What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

accepting gay daughter

Two years after their child ' out' as lbian, gay or bisexual (LGB), many parents still say that is morately or very hard for them to adjt to the news, acrdg to a new study." id="metasummary

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MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

Parents want their children to be happy, healthy, and safe. If your child out to you as LGBTQ (lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or queer), that may or may not be somethg you imaged or feel prepared for—but your acceptance really matters to their health and safety. * accepting gay daughter *

If your child out to you as LGBTQ (lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or queer), that may or may not be somethg you imaged or feel prepared for—but your acceptance really matters to their health and safety. Her rearch shows how fai n learn to support the children—even if they believe that beg gay or transgenr is wrong. Askg them about their experience and how you n help them feel supportedlisteng whout terptg or argugtellg them you love them and exprs affectnlearng together about issu LGBTQ youth face by jog an LGBTQ fay support anizatn, such as PFLAG, Genr Spectm, Genr Odyssey, or Strong Fay Allianctandg up for your child when they are mistreated, even by other fay membershelpg your child fd an LGBTQ role mol for your child among iends and fay members or through PFLAG or other support groupstalkg to your relig lears about helpg your place of worship bee more supportive of LGBTQ people, or fd a more supportive place of worship at, Q Christian Fellowship, Khet, or Mlims for Progrsive Valuenuragg fay and iends to check wh your child and show supportchallengg homophobic mentsgettg to know your child’s LGBTQ iends and romantic partnersupport your child’s genr exprsn...

Many of the straight parents I terviewed for When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know exprsed havg felt disappotment learng that their child was LGBT. Would he be fired at his job if his supervisors found out that he were gay? Would he have to live a gay-iendly neighborhood?

RORY FEEK STGGLED TO ACCEPT THAT DGHTER IS GAY: 'MY JOB IS TO LOVE HER EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD'

Many parents stggle for years to adjt after learng child is gay, acrdg to a new study om Gee Washgton Universy public health rearchers. * accepting gay daughter *

Natalie, 63, a mother om Long Island, found out that two of her three children were gay. " Natalie felt that was a loss to the fay geic pool and kept wonrg if beg gay was a choice. Richard Ogawa of Seattle figured out he was gay llege.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

She jt told me she’s gay. I’ve already talked to her about sex wh boys—how do I talk to her about girls? * accepting gay daughter *

Richard told me, "Perhaps if every parent toyed wh the possibily that any of their children uld be gay, would change the way they raise their children.

Gay children are no different—so ltle of their sexual orientatn has to do wh who they are as a whole. "It is rare to work wh parents of a gay child who have not stggled wh the feelg of loss at some pot the procs of acceptg their child as gay, " my -thor, Jonathan Tobk, M.

Parents feel sad that their gay child has lost the possibily of havg a life whout signifint difficulty. " Yet Tobk has found that "gay people tell you they are happy wh who they are and feel that they have emerged on the other si of g out as strong, sensive, and rilient dividuals. Havg a gay child is not a loss of a child altogether.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

Parents of gay children may go through an adjtment perd when they fd out their child is gay, but there is support for parents of gay children. * accepting gay daughter *

” Fally, Amanda buried her head her pillow and said, “I’m gay. A new study nducted by rearchers at Gee Washgton Universy found that most parents of lbian, gay, and bisexual youth have difficulty adjtg after their kids e study says is one of the first to systematilly exame the experience of parents raisg lbian, gay and bisexual children. ”The study found that Ain Amerin and Lato parents have a harr time acceptg their lbian, gay and bisexual children, as do the parents of children who e out at a later study, which surveyed a much larger sample size than prev studi, nfirmed smaller studi that showed parents’ negative reactns tend to ease over time; the first two years are the harst for were no signifint differenc reactns between mother and father, the age of the parent, or the genr of the child.

The study did not exame the reactns for the parents of transgenr general, acceptance seems to be growg rapidly for lbian, gay and bisexual youth. There’s a lot of kids my school who are gay. She jt told me she’s gay.

Sign up to get "Dear Therapist" your Therapist, As a parent, I firmly believe that is my duty to prepare my kids to be posive, healthy, and productive people both the world and personal when my 12-year-old dghter announced that she is gay, my md started spng. When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns.

'RETURN THE KEY': THE PARENTS WHO REJECT THEIR GAY CHILDREN

Chris Jewell’s parents disowned him after fdg out he was gay, but he is not alone his story of parental rejectn * accepting gay daughter *

As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child.

Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.

If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero. The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life.

RAISG A GAY TEEN: WHEN FAH, FAY AND SEXUALY LLI

Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG).

List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children. Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn). Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc.

Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay. Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* ACCEPTING GAY DAUGHTER

Raisg a gay teen: When fah, fay and sexualy lli .

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