Can I Marry a Woman as a Gay Man? - SeekersGuidance

Contents:

• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• GAY MAN REVEALS WHY HE LOV BEG MARRIED TO A WOMAN
• CAN I MARRY A WOMAN AS A GAY MAN?
• HERE’S WHAT LIFE IS LIKE WHEN YOU’RE GAY BUT MARRY HETERO
• "WE DO HAVE A VERY GOOD SEX LIFE": GAY MEN WH STRAIGHT WIV ARE G OUT -- AS HAPPILY MARRIED

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

I recently spoke wh Bonnie Kaye, thor of Straight Wiv, Shattered Liv: Stori of Women wh Gay Hbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wiv Talk Show on BlogTalkRad. Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first livg wh and attemptg to love a gay hband and then helpg other women the same mis-marriage suatn. Bee I know untls gay men who were once married to straight women, wh varyg gre of short and longer-term happs and misery, I wanted to discs this topic, and I wanted to do so om the straight wiv’ perspective.

Our discsn was wi-rangg, begng wh her own marriage to a gay man and progrsg to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually beg a rock for other women siar suatns. So if somebody told me they’d tried somethg but they didn’t like , there would be no reason for me to thk that the person was gay. But I certaly didn’t want to marry a gay man.

He was a karate teacher, martial arts, a strong guy, looked like Sylvter Stallone, and gay was not one of the issu I thought about wh him. There were issu wh him om the start, but nothg to make me thk that he might be gay. Then somebody who was part of my social work rmed me, a uple of weeks before we were supposed to get married, that he had spicns that Robert was gay.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

I thought, “How uld he be gay? Gay men have gaydar.

The bottom le is, he was actively gay.

Beg gay back then was really hard.

GAY MAN REVEALS WHY HE LOV BEG MARRIED TO A WOMAN

I had a lot of gay iends California. On the east ast where we were, beg gay was still really hidn. There were a lot of obstacl to beg gay.

Then, wh the AIDS epimic, a lot of men who were gay felt as if they uld be straight, was a good time to be straight. So even though Robert lied to me about beg gay, I did unrstand why he did .

CAN I MARRY A WOMAN AS A GAY MAN?

And at the end of the day, wasn’t the fact that he was gay that was so vastatg to me, was the way that he treated me. That’s how is for gay men straight marriag.

HERE’S WHAT LIFE IS LIKE WHEN YOU’RE GAY BUT MARRY HETERO

He was also very homophobic, makg fun of effemate men. Over the years, I’ve found that a lot of gay men do that. It’s an ternalized homophobia that I see a lot, even among gay men who are out and open.

And if you’re not gay, why do you re about ? Do you fd that a lot of gay men straight marriag engage blamg and gaslightg as part of the act? I saw one of your blog posts you e the term “gaylightg” to scribe this form of gaslightg.

I fd tertg that a lot of men this suatn ratnalize their behavr, sayg ’s not cheatg and don’t mean they’re gay. I really thought that people n choose to be straight or gay.

"WE DO HAVE A VERY GOOD SEX LIFE": GAY MEN WH STRAIGHT WIV ARE G OUT -- AS HAPPILY MARRIED

I did, even then, thk that many gay people are who they are and that’s all there is to . He had also been tellg me thgs like, “If you ever tell anybody the silly stori about me beg gay, then that’s , we’re done.

Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay? " Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men. If a hband is gay, n vastate not only the relatnship but the straight wife as well.