type="button" class="button share-actn"><div class="actn-in"><svg role="img" width="20" height="16" viewBox="0 0 20 16" fill="none" stroke-width="1.8" stroke="#000" xmlns="><g><tle></tle><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M12.1303 0.000379039C10.9833 -0.00959082 9.87819 0.431464 9.05309 1.22855L9.04556 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class="image-lk image2" target="_blank" href=" data-ponent-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-set image2-full-screen"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" /><img src=" data-attrs="{"src":"" class="sizg-fullscreen" alt srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" fetchprry="high" /></picture><div></div></div></a><h5><strong>Photos by Gráne Qulan | Eded by Brendan Spiegel</strong></h5><p>Before Qiguang Li uld pass through ctoms and step onto U.S. soil for the first time, he faced a three-hour tentn where he learned that he need to be more ndid about his inty. It was September 2015, after a long flight om Shanghai to Los Angel. Li me wh another man, Wei Xu, who asked a U.S. Ctoms and Borr Protectn (CBP) officer whether the two of them uld go through the borr screeng together. “What’s your relatnship?” asked the officer. They said they were iends. “Then you n’t.”</p><p>So, Xu went first and passed the screeng. He fot one important thg though: Li’s travel documents were Xu’s bag. Li, 37 at the time, spoke poorer English and uldn’t properly expla to the officer what had happened. After a while of anx wag, Xu returned to the checkpot to look for Li, still unaware of his mistake, and they were both sent to a room for addnal screeng.</p><p>In the sendary screeng…</p></div></div><div data-ttid="paywall" data-ponent-name="Paywall" class="paywall"><h2 class="paywall-tle">Keep readg wh a 7-day ee trial</h2><div class="paywall-ee-trial-subtle"><p translated class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleret--dW0zZ paywall-subtle">Subscribe to <div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-moduleret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-moduleweight-bold--Ps9DB ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-style-alic--pVGY_ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ">Narratively</div> to keep readg this post and get 7 days of ee accs to the full post archiv.</p></div><div class="paywall-cta"><a href=" native><button tabInx="0" type="button" class="button subscribe-btn">Start trial</button></a></div><div class="paywall-log"><a href=" native>Already a paid subscriber? <b>Sign </b></a></div></div><div class="post-footer e-separators post-ufi themed next-prev"><div><a role="button" class="post-ufi-button style-button has-label wh-borr"><svg role="img" style="height: 20px; width: 20px;" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="#000000" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="#000" xmlns=" class="in"><g><tle>

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SUBSCRIBESIGN {"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","URL":","MAENTYOFPAGE":","HEADLE":"TWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO FATHERHOOD.","SCRIPTN":"THEIR JOURNEY STARTS A UNTRY WHERE GAY MARRIAGE AND SURROGACY ARE ILLEGAL, AND SPANS FOUR YEARS, TWO NTENTS, AND HUNDREDS OF THOANDS OF DOLLARS\U2014ALL TO GET A KID OF THEIR OWN.","IMAGE":[{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":"}],"DATEPUBLISHED":"2020-01-16T00:00:21+00:00","DATEMODIFIED":"2020-01-16T00:00:21+00:00","ISACCSIBLEFORFREE":FALSE,"THOR":[{"@TYPE":"PERSON","NAME":"ZEYI YANG","URL":","SCRIPTN":NULL,"INTIFIER":"ER:146413207"}],"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"NARRATIVELY","URL":","SCRIPTN":"DISVER EXTRAORDARY TE STORI CELEBRATG THE DIVERSY OF HUMANY.","TERACTNSTATISTIC":{"@TYPE":"INTERACTNCOUNTER","NAME":"SUBSCRIBERS","TERACTNTYPE":","ERINTERACTNCOUNT":10000},"INTIFIER":"PUB:1404134","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"}}}SHARE THIS POSTTWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO COPY LKFACEBOOKEMAILNOTOTHERDEEP DIVTWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO FATHERHOOD.
