What If You Only Thought You Were Gay? | GQ

Contents:

• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
• I’M NOT GAY, BUT MY BOYIEND SURE IS
• AM I GAY?
• HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)
• 17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
• I'M NOT GAY. I'M JT JEALO.
• HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU'RE QUEER AF, BUT YOUR RELATNSHIP LOOKS "STRAIGHT""I TOLD MY PARENTS, 'I'M DATG A WOMAN RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M NOT GAY.'" {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY KRISTA MASICFEBARY 13, 2017/8:00 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}KISSBY KRISTA MASICFEBARY 13, 2017 / 8:00 AM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU'RE QUEER AF, BUT YOUR RELATNSHIP LOOKS \"STRAIGHT\"","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-02-13T13:00:04.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-02-13T13:00:04.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"KRISTA MASIC","KEYWORDS":"OPN","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LIKE MANY BISEXUALS, MY G OUT WAS WAS DRAWN OUT AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE FIRST QUEER PERSON I EVER DATED WAS A TRANSGENR MAN. WHEN WE GOT TOGETHER, HE WAS NEARG THE END OF A SPENT INTIFYG AS A BUTCH LBIAN. HE HAD JT BEGUN TO REALIZE HE MIGHT BE TRANS, BUT HADN’T YET TAKEN ANY OUTWARD STEPS TOWARD {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I WAS 22 AND HAD JT MOVED TO SAN FRANCIS. UNTIL THEN, I HAD ONLY EVER DATED STRAIGHT, CISGENR GUYS—SOMETHG MY NEW PARTNER ACTUALLY LIKED ABOUT ME. IT MA HIM FEEL LIKE I WAS MORE ATTRACTED TO THE THE MAN HE ASPIRED TO BE THAN THE LBIAN HE STILL INTIFIED AS, BUT SPECTED HE MIGHT ONE DAY LEAVE BEHD.COUPLE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I LIKED THAT DYNAMIC: HIS MASCULY WAS GENTLE, ANDROGYNO, AND SUBVERSIVE, AND THAT'S WHAT DREW ME TO HIM. IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME BRAND OF MASCULY I'D ALWAYS BEEN ATTRACTED TO CISGENR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN I FALLY TOLD MY PARENTS ABOUT OUR RELATNSHIP, I SAID, "I'M DATG A WOMAN RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M NOT GAY."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I DIDN'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO FE MYSELF. I WASN'T YET READY TO EXPLA MY PARTNER'S -FLUX GENR INTY. (AT THE TIME, HE WAS STILL G HIS BIRTH NAME AND FEMALE PRONOUNS). I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE A LBIAN, AND I FELY DIDN'T WANT E THE WORD "BISEXUAL." I HELD EVERY NCEIVABLE NEGATIVE NNOTATN TO THAT WORD: BISEXUALS WERE FAKERS AND ATTENTN-SEEKERS, PUNCHL OM BAD '90S MOVI. THEY WERE CISIVE AT BT, AND GREEDY AT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I ALSO BELIEVED THAT THE “BI” “BISEXUAL” RELIED ON THE THEORY OF A GENR BARY I WAS RAPIDLY LOSG FAH . (IN TTH, "BI" IMPLI ATTRACTN TO MEMBERS OF BOTH ONE’S OWN AND OTHER GENRS). ULTIMATELY, FELT EASIER TO FE MY SEXUALY TERMS OF WHAT WASN'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT THE LONG NIGHTS I SPENT TELLG MY PARTNER ABOUT ALL THE "GAY MOMENTS" MY CHILDHOOD THAT SUDNLY MA A WHOLE LOT MORE SENSE—ALWAYS VOLUNTEERG TO PLAY THE GROOM PLAYGROUND “WEDDGS,” ASKG OTHER GIRLS AT A SLUMBER PARTY TO “PRACTICE” MAKG OUT, ROMANTIC IENDSHIPS WH A LONG LE OF TEENAGE BFFS— BEME CREASGLY APPARENT THAT I REALLY WASN'T STRAIGHT, EHER. I WAS AS ATTRACTED TO THE LGERG FEME ASPECTS OF MY PARTNER AS I WAS TO THE MASCULE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LUCKILY, I FOUND A LABEL JT FLEXIBLE ENOUGH TO F ME LIKE A SEND SK: "QUEER." AND AS I EXPLORED MY NEW HOME SAN FRANCIS I MA DOZENS OF NEW IENDS WHO ALSO ALL SEEMED TO BE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}EVENTUALLY, THOUGH, MY FIRST QUEER LOVE AND I BROKE UP—THOUGH WE LEFT ON GOOD TERMS. (HE LATER WROTE A LOVELY MEMOIR ABOUT HIS TRANSN AND OUR RELATNSHIP GOT A CHAPTER, FTGLY TLED "THE QUEER BIRDS AND THE BE."){BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SOON