Do You Wanna Funk wh Me?: A Begner’s Gui to Gay Nightclubs | PopMatters

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Whether you are gog to a gay bar alone or wh iends, 's possible to be the most popular one there. This article will teach you how to act and drs orr to make the most out of your night out. Read on for more. No one talks to...

Contents:

HOW ‘GAY’ SHOULD A GAY BAR BE?

AdvertisementSKIP ADVERTISEMENTSocial Berl for The New York TimJune 24, 2017The webse for the Abbey touts s role as a two-time wner of Logo’s “Bt Gay Bar the World” award.

But how gay is ?

“My olr gay clientele were sayg, ‘Gosh, there are so many straight people here, ’” said David Cooley, the bar’s owner.

DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS

’”The Abbey, Wt Hollywood, Calif., is not alone among gay bars facg an inty crisis. In this time of creasg acceptance of lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr people, gay tablishments across the untry are grapplg wh an flux of new newly diverse crowd at the formerly exclive environments has set off a bate wh the muny about the meang and purpose of such bars today.

Somethg that seems to e up a lot the discsn are the groups of straight women who nsir gay bars as the perfect settg for bachelorette Berl for The New York Tim“They e the space to bee ‘wild girls, ’” said Chris McKenzie, a 35-year-old puter programmer Wt Hollywood.

RABOW RANT: SHOULD STRAIGHT PEOPLE GO TO GAY BARS?

“It’s not at all ncert wh what the gay men are there for. Those who do e, regular patrons of gay bars said, tend not to draw much attentn to bate over the evolutn the clientele touch on not only the role and history of gay bars, but also on the stggle to weigh the ncerns of clivy wh the need to reta L. It even begs existential qutns: What do mean to be a gay bar the age of sexual fluidy?

People, and the wir variety of people intifyg wh “queer” issu, who rightfully owns a space once simply lled “gay”? On a recent weekend night, when I vised Indtry, a gay club Manhattan, roughly 15 percent of the crowd were straight women.

“We e to have fun and relax whout anythg sexual, ” said Cathy Merla, who intified herself as Schlueter for The New York TimThe men terviewed for this article strsed that they wele rpectful straight women to the bars, preferably the pany of gay men, lbians or transgenr people.

HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR

“But seems like they want as much attentn om gay men as possible. “It’s like, ‘Let’s go hang out wh “the gays” bee they’re “ol, ”’” Ms. Gatta velopment of what might be lled gay bar tourism has been buildg.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* SHOULD GAY BAR

