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class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-riser"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="rw7e"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/culture"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU"><em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em>: The Most Influential Comedy a De</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">Ten years ago, Judd Apatow's film proved that the teen-sex-edy formula was funnier—and ls cel—when was applied to grown-ups.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/stt-tobias">Stt Tobias</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2015-08-19T07:30:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">Augt 19, 2015</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Image may nta Human Person Pl Rudd Patient Therapy Clothg Apparel and Pants" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>The Summer Movie Season™ is sentially over by mid-July. Augt is where the bodi are buried. After rollg out ne-figure blockbters for three straight months, studs unload their misfs and embarrassments to a public as fatigued by hype as they are by the heat. The bt they n hope for is a sleeper h to lighten the red k on the ledger.</p><p>Released 10 years ago today, Judd Apatow’s <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> was no mere late-summer sleeper, but a phenomenon that even a $100 ln-pl return on a $26 ln vtment don’t e close to explag. Apatow’s gen twist on the teen sex edy would bee the wellsprg of Amerin stud edy—lnchg reers, kickg off trends and unter-trends, and brgg orr to a genre that feeds off chaos. Here are five reasons why <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> is the most fluential edy of the last .</p><div role="headg" aria-level="1" class="headg-h1">It turned Judd Apatow to a edy kgmaker.</div><p>There’s some irony to Apatow beg a force mastream edy, bee for the or so before makg his directorial but wh <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em>, he had the oppose of the Midas touch. Everythg he touched turned to a cultishly adored flop: <em>The Ben Stiller Show</em>, <em>The Cable Guy</em>, <em>Freaks and Geeks</em>, <em>Unclared</em>. None of his TV shows lasted more than one season—<em>Unclared</em> had the misfortune of premierg two weeks after 9/11—and <em>The Cable Guy</em>, which was Apatow’s first feature producg cred, put an abpt end to Jim Carrey’s big-screen wng streak. In retrospect, however, the loss were the foundatn to a much larger and more lastg victory for Apatow, who had amassed both cril goodwill and a stable of edy talent that would pay off <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> and beyond.</p><div class="GenericCalloutWrapper-tojWn laelsA llout--has-top-borr" data-ttid="GenericCallout"><blockquote class="BlockquoteEmbedWrapper-sc-SdiGL ftKRsD blockquote-embed"><div class="BlockquoteEmbedContent-RbGs lhlcJF blockquote-embed__ntent"><p data-sectn-tle=""><em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> is such a simple twist on the teen-sex-edy formula that ’s amazg took so long for anyone to thk of .</p></div></blockquote></div><p>Seth Rogen may be the only st member who followed Apatow om the TV shows to Virg, but nsir the gallery of b players who went on to stardom: Jonah Hill, Jane Lynch, Elizabeth Banks, Mdy Kalg, Kev Hart, Kat Denngs. Consir also the Apatow players who were sudnly ascendant on the wgs of his succs: Jam Fran (who returned to beg funny), Jason Segel, Mart Starr, By Philipps, Jay Bachel. Or the former llaborators who would beme hmakers themselv: Freaks and Geeks creator Pl Feig (<em>Brismaids</em>, <em>The Heat</em>, <em>Spy</em>), and a tr of Unclared wrers and/or directors, cludg Nicholas Stoller (<em>Fettg Sarah Marshall</em>, <em>Neighbors</em>), Greg Mottola (<em>Superbad</em>), and Jake Kasdan (<em>Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story</em>). In fact, a good argument uld be ma that Apatow’s curatorial stcts are sharper than his filmmakg stcts. He ed the leverage om <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> to bee the David O. Selznick of good-hearted rnch, and even the odd dud hasn’t knocked him om the perch.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="1" class="headg-h1">It upend the teen-sex-edy formula.</div><p>As an adolcent the early to mid-1980s, Apatow was surely weaned on the post-<em>Animal Hoe</em> glut of smutty athoe edi wh a ltle b of T&A and a lot of sexual embarrassment. The eaks and geeks that populated pay-ble after midnight were nearly all bpectacled virgs, subjected to endls false starts and public huiatns before fally srg the end. The premise for <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> is such a simple twist on the same formula that ’s amazg took so long for anyone to thk of . It’s possible to image that Andy Stzer, Steve Carell’s post-post-post-adolcent naif, was raised on the movi, too, which helped rerce the ia that sex was a terrifyg prospect and that breasts possibly felt like bags of sand.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Makg a sex edy around a middle-aged man only partly explas how the film turns the disreputable subgenre on s head. What ma most of those ‘80s edi so tolerable is they were fundamentally cel: They may have nerds for hero, but they’re aligned mostly wh the bulli who lgh at them. Apatow brgs a sweetns, self-pretn, and mararie to <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> that not only vts the other characters (and the dience) Andy’s qut to get laid, but mak seem as if he’s not the oddball for holdg out for so long. He jt has a ltle growg up to do.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="1" class="headg-h1">It spurred the rise of the bro edy — and s oppose.