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CHARRATIVESUBSCRIBESIGN {"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","URL":","MAENTYOFPAGE":","HEADLE":"TWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO FATHERHOOD","SCRIPTN":"NO. 39","IMAGE":[{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":"}],"DATEPUBLISHED":"2020-03-02T12:45:43+00:00","DATEMODIFIED":"2020-03-02T12:45:43+00:00","ISACCSIBLEFORFREE":TE,"THOR":[{"@TYPE":"PERSON","NAME":"COLUM MURPHY","URL":","SCRIPTN":"BLOOMBERG ERNMENT REPORTER BEIJG @COLUM_M. NONFICTN FAN. I LIKE TO SHARE LONG-FORM STORI OM AND ABOUT CHA VIA MY CHARRATIVE NEWSLETTER. ","INTIFIER":"ER:18504","SAMEAS":["],"IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"}}],"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"CHARRATIVE","URL":","SCRIPTN":"IN-PTH STORYTELLG OM AND ABOUT CHA. ","TERACTNSTATISTIC":{"@TYPE":"INTERACTNCOUNTER","NAME":"SUBSCRIBERS","TERACTNTYPE":","ERINTERACTNCOUNT":1000},"INTIFIER":"PUB:1159","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"SAMEAS":["]}}SHARE THIS POSTTWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO COPY LKFACEBOOKEMAILNOTOTHERTWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO FATHERHOOD

SUBSCRIBESIGN {"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","URL":","MAENTYOFPAGE":","HEADLE":"TWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO FATHERHOOD.","SCRIPTN":"THEIR JOURNEY STARTS A UNTRY WHERE GAY MARRIAGE AND SURROGACY ARE ILLEGAL, AND SPANS FOUR YEARS, TWO NTENTS, AND HUNDREDS OF THOANDS OF DOLLARS\U2014ALL TO GET A KID OF THEIR OWN.","IMAGE":[{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":"}],"DATEPUBLISHED":"2020-01-16T00:00:21+00:00","DATEMODIFIED":"2020-01-16T00:00:21+00:00","ISACCSIBLEFORFREE":FALSE,"THOR":[{"@TYPE":"PERSON","NAME":"ZEYI YANG","URL":","SCRIPTN":NULL,"INTIFIER":"ER:146413207"}],"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"NARRATIVELY","URL":","SCRIPTN":"DISVER EXTRAORDARY TE STORI CELEBRATG THE DIVERSY OF HUMANY.","TERACTNSTATISTIC":{"@TYPE":"INTERACTNCOUNTER","NAME":"SUBSCRIBERS","TERACTNTYPE":","ERINTERACTNCOUNT":10000},"INTIFIER":"PUB:1404134","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"}}}SHARE THIS POSTTWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO COPY LKFACEBOOKEMAILNOTOTHERDEEP DIVTWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO FATHERHOOD.

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Some seek a long-term love tert, some a one-time sex partner, others crimalized homosexualy 1997 and removed om s official list of mental illns four years later. Though same-sex marriage has not been legalized, Che media regularly report on high-profile gay home weddgs and gay upl gettg marriage certifit the Uned for many gay Che, is still difficult to buck social prsure to fd a spoe of the oppose sex and have children. Confucian iology mak no allowanc for homosexualy, and there are no legal protectns agast discrimatn.