AFTER WE PARTED WAYS, I BEGAN DATG ANOTHER TRANS GUY WHO WAS PRETTY UNIVERSALLY PERCEIVED AS A CISGENR DU. IN THOSE EARLY YEARS OF FUMBLG THROUGH MY NEWFOUND QUEERNS, I WAS DIRE NEED OF ACCEPTANCE AND SUPPORT OM THE LGBT MUNY. BUT BEE OF HOW I LOOKED (MORE STRAIGHT THAN FEMME) AND WHO I WAS DATG (TRANS MEN), I FELT TRATED OVER BEG RENRED VISIBLE QUEER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}PEOPLE GAY BARS WOULD REFER TO ME AND MY BOYIEND AS A STRAIGHT UPLE, OR TO ME AS A STRAIGHT WOMAN, WHICH MA ME FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIR WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY OWN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN CASTRO BARS, OLR GAY MEN WKGLY UTNED ME THAT MY BOYIEND, WHO THEY PERCEIVED AS CISGENR, "MIGHT BE A LTLE B ON THE GAY SI." I BETTER BE "REFUL,” THEY'D TEASE, OR ONE OF THEM JT MIGHT SNATCH HIM {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DURG PRI, A DNK WOMAN ONCE TOLD ME SHE LOVED SEEG STRAIGHT PEOPLE LIKE OUT SOLIDARY. SHE ADD THAT MY BOYIEND WAS REALLY CUTE, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY BEE SHE WAS "SUPER GAY.” AT THE TIME, I WAS CKED OUT RABOW GEAR OM HEAD TO TOE AND MY BOYIEND WAS WEARG A T-SHIRT THAT SAID "NOBODY KNOWS I'M TRANSGENR."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I NEVER OUTED MY TRANS BOYIEND (THOUGH HE OCSNALLY OUTED HIMSELF THE SCENARS), BUT I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE THE LANGUAGE I NEED TO OUT MYSELF, EHER. INSTEAD, I GENERALLY HANDLED THE TRATNS BY SILENTLY FEELG SORRY FOR MYSELF. OR IF I'D HAD A FEW DRKS, SHOUTG THGS LIKE, "YOU HAVE NO IA HOW GAY HE IS—HE'S GAY FOR ME!" BEFORE STORMG OUT OF THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS STRANGE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ON THE OTHER HAND, I WAS ALSO WELL AWARE THAT MY ABILY TO PASS AS STRAIGHT—BOTH ON MY OWN AND THE NTEXT OF MY RELATNSHIP—EARNED ME A CERTA AMOUNT OF PRIVILEGE, PECIALLY THE WORLD BEYOND SAN FRANCIS. AND EVERY TIME I WATCHED MY PARTNER PEEK TO A SKETCHY MEN’S ROOM TO MAKE SURE WAS EMPTY BEFORE DARG TO GO , I WAS AWARE OF HOW BEG CISGENR GAVE ME PRIVILEGE, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT MA ME FEEL LIKE I SHOULDN’T PLA, LIKE I SHOULD BE NTENT TO SWEEP THE PLEXI OF MY OWN INTY UNR THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOW, A AND MANY RELATNSHIPS ACROSS THE GENR SPECTM LATER, I’M BETTER EQUIPPED TO HANDLE THE SUATNS. IN PART, THAT’S BEE I HAVE A MORE EFFECTIVE VOBULARY TO DO SO: I AM PROUDLY, UNAPOLOGETILLY BISEXUAL. AND STILL QUEER AF, EVEN WHEN DATG A STRAIGHT CISGENR MAN, LIKE I AM {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT’S ALSO THANKS TO MY EXPOSURE TO THE ADVOCY WORK OF ANIZATNS LIKE HRC AND BINETUSA, THE CREASED VISIBILY OF BISEXUAL CELEBRI LIKE ANNA PAQU, ALAN CUMMG, AND EVAN RACHEL WOOD, AND EVEN BISEXUAL YOUTUBE STARS WHO HELPED ME BUNK THE MYTHS I’D TERNALIZED ABOUT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MAKG A FEW OUT AND PROUD BISEXUAL IENDS DIDN’T HURT, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOW, IF SOMEONE AT A GAY BAR ASSUM I’M STRAIGHT—BEE OF WHAT I LOOK LIKE OR WHAT MY RELATNSHIP LOOKS LIKE—I TAKE AS AN OPPORTUNY TO OUT MYSELF (UALLY POLELY, AND WHOUT AS MUCH DNK YELLG). I PROUDLY REP THE B {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN REALY, A LOT OF BISEXUAL WOMEN ARE RELATNSHIPS THAT LOOK "STRAIGHT": MORE THAN 80% OF THEM MTED RELATNSHIPS REPORT HAVG A PARTNER OF THE OPPOSE SEX. (WHICH, AS A REMR, DON'T MAKE THEM ANY LS BI.) AND A LOT OF TRANS PEOPLE ARE QUEER RELATNSHIPS THAT MAY APPEAR HETERONORMATIVE OM THE OUTSI, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO, THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE WHAT APPEARS TO BE A STRAIGHT UPLE AT THE GAY BAR, KEEP MD THAT QUEER UPL E ALL DIFFERENT BATNS. AND THEY SERVE TO FEEL SAFE AND WELE LGBT SPAC, NO MATTER WHAT THEIR LOVE LOOKS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS
• WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.