</div><p>Romantic edi need some iends to give terrible advice. <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> offered three of them Andy’s -workers, played by Rogen, Pl Rudd, and Romany Mal, who take personal rponsibily for gettg him laid. Each one, ed, has terrible advice: Rogen wants him “to be kd of a dick, like David Caso Ja,” Rudd mak monogamy seem like pathologil sickns, and Mal’s tomttg ways are far too advanced for him. But they mean well, and they re about Andy’s happs.</p><div class="GenericCalloutWrapper-tojWn laelsA llout--has-top-borr" data-ttid="GenericCallout"><blockquote class="BlockquoteEmbedWrapper-sc-SdiGL ftKRsD blockquote-embed"><div class="BlockquoteEmbedContent-RbGs lhlcJF blockquote-embed__ntent"><p data-sectn-tle="">Apatow brgs a sweetns to <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> that mak seem as if he’s not the oddball for holdg out for so long. He jt has a ltle growg up to do.</p></div></blockquote></div><p>Mostly, though, they hang out and go on ltle si adventur together, tradg juvenile one-lers and half-baked philosophil nuggets that are ne-tenths stupid to one-tenth wise. As wh <em>Freaks and Geeks</em> and <em>Unclared</em>, the men have a pack mentaly that’s good for iendship and hijks but is really about maratg malens.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>The bro edi of the ‘00s didn’t start wh <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em>—perhaps <em>Old School</em>, om two years earlier, serv more cred for that. But Apatow would go on to make a ttage dtry of man-child characters workg their way through arrted adolcence. At the same time, Hollywood followed su wh The Haner trilogy; <em>Weddg Crashers</em>; <em>Dodgeball</em>; <em>I Love You, Man</em>; and untls others, which turn prompted Apatow to change directns and put his name behd edi about women. He produced Feig’s <em>Brismaids</em> and Lena Dunham’s HBO show <em>Girls</em>, and more recently turned <em>Trawreck</em> to a <em>Knocked Up</em> wh wrer Amy Schumer the Rogen part. The smutty/sweet dynamic of Apatow’s bro edi are still prent, but om the other si of the genr divi.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="1" class="headg-h1">It took edy off script.</div><p>Followg <em>Anchorman</em> (which Apatow produced) the year before, <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> cemented the improvisatnal loosens that would take over edy for the next . While there are nsequenc to Apatow’s ic digrsns—nng tim that balloon to two hours and beyond (and longer on “Unrated” DVD cuts), an excs of random jok and non sequurs, that bizarre terventn wh Matthew Brorick and Marv Albert <em>Trawreck</em>—many of the bt scen <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> are off the cuff. The cht-waxg scene and the “you know how I know you’re gay” exchange are the most wily noted, but there are specific riffs and referenc that have the spontaney of improv whether they’re scripted or not. After <em>Anchorman</em> and <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em>, the power edy shifted to actors who were skilled at thkg on their feet, and have the creative eedom of not beg bound to the page.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="1" class="headg-h1">It ma edy to a blockbter event.</div><p><em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> was a h Augt, but would be the last time the stud released an Apatow edy the dog days of summer. <em>Knocked Up</em>, <em>Funny People</em>, <em>Trawreck</em>: All me out July, right alongsi the big-budget remak, reboots, sequels, and superhero movi that tradnally rattle the multiplex. Wh big enough stars and a hooky enough ncept, studs have rightly felt nfint that dienc would shell out full admissn for edy as they did for the latt 3D effects-driven spectacle.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="q2zuo9"></div></div><p>To some gree, that’s forced filmmakers to e up wh big, outrageo setpiec like the food-poisong scene <em>Brismaids</em> or the tiger transport <em>The Haner</em>. But still, there’s somethg rehg about regnizable, all-too-human characters makg fools out of themselv the middle of summer. Blockbter edi have to aim for the rafters, but <em>The 40-Year-Old Virg</em> proved uld done wh generosy and a bigns of heart.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="xcmqqe"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM 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iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">Legendary Author John McPhee on Procrastatn, Dread, and His Endls Fal Project </div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Nathan Taylor Pemberton</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="ex0s"></div></div><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Ke Huy Quan Jos Tom Hiddlton the Time-Hoppy Trailer for Loki Season 2" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">Ke Huy Quan Jos Tom Hiddlton the Time-Hoppy Trailer for <em>Loki</em> Season 2</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>William Goodman</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset 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‘SIGNIFINT OTHER’ BROADWAY REVIEW: ‘BRISMAIDS’ MEETS ‘THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRG,’ ONLY GAY

As the actor shar, his "How I Know You're Gay" back-and-forth wh Pl Rudd the film has upset some fans. The cht-waxg scene and the “you know how I know you’re gay” exchange are the most wily noted, but there are specific riffs and referenc that have the spontaney of improv whether they’re scripted or not. Growg up ral upstate NY really limed the amount of teractn I had wh other gay men, pecially on that I was attracted to.