CHARRATIVESUBSCRIBESIGN {"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","URL":","MAENTYOFPAGE":","HEADLE":"TWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO FATHERHOOD","SCRIPTN":"NO. 39","IMAGE":[{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":"}],"DATEPUBLISHED":"2020-03-02T12:45:43+00:00","DATEMODIFIED":"2020-03-02T12:45:43+00:00","ISACCSIBLEFORFREE":TE,"THOR":[{"@TYPE":"PERSON","NAME":"COLUM MURPHY","URL":","SCRIPTN":"BLOOMBERG ERNMENT REPORTER BEIJG @COLUM_M. NONFICTN FAN. I LIKE TO SHARE LONG-FORM STORI OM AND ABOUT CHA VIA MY CHARRATIVE NEWSLETTER. ","INTIFIER":"ER:18504","SAMEAS":["],"IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"}}],"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"CHARRATIVE","URL":","SCRIPTN":"IN-PTH STORYTELLG OM AND ABOUT CHA. ","TERACTNSTATISTIC":{"@TYPE":"INTERACTNCOUNTER","NAME":"SUBSCRIBERS","TERACTNTYPE":","ERINTERACTNCOUNT":1000},"INTIFIER":"PUB:1159","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"SAMEAS":["]}}SHARE THIS POSTTWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO COPY LKFACEBOOKEMAILNOTOTHERTWO GAY CHE DADS. ONE LONG AND WDG TRIP TO FATHERHOOD

The crowds are agg: Thanks to onle gay datg apps, fewer young men e to the park.

“Nobody outsi knows I’m gay. He admisters ee HIV/AIDS tts, hands out ndoms and livers what he lls one-on-one “homosexual 101” ssns. Topics clu cheatg heartbreakers, gay inty and how AIDS is and his five-person volunteer group have mimal ntact wh their ernment sponsors.

Che media equently portray HIV/AIDS as a “gay disease, ” even though natnal statistics show heterosexual sex was the route of transmissn 66% of new s reported the first 10 months of 2014.

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One Long and Wdg Trip to Fatherhood</h1><h3 class="subtle">No. 39</h3><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-bottom-16--KVxKv"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-y-16--ohCEm"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-jtify-start--_8fEd ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-12--rODKq"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__size-11--k1e8b ontend-pencraft-Text-module__le-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-medium--x7khA ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-meta--U_nxy ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-pub-primary-text--RzL7j ontend-pencraft-Text-module__transform-upperse--IDkUL ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__meta--jzHdd"><div class="profile-hover-rd-target ontend-rear2-ProfileAndPublitnHoverCard-module__profileHoverCardTarget--Od_YL"><a href=" class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ratn-hover-unrle--BEYAn ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ">Colum Murphy</a></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-4--zeW5_"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__size-11--k1e8b ontend-pencraft-Text-module__le-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-medium--x7khA ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-meta--U_nxy ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-pub-sendary-text--OzRTa ontend-pencraft-Text-module__transform-upperse--IDkUL ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__meta--jzHdd">Mar 2, 2020</div></div></div></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flexGrow--mx4xz ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-jtify-space-between--NvIcg ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-16--TpblU ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-y-16--ohCEm ontend-pencraft-Box-module__borr-top-tail-themed--e17yZ ontend-pencraft-Box-module__borr-bottom-tail-themed--eVwFY post-ufi"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-8--HFpIK"><div class="like-button-ntaer post-ufi-button style-button"><a role="button" class="post-ufi-button style-button has-label wh-borr"><svg role="img" style="height: 20px; 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class="label">Share</div></a></div></div></div></div><div class="visibily-check"></div><div class class><div class="available-ntent"><div dir="to" class="body markup"><p><span>Hello. This edn featur a short excerpt om a story by Che journalist Zeyi Yang. It tells how two gay men om Cha traveled to the Uned Stat search of a surrogate mother to start their own fay. The uple — Qiguang Li and Wei Xu — now have a son. </span><br /><br /><span>This piece was origally published by our iends at New York-based </span><a href=" rel>Narratively</a><span>. It has much to say about changg fay valu Che society and specifilly about same-sex parenthood. To read s entirety please scroll to the end of this