Hamn Obuari: Damn Gay, 23 | Hamn, CT Patch

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DAMIAN GAY NEW HAVEN, AGE 33, FEMALE

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24--If you're lookg for someone to help volve fathers their children's liv, Anthony Gay is your man. A social work supervisor for the state Department of Children and Fai, Gay knows how difficult, and how val, is to be a father who will have a lastg, posive impact on his children.

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Gay, who grew up New Haven and is based DCF's Torrgton office, is leadg the agency's fatherhood engagement efforts, closg the gap between servic offered to fathers and those given to mothers and children. Gay knows the importance of fatherhood om both sis.

And, vastated by the loss of that son a r crash, Gay has changed his outlook when to his send son. "If a father is illerate, if a father has no math skills, if they show an tert, the child do better amilly, " said Gay. "Our agency do a relatively good job engagg mothers across the board, " Gay said.

While Gay said DCF still has a ways to go s efforts, is a prry for the partment. For Gay, 's personal. His own father, Ossie Gay Sr., while voted to his fay, wasn't able to be there for his son.

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"We actually had a good relatnship, " Gay said. Ossie Gay, born Geia and wh only a third-gra tn, worked wh his hands at low-wage jobs, so he wasn't home much.

"I lerally saw my father when was time to go to school or was time to go to bed, " Anthony Gay said. Ossie Gay was a chffr for the Veterans Admistratn, cleaned banks and was a matenance man at church. "He was a real handyman, so he would pick up jobs whenever he uld to make money, " Gay said.

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"Pretty much everythg I got was hand-me-downs, " said Gay, 49.

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But while he was almost always at work, Ossie Gay "was the only father on the block" their Edgewood neighborhood.

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