Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?"
Contents:
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
- IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
- IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
- 17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
- HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY
- 9 SIGNS TO WATCH OUT FOR IF YOU THK YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
- HE IS GAY / HE IS A GAY.
- HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your boyiend that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men. Sexualy is highly plex and sensive, and there are a lot of accurate stereotyp out there that don't tly... * all i know is that he's gay *
If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your boyiend that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men. There are many reasons why someone might act this way, so this by self is not a surefire sign that he’s gay.
If you believe your boyiend lov and r for you but he "seems to be gay, " keep md that he uld be bisexual, pansexual, or terted men. If he’s gay, he might thrive on other men’s attentn, equently touch or hug them, or exchange flirty ments wh them (pecially about their physil appearance). Notice if he equently hangs out wh his gay iends, or jos them on nights out at LGBTQ+ bars and clubs.
IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
* all i know is that he's gay *
” Notice if he acts unfortable around gay men, regularly mak homophobic ments or jok, or liberately never talks about anythg remotely gay. He might also be wrtlg wh ternalized homophobia or self-loathg bee of the nflict between his inty and his upbrgg.
An enunter his teen or llege years is more likely to mean he’s gay or queer than an experience later life, which uld have more plex explanatns. Don’t rely on gay stereotyp like an effemate voice or walk, flashy or tight clothg, his TV and mic preferenc, or beg a neat eak to terme your boyiend’s sexualy.
In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay.
IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
Is my hband gay? is an unthkable qutn to many wiv, and some hbands do turn out to be gay. Learn the signs of a gay hband. * all i know is that he's gay *
He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men. A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay.
That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay.
17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
If you're readg this, there's a good chance you thk your boyiend might be gay. No doubt you're also feelg pretty nfed and wonrg how to al wh the suatn. It's a very sensive suatn to al wh, and you need to make sure you rpect his feelgs. But at the same time, you n't * all i know is that he's gay *
” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way. Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women. When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.
The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist.
A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them. So if a client is stgglg wh his sexual orientatn and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * all i know is that he's gay *
So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh. And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy.
HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY
Someone's sexualy is personal, so 's important to rpect their privacy. However, you might want to know if a person is gay bee you're terted datg them or want to support them as a iend. Beg open wh them n be... * all i know is that he's gay *
Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay? " Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.
Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own. In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved. But if you're wonrg, "Is my man gay, " might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, acrdg to Kaye.
If turns out that a hband is, fact, gay, the fallout n be difficult to al wh, particularly for the straight partner. What's important to remember is that the hband's homosexualy is entirely his rponsibily and has nothg to do wh the wife.
9 SIGNS TO WATCH OUT FOR IF YOU THK YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
Have you noticed somethg unexpected wh your boyiend that seems gay? Read on to know 'how to tell if your boyiend is gay?' and what n be done. * all i know is that he's gay *
He watch gay pornIf your boyiend watch a lot of gay porn, there’s a good chance he’s sexually terted men. After all, most heterosexual guys have no tert watchg any porn unls there’s a woman your boyiend is tryg to hi his sexualy om you, ’s doubtful that he’ll openly watch gay porn while you’re around. The only way you’ll know is to look at his search history, which is a pretty big vasn of his do he react if you offer to watch gay porn wh him?
He’s been wh men beforeIf he’s been relatnships or hooked up wh men the past, ’s a pretty big ditor that he’s gay or bisexual. ”If you hear this kd of ment a lot, he might be attemptg to normalize his homosexual thoughts by makg them seem like nothg more than a joke.
It’s a way of flectg spicn off of themselv and makg seem like they uld never be terted other to the way your boyiend talks about homosexualy. If so, might be bee he’s secretly stgglg wh his own urse, there are plenty of heterosexual guys who e homophobic language as well.
HE IS GAY / HE IS A GAY.
He’s not terted sleepg wh youThere are lots of reasons why your boyiend might not want to have sex that don’t volve him beg secretly gay. His fantasi volve menA of heterosexual men have sexual fantasi volvg other men, and don’t mean they are gay.
So if your boyiend has a lot of gay iends, uld be bee he’s subnscly tryg to surround himself wh people like urse, plenty of straight guys have gay iends as well. But if seems like the majory of his social circle is gay, uld be a sign that he’s stgglg wh his own sexualy.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
He has a gay datg app on his phoneEven if he hasn’t actually ed the app to hook up wh guys, he’s obvly cur and may be thkg about dog so the future. Keep md that havg a datg app on his phone don’t mean he’s cheatg on you, but you serve to know if he’s actively lookg for other signs your boyiend is gayIt’s jt as important to unrstand all the signals that uld mistakenly lead you to believe your boyiend is gay.
He r about his appearance & groomgThe stereotype of the neat, well-drsed gay man is ridiculo at this pot.