newsletter for a lk. </span><br /><br /><span>The ronavis is still at the foreont of our mds and we’re planng to revis the topic a forthg issue. In the meantime, this tale of termatn and hope seems appropriate to lnch to sprg. </span><br /><br /><span>Follow on </span><a href=" rel>Facebook</a><span> and </span><a href=" rel>Twter</a><span>. Past issu are archived </span><a href=" rel>here</a><span>. Check out our </span><a href=" rel>webse</a><span>. Thoughts, story ias? We n be reached at </span><a href="" rel></a><span>. </span><br /></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{"url":" Charrative","actn":null,"class":null}" data-ponent-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href=" rel><span>Share Charrative</span></a></p><a class="image-lk is-viewable-img image2" target="_blank" href=" data-ponent-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-set"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" /><img src=" width="1320" height="880" data-attrs="{"src":"" class="sizg-normal" alt srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" fetchprry="high" /></picture><div class="image-lk-expand"><svg xmlns=" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="#FFFFFF" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-maximize2"><polyle pots="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyle><polyle pots="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyle><le x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></le><le x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></le></svg></div></div></a><h5><em><strong>Photo: Gráne Qulan</strong></em></h5><h2 class="hear-wh-anchor-widget"><strong>Two Gay Che Dads. One Long and Wdg Trip to Fatherhood</strong><div id="§two-gay-che-dads-one-long-and-wdg-trip-to-fatherhood" class="hear-anchor-widget offset-top"><div class="hear-anchor-widget-button-ntaer"><div href=" class="hear-anchor-widget-button"><svg xmlns=" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="hear-anchor-widget-in"><path d="M10 13a5 5 0 0 0 7.54.54l3-3a5 5 0 0 0-7.07-7.07l-1.72 1.71"></path><path d="M14 11a5 5 0 0 0-7.54-.54l-3 3a5 5 0 0 0 7.07 7.07l1.71-1.71"></path></svg></div></div></div></h2><p><em><strong>By Zeyi Yang</strong></em><span> </span><br /><br /><span>Before Qiguang Li uld pass through ctoms and step onto U.S. soil for the first time, he faced a three-hour tentn where he learned that he need to be more ndid about his inty. It was September 2015, after a long flight om Shanghai to Los Angel. Li me wh another man, Wei Xu, who asked a U.S. Ctoms and Borr Protectn (CBP) officer whether the two of them uld go through the borr screeng together. </span></p><p>“What’s your relatnship?” asked the officer. They said they were iends. “Then you n’t.”</p><p>So, Xu went first and passed the screeng. He fot one important thg though: Li’s travel documents were Xu’s bag. Li, 37 at the time, spoke poorer English and uldn’t properly expla to the officer what had happened. After a while of anx wag, Xu returned to the checkpot to look for Li, still unaware of his mistake, and they were both sent to a room for addnal screeng.</p><p>In the sendary screeng room — monly referred to by Che travelers as the “small dark room” — Xu and Li waed almost three hours, believg that they would be nied entry. An officer asked them why one’s documents were the hands of the other. Xu kept explag that they were very close iends, until at one pot the officer asked, “Are you two partners?”</p><p>“Y,” Xu admted.</p><p>And then everythg changed. Xu learned that if they had said they were partners om the begng, they would have been allowed to go through borr ntrol together, avoidg all the drama. “But we felt kd of ashamed to say that,” he rells.</p><p>The unexpected cint was the prelu to a refully planned trip to another untry where their sexualy was much more accepted than at home. There were a few other thgs they didn’t mentn to the CBP officers. Li and Xu, a gay uple who have been together sce 2007, would walk out of the airport, get married two days later Los Angel, and, more important, start their journey toward parenthood.</p><p>From 2015 to 2018, Li and Xu ma four transpacific trips as part of their gtatnal surrogacy procs. They traveled nearly 50,000 , spent more than $200,000, and went through untls days of distrs, all to fulfill the dream of havg their own fay.</p><p>An creasg number of Che gay men, like Li and Xu, are travelg thoands of and spendg hundreds of thoands of dollars to pursue a dream that is impossible at home. Like Li and Xu, many of them refer to their surrogacy procs as their “journey.”