India's First Openly Gay Prce Turned His Palace Into a Safe Haven for the LGBTQ+ Communy

Contents:

• IN INDIA, A GAY PRCE’S COMG OUT EARNS ACLAS, AND ENEMI
• THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO COME OUT AS QUEER INDIABY ADI MURTI JAN 14, 2020SHARE IMAGE CRED: SHUTTERSTOCKACRDG TO HISTORIAN GEE CHNCEY, THE PHRASE “G OUT” — MONLY ED TO NOTE PUBLICLY REVEALG ONE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN AS LGBTQIA+ — OW S GENIS TO BUTANTE BALLS, AT WHICH YOUNG WOMEN PRENTED THEMSELV TO SOCIETY. HOWEVER, RATHER THAN A ‘BUT,’ G OUT WAS MORE A PHASE OF DISVERY. HE WROTE, “IN THE 1920S REFERRED TO IATN TO THE GAY WORLD, AND EVEN WHEN ‘G OUT’ WAS ED A NARROWER SENSE, TO REFER TO THE PROCS BY WHICH SOMEONE ME TO REGNIZE HIS SEXUAL TERT OTHER MEN, REFERRED TO SOMETHG OTHER THAN A SOLARY EXPERIENCE.”  IN INDIA, WHERE NSERVATIVE ATTUS TOWARDS LGBTQIA+ INTI OFTEN MORPH TO STIGMA AND VLENCE, G OUT TO ONE’S FAY AND LOVED ON N LEAD TO A HOR OF TERRIBLE NSEQUENC, OM DISOWNG TO HONOR KILLG TO RRECTIVE RAP.COMG OUT AS QUEER IS NO PLEASANT S SCENE, NO INSTAGRAM QUOTE AFFIRMATN. IT IS OFTEN AS FEARSOME, GUT-WRENCHG, AND PANIC-DUCG AS IS AN OUTPOURG OF RELIEF AND JOY. BUT G OUT IS THE BEDROCK OF DIVIDUAL QUEER INTY AND IS EPLY TERTWED WH MENTAL STABILY. THIS ALSO MAK G OUT TENSELY PERSONAL, AS , THERE’S NO RRECT WAY TO E OUT. HOWEVER, THERE DO EXIST MONALI EXPERIENC WH THE INDIAN NTEXT — BOTH GOOD AND BAD — THAT ULD PERHAPS MAKE GEARG UP TO E OUT A LS SOLARY EXPERIENCE. WE SPOKE TO MULTIPLE QUEER PEOPLE WHO HAVE E OUT TO FAY AND IENDS AND A QUEER-AFFIRMG THERAPIST TO UNRSTAND THE PSYCHOLOGIL TRIALS AND TRIUMPHS OF G OUT AS QUEER.RELATED ON THE SWADDLE:ONE YEAR SCE THE SECTN 377 VERDICT, WHAT HAS CHANGED?“[SEXUALY] IS THE BASIS OF ONE OF THE FACTORS THAT MAKE UP YOUR INTY, AND ’S POSSIBLE THAT IF YOU DON’T E OUT, YOU WON’T FEEL LIKE YOUR THENTIC SELF,” SAID ISHA GUPTA, A QUEER-AFFIRMG UNSELG PSYCHOLOGIST AND FOUNR OF BREAKTHROUGH COUNSELLG, MUMBAI. BEE QUEERNS IS SUCH A VAL PART OF ONE’S INTY AND LIFTYLE, LIVG BEHD A CLOSET TAK A TOLL ON MENTAL HEALTH. A CLOSETED QUEER PERSON — PECIALLY THOSE MARRIED — ULD DISSOCIATE, OR PH THE THOUGHT OF THEIR INTY FAR AWAY OM THEIR MDS DUE