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nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-riser"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="fac3f6"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">What It’s Like to Be an “Old” Virg</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">GQ talked to 40 people about why they waed.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/sophia-beno">Sophia Beno</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2019-06-04T11:20:48-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">June 4, 2019</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="punch rd that says V Card and has 1 hole punched" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">Illtratn by Simon Abranowicz</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Beg a virg later life n be, perhaps above all thgs, an credibly isolatg experience. Not only is a highly stigmatizg label—only rerced by media trop that suggt that olr virgs are merely punchl—’s also rarely discsed openly, hontly, or wh any level of passn.</p><p>I talked to about 40 people who remaed virgs until they were at least 22 (five years after the average age at which Amerins lose their virgy, acrdg to the CDC) to see what ’s like to be a "late"--life virg—why they waed, the obstacl they faced, and what sex was like when they fally had .</p><p>Of urse, even askg people why they “waed” impli some level of universal experience, some nonexistent "right time." The reasons people gave for losg their virgy later were all over the map. Some people grew up relig muni or sgle-sex schools, which ma sex more elive or taboo. Other people felt unattractive or secure growg up. Stggl wh health, sexual orientatn, and genr dysphoria were also mon.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>For almost every sgle person, the biggt worry was not beg good at sex, a very normal ncern no matter <em>when</em> you lose your virgy. The longer you wa, the more experience potential partners likely have—and that dispary n heap on more prsure. The people I spoke wh also opened up about the social stigma of beg an olr virg and the emotnal toll n take when you’re not experiencg somethg that <em>feels</em> like everyone else is dog (and talkg about) all the time.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p><strong>GQ: So, why did you wa?</strong></p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="j5ocp"></div></div><p>"I was raised relig and Jewish, so no sex until marriage and barely any anic teractn between the sex, eher." —Daniel, 34, Philalphia, PA</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>"Lack of appropriate partners was a big factor for me. Growg up ral upstate NY really limed the amount of teractn I had wh other gay men, pecially on that I was attracted to. I was one of the only queer people my high school, so my pool was almost nonexistent to beg wh. I went to a very liberal llege wh a large queer populatn, but durg that time I (very slowly) me to the realizatn that I am fact a trans woman, so I was more foced on that than tryg to lose my virgy." —Amy, 27, Albany, NY</p><p>"I didn't wa by choice. I wanted to start havg sex when I was a teenager, but jt never worked out somehow. I didn't fd the right boyiend, I always had trouble relatg to boys I liked, and I had a weird panic reactn that set whenever a boy I liked showed tert." —Sarah, 46, Chigo, IL</p><p>"A big part of was beg raised Mormon and assumg I’d stick out and eventually marry a Mormon guy. I've never really f the Mormon mold (’s very nservative and I’m very <em>not</em> nservative), so I mostly jt didn’t date at all my early and mid-20s. Once I cid to try datg guys who weren’t Mormon, I found my boyiend and lost my V-rd relatively quickly. So was kd of my choice to not lose ." —Lydia, 27, Boise, ID</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="od5jd8"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="3793g"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>"I gus I never got laid bee of some batn of beg a massive nerd, not beg out, and also probably beg an asshole, hdsight." —Seth, 28, Manchter, U.K.</p><p>"I’m still a virg, and I thk that the big reason that I haven’t lost yet is bee I always put a ton of prsure on myself to have be this big moment. I’ve had a uple of opportuni, but jt never seemed to live up to my expectatns. Then I kd of removed myself om even tryg to date, bee I lost a ton of nfince my early 20s." —Ron, 25, Lln, NE</p><p><strong>What was your biggt fear around losg your virgy?</strong></p><p>"Beg on 'woke' Twter, you see many (warranted) tweets jt thlsly dunkg on men who don’t know how to make women asm or who don't know their way around a vulva or are jt generally bad bed for whatever reason, and ’s hard to believe I wouldn’t be one of the men the bedroom." —Leonard, 23, Dallas, TX</p><p>"My biggt fear was not beg prepared. Anal tak a lot of prep work, and I was jt generally nervo about the suatn general." —Amy, 27, Albany, NY</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>"I don't have any sort of sexual worri like I'm gonna fd out, 'Oh, no! My penis don't work!' But the worry I do have, and this is somethg I have n to as I've attempted to date, is that tellg a potential date that I am a virg will be a albreaker. And, hontly, 's unrstandable if is. I mean, I'm 31; beg a virg at my age n absolutely feel like a red flag, or at least a hurdle most women may not be terted alg wh." —Cory, 31, Atlanta, GA</p><p><strong>Did you feel prsure to lose your virgy?