</p><p><span>Xu and Li met Shanghai on Nov. 15, 2007. They both grew up ral Cha before movg to big ci. They’d chatted onle and had a few phone lls, but when they met person, was love at first sight. By 2014 they owned two properti together and had jt started a small bs, a dry cleaners Shanghai. Bee gay upl are not allowed to marry or adopt Cha, they started thkg about surrogacy. Li was 36; Xu had jt turned 30.</span><br /></p><a class="image-lk is-viewable-img image2" target="_blank" href=" data-ponent-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-set"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" /><img src=" width="1320" height="440" data-attrs="{"src":"" class="sizg-normal" alt srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" loadg="lazy" /></picture><div class="image-lk-expand"><svg xmlns=" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="#FFFFFF" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-maximize2"><polyle pots="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyle><polyle pots="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyle><le x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></le><le x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></le></svg></div></div></a><p><em><strong>Photo: Gráne Qulan. Left, Xu hugs his son, Diego, at their apartment Cha, 2019. Right, Xu and Li read to their son. </strong></em></p><p><span>For this story, I spoke to a dozen gay Che men who have begun or pleted surrogacy the Uned Stat. Almost all of them started nsirg between the ag of 30 and 40, and they often discsed how one needs to be extremely voted to the ia of havg his own child before embarkg on the lengthy and often excciatg surrogacy journey. But they also often mentned </span><em>mianzi</em><span>, the nuanced Che ncept that lerally translat to “face” but also means social standg and digny. Li says that for many gay men, the strong ph for babi om the elr generatn. </span></p><p><span>The social and cultural norm Cha, hered om thoands of years of patriarchal tradns, is that havg a scendant of your own blood is necsary for a good life. Although this ia is unr fierce attacks om some Cha’s younger generatn, still ronat wh many young Che people, cludg some gay men who are asked, or volunteer, to have a child to protect the </span><em>mianzi</em><span> of their parents and themselv.</span></p><p>For some of the parents, that means gog as far as phg their sons to the surrogacy journey. David Wang, a sgle, gay man of 28, livg the southwtern provce of Sichuan, says took years for his parents to accept his sexualy after he me out 2013. But once they had, his parents offered to pay for all of the expens of surrogacy — if he would start as soon as possible.</p><p><span>“My parents’ ma argument was that they don’t want me to end up agg alone,” says Wang, who was sgle and hant at the time. He eventually nced to his parents’ wish and ma through the bumpy surrogacy journey as a sgle father. In Febary 2019, Wang and his mother flew to Atlanta to be at the birth of his son and take him back home.</span><br /><br /><span>Dr. Guy Rgler, a physician wh California Fertily Partners, tours Cha to give medil nsultatns about surrogacy. His patients clu one of the untry’s most fluential gay figur, Ma Baoli, founr of the world’s biggt gay datg app, Blued.</span><br /><br /><span>“I have several patients who told me that they me out to their parents after their baby was born,” says Dr. Rgler, who is a gay dad through surrogacy himself. “And they said that was so much easier bee the parents don’t re anymore. Bee they have grandchildren, ’s not that big of a al anymore.”</span><br /></p><a class="image-lk is-viewable-img image2" target="_blank" href=" data-ponent-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-set"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" /><img src=" width="1320" height="880" data-attrs="{"src":"" class="sizg-normal" alt srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" loadg="lazy" /></picture><div class="image-lk-expand"><svg xmlns=" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="#FFFFFF" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-maximize2"><polyle pots="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyle><polyle pots="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyle><le x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></le><le x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></le></svg></div></div></a><p><em><strong>Photo: Gráne Qulan. Ultrasound imag of Xu and Li’s baby, 2018. </strong></em><strong><br /></strong><span>Xu and Li were a siar suatn. Li has a brother, which signifintly eased his prsure om the fay; Xu don’t, so they ma the cisn that their first child would be Xu’s blogil son.