The female spoe: A procs of separatn when a hband ' out' as gay - PMC

him and her gay

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THE LBIAN WRER AND HER FLAMBOYANT GAY HBAND

Sexual orientatn refers to the endurg physil, romantic and/or emotnal attractn to members of the same and/or other genrs, cludg lbian, gay, bisexual and straight orientatns. As GLAAD not, "Transgenr people may be straight, lbian, gay, bisexual or queer. A person who transns om female to male and is attracted solely to men would typilly intify as a gay man.

It is unclear as to whether Pl is gay or bisexual. Early was wildly handsome, gay, wh soulful brown ey and a head full of loose, unly curls.

CALL ME BY MY PRONOUNS: WHY GAY MEN CALL EACH OTHER "GIRL"

Once, the middle of wter Washgton Square Park, I watched him unbutton his at and drape across the shoulrs of a dnk who had jt lled him a homophobic slur.

I was an ex-Christian and newly out lbian fleeg the vlent homophobia of the late 1990s Jamai, still wearg the fury of beg attacked by a dozen boys and sexually asslted Kgston.

Except he wasn’t gay, or a poet. We often lled each other to remisce about Peter, to reunt the sorcery of him, to bask the shared memory of his, when I beme antic wh the sire to start a fay — chasg gay men at hoe parti, beggg sperm om strangers on plan — I broke down and wept for what felt like the too-early ath of my hband.

THE FEMALE SPOE: A PROCS OF SEPARATN WHEN A HBAND ' OUT' AS GAY

I wanted to be the badass lbian wrer, wh the flamboyant gay hband, raisg four children a ramblg old hoe that ed to be a church, two blocks om the beach Far one nversatn wh CJ, he terpted to ask if there was a way he uld stand for Peter, by givg me his sperm. His brothers, their wiv, Peter’s grandmother, his father, me, my non-monogamo partner and a betiful hort of ordary folks, misfs, artists, preachers, wrers, activists, gay, straight, nonbary. Sexual orientatns clu but are not limed to heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual.

The e of she/her pronouns by cisgenr gay men, along wh words such as "girl" or "honey, " is a long-standg and creasgly visible practice. For many gay men, g the words wh their iends is a way of embracg femy and showg vulnerabily or affectn to others who share their inti.

Creatg a shared culture — cludg language — around femy n be a way of reclaimg the bas for opprsn many gay men have experienced, as well as disptg the harmful genr few if any lguistic practic are all one thg, all the time. It may be time to reevaluate cis gay men’s e of words like "she" and "girl" to make sure they align wh ongog efforts to rpect nonbary genr inti, and avoid makg assumptns about people’s pronouns. Lguists, social scientists, and crics have observed and studied cis gay men’s e of “she, ” and their asssments pot to the multiple and often nflictg dimensns of the practice.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* HIM AND HER GAY

The female spoe: A procs of separatn when a hband ' out' as gay - PMC.

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