TO THE STRS ED BY THOUGHTS OF G OUT. A PERMANENTLY CLOSETED LIFE ULD BE POPULATED WH EP UNHAPPS, SECRETS, MARRIAG OF NVENIENCE, OTHER, MORE DANGERO PG MECHANISMS, AND SKG TO PRSN OR SUICIDAL IATN. “I HAD NO IA WHAT TO EXPECT OR WHAT TO EVEN SAY — THE LANGUAGE FELT SO ‘WTERN’ AND FOREIGN.”PRIYA ARORA, 30, QUEER, NONBARY BEYOND SEXUALY, DIVIDUALS WHO FEEL LIKE THEY AREN’T THE GENR THEY WERE ASSIGNED AT BIRTH, OR DON’T INTIFY WH ONE SPECIFIC GENR, OR DON’T WANT TO BE EHER GENR AT ALL (THAT IS, GENRQUEER/NON-BARY AND TRANSGENR DIVIDUALS), MAY HAVE TO HI BOTH THEIR GENR INTY AND SEXUALY — WHICH N BE CREDIBLY DIFFICULT. GUPTA ADD, “IT’S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT WH GENR DYSPHORIA OF ANY KD,” REFERRG TO THE DISTRS ED BY A MISMATCH FELT BETWEEN GENR INTY AND SEX ASSIGNED AT BIRTH. “MOST KIDS ONLY E TO TERMS WH THIS FEELG OF OTHERNS RATHER THAN BEG TOLD ’S NORMAL. PL, DYSPHORIA MIGHT GET ELEVATED IF YOU DON’T E OUT.”SCE G OUT N BE A MENTALLY TAXG ACTIVY, WAG TO DO IS ALSO QUE STRSFUL. “THE LEAD UP WAS UNBEARABLE — PART OF ME JT WANTED TO DO ASAP AND GET OVER WH, AND THE OTHER PART WAS SO FEARFUL OF WHAT BOTH THE IMMEDIATE AND LONG-TERM REACTN WOULD BE. I HAD NO IA WHAT TO EXPECT OR WHAT TO EVEN SAY — THE LANGUAGE FELT SO ‘WTERN’ AND FOREIGN, AND I HAD TO FD A WAY TO TALK ABOUT GENR AND SEXUALY, WHICH HAD NEVER BEFORE REALLY BEEN DISCSED MY FAY,” SAID PRIYA ARORA, 30, QUEER, NONBARY, AND HOST OF THE PODST QUEERG DI. ADI, 36, WHO INTIFI AS A LBIAN, ADD, “I WAS EXTREMELY ANX, EMOTNAL, FELT EXPOSED BEE I ULDN’T PRETEND EVERYTHG WAS HUNKY-DORY AND THIS LEAD ME SLEEPLS NIGHTS, FEELG VULNERABLE.”HOWEVER, G OUT IS NOT A ONE-TIME THG, UNFORTUNATELY. IT IS A LONG, VOLATILE, EVOLVG, REPETIVE SERI OF NVERSATNS ABOUT ONE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN. OVER TIME, AS ONE GETS MORE FORTABLE WH THEIR INTY, THE PROCS BE A LOT EASIER AND A LTLE LS TRATG TO EXPLA. “FOR QUEER PEOPLE, EVERY NEW PERSON IS A VARIABLE THAT GETS FED TO A MENTAL ARHMETIC OF TRYG TO CI WHETHER IS SAFE TO E OUT TO THIS PERSON, AND HOW MUCH OF MY INTY I SHOULD SHARE WH THEM,” SAID ARVD, 24, WHO INTIFI AS GENRQUEER AND BISEXUAL.RELATED ON THE SWADDLE:WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE