Involvg CT fathers wh their children is personal for DCF's Anthony Gay - New Haven Register, 12/24/2019 , North Carola

Contents:

• DAMIAN GAY NEW HAVEN, AGE 33, FEMALE
• INVOLVG CT FATHERS WH THEIR CHILDREN IS PERSONAL FOR DCF'S ANTHONY GAY
• LGBTQ+ AFFIRMG THERAPISTS NEW HAVEN, CT
• HAMN OBUARI: DAMN GAY, 23
• LGBTQ+ SUPPORT GROUPS NEW HAVEN, CT
• NEW HAVEN GAY BARS
• NATHANIEL GAY NEW HAVEN

DAMIAN GAY NEW HAVEN, AGE 33, FEMALE

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INVOLVG CT FATHERS WH THEIR CHILDREN IS PERSONAL FOR DCF'S ANTHONY GAY

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LGBTQ+ AFFIRMG THERAPISTS NEW HAVEN, CT

A social work supervisor for the state Department of Children and Fai, Gay knows how difficult, and how val, is to be a father who will have a lastg, posive impact on his children. Gay, who grew up New Haven and is based DCF's Torrgton office, is leadg the agency's fatherhood engagement efforts, closg the gap between servic offered to fathers and those given to mothers and children. Gay knows the importance of fatherhood om both sis.

And, vastated by the loss of that son a r crash, Gay has changed his outlook when to his send son. "If a father is illerate, if a father has no math skills, if they show an tert, the child do better amilly, " said Gay.

"Our agency do a relatively good job engagg mothers across the board, " Gay said. While Gay said DCF still has a ways to go s efforts, is a prry for the partment. For Gay, 's personal.

HAMN OBUARI: DAMN GAY, 23

His own father, Ossie Gay Sr., while voted to his fay, wasn't able to be there for his son.

"We actually had a good relatnship, " Gay said.

Ossie Gay, born Geia and wh only a third-gra tn, worked wh his hands at low-wage jobs, so he wasn't home much. "I lerally saw my father when was time to go to school or was time to go to bed, " Anthony Gay said.

LGBTQ+ SUPPORT GROUPS NEW HAVEN, CT

Ossie Gay was a chffr for the Veterans Admistratn, cleaned banks and was a matenance man at church. "He was a real handyman, so he would pick up jobs whenever he uld to make money, " Gay said.

"Pretty much everythg I got was hand-me-downs, " said Gay, 49. But while he was almost always at work, Ossie Gay "was the only father on the block" their Edgewood neighborhood. "So when he was around was a major thg, not only for me but [for] the other kids the neighborhood, " Gay said.

Anthony Gay was a basketball star at what is now Gateway Communy College, srg more than 40 pots a game. On senr night, Ossie Gay fally was able to get to his game, but Anthony felt so much prsure he sred fewer than 20 pots. Gay began to tear up as he said, "Seeg him se jt ma me so happy that I jt uldn't foc.

NEW HAVEN GAY BARS

Gay termed that his children, Damn and Prayc Gay, would not go whout as he had, so he followed his father's example and worked so hard he missed out on his own children's liv.

NATHANIEL GAY NEW HAVEN

Gay wasn't away om home que as much as his father was. " Damn Gay, 23, and a iend were leavg work and "drivg a ltle faster than they should have been, " police told Anthony. When they got to the hospal, Damn's mother's partner hugged Gay and said, "We lost our boy.

" But Gay wouldn't believe until the doctor said, "I'm sorry, sir, he didn't make .