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class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-riser"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="x8xl2j"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs kaZCaf ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">LGBTQ</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">Jt Bee You’re Queer Don’t Mean You Have to Go to the Bar</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">Five alternativ to the club if you’re sober—or if you’re jt tired of the club.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/alim-kheraj">Alim Kheraj</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2018-01-11T11:36:27-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">January 11, 2018</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="This image may nta Text Rug and Label" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">Photo Illtratn/Getty Imag</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Let me tell you about a recurrg nightmare I have: It's 1 A.M. and I'm queg at a by gay bar to buy a drk. I'm also wearg a at, and bee of said at—that for some reason I haven't taken off—I am sweatg profely while all around me, shirtls, mcle-y men are phg to get to the ont to orr. When I fally manage to claim my spot at the bar and snag a vodka soda (which sts $15, md you), I fd I have no sh. The bar don't take rds. If this nightmare sounds faiar to you, might be bee 's what <em>actually happens to me almost every Saturday night</em> whenever I go out on the gay scene.</p><p>Don't get me wrong: The gay scene n offer the ocsnal magil and rmative experience. As ltle gay boys, many of our first flirtatns wh the scene were surrept viss to bars where we'd drk cheap beer, unrage, and get sh-sred the mute that someone spared a prolonged glance our directn. And as we get olr, gay clubs n bee our sanctuari, our safe spac. Where straight people have systemic heteronormativy and <em>The Notebook</em> to turn to, we have diverse clubs where 's basilly a law to play impecble pop mic.</p><p>But not everybody wants to slut drop to Madonna every eveng, and spe how much of LGBTQ herstory is bted to bars and clubs, I know how exhstg and monotono the late nights, overpriced drks, and gross bar bathrooms n be. But what to do when you're over the rabow roo of happy hours and go-go boys? Venturg outsi nightlife venu n be dntg, but there are some optns that don't volve beg squashed between two hunks a bar while you sweat an unfortunately chosen at (although if that's your thg, babe, keep dog you).</p><hr/><div role="headg" aria-level="5" class="headg-h5">Queers Whout Beers</div><p>This is actually the name of a monthly meet-up London, where I live. Dcribed as a place to meet "others whout the strs of havg to drk loads as well," the typ of sober gathergs might take you way out of your fort zone, but 's weirdly fortg to know that everyone will probably be feelg that way, too (not somethg you n say about your lol gay waterg hole). In fact, you might be surprised by jt how sociable you actually are whout the support of Jack, Jim, or Jerry, and dog a pletely sober environment where every sailor is the same boat creat a sense of solidary. In the words of Ina Garten, "How bad n that be?"</p><div role="headg" aria-level="5" class="headg-h5">The Gay Book Club</div><p>There's never a bad time to start readg more, bee (say wh me) readg is fun-da-men-tal. Obv referenc asi, I joed an LGBTQ book club, and 's been the most fun I've had all year. I've lved eper to the queer lerary non—readg classics like <em>The Color Purple</em> and morn masterpiec like <em>Call Me by Your Name</em>—and also met a fabulo group of people (and some cuti, too) who are willg to shout about whether you n really fuck a peach.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="5" class="headg-h5">Datg Apps (but Not for Datg)</div><p>I tly believe that hook-up apps aren't the place to fd a new job or roommate (serly, do this actually work?!), but creasgly—and pecially big ci—I've seen profil where ers are jt lookg for "iends" or a "gym buddy," although I' nvced that the latter isn't for a different type of workout. But if you're travelg, apps like Grdr n be particularly eful (serly!), and you’d be surprised how many people are lookg to make new iends while <em>also</em> sendg their dick pics and repeated msag of "hey." To avoid pissg anyone off, though, jt be clear what you're lookg for your b, and be prepared if, stead of jt beg iends, that guy who said he'd meet you for ffee actually wants to take you to a pig pen or asks whether he n pay to smell your feet, which happens way more often than you might thk.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="5" class="headg-h5">Your Lol LGBTQ Center/Group</div><p>It'd be nice if every town and cy had an LGBTQ muny center, but 's not the se. If you do have one, though, make e of ! An LGBTQ center or group offers ffee morngs, nng clubs, and perhaps even pottery class. Basilly, there's ually a plethora of thgs on tap that n help alleviate some of that lonely listlsns that, my experience, driv people to the bar even when, really, they'd rather be at home watchg <em>The Great Brish Bakg Show</em>. Show up, fd your queer muny, and be your Bt Gay Self.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="5" class="headg-h5">Social Media Meet-Ups</div><p>Social media might have stolen an electn and killed onle journalism. There are a ln arguments out there suggtg that 's actually ed a disnnectn morn society, but I ma the majory of my iends through s like Twter. I've also bee aware of different LGBTQ groups through Facebook that I might not ever have heard of whout . That's why I always check myself when I fd myself thkg those nversatns I have onle about my favore pop queen (Brney, if you're askg, or even if you're not) are a potls time sap and that I should go and meet people IRL. Instead, save a bucketload of money and book tickets to Las Vegas (she's reportedly g back 2018, start savg!) wh your digal iends, bee losg your md to "…Baby One More Time" wh them uld be (will be, really) the greatt moment of your life.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="nck91c"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="TagCloudWrapper" class="TagCloudWrapper-gGgndx izEVNC ContentFooterTagCloud-krQmRG ZLGh"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudSectnHear-cOforY iUEiRd dUgcfE kQQRmu">Related Stori for GQ</span><a href="/about/lgbtq" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fhQbnq iGlBER hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd fdqZBT bUkXwu">LGBTQ</span></a></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ntent-bottom-anchor"></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><asi class="RecircListTextOverlayWrapper-EAayj ikNPKA ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="recirc-list__ntaer"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ RecircListTextOverlayHeadg-icEzDE iUEiRd fWXTnu iCFeNq">Read More</hear><ul class="RecircListTextOverlayItems-kknlpG lpbERO recirc-list__ems hi-read-more-ad"><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a 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Scientifilly </div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ashw Rodrigu</span></span></p></div></div></a></li></ul></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt TaboolaWidget-eUSdED hQCCRa" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetWrapper"><div class="TaboolaWidgetContent-iBEQTO eXroXG TABOOLA" id="taboola-below-article-thumbnails" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetContent"></div></div></div></div><div class="SavgsUnedCouponsWrapper-gPnqA-d dJvybl"><div class="CouponGrid-bStwlh eCKeZn"><div 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