OPENLY QUEER AND EXIST WH AN INDIAN FAYWHILE G OUT, IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO NOTE THE IMMEDIATE CULTURAL ENVIRONMENT, TIMATE THE POTENTIAL REACTN AND PREPARE FOR ACRDGLY. MULTIPLE SOURC FOR THIS PIECE STRSED THE IMPORTANCE OF FANCIAL PENNCE, EMOTNAL STABILY, AND A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM PECIALLY BEFORE G OUT TO ONE’S FAY. “IN A FEW S, WHERE PARENTS ARE ULTRA-NSERVATIVE — AND THERE ARE MANY — MIGHT BE PNT TO WA TILL YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY THAT THEY N NOT PHYSILLY HARM YOU. I ALSO BELIEVE IS BETTER TO FD EMPLOYMENT METRO CI IF YOU ARE QUEER, AS YOU GET TO MEET MORE PEOPLE OM THE MUNY AND IS MORE ACCEPTABLE PARED TO TIER 2 AND TIER 3 CI,” SAID ABHAV DEVARIA, 25. “THE ONLY REASON MY G OUT HAD NO REPERCSNS WAS THAT I HAD SPENT YEARS MAKG VERY CLEAR TO MY FAY THAT THEY HAD NO SAY, NO NTROL, OVER ANYTHG I DID WH MY LIFE,” SAID ANHKA SIERRA, 27.“MY FIRST BIG PROBLEM AFTER I ME OUT WAS THAT I HAD TO FD A QUEER-IENDLY GENR-AFFIRMG THERAPIST AS SOON AS I ULD. MY EMOTNAL SAFETY PEND ON THAT.” ARVD, 24, WHO INTIFI AS GENRQUEER AND BISEXUAL WHILE G OUT, SEEKG OUT THE RIGHT THERAPIST IS ALSO PIVOTAL TO ONE’S MENTAL HEALTH. “MY FIRST BIG PROBLEM AFTER I ME OUT WAS THAT I HAD TO FD A QUEER-IENDLY GENR-AFFIRMG THERAPIST AS SOON AS I ULD. MY EMOTNAL SAFETY PEND ON THAT. MY PARENTS TOLD ME THEY WANTED ME TO GET CERTIFIED BY A THERAPIST THAT I’M ‘NORMAL,’ BUT I’D SOON E TO REALIZE THAT WHAT THEY MEANT WAS THAT THEY WILL FIRST ATTEMPT TO ‘CURE’ ME AND ONLY UPON SUFFICIENT E TO BELIEVE THAT THIS N’T BE CURED, NSIR ACCEPTG ME,” SAID ARVD. HE ADD, “THIS LEFT THE FIELD WI OPEN FOR GRIFTERS AND NVERSN THERAPISTS TO START SPNG THEIR STORI. ONE ALLEGEDLY TOLD MY PARENTS THAT HE WOULD CURE ME, BUT ONLY IF I CUT OFF ALL NTACT WH THE LGBTQ+ MUNY, WHICH WOULD OTHERWISE ‘BRAWASH’ ME.”ANOTHER IMPORTANT POTENTIAL OCCURRENCE TO BRACE FOR IS WHEN SOMEONE ELSE REVEALS ONE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN, OR ‘OUTS’ ONE, BEFORE ONE N E OUT. “A MAN ON A DATG SE THREATENED TO OUT ME TO MY PARENTS. I WAS TERRIFIED OF THE NSEQUENC. I FELT UNPREPARED, UNGUID AND ILL-EQUIPPED TO AL WH THE SUATN. [BUT] MY