Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• I AM GAY AND I'M LOVE WH A STRAIGHT, WHAT N I DO?
• I WAS SURE I WAS GAY – UNTIL I FELL LOVE WH MY BT FEMALE IEND
• IN LOVE WH MY BT IEND, BUT HE'S GAY
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• IS FLIRTG BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN OKAY?
• ‘HE BROKE MY HEART TO A BILLN PIEC’: WHEN A STRAIGHT WOMAN FALLS LOVE WH A GAY MAN
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS
• 19 QUEER FRIENDSHIP BOOKS THAT GO BEYOND THE GAY BT FRIEND

I AM GAY AND I'M LOVE WH A STRAIGHT, WHAT N I DO?

Durg that time I jt felt like everythg was wrong wh me, if only I was a boy or if only she was gay or if only I didn't love her etc.. But do really make a difference if they are straight or gay, if at the end of the day they are someone who is not attracted to you? Those lov are like fallg love wh a teacher, or a straight fallg love wh a gay, or fallg love wh a married person, or fallg love wh a sger or an actor.

I WAS SURE I WAS GAY – UNTIL I FELL LOVE WH MY BT FEMALE IEND

But you need to know that if the person dont want to do somethg wh you, you need to pass no matter have to rpect that the person you like is straight jt like how he rpect and accept you beg Gay. That's what this guy is tryg to figure a pretty tense Redd post, er ProbablyGay1 shar wh fellow Redd ers the story of his iendship and possible romance wh his bt iend, two formed an unlikely iendship high school when Ian was a "ol" guy who was "geilly blsed the facial partment, " and ProbablyGay1 was a self-proclaimed then, their iendship has really lated to what's fely a bt iendship, and what's also que possibly a very betiful fact, ProbablyGay1 explas that there are all sorts of signs that pot toward the directn of a "very betiful romance.

"ProbablyGay1 even admted that Ian sends him "cute" texts while they're both away at llege, "like 'I miss you, ' 'Somethg remd me of you, ' etc. "Fally, what I fd as possibly the most plsible evince leang toward the two of them beg more than iends is that ProbablyGay1 is totally head-over-heels love wh Ian:I thk about Ian a lot.

IN LOVE WH MY BT IEND, BUT HE'S GAY

I don't really re how ProbablyGay1 choos to go about askg Ian about their relatnship, but I sure hope that he do me tell you, for starters, I thk all signs here pot to Ian feelg the same way.

But even the off chance that Ian don't feel the same way, ProbablyGay1 serv the chance to know that for a fact and move on. If there’s one thg I n tell you about wh great thory, as a gay man who took his sweet time g out, ’s havg csh on men who – for the most part – were blissfully unaware of .

We’re tght people are eher gay or straight, that sexualy is a fixed aspect that stays the same over the urse of our liv when actually ’s fluid and chang over time. Whether you’re straight, gay, bicur, heteroflexible or jt workg thgs out, ’s not jt your sexualy that’s lled to qutn when such a csh aris.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

It works wh gay men too – we don’t fancy all straight men tomatilly and ’s possible for such a csh to be entirely platonic.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

While we’re begng to throw off the labels that n rtrict , n be hard for men to exprs themselv emotnally whout beg thought of as gay and s of opprsn has shown that beg gay is viewed by many as ferr. We may believe that to fd another man attractive mak ls of a man – whatever that you don’t want to thk of yourself as gay or bi then don’t. I hontly have never been attracted to another man let alone had any sort of homosexual enunter the slightt so i believe myself to be strongly heterosexual.

McKellan is a gay man who me out 1988, and although 33 years have passed sce he me out, n still be shockg to the world to see such a close same-sex iendship that cross sexual inti. Along wh his supervisor, Robb Travers, he lnched a study that surveyed 350 straight men and 275 gay or bisexual men om across North Ameri. Siar to qutns that loom about whether straight men and women n ever tly be platonic iends, the same qutn lgers over the iendships between gay and straight men.

A bromosexual iendship is a nonsexual iendship between two men, where typilly one iend is gay (or bisexual), and the other is straight. In days past, this may have seemed as unlikely as a iendship between a ln and a moe, given the tradnally high levels of homophobia among straight men. McKie’s rearch reported that straight participants felt that a gay iend ma for the ultimate wgman bee the gay iend uld help to attract prospective partners for the straight iend.

IS FLIRTG BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN OKAY?

Other rearch has shown that women prefer iendships wh gay vers straight men, partly bee the threat or loomg qutn of sexual attractn is renred moot.

However, straight men bromosexual iendships have perhaps learned how to harns this ease of iendship between straight women and gay men for their own advantage. McKie noted that the straight men felt their gay iend was able to make succsful troductns to straight women bee the women tsted their gay male iends to troduce them to a good person.

Gay men McKie’s rearch reported that their straight male iends often play the role of ‘matchmaker’ and troduce them to another of their gay iends. The lack of petn for the same prospective partners allows the iendship to flourish a way that may be hred to some gree for gay or straight men iendships wh men who share the same sexual orientatn. For gay men, iendship qualy wh a straight male iend was particularly high when the iendship pre-dated the gay man g out.

‘HE BROKE MY HEART TO A BILLN PIEC’: WHEN A STRAIGHT WOMAN FALLS LOVE WH A GAY MAN

Straight men also reported havg more emotnally vulnerable nversatns wh their gay iends bee they felt safer to do so, relative to attemptg to discs siar topics wh other straight men. McKie’s rearch found that straight men livg the more central parts of Canada and the Uned Stat were ls likely to report a willgns or tert havg a gay man as a iend. But tim are changg quickly, and McKie’s rearch unrsr the special bond that n velop between gay and straight iends to the benef of both.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

Alim, a closeted gay man livg Canada, has his life turned upsi down when his nservative mother pops to town for a vis. This Belgian film follows Pim, a young, sensive gay boy who n't help but fall for Go, the handsome kid next door. Almost as long as rom-s and high school TV shows have existed, the Gay Bt Friend(tm) has been a source of edy and ntroversy.

19 QUEER FRIENDSHIP BOOKS THAT GO BEYOND THE GAY BT FRIEND

Often an important first step troducg queer storyl to mastream dienc, the GBF trope had a tenncy to rerce stereotyp about gay men: that their only terts are makeovers, shoppg and drama, that their stggl and relatnships fa to the background unls they're supportg a straight person's story, and that they only exist to be wise oracl about love and LGBTQ+ reprentatn Hollywood improv both onscreen and behd the mera, movi and TV shows are gettg creasgly self-aware, creatg gay characters who provi the ic relief we love while tearg down outdated ias. Perhaps the earlit example of the classic Gay Bt Friend character is 1984 movie The Woman Red, a Gene Wilr edy about a married man who be obssed wh a mol (Kelly LeBrock) after he se her skirt get blown up by a wd grate, Marilyn Monroe-style.