Tell: An Intimate History of Gay Men the Milary | GQ

Contents:

• I THOUGHT I COULD SERVE AS AN OPENLY GAY MAN THE ARMY. THEN CAME THE DEATH THREATS.
• BT GAY MILARY
• I'M A GAY ARMY OFFICER—QUEER TROOPS MT FIGHT BACK
• TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY
• A GAY SOLDIER’S STORY OF VIETNAM AND AFTER
• "COMG OUT UNR FIRE": THE STORY OF GAY AND LBIAN SERVICEMEMBERS
• GAY SOLDIERS
• ARMY’S FIRST OPENLY GAY GENERAL RETIR AFTER SPIRG OTHERS

I THOUGHT I COULD SERVE AS AN OPENLY GAY MAN THE ARMY. THEN CAME THE DEATH THREATS.

In rponse, and apparently to monstrate his petency his assigned posn, the nonmissned officer had taken upon himself to approach the person he nsired cled toward mtg a siar offense the future: me, the only openly gay soldier my un. Together we approached our un’s learship, where she sisted that the ments had stemmed om the reprentative’s own homophobic feelgs and remend that he be reprimand and removed om his posn as the un’s sexual harassment watchdog.

But by then was hard to ignore the anxiety I felt durg required social activi — “mandatory fun, ” as ’s lled the ary — or the tensn om my fellow moment I cid to bee a soldier and the moment I chose to live openly as a gay man occurred so closely time that ’s hard to remember which me first. It was still four months before the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell, ” a double-edged policy prohibg askg any service member about his or her sexualy while enforcg a ban on openly gay service members. As long as gay soldiers kept their mouths shut, the burn of proof fell on those makg the accatns.

A uple were more elaborate: tailed scriptns of what might happen to me if I was ught alone, and proclamatns about the wrongns of gays the ary. There are moments when feels wrong to claim my stat as a veteran; as if beg gay ma me ls of a soldier and somehow validated my service.

BT GAY MILARY

Every memory evok an emotn: rage that I had to serve wh a nstant sense of fear of my fellow soldiers; paralyzg sadns for those who endured ab worse than I n know; and, the worst, guilt over the service members — gay or straight or transgenr — who died while servg the ary while my body is still whole.

But as a gay man, I have been fightg my whole life to enjoy the very privileg I am entled to as both a beholr and protector of them. I was one of few soldiers who joed the service before graduatg high school, but the admistratn at the time, which I believe was homophobic, chose to act as if I never existed bee of my queer hate that I experienced growg up on Long Island was my first enunter wh how others would treat me as a queer soldier.

I'M A GAY ARMY OFFICER—QUEER TROOPS MT FIGHT BACK

The are the voic explag what has been like to be a gay man1 the Amerin ary over the prev seventy or so years, om World War II veterans their late eighti to young servicemen on active duty.

Life Today as a Gay ServicemanHow we got here: In 1992, many people thought that the discrimatn was nearly over.

TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY

"I remember beg the Castro, " says John Forrett (army rerve, 1987–99), "and watchg the TV at a bar wh some iends, watchg Al Gore and Bill Clton swearg that if they beme the tag team for Ameri they were gog to get rid of the harassment of gays and lbians servg the ary.

" Gay people were allowed the ary but only as long as they didn’t reveal their sexualy; to facilate this, all members of the ary were also prohibed om quirg about anyone’s possible orientatn. Gay people were only acceptable, effect, to the gree to which they uld succsfully masquera as nongay.

Seventeen years which gay servicemen have existed a paradoxil kd of herworld.

A GAY SOLDIER’S STORY OF VIETNAM AND AFTER

Servicemen were advised that until then the policy would still apply, and that they uld potentially face s sanctns if they intify themselv publicly as gay. ’ "Air Force #1: "Two of my iends were disvered, both officers—’s a long and arduo procs for an officer to get kicked out for beg gay.

"COMG OUT UNR FIRE": THE STORY OF GAY AND LBIAN SERVICEMEMBERS

"Air Force #2 (senr airman, three years): "No one at my job would ever, ever spect that I was gay at all. And you’re good at your job—a gay person wouldn’t be good at his job, so obvly you’re not gay.

You’re a Mare, you don’t md gettg dirty, gog out to the field and not showerg for weeks at a, if you were gay, when you have to shower wh all the other guys you’d get all exced.

GAY SOLDIERS

I mean, if you want to hi, the Mare Corps is one of the bt plac to do that, bee nobody wants to adm they are standg next to a gay guy. I had ma about halfway through and the recer was trated wh how long was takg me, and he said, ’Well, basilly, are you gay?

One Man’s Operatn Iraqi FreedomMany gay servicemen the morn era—cludg Eric Alva (Mar, 1991–2004)—have pleted long ary reers whout their sexualy ever beg revealed. And therefore few people realized that the first Amerin serly wound the vasn of Iraq durg the send Gulf war was a gay Alva signed up, before "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, " he had to lie on his paperwork. Lbians have suffered unr the same prohibns and prejudic and share many of the same experienc, as well as some that are distct, but this article ncentrat on the experience of gay men.

And when, 2006, the battl over "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" the ary and gay marriage the wir muny were simmerg, Alva’s boyiend at the time poted out to him that he did have some notoriety that might be of e.

ARMY’S FIRST OPENLY GAY GENERAL RETIR AFTER SPIRG OTHERS

For gay ary members who choose to do so, there has been the extra burn that their partners mt rema visible. (The meetgs have been arranged through a private onle work lled OutServe, set up only last year, which allows gay and lbian servicepeople a safe and secure way of fdg and munitg wh one another.