TTH WAS ME TO TELL. I WAS A SUATN WHERE I ULD BE ROBBED OF THIS OPPORTUNY AND HENCE CHOSE TO TAKE THE STEP BEFORE ANYONE TOOK AWAY OM ME,” SAID PARTH RAHATEKAR, 20, WHO ALSO ADD, “YOUR STORY IS YOURS TO TELL. YOUR LABELS ARE YOURS TO FE. BUT, YOUR PHYSIL SAFETY IS ABOVE EVERYTHG ELSE, SO PLEASE DO NOT FEEL PRSURED TO BE BRAVE IF YOU MAY BE DANGER OF BEG HURT. INSI THE CLOSET OR OUT OF — YOU ARE VALUED, LOVED AND VALID.”RELATED ON THE SWADDLE:‘MOOTHON’ STRIPS QUEER LOVE OF STEREOTYP, SIGNALS SHIFT MALAYALAM CEMAIF G OUT LEADS TO FEELG SHAME, GUILT, AND HUIATN, GUPTA TOUGH LOVE TO REMEND A SURVIVAL MECHANISM. “IF YOU ARE A TERRIBLE SUATN AND THERE’S NO WAY OUT, YOU WILL BE ONE OF THE LNS WHO WILL HAVE AWFUL LIV, AND LIFE IS NEVER FAIR. I UNRSTAND THAT THIS IS AWFUL, BUT PEOPLE WILL NOT STOP BEG UNFAIR TO YOU, AND THERE’S NOT MUCH YOU N DO. WHAT LTLE YOU N DO, IS NCENTRATG ON THE PARTS THAT REWARD YOU. WHAT YOU N ALSO DO IS TRY TO FLUENCE BEHAVR — RATHER THAN NTROLLG, SAY YOUR PARENTS’ VOLATILE REACTN TO YOUR INTY BY FIGHTG BACK AND MAKG YOUR SUATN WORSE, IS THERE ANYTHG YOU N DO TO FLECT FOC AND STEER TOWARDS POSIVY?” GUPTA SAYS. “IT MAY SOUND BLEAK AND NOT RIGHT TO WORK YOUR WAY AROUND YOUR OWN INTY, BUT NSIR A TEMPORARY PG MECHANISM WHILE YOU WORK YOUR WAY TOWARDS PENNCE.”COMG OUT MAY SOUND TERRIFYG, BUT IS ALSO ONE OF THE BRAVT, OLT, MOST IMPORTANT WAYS A QUEER DIVIDUAL N E OF AGE AND STAND UP FOR THEMSELV. HOWEVER, REMAS IMPORTANT TO DO ONE’S DUE DILIGENCE AND PROTECT ONE’S SAFETY AND MENTAL HEALTH BEFORE ATTEMPTG TO DO SO, PECIALLY A NSERVATIVE ENVIRONMENT.ALSO, HERE’S AN TERTG TIDB: WHEN ASKED IF THEY REGRETTED G OUT, NOT A SGLE TERVIEW SUBJECT SAID THEY REGRETTED OR WILL EVER REGRET .SHARE TAGS G OF AGE | FGERS CROSSED | LGBTQIA+ WRTEN BY ADI MURTI ADI MURTI IS A CULTURE WRER AT THE SWADDLE. PREVLY, SHE WORKED AS A EELANCE JOURNALIST FOCED ON GENR AND CI. FD HER ON SOCIAL MEDIA @ADIMURTI. SEE ALL ARTICL BY ADILATT CULTURE ARTICL WHOSE DATA IS IT?YOU OWN YOUR DATA EVEN LS NOW
• INDIA'S FIRST OPENLY GAY PRCE ENDURED YEARS OF TORTURO NVERSN THERAPY. NOW, HE'S FIGHTG TO MAKE THE PRACTICE ILLEGAL.
• FIRST OPENLY GAY INDIAN PRCE TALKS ABOUT COMG OUT
• THE SLOW EVOLUTN OF GAY CULTURE INDIA