</strong></p><p>"I don't thk anyone ever wanted me to feel prsure to lose , but I also thk 's impossible not to. The few tim I was wh people and explaed the suatn, they would tell me not to feel prsured, but then I uld also see they didn't que know how to meet me at my level. But I thk more than anythg, I put prsure onto myself. I always said that I would be fe not havg sex for the rt of my life, but the fact that I'd never had ma me feel like I was some way behd. Especially bee hadn't been an active choice, on bad days uld certaly feel like a personal failg." —Hamish, 29, Alberta, Canada</p><p>"I feel some prsure to lose . My iends and most people I follow on Twter talk about gettg laid like they talk about grocery shoppg, so seems embarrassg to have such a hard time losg ." —William, 22, Kg of Pssia, PA</p><p>"I thk the only prsure I felt was om myself. I'd been sperate for romantic attentn om women for years and wanted a relatnship, sex and all." —Gary, 33, Lansg, MI</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ne0yom"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-3625"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt cKAPsp">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Bt Menswear Deals of the Week" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Bt Menswear Deals of the Week</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>The Edors of GQ</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The 20 Bt New Menswear Items to Buy This Week" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The 20 Bt New Menswear Items to Buy This Week</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>The Edors of GQ</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Every Piece of Menswear You Should Own 2023" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Every Piece of Menswear You Should Own 2023</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Gerald Ortiz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw dacLSS ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="og7lml"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs joBAUg"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="2vey"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>"I never had a sex talk. My iends and I never talked about sex, and still don’t to this day. I put all the prsure on myself bee of some high school asshol, and I wish I uld tell my old self not to sweat . The time I spent wonrg if I was gog to be good enough or big enough or whatever enough mak me crge. It was years of tratn that built to a few mut my r. It’s silly when I thk about that way." —Ferdand, 30, Ptsburgh, PA</p><p>"Throughout my 20s, I lied to close iends about . I started teachg llege at the age of 25, and whenever the subject of sex me up durg class, I felt like a d while talkg wh my stunts. I felt really ashamed of beg a virg and for lyg about . It wasn’t until I was 32 that I me out as a virg to everyone important to me my life—first private wh my clost iends and fay, then publicly on social media. That was terrifyg, bee I imaged everyone ridiculg and abandong me, so I felt tremendo relief and gratu by how supportive everyone was." —Lawrence, 39, Ontar, CA</p><p>"Most people are surprised, and then assume that I mt be unhappy and/or there’s somethg wrong wh me. I don’t have any regrets. It'll happen when happens. Most people put more weight on my virgy than I do." —Greg, 25, Portland, OR</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p><strong>How did you feel when you had sex for the first time?</strong></p><p>"I felt credibly self-nsc. I went worried that I would fish immediately, like a scene om a bad edy, but stead I jt uldn't fish at all. I've sce learned this isn't super unmon for men who masturbate regularly but don't have P--V sex—your body is ed to a different stimul. So for a while that beme s own stigma and the thg I worried about. But the more I was able to let myself be the moment and to take some prsure off myself, the better the experience of sex got." —Hamish, 29, Alberta, Canada</p><p>"Relieved. Ecstatic. It was on a weekend away, and my iends put signs up at my hoe sayg 'Wele Home' when I got back. It was funny." —Tony, 39, Norfolk, U.K.</p><p>"Disappoted. First, bee after seeg how crazy ma everyone, I expected more. And send, bee I did to get over wh, and probably that’s 90 percent of why I hated ." —Rachel, 26, Los Angel</p><p>"I felt great about losg my virgy. I'd had a while to prepare, and I had a good guy. It was actually a ltle unrwhelmg. I was worried I'd regret dog or regret wag so long, but I ultimately felt very at peace wh my cisn." —Lydia, 27, Boise, ID</p><p>"I felt relief, ls bee I'd fally had sex and more bee meant to me that I fally had the nnectn wh a woman that I'd wanted for many years." —Gary, 33, Lansg, MI</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="q2"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-3626"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt cKAPsp">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Bt