I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them. I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man.

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg. Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY

You don’t need to be certa you are gay before talkg to someone or attendg an LGBTQ+ meetg. It is very homogeneo/ hetero-normative and beg a tholic stutn is not the easit environment for queer stunts.

If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your boyiend that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men. Keep readg for a thorough list of potential signs that your boyiend might be gay.

I’M NOT GAY, BUT MY BOYIEND SURE IS

There are many reasons why someone might act this way, so this by self is not a surefire sign that he’s gay. If you believe your boyiend lov and r for you but he "seems to be gay, " keep md that he uld be bisexual, pansexual, or terted men.

There are several inti which someone n be terted more than one genr, so don't thk he's "jt gay". If you stumble upon evince of gay porn on his puter or phone, though, that may be a ltle different.

AM I GAY?

If he’s gay, he might thrive on other men’s attentn, equently touch or hug them, or exchange flirty ments wh them (pecially about their physil appearance). Notice if he equently hangs out wh his gay iends, or jos them on nights out at LGBTQ+ bars and clubs.

” Notice if he acts unfortable around gay men, regularly mak homophobic ments or jok, or liberately never talks about anythg remotely gay. If his relativ are highly anti-gay, he may not feel safe or wele to e out to them.

HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)

He might also be wrtlg wh ternalized homophobia or self-loathg bee of the nflict between his inty and his upbrgg.