IN INDIA, A GAY PRCE’S COMG OUT EARNS ACLAS, AND ENEMI

In 2017, when he told his parents he was gay, their illn of him as the perfect son shattered. Unlike Sourav, who nfintly asserts himself as a gay man spe the phback om his loved on, back the 1980s and 1990s, I had no termology to scribe what I was.

THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO COME OUT AS QUEER INDIABY ADI MURTI JAN 14, 2020SHARE IMAGE CRED: SHUTTERSTOCKACRDG TO HISTORIAN GEE CHNCEY, THE PHRASE “G OUT” — MONLY ED TO NOTE PUBLICLY REVEALG ONE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN AS LGBTQIA+ — OW S GENIS TO BUTANTE BALLS, AT WHICH YOUNG WOMEN PRENTED THEMSELV TO SOCIETY. HOWEVER, RATHER THAN A ‘BUT,’ G OUT WAS MORE A PHASE OF DISVERY. HE WROTE, “IN THE 1920S REFERRED TO IATN TO THE GAY WORLD, AND EVEN WHEN ‘G OUT’ WAS ED A NARROWER SENSE, TO REFER TO THE PROCS BY WHICH SOMEONE ME TO REGNIZE HIS SEXUAL TERT OTHER MEN, REFERRED TO SOMETHG OTHER THAN A SOLARY EXPERIENCE.”  IN INDIA, WHERE NSERVATIVE ATTUS TOWARDS LGBTQIA+ INTI OFTEN MORPH TO STIGMA AND VLENCE, G OUT TO ONE’S FAY AND LOVED ON N LEAD TO A HOR OF TERRIBLE NSEQUENC, OM DISOWNG TO HONOR KILLG TO RRECTIVE RAP.COMG OUT AS QUEER IS NO PLEASANT S SCENE, NO INSTAGRAM QUOTE AFFIRMATN. IT IS OFTEN AS FEARSOME, GUT-WRENCHG, AND PANIC-DUCG AS IS AN OUTPOURG OF RELIEF AND JOY. BUT G OUT IS THE BEDROCK OF DIVIDUAL QUEER INTY AND IS EPLY TERTWED WH MENTAL STABILY. THIS ALSO MAK G OUT TENSELY PERSONAL, AS , THERE’S NO RRECT WAY TO E OUT. HOWEVER, THERE DO EXIST MONALI EXPERIENC WH THE INDIAN NTEXT — BOTH GOOD AND BAD — THAT ULD PERHAPS MAKE GEARG UP TO E OUT A LS SOLARY EXPERIENCE. WE SPOKE TO MULTIPLE QUEER PEOPLE WHO HAVE E OUT TO FAY AND IENDS AND A QUEER-AFFIRMG THERAPIST TO UNRSTAND THE PSYCHOLOGIL TRIALS AND TRIUMPHS OF G OUT AS QUEER.RELATED ON THE SWADDLE:ONE YEAR SCE THE SECTN 377 VERDICT, WHAT HAS CHANGED?“[SEXUALY] IS THE BASIS OF ONE OF THE FACTORS THAT MAKE UP YOUR INTY, AND ’S POSSIBLE THAT IF YOU DON’T E OUT, YOU WON’T FEEL LIKE YOUR THENTIC SELF,” SAID ISHA GUPTA, A QUEER-AFFIRMG UNSELG PSYCHOLOGIST AND FOUNR OF BREAKTHROUGH COUNSELLG, MUMBAI. BEE QUEERNS IS SUCH A VAL PART OF ONE’S INTY AND LIFTYLE, LIVG BEHD A CLOSET TAK A TOLL ON MENTAL HEALTH. A CLOSETED QUEER PERSON — PECIALLY THOSE MARRIED — ULD DISSOCIATE, OR PH THE THOUGHT OF THEIR INTY FAR AWAY OM THEIR MDS DUE TO THE STRS ED BY THOUGHTS OF G OUT. A PERMANENTLY CLOSETED LIFE ULD BE POPULATED WH EP UNHAPPS, SECRETS, MARRIAG OF NVENIENCE, OTHER, MORE DANGERO PG MECHANISMS, AND SKG TO PRSN OR SUICIDAL IATN. “I HAD NO IA WHAT TO EXPECT OR WHAT TO EVEN SAY — THE LANGUAGE FELT SO ‘WTERN’ AND FOREIGN.”PRIYA ARORA, 30, QUEER, NONBARY BEYOND SEXUALY, DIVIDUALS WHO FEEL LIKE THEY AREN’T THE GENR THEY WERE ASSIGNED AT BIRTH, OR DON’T INTIFY WH ONE SPECIFIC GENR, OR DON’T WANT TO BE EHER GENR AT ALL (THAT IS, GENRQUEER/NON-BARY AND TRANSGENR DIVIDUALS), MAY HAVE TO HI BOTH THEIR GENR INTY