Is Rudolph gay?
Contents:
- RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REER: A GAY CHRISTMAS ALLEGORY
- IS RUDOLPH GAY?
- REVEALED: THE OBV GAY SUBTEXT OF ‘RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REER’
- ENTERTAMENT WRER: ‘RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REER’ IS FULL OF ‘GAY SUBTEXT’
RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REER: A GAY CHRISTMAS ALLEGORY
* rudolph the red nosed reindeer is gay *
Now, I know what you're thkg: Tony Bravo, you thk everythg is a gay allegory. In the past, I've poted to the X-Men (mutant powers maniftg at puberty that require a g out procs and rults discrimatn), Twilight's gym queen werewolf, Morrissey-lookg vampire and sulky girl flannel (technilly, the books are a Mormon allegory for wag until marriage, but the movi are totally a gay allegory), Maria von Trapp (the mil versn, not the historil one), and even the Ltle Mermaid.
Not only is our red-nosed iend a seasonal gay allegory, but he's one that generatns of children have grown up wh, through the song (gay) and the stop-motn Rank and Bass special that plays every year on an ABC Fay loop (extremely gay).
IS RUDOLPH GAY?
The fact that I n immediately tie this special to a Tennsee Williams masterwork already lets you know jt how gay this is gog to get. " That's sort of like when fathers of gay sons sist on givg them a football for Christmas stead of the One Directn lendar they asked for so they "will have somethg mon wh the boys on the playground.
- Wele to Rudolph's (and almost every ltle gay boy's) worst nightmare: gym class. Self-hatg Fireball tells him to get away, as if he might ntract the gay gene through nasal ntact.
- While Rudolph is stgglg not to get gay bashed, a blond sprig of an elf (who looks and sounds like Carson Krsley) named Hermey is gettg a verbal beat down om the head of the toy partment bee he wants to be a ntist.
REVEALED: THE OBV GAY SUBTEXT OF ‘RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REER’
Basilly, the Island of Misf Toys is a gay bar where slightly "off" but totally ol-lookg toys (stuffed elephants wh polka dots, lns wh wgs, talkg tras) all live together exile hopg Santa will take them to good ltle girls and boys for Christmas one day. " Fearg his red nose will attract the Abomable Snowman to Gay Bar Island (by the way, if I ever open a gay bar, I'm llg "Island of Misf Toys"), Rudolph leav and wanrs alone, eventually returng home to fd out that his terrible, guilt-ridn parents and Clarice went missg lookg for him. Once back at the North Pole, Donner and the other jerks sheepishly apologize to Rudolph bee hey, he may be gay and have a red nose, but he was braver than all of them ever were.
ENTERTAMENT WRER: ‘RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REER’ IS FULL OF ‘GAY SUBTEXT’
Santa slightly reems himself by sendg the Misf Toys to good hom, even though means last ll at Gay Bar Island.