17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)

An enunter his teen or llege years is more likely to mean he’s gay or queer than an experience later life, which uld have more plex explanatns. Don’t rely on gay stereotyp like an effemate voice or walk, flashy or tight clothg, his TV and mic preferenc, or beg a neat eak to terme your boyiend’s sexualy.

I'M NOT GAY. I'M JT JEALO.

There are many gay men that exhib none of the tras, as well as many straight men that do. Not beg gay myself, I jt n’t unrstand why the gays have to be so over the top. I try to appreciate his “-your-face gay pri, ” but ’s not my face he should worry about.

HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU'RE QUEER AF, BUT YOUR RELATNSHIP LOOKS "STRAIGHT""I TOLD MY PARENTS, 'I'M DATG A WOMAN RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M NOT GAY.'" {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY KRISTA MASICFEBARY 13, 2017/8:00 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}KISSBY KRISTA MASICFEBARY 13, 2017 / 8:00 AM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU'RE QUEER AF, BUT YOUR RELATNSHIP LOOKS \"STRAIGHT\"","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-02-13T13:00:04.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-02-13T13:00:04.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"KRISTA MASIC","KEYWORDS":"OPN","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LIKE MANY BISEXUALS, MY G OUT WAS WAS DRAWN OUT AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE FIRST QUEER PERSON I EVER DATED WAS A TRANSGENR MAN. WHEN WE GOT TOGETHER, HE WAS NEARG THE END OF A SPENT INTIFYG AS A BUTCH LBIAN. HE HAD JT BEGUN TO REALIZE HE MIGHT BE TRANS, BUT HADN’T YET TAKEN ANY OUTWARD STEPS TOWARD {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I WAS 22 AND HAD JT MOVED TO SAN FRANCIS. UNTIL THEN, I HAD ONLY EVER DATED STRAIGHT, CISGENR GUYS—SOMETHG MY NEW PARTNER ACTUALLY LIKED ABOUT ME. IT MA HIM FEEL LIKE I WAS MORE ATTRACTED TO THE THE MAN HE ASPIRED TO BE THAN THE LBIAN HE STILL INTIFIED AS, BUT SPECTED HE MIGHT ONE DAY LEAVE BEHD.COUPLE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I LIKED THAT DYNAMIC: HIS MASCULY WAS GENTLE, ANDROGYNO, AND SUBVERSIVE, AND THAT'S WHAT DREW ME TO HIM. IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME BRAND OF MASCULY I'D ALWAYS BEEN ATTRACTED TO CISGENR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN I FALLY TOLD MY PARENTS ABOUT OUR RELATNSHIP, I SAID, "I'M DATG A WOMAN RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M NOT GAY."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I DIDN'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO FE MYSELF. I WASN'T YET READY TO EXPLA MY PARTNER'S -FLUX GENR INTY. (AT THE TIME, HE WAS STILL G HIS BIRTH NAME AND FEMALE PRONOUNS). I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE A LBIAN, AND I FELY DIDN'T WANT E THE WORD "BISEXUAL." I HELD EVERY NCEIVABLE NEGATIVE NNOTATN TO THAT WORD: BISEXUALS WERE FAKERS AND ATTENTN-SEEKERS, PUNCHL OM BAD '90S MOVI. THEY WERE CISIVE AT BT, AND GREEDY AT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I ALSO BELIEVED THAT THE “BI” “BISEXUAL” RELIED ON THE THEORY OF A GENR BARY I WAS RAPIDLY LOSG FAH . (IN TTH, "BI" IMPLI ATTRACTN TO MEMBERS OF BOTH ONE’S