AND SEXUALY — WHICH N BE CREDIBLY DIFFICULT. GUPTA ADD, “IT’S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT WH GENR DYSPHORIA OF ANY KD,” REFERRG TO THE DISTRS ED BY A MISMATCH FELT BETWEEN GENR INTY AND SEX ASSIGNED AT BIRTH. “MOST KIDS ONLY E TO TERMS WH THIS FEELG OF OTHERNS RATHER THAN BEG TOLD ’S NORMAL. PL, DYSPHORIA MIGHT GET ELEVATED IF YOU DON’T E OUT.”SCE G OUT N BE A MENTALLY TAXG ACTIVY, WAG TO DO IS ALSO QUE STRSFUL. “THE LEAD UP WAS UNBEARABLE — PART OF ME JT WANTED TO DO ASAP AND GET OVER WH, AND THE OTHER PART WAS SO FEARFUL OF WHAT BOTH THE IMMEDIATE AND LONG-TERM REACTN WOULD BE. I HAD NO IA WHAT TO EXPECT OR WHAT TO EVEN SAY — THE LANGUAGE FELT SO ‘WTERN’ AND FOREIGN, AND I HAD TO FD A WAY TO TALK ABOUT GENR AND SEXUALY, WHICH HAD NEVER BEFORE REALLY BEEN DISCSED MY FAY,” SAID PRIYA ARORA, 30, QUEER, NONBARY, AND HOST OF THE PODST QUEERG DI. ADI, 36, WHO INTIFI AS A LBIAN, ADD, “I WAS EXTREMELY ANX, EMOTNAL, FELT EXPOSED BEE I ULDN’T PRETEND EVERYTHG WAS HUNKY-DORY AND THIS LEAD ME SLEEPLS NIGHTS, FEELG VULNERABLE.”HOWEVER, G OUT IS NOT A ONE-TIME THG, UNFORTUNATELY. IT IS A LONG, VOLATILE, EVOLVG, REPETIVE SERI OF NVERSATNS ABOUT ONE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN. OVER TIME, AS ONE GETS MORE FORTABLE WH THEIR INTY, THE PROCS BE A LOT EASIER AND A LTLE LS TRATG TO EXPLA. “FOR QUEER PEOPLE, EVERY NEW PERSON IS A VARIABLE THAT GETS FED TO A MENTAL ARHMETIC OF TRYG TO CI WHETHER IS SAFE TO E OUT TO THIS PERSON, AND HOW MUCH OF MY INTY I SHOULD SHARE WH THEM,” SAID ARVD, 24, WHO INTIFI AS GENRQUEER AND BISEXUAL.RELATED ON THE SWADDLE:WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE OPENLY QUEER AND EXIST WH AN INDIAN FAYWHILE G OUT, IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO NOTE THE IMMEDIATE CULTURAL ENVIRONMENT, TIMATE THE POTENTIAL REACTN AND PREPARE FOR ACRDGLY. MULTIPLE SOURC FOR THIS PIECE STRSED THE IMPORTANCE OF FANCIAL PENNCE, EMOTNAL STABILY, AND A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM PECIALLY BEFORE G OUT TO ONE’S FAY. “IN A FEW S, WHERE PARENTS ARE ULTRA-NSERVATIVE — AND THERE ARE MANY — MIGHT BE PNT TO WA TILL YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY THAT THEY N NOT PHYSILLY HARM YOU. I ALSO BELIEVE IS BETTER TO FD EMPLOYMENT METRO CI IF YOU ARE QUEER, AS YOU GET TO MEET MORE PEOPLE OM THE MUNY AND IS MORE ACCEPTABLE PARED TO TIER 2 AND TIER 3 CI,” SAID ABHAV DEVARIA, 25. “THE ONLY REASON MY G OUT HAD NO REPERCSNS WAS THAT I HAD SPENT YEARS MAKG VERY CLEAR TO MY FAY THAT THEY HAD NO SAY, NO NTROL, OVER ANYTHG I DID WH MY LIFE,” SAID ANHKA SIERRA, 27.