Matthew Todd thought he had long sce alt wh the mons surroundg his sexualy. In this extract om his new book, he reveals the crisis of shame facg the gay muny – and how to solve
Contents:
- MY LIFE STORI 001| GROWG UP GAY
- GROWG UP GAY
- THKG ANEW: GROWG UP GAY A CHRISTIAN HOEHOLD
- THE HEALTHY BEAR ON GROWG UP GAY
- MATTHEW TODD ON GROWG UP GAY: "WE ARE STRAPPED SI A CULTURAL STRAJACKET"
MY LIFE STORI 001| GROWG UP GAY
Dr Gee om The Healthy Bear shar his story of growg up gay a straight world. Could your story help save the life of a gay teenager? * growing up gay stories *
Now, as an adult, I primarily intify as gay, and I feel strongly that havg those experienc durg my formative years helped shape my sexual inty. Still, as an adult, whenever I've brought this up wh my straight (and generally gay-iendly) buddi, they whout exceptn ny ever havg had siar experienc.
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The only thg on my md was if anyone else felt the same way as I did bee no one seemed like they uld relate other than adults who were already out as gay themselv – which left me feelg all alone.
GROWG UP GAY
It was a plex thought if I’m hont bee they brought me up only knowg that a man uld be wh a woman; unls you had already had openly gay members of a fay, or your school had openly discsed . Out of shame and uncertaty, I hid the closet (didn’t tell anyone I was gay) for another 5 years, before tstg a few iends and exprsg myself more. Somerville was a llege town, which meant was overn wh gays and open-md tellectuals that never qutned who I was.
I image my iends watchg He-Man, and sudnly there's a flash of heavenly light, out of which appears a betiful faerie wh a msage om on high, "Gurl, you're gay! The wrer Christopher Isherwood once said, and I'm paraphrasg, but that homosexualy uldn't be narrowly fed around the sex act.
THKG ANEW: GROWG UP GAY A CHRISTIAN HOEHOLD
I was for all tents and purpos a gay person, but I thk there was still a sense of hatn, still the smallt b of crge when I said those three words, "I am gay.
THE HEALTHY BEAR ON GROWG UP GAY
The first time I ever me ntact wh the word "gay" was around middle school when I started to watch Amerin TV shows like Friends, Will & Grace, and Queer as Folk. I even tried masturbatg to a picture of Madonna, and I now realize that's probably the gayt thg I've ever done. Whout an inty, I searched for one and found a temporary inty Jacquele as her boyiend, agast my sister's wish, who was a sophomore.
MATTHEW TODD ON GROWG UP GAY: "WE ARE STRAPPED SI A CULTURAL STRAJACKET"
" As bter as she was havg never land a lead the school play, Jacquele told several people that I was gay, and the word spread to my sister, which turn spread to my Mom.