OWN AND OTHER GENRS). ULTIMATELY, FELT EASIER TO FE MY SEXUALY TERMS OF WHAT WASN'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT THE LONG NIGHTS I SPENT TELLG MY PARTNER ABOUT ALL THE "GAY MOMENTS" MY CHILDHOOD THAT SUDNLY MA A WHOLE LOT MORE SENSE—ALWAYS VOLUNTEERG TO PLAY THE GROOM PLAYGROUND “WEDDGS,” ASKG OTHER GIRLS AT A SLUMBER PARTY TO “PRACTICE” MAKG OUT, ROMANTIC IENDSHIPS WH A LONG LE OF TEENAGE BFFS— BEME CREASGLY APPARENT THAT I REALLY WASN'T STRAIGHT, EHER. I WAS AS ATTRACTED TO THE LGERG FEME ASPECTS OF MY PARTNER AS I WAS TO THE MASCULE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LUCKILY, I FOUND A LABEL JT FLEXIBLE ENOUGH TO F ME LIKE A SEND SK: "QUEER." AND AS I EXPLORED MY NEW HOME SAN FRANCIS I MA DOZENS OF NEW IENDS WHO ALSO ALL SEEMED TO BE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}EVENTUALLY, THOUGH, MY FIRST QUEER LOVE AND I BROKE UP—THOUGH WE LEFT ON GOOD TERMS. (HE LATER WROTE A LOVELY MEMOIR ABOUT HIS TRANSN AND OUR RELATNSHIP GOT A CHAPTER, FTGLY TLED "THE QUEER BIRDS AND THE BE."){BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SOON AFTER WE PARTED WAYS, I BEGAN DATG ANOTHER TRANS GUY WHO WAS PRETTY UNIVERSALLY PERCEIVED AS A CISGENR DU. IN THOSE EARLY YEARS OF FUMBLG THROUGH MY NEWFOUND QUEERNS, I WAS DIRE NEED OF ACCEPTANCE AND SUPPORT OM THE LGBT MUNY. BUT BEE OF HOW I LOOKED (MORE STRAIGHT THAN FEMME) AND WHO I WAS DATG (TRANS MEN), I FELT TRATED OVER BEG RENRED VISIBLE QUEER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}PEOPLE GAY BARS WOULD REFER TO ME AND MY BOYIEND AS A STRAIGHT UPLE, OR TO ME AS A STRAIGHT WOMAN, WHICH MA ME FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIR WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY OWN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN CASTRO BARS, OLR GAY MEN WKGLY UTNED ME THAT MY BOYIEND, WHO THEY PERCEIVED AS CISGENR, "MIGHT BE A LTLE B ON THE GAY SI." I BETTER BE "REFUL,” THEY'D TEASE, OR ONE OF THEM JT MIGHT SNATCH HIM {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DURG PRI, A DNK WOMAN ONCE TOLD ME SHE LOVED SEEG STRAIGHT PEOPLE LIKE OUT SOLIDARY. SHE ADD THAT MY BOYIEND WAS REALLY CUTE, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY BEE SHE WAS "SUPER GAY.” AT THE TIME, I WAS CKED OUT RABOW GEAR OM HEAD TO TOE AND MY BOYIEND WAS WEARG A T-SHIRT THAT SAID "NOBODY KNOWS I'M TRANSGENR."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I NEVER OUTED MY TRANS BOYIEND (THOUGH HE OCSNALLY OUTED HIMSELF THE SCENARS), BUT I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE THE LANGUAGE I NEED TO OUT MYSELF, EHER. INSTEAD, I GENERALLY HANDLED THE TRATNS BY SILENTLY FEELG SORRY FOR MYSELF. OR IF I'D HAD A FEW DRKS, SHOUTG THGS LIKE, "YOU HAVE NO IA HOW GAY HE IS—HE'S GAY FOR ME!" BEFORE STORMG OUT OF THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS STRANGE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ON THE OTHER HAND, I WAS ALSO WELL AWARE THAT MY ABILY TO PASS AS STRAIGHT—BOTH ON MY OWN AND THE NTEXT OF MY RELATNSHIP—EARNED ME A CERTA AMOUNT OF PRIVILEGE, PECIALLY THE WORLD BEYOND SAN FRANCIS. AND EVERY TIME I WATCHED MY PARTNER PEEK TO A SKETCHY MEN’S ROOM TO MAKE SURE WAS EMPTY BEFORE DARG TO GO , I WAS AWARE OF HOW BEG CISGENR GAVE ME PRIVILEGE, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT MA ME FEEL LIKE I SHOULDN’T PLA, LIKE I SHOULD BE NTENT TO SWEEP THE PLEXI OF MY OWN INTY UNR THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOW, A AND MANY RELATNSHIPS ACROSS THE GENR SPECTM LATER, I’M BETTER EQUIPPED TO HANDLE THE SUATNS. IN PART, THAT’S BEE I HAVE A MORE EFFECTIVE VOBULARY TO DO SO: I AM PROUDLY, UNAPOLOGETILLY BISEXUAL. AND STILL QUEER AF, EVEN WHEN DATG A STRAIGHT CISGENR MAN, LIKE I AM {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT’S ALSO THANKS TO MY EXPOSURE TO THE ADVOCY WORK OF ANIZATNS LIKE HRC AND BINETUSA, THE CREASED VISIBILY OF BISEXUAL CELEBRI LIKE ANNA PAQU, ALAN CUMMG, AND EVAN RACHEL WOOD, AND EVEN BISEXUAL YOUTUBE STARS WHO HELPED ME BUNK THE MYTHS I’D TERNALIZED ABOUT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MAKG A FEW OUT AND PROUD BISEXUAL IENDS DIDN’T HURT, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOW, IF SOMEONE AT A GAY BAR ASSUM I’M STRAIGHT—BEE OF WHAT I LOOK LIKE OR WHAT MY RELATNSHIP LOOKS LIKE—I TAKE AS AN OPPORTUNY TO OUT MYSELF (UALLY POLELY, AND WHOUT AS MUCH DNK YELLG). I PROUDLY REP THE B {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN REALY, A LOT OF BISEXUAL WOMEN ARE RELATNSHIPS THAT LOOK "STRAIGHT": MORE THAN 80% OF THEM MTED RELATNSHIPS REPORT HAVG A PARTNER OF THE OPPOSE SEX. (WHICH, AS A REMR, DON'T MAKE THEM ANY LS BI.) AND A LOT OF TRANS PEOPLE ARE QUEER RELATNSHIPS THAT MAY APPEAR HETERONORMATIVE OM THE OUTSI, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO, THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE WHAT APPEARS TO BE A STRAIGHT UPLE AT THE GAY BAR, KEEP MD THAT QUEER UPL E ALL DIFFERENT BATNS. AND THEY SERVE TO FEEL SAFE AND WELE LGBT SPAC, NO MATTER WHAT THEIR LOVE LOOKS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

I hate to thk of my boyiend, who is a lovg and passnate man, gog to hell jt bee he is gay, but that’s what’s gog to happen if he don’t straighten up, and quick. “Are you now, or have you ever been…wow, you’re right, this Poliziano is lic…gay?

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

The last thg I want is Brett beg wh someone else, sce that would mean another heterosexual man had been hoodwked by the Gay Agenda.

Men Love Wh Gay Men has given me an outlet for all my ncerns, ee of any judgment. Sce ’s obv to me now that homosexualy is not a s, but a disease, I have to be more unrstandg of the nvoluted logic that mt go on the equally nvoluted gay md.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

To help me adjt, Brett has agreed to teach me to regnize gays everyday life.

I go to the meetgs, and he shops, pranc, or whatever gay men do when they’re alone. I want to know what driv Brett and, by extensn, what motivat all gay men to be as they are. If I n spot the stttg abomatns wh even 90 percent accuracy, I will be better prepared for Brett’s wacky behavr (and ls likely to fall for another gay man the future).

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

I don’t mean to imply anythg polilly rrect like gays should know their place or queers should stay out of the paths of cent people, but they absolutely should. But as I get better at spottg gay men, I feel like Brett’s not as good at as he led me to believe (hardly the first time he’s fooled me, haha).