“MY FIRST BIG PROBLEM AFTER I ME OUT WAS THAT I HAD TO FD A QUEER-IENDLY GENR-AFFIRMG THERAPIST AS SOON AS I ULD. MY EMOTNAL SAFETY PEND ON THAT.” ARVD, 24, WHO INTIFI AS GENRQUEER AND BISEXUAL WHILE G OUT, SEEKG OUT THE RIGHT THERAPIST IS ALSO PIVOTAL TO ONE’S MENTAL HEALTH. “MY FIRST BIG PROBLEM AFTER I ME OUT WAS THAT I HAD TO FD A QUEER-IENDLY GENR-AFFIRMG THERAPIST AS SOON AS I ULD. MY EMOTNAL SAFETY PEND ON THAT. MY PARENTS TOLD ME THEY WANTED ME TO GET CERTIFIED BY A THERAPIST THAT I’M ‘NORMAL,’ BUT I’D SOON E TO REALIZE THAT WHAT THEY MEANT WAS THAT THEY WILL FIRST ATTEMPT TO ‘CURE’ ME AND ONLY UPON SUFFICIENT E TO BELIEVE THAT THIS N’T BE CURED, NSIR ACCEPTG ME,” SAID ARVD. HE ADD, “THIS LEFT THE FIELD WI OPEN FOR GRIFTERS AND NVERSN THERAPISTS TO START SPNG THEIR STORI. ONE ALLEGEDLY TOLD MY PARENTS THAT HE WOULD CURE ME, BUT ONLY IF I CUT OFF ALL NTACT WH THE LGBTQ+ MUNY, WHICH WOULD OTHERWISE ‘BRAWASH’ ME.”ANOTHER IMPORTANT POTENTIAL OCCURRENCE TO BRACE FOR IS WHEN SOMEONE ELSE REVEALS ONE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN, OR ‘OUTS’ ONE, BEFORE ONE N E OUT. “A MAN ON A DATG SE THREATENED TO OUT ME TO MY PARENTS. I WAS TERRIFIED OF THE NSEQUENC. I FELT UNPREPARED, UNGUID AND ILL-EQUIPPED TO AL WH THE SUATN. [BUT] MY TTH WAS ME TO TELL. I WAS A SUATN WHERE I ULD BE ROBBED OF THIS OPPORTUNY AND HENCE CHOSE TO TAKE THE STEP BEFORE ANYONE TOOK AWAY OM ME,” SAID PARTH RAHATEKAR, 20, WHO ALSO ADD, “YOUR STORY IS YOURS TO TELL. YOUR LABELS ARE YOURS TO FE. BUT, YOUR PHYSIL SAFETY IS ABOVE EVERYTHG ELSE, SO PLEASE DO NOT FEEL PRSURED TO BE BRAVE IF YOU MAY BE DANGER OF BEG HURT. INSI THE CLOSET OR OUT OF — YOU ARE VALUED, LOVED AND VALID.”RELATED ON THE SWADDLE:‘MOOTHON’ STRIPS QUEER LOVE OF STEREOTYP, SIGNALS SHIFT MALAYALAM CEMAIF G OUT LEADS TO FEELG SHAME, GUILT, AND HUIATN, GUPTA TOUGH LOVE TO REMEND A SURVIVAL MECHANISM. “IF YOU ARE A TERRIBLE SUATN AND THERE’S NO WAY OUT, YOU WILL BE ONE OF THE LNS WHO WILL HAVE AWFUL LIV, AND LIFE IS NEVER FAIR. I UNRSTAND THAT THIS IS AWFUL, BUT PEOPLE WILL NOT STOP BEG UNFAIR TO YOU, AND THERE’S NOT MUCH YOU N DO. WHAT LTLE YOU N DO, IS NCENTRATG ON THE PARTS THAT REWARD YOU. WHAT YOU N ALSO DO IS TRY TO FLUENCE BEHAVR — RATHER THAN NTROLLG, SAY YOUR PARENTS’ VOLATILE REACTN TO YOUR INTY BY FIGHTG BACK AND MAKG YOUR SUATN WORSE, IS THERE ANYTHG YOU N DO TO FLECT FOC AND STEER TOWARDS POSIVY?” GUPTA SAYS. “IT MAY SOUND BLEAK AND NOT RIGHT TO WORK YOUR WAY AROUND YOUR OWN INTY, BUT NSIR A TEMPORARY PG MECHANISM WHILE YOU WORK YOUR WAY TOWARDS PENNCE.”COMG OUT MAY SOUND TERRIFYG, BUT IS ALSO ONE OF THE BRAVT, OLT, MOST IMPORTANT WAYS A QUEER DIVIDUAL N E OF AGE AND STAND UP FOR THEMSELV. HOWEVER, REMAS IMPORTANT TO DO ONE’S DUE DILIGENCE AND PROTECT ONE’S SAFETY AND MENTAL HEALTH BEFORE ATTEMPTG TO DO SO, PECIALLY A NSERVATIVE ENVIRONMENT.ALSO, HERE’S AN TERTG TIDB: WHEN ASKED IF THEY REGRETTED G OUT, NOT A SGLE TERVIEW SUBJECT SAID THEY REGRETTED OR WILL EVER REGRET .SHARE TAGS G OF AGE | FGERS CROSSED | LGBTQIA+ WRTEN BY ADI MURTI ADI MURTI IS A CULTURE WRER AT THE SWADDLE. PREVLY, SHE WORKED AS A EELANCE JOURNALIST FOCED ON GENR AND CI. FD HER ON SOCIAL MEDIA @ADIMURTI. SEE ALL ARTICL BY ADILATT CULTURE ARTICL WHOSE DATA IS IT?YOU OWN YOUR DATA EVEN LS NOW