</span></p><p><span>Xu didn’t e out to his parents until midway through the surrogacy procs, when, after two trips to the Uned Stat, he felt unable to nceal anymore. It was a smooth g out. The parents soon joed the excement over a prospective baby. The uple’s cisn to have a child beme the tie between two generatns.</span><br /><br /><span>To ntue readg, please click </span><a href=" rel>here</a><span>. </span><br /><br /><strong>Eded by: Brendan Spiegel</strong></p></div></div><div class="visibily-check"></div><div class="post-footer"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flexGrow--mx4xz ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-jtify-space-between--NvIcg ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-16--TpblU ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-y-16--ohCEm ontend-pencraft-Box-module__borr-top-tail-themed--e17yZ ontend-pencraft-Box-module__borr-bottom-tail-themed--eVwFY post-ufi"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-8--HFpIK"><div class="like-button-ntaer post-ufi-button style-button"><a role="button" class="post-ufi-button style-button has-label wh-borr"><svg role="img" style="height: 20px; width: 20px;" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="#000000" stroke-width="2" stroke="#000" xmlns=" class="in"><g><tle></tle><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-heart"><path d="M19 14c1.49-1.46 3-3.21 3-5.5A5.5 5.5 0 0 0 16.5 3c-1.76 0-3 .5-4.5 2-1.5-1.5-2.74-2-4.5-2A5.5 5.5 0 0 0 2 8.5c0 2.3 1.5 4.05 3 5.5l7 7Z"></path></svg></g></svg><div class="label">1</div></a><div ert role="dialog" class="modal typography out gone share-dialog popup"><div class="modal-table"><div class="modal-row"><div class="modal-cell modal-ntent no-fullscreen"><div class="ntaer"><button tabInx="0" type="button" data-ttid="close-modal" class="pencraft modal-btn modal-ex-btn no-marg ontend-pencraft-Button-module__inButton--xpBoH ontend-pencraft-Button-module__buttonBase--T0hXz ontend-pencraft-Button-module__size_40--RASvV ontend-pencraft-Button-module__prry_sendary--UEXV6 ontend-pencraft-Button-module__fill_empty--OPYgN ontend-pencraft-Button-module__round--D6jfD"><svg xmlns=" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="sendary" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-x"><le x1="18" x2="6" y1="6" y2="18"></le><le x1="6" x2="18" y1="6" y2="18"></le></svg></button><div class="share-dialog-tle">Share this post</div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-32--uRr14 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-x-24--ViY5j ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-top-32--hE9Ly ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-bottom-48--OND"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-8--wF5Sz ontend-pencraft-Box-module__borr-tail--MiH57 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__borr-radi-12--AmQy9 social-preview-box post"><div class="social-image-box"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" /><img src=" siz="100vw" alt loadg="lazy" width="120" class="ontend-ponents-rponsive_img-module__img--Pgjj2 social-image" /></picture></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-y-8--exiCC ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-left-12--eE6bp"><h4 class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__size-16--fFowu ontend-pencraft-Text-module__le-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-bold--Ps9DB ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-text--QmNJR ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-primary--ud4Z0 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ">Two Gay Che Dads. 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ontend-pencraft-Text-module__le-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-normal--s54Wf ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-text--QmNJR ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-sendary--WRADg ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__body4--Pl3xY">Facebook</div></button><button tabInx="0" type="button" class="button share-actn"><div class="actn-in"><svg role="img" width="21" height="16" viewBox="0 0 21 16" fill="none" stroke-width="1.8" stroke="#000" xmlns="><g><tle></tle><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M2.22192 2.20503C2.36754 1.77115 2.78269 1.45455 3.26639 1.45455H17.9332C18.4169 1.45455 18.8321 1.77118 18.9777 2.2051L10.5999 8.02107L2.22192 2.20503ZM2.16639 3.94198V13.4545C2.16639 14.0529 2.66307 14.5455 3.26639 14.5455H17.9332C18.5365 14.5455 19.0332 14.0529 19.0332 13.4545V3.94206L11.0204 9.50462C10.7679 9.67991 10.4318 9.67991 10.1793 9.50462L2.16639 3.94198ZM20.4999 2.55809V13.4545C20.4999 14.8562 19.3465 16 17.9332 16H3.26639C1.85304 16 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