Why Are All The Good Guys Always Taken, Gay, Dead, Or Available?

Jacksonville Jaguars ach Kev Maxen has e out as gay, makg him the first out male ach a pro men's league. NBC Sports' Corey Robson explas why this is a big step for football. * the onion gay man *

But lately, I’ve been havg a real problem wh the homosexuals. He didn’t seem the least b gay. Did I look gay to him?

I don’t rell the phrase, “Suck my ck” enterg the nversatn, and I don’t have a sign around my neck that reads, “Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock. ” I’ve got nothg agast homosexuals. Let them be ee to do their gay thg peace, I say.

What is wh the homos? Aren’t there enough gay cks out there for them to suck on whout them havg to target normal people like me? Or any of the untls other homos who’ve e on to me recently.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

Inially, there were accatns that Ziegler, as a gay Democrat, was biased toward Bin, but now some Republins say his inty shows he's fair and reliable sayg the IRS was hampered the vtigatn. * the onion gay man *

I tell you, when a homosexual is suckg your ck, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen?

Where did this fairy ever get the ia that I was gay? I don’t know what mak the homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his ck sucked, and, ankly, I don’t want to know.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ACH OUT AS GAY

General Says 'Gays Too Prec To Risk In Combat': The Onn (VIDEO) * the onion gay man *

I swear, if the homosexuals don’t take a ht and qu suckg my ck all the time, I’m gog to have to rort to drastic measur–like maybe png them down to the cement floor of the loadg dock wh my powerful forearms and workg my ck all the way up their butt so they unrstand loud and clear jt how much I disapprove of their unwele advanc. FALMOUTH, MA—Near-tragedy turned to joy Monday, as area rints Phillip and Karen Widman and their two children were saved om their burng hoe on Loct Street by Kev Lassally, a homosexual man.

Lassally, returng home after visg wh other homosexuals, smelled smoke and saw flam through the Widmans' livg room wdow. "I heard children cryg, and knew I had to do somethg, " the 34-year-old, gay puter programmer told reporters. " After the bld, homosexual Lassally eased Meghan, 3, and Joshua, 18 months, out the wdow and leapt to the ground, protectg the children by absorbg the impact on his own back, he realized the children's parents had yet to be rcued.

" The fearls and gay hero once aga climbed onto the roof of the hoe and entered the send-floor wdow, only to disver after mut of gropg that the master bedroom was nowhere on the upstairs floor. By now a blackened, sooty, homosexual figure, Lassally set the Widmans down a safe distance om the hoe, jt as firefighters were arrivg, and llapsed on the lawn, exhsted and gay. Doctors scribe his ndn as stable but homosexual.

WHO IS JOSEPH ZIEGLER, THE GAY IRS WHISTLEBLOWER HUNTER BIN PROBE?

* the onion gay man *

As donatns and toys e pourg to the fay, which lost most of s posssns, ngratulatory rds and telegrams are beg sent to Falmouth's new favore gay cizen. "This brave, homosexual man has spired all, " Falmouth mayor Matthew Colella said. "The lol hospal has announced plans to rename s burn ward "The Kev Lassally Gay Burn Ward.

GENERAL SAYS 'GAYS TOO PREC TO RISK IN COMBAT': THE ONN (VIDEO)

LOUISVILLE, KY—At first glance, high school senr Lus Faber, 18, seems like any ordary gay teen. He’s a member of his school’s swg choir, enjoys shoppg at the mall, and has sex wh other mal his age. But lately, a growg worry has begun to plague this young gay man. A gnawg feelg that, ep down, he… * the onion gay man *

Then out of nowhere a totally selfls gay person who turns your whole view around. " Lassally is most the face of so many tribut: "I've always believed that one [homosexual] really n make a difference.

And here’s the thg: When you fally do e across one of the good guys out there, why do always turn out that he’s eher taken, gay, ad, or available?

Why do you always fall for the married, gay, sgle, straight, alive, ad, bisexual, imagary, atose, extant, or extra-dimensnal guys?! The last ne kd, charismatic guys whom I’ve been terted have been, orr, gay, married, 10 months old, created 1968 by Hanna-Barbera Productns and voiced by Daws Butler, still livg wh his mother, sgle and open to datg, a wtern lowland gorilla, gay aga, and a marble bt of Juli about tratg!

'GAYS TOO PREC TO RISK COMBAT' SAYS GENERAL

New Anti-Smokg Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay to Smoke': Directed by Lang Fisher." data-id="ma * the onion gay man *

"'98 Homosexual-Recment Drive Nearg Goal" (July 29, 1998)The Onn is famo for trickg a certa percentage of gullible rears to thkg s stori are real. ) One early and noteworthy example: The Wtboro Baptist Church's Fred Phelps, who angrily blogged about this blatantly satiril "homosexual recment drive" as if were real. Spokpersons for the Natnal Gay & Lbian Recment Task Force announced Monday that more than 288, 000 straights have been nverted to homosexualy sce Jan.