There was emotnal blackmail, cludg beg blamed for his mother’s illns; beg taken by his parents to nsult a homophobic nropsychiatrist who diagnosed him wh a “sexual disorr”, prcribed meditn for and remend unsellg to rrect his ways; and opprsive parental surveillance, aid by the lack of privacy their two-room home. To his horror, she told him that he was “not normal”, followed by advice monly given to young gay men: bee more “mascule”.

INDIA'S FIRST OPENLY GAY PRCE ENDURED YEARS OF TORTURO NVERSN THERAPY. NOW, HE'S FIGHTG TO MAKE THE PRACTICE ILLEGAL.

He believ that if his father had not been homophobic, his mother would have e around by now. The transphobic and homophobic people peddlg illegal, unscpulo treatments are not likely to disappear overnight. 1, 2020NEW DELHI — Born to a royal fay that once led the kgdom of Raipla India, he was raised the fay’s palac and mansns and was beg groomed to take over a dynasty that go back 600 then he gave an terview that prompted his mother to disown him and set off protts his hometown, where he was burned g out as gay that 2006 terview, Prce Manvendra Sgh Gohil has faced a torrent of bullyg and threats, and was dishered by his fay for a he has also earned global aclas for his L.

FIRST OPENLY GAY INDIAN PRCE TALKS ABOUT COMG OUT

Advocy, beg one of the few gay-rights activists the world wh such royal part of his efforts, Prce Manvendra, 55, has appeared on “The Oprah Wey Show” three tim, swapped life stori wh Kris Jenner on “Keepg Up Wh the Kardashians” and is workg to tablish a shelter for L. Among gay Manvendra and his hband, Andre Richardson, have spent the last few months lockdown gettg the shelter ready. ShutterstockWhen the prce shared that he was gay that ont-page newspaper terview 14 years ago, created a storm of mostly negative publicy.

Beg gay was a crimal offense India unr the archaic Brish law effect at the time. ”Beg gay was not a possibily that ever crossed his md, he said, bee he knew nothg about .

THE SLOW EVOLUTN OF GAY CULTURE INDIA

I saw an article about Ashok Row Kavi and his gay magaze Bombay Dost. I cid to get touch wh him and ask him if I uld possibly be gay, ” he Kavi is a father of India’s gay-rights movement.

In 1977, he me out publicly and went on to found Bombay Dost, India’s first gay magaze, 1990. He found the Humsafar Tst, the first group to provi health servic and advocy for gay men, Kavi troduced Prce Manvendra to other people the muny and traed him as a unselor. He said the prce quietly fund the first telephone help le for gay people 2000, wh Mr.

Kavi’s enuragement, the prce started the Lakshya Tst Gujarat to help the gay muny work was fulfillg, but as a closeted gay man, the prce said, beme creasgly difficult to do the advocy work need for Lakshya. ’”But every doctor his parents nsulted told them the same thg — homosexualy was not a disease or a mental disorr.