Menswear Deals of the Week" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Bt Menswear Deals of the Week</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>The Edors of GQ</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The 20 Bt New Menswear Items to Buy This Week" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The 20 Bt New Menswear Items to Buy This Week</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>The Edors of GQ</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iTWsZ summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--GALLERY summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gjFFSE" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Every Piece of Menswear You Should Own 2023" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM fFPekr summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ejPNRQ summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Every Piece of Menswear You Should Own 2023</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY jbnRem summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Gerald Ortiz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw dacLSS ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="d7p46r"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs joBAUg"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="gluxuq"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>"The whole experience of not jt losg my virgy but learng about sexualy really highlighted to me how woefully aquate sex tn is and how badly we as a society prepare adults to be sexual begs. I'm forever grateful to my younger self for takg so much time to learn and try and fill blanks— ma thgs so much easier and ma the learng curve a ltle ls steep." —Sherman, 43, Alai, Atralia</p><p>"I lost when I was 32, I thk, maybe 33, wh an rt. It felt overhyped, like, 'This is what everyone says is so great? Really? This is why people stroy their entire liv when they cheat or do somethg else sane and risky?' I don't get ." —Joel, 37, Philalphia, PA</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-4 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p><strong>What else should people know about what 's like to be a virg?</strong></p><p>"It really bothers me that other people are so predisposed to treat someone's virgy as a qualy to mock? I know 's hard for certa 'socially aware' people to 'thk of the poor virgs,' sce the loust, most obnox virgs are cels and their ilk, but jok about people's virgy punch down at asexual people, disabled people, trans people, tersex people, and probably a bunch of other people I'm not thkg of." —Nile, 30, New York, NY</p><p>"A virg shouldn't be any more ashamed than a stunt driver... I really wish people wouldn't go on and on and on about sexual patibily as the be-all, end-all of a relatnship. I'm not even sure I believe such a thg. Like everythg else a mature relatnship, both people need to adjt the dial and tune to each other. I wish people would stop glamorizg the First Time and g stupid terms like 'flowerg' or 'poppg the cherry.' It's fuckg stupid. Let sex be sex." —Daniel, 34, Philalphia, PA</p><p>"I'm divid on how hont you should be about [beg a virg]. On the one hand, uld be important for the other person to know what will mean to you; on the other hand, n really weird people out, and 's basilly your own bs. I was hont wh someone a more ser relatnship about how ltle experience I had, and sort of threw a wrench thgs; lyg about (I don't volunteer unls people ask) has ultimately proved to be better relatnships, jt bee don't ll attentn to at all." —Eddie, 26, Los Angel</p><p>"I wish that we as a society would do away wh altogether and stop puttg so much weight and meang on whether or not someone has had sex, and stead start puttg more emphasis on teachg prehensive queer and sex-posive sexual tn and the ethics of nsent." —Alex, 28, Phoenix, AZ</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="o2k5ic"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid 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class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><asi class="RecircListTextOverlayWrapper-EAayj ikNPKA ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="recirc-list__ntaer"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ RecircListTextOverlayHeadg-icEzDE iUEiRd fWXTnu iCFeNq">Read More</hear><ul class="RecircListTextOverlayItems-kknlpG lpbERO recirc-list__ems hi-read-more-ad"><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/i-lost-my-virgy-to-a-straight-boy"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div 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siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="This Is How Long Sex Should Last (From a Woman’s Pot of View)" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex and Relatnships</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">This Is How Long Sex Should Last (From a Woman’s Pot of View)</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Sophia Beno</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="ue3kn"></div></div><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/flix-sex-tn-guys-should-talk-about-sex-more"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div 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