"Clearly, the activist homosexual lobby is wng. "Emmonds creded much of the recg succs to the gay lobby's filtratn of Ameri's public schools, where programs promotg the homosexual liftyle are regularly prented to children as young as the rt of the story.

GAY TEEN WORRIED HE MIGHT BE CHRISTIAN

NORWOOD, NC—Law enforcement officials vtigated a disturbance Sunday afternoon followg reports of a screamg gay man beg dragged across a lake behd a boat. “We received multiple acunts of two male spects forcefully pullg a young gay man behd their motorboat at high speeds,” said Sgt. Michael Bosch of… * the onion gay man *

He’s Barbie’s gay bt iend. The film won’t say , but a post-creds punchle about Ken’s handwrg, plete wh hearts and stars surroundg his name, tells what we need to heavily implied nature of Ken’s gayns Toy Story 3 harkens back to Hollywood’s tradnal gay bt iend-type characters.

In the Hays Co era, explic referenc to homosexualy weren’t allowed, so characters like Van Buren (Frankl Pangborn) 1937’s Easy Livg, Kip (David Wayne) 1949’s Adam’s Rib, or Addison (Gee Sanrs) 1950’s All About Eve stead were imbued wh effemate characteristics, offerg a glimpse outsi of heteronormativy whout explicly beg of the characters were the same—some were tty, others sweet. But each of the gay bt iends was trsilly fed by their relatnships wh their straight iends.

NEW ANTI-SMOKG ADS WARN TEENS 'IT'S GAY TO SMOKE'

Des later, 2010, the gay bt iend was all the rage; Teen Vogue even went so far as to proclaim the GBF as the summer’s mt-have accsory. But unlike the first half of the 20th century, today’s cema, the GBF is allowed to be openly gay.

In movi like Mean Girls (2004), The Devil Wears Prada (2006), Easy A (2010), No Strgs Attached (2011), and Isn’t It Romantic (2019), gay iends exist entirely the orb of their female iends. ” But Barbie do, and for Ken, that’s are plenty of reasons why the film wouldn’t outrightly state that Ken is homosexual. ), and of urse, and earrg the “gay ear”.

) Earrg Magic Ken turned Barbie’s boyiend to an out-and-proud homosexual raver. Mattel, of urse, vehemently nied any claims that Ken was gay, let alone that he had somethg as prepostero as a ck rg around his neck. As a rult, gay men bought the doll drov, and spe Mattel ultimately rellg the doll and wipg away any trace of Earrg Magic Ken, was near-impossible to see Ken as anythg but the glor homosexual he was born to be om then on.

POLICE INVTIGATE REPORTS OF LOL GAY MAN BEG DRAGGED BEHD BOAT

Though Mattel don’t seem to be willg to say Ken is actually gay, the Ken dolls of recent years seem to really lean to Ken’s queerns. While there is no way to “drs gay, ” there are several dolls that seem to suggt otherwise, such as:Fashnista Ken #193, who looks very exced to tell you about his new obssn, Troye Sivan;Travel Ken Doll, who has a satchel perfect for bathho and a purple overnight bag that lerally proclaims he’s “extra;”Ken Looks Doll, servg “I’m gonna give you a makeover”-type realns while sportg black pleather pants;This Ken, who wears the least heterosexual double nim I have a feelg the new Barbie movie will put the work to nvce that Ken is a hetero du who lov nothg life more than Barbie herself, the wrg’s already on the wall: Ken is, and always will be, Barbie’s gay bt obssg! It was recently nfirmed that Craig’s character is gay, and speakg to The Sunday Tim, he said: “It’s normal.

Rather than slottg people neatly to box, I’d love if we all felt a b eer; ls nstraed by rigid tegori of “gay” and “straight”. And ’s still radil, and so important, bee the world isn’t there yet terms of LGBT+ rights, somethg that we have been remd of durg the World Cup Qatar – a untry where homosexualy is is one of 70 natns around the world that legislate agast the LGBT+ muny – 11 of them threaten the ath penalty.

It’s not difficult to draw a parallel between how gay people were treated the 1980s and 90s and how the trans muny are targeted today. And that [gay] relatnship reflects my life. If Craig meant himself, then I’m lighted for him – and if he was speakg more generally, then that’s posive, serv praise for bluntly normalisg the cisn to make his Kniv Out character gay.

GAY MAN, UNATTRACTIVE WOMAN FORM TIGHT BOND

Some Republins once said Joseph Ziegler, the Internal Revenue Service agent who ttified before Congrs Wednday about possible terference the vtigatn of Hunter Bin, was biased Bin’s favor bee he’s a gay man and a Democrat. “People have said, bee I’m gay and that I am workg as the se agent on this vtigatn, that I mt be a far-left liberal, perfectly placed to f some agenda.

Who Is Joseph Ziegler, the Gay IRS Whistleblower Hunter Bin Probe?

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