Dad and dad: a journey to gay fatherhood – pictur | Art and sign | The Guardian

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

* father son gay relationship *

Fathers many fai are myster, distant, timidatg figur—even more so for boys wh homosexual attractns. They are the fay torchbearers of manls, and, as mal young and old know, homosexualy is nsired the dread oppose of masculy. Acrdg to Michael Kimmel, a soclogist and expert on male sex rol, men monstrate their masculy by repudiatg all that is feme and monstratg an ever-ready willgns to engage sexual terurse wh women whenever the opportuny aris- a nutshell, to prove they are not gay.

To be gay is to be powerls, weak, unable to break ee om Mommy, and the characteristics are patible wh real manls. Inially, the assertn that homophobia plays center stage men's mascule self-ncept may seem rather extreme.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

" "That's so gay. A boy growg to a gay man will get the msage loud and clear that he is weak, dirty, and, perhaps worst of all, ls than a man.

Th is no wonr that the boys the study for my book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, relled beg so reactive and fearful of the rpons of their fathers—the very people who were expectg them to receive and rry the torch of masculy. He would ll gay people nam and stuff. We mt remember that fathers and sons live the same world—one that teach boys that homosexualy is patible wh real masculy and, by associatn, full male adulthood.