Gay Conversn Therapists Claim Most Patients Fully Straight By The Time They Comm Suici

the onion gay article

SAN FRANCISCO—Spokpersons for the Natnal Gay & Lbian Recment Task Force announced Monday that more than 288,000 straights have been nverted to homosexualy sce Jan. 1, 1998, puttg the group well on pace to reach s goal of 350,000 nversns by the end of the year.

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GAY-PRI PARA SETS MASTREAM ACCEPTANCE OF GAYS BACK 50 YEARS

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA–The mastream acceptance of gays and lbians, a hard-won civil-rights victory gaed through s of stggle agast prejudice and discrimatn, was set back at least 50 years Saturday the wake of the annual Los Angel Gay Pri Para. * the onion gay article *

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA–The mastream acceptance of gays and lbians, a hard-won civil-rights victory gaed through s of stggle agast prejudice and discrimatn, was set back at least 50 years Saturday the wake of the annual Los Angel Gay Pri Para.

Participants Saturday's Los Angel Gay Pri Para, which helped change straight people's tolerant attus toward Week's Most Viral News: July 28, 2023OffEnglish"I'd always thought gays were regular people, jt like you and me, and that the stereotype of homosexuals as hedonistic, sex-crazed viants was jt a stctive myth, " said mother of four Hannah Jarrett, 41, mortified at the sight of 17 tanned and oiled boys vortg jock straps to a throbbg techno beat on a float shaped like an enormo phall. " The para, anized by the Los Angel Gay And Lbian And Bisexual And Transvte And Transgenr Alliance (LAGALABATATA), was tend to "promote acceptance, tolerance, and equaly for the cy's gay muny.

" Jt the oppose, however, was acplished, as the event nfirmed the worst fears of thoands of non-gay spectators, cementg their mds a bched and distorted image of gay life straight out of the most vilent right-wg hate lerature. Among the para sights and sounds that did timable harm to the gay-rights e: a group of obe women leather biker outfs passg out cloris-shaped lollipops to horrified onlookers; a man ary uniform leadg a submissive masochist, clad diapers and a baby bon, around on a dog leash; several Hispanic dancers rabow wigs and miskirts performg "humpg" motns on a mannequ drsed as the Pope; and a dozen gyratg drag queens see-through drs holdg penis-shaped beer bottl that appeared to spurt ejaculatn-like foam when shaken and poured onto passersby.

HELL NOW A THRIVG EPICENTER OF GAY CULTURE

THE MALEBOLGE, NETHER REGIONS OF DARKNESS—Notg the credible rate at which the muny has grown, sourc nfirmed Thursday that Hell, the Endls Kgdom of Misery, is now a boomg haven of gay culture. * the onion gay article *

Timothy Oros, 51, a lol Walgreens manager whose store is on the para route, changed his attu toward gays as a rult of the event. ' and 'Hey, hey, we're gay, we're not gog to go away! Allison Weber, 43, an El Segundo marketg nsultant, also had her perceptns and assumptns about gays challenged by the para.

DANIEL CRAIG SAYS HIS 'GLASS ONN' CHARACTER BEG GAY 'JT FEELS RIGHT': 'IT'S NORMAL'

'You are supposed to reflect life. And that [gay] relatnship reflects people my life,' Daniel Craig said of his character Glass Onn: A Kniv Out Mystery" emprop="scriptn * the onion gay article *

"My unrstandg was that gay people are jt like everybody else–cent, hard-workg people who re about their muni and have lovg, mted relatnships, " Weber said. Footage of the event was featured on telests of The 700 Club as "proof of the s-steeped world of homosexualy.

" A photo spread Monday's USA Today chronicled many of the event's vulgar displays–unrstood by gays to be tongue--cheek "high mp"–which horrified prevly tolerant people om ast to ast. Henry Thorne, a New York Universy history profsor who has wrten several books about the gay-rights movement, explaed the misunrstandg.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

After beg acquired earlier this month via tra, the Oklahoma Cy Thunr has waived Rudy Gay. * the onion gay article *

"After centuri of opprsn as an 'visible' segment of society, gays, embolned by the 1969 Stonewall uprisg, took to the streets the early '70s wh an '-your-face' attu.

Conontg the worst prejudic of a world that didn't accept them, they fought back agast the prejudic wh exaggeratn and parody, reclaimg their enemi' worst stereotyp about them and turng them to symbols of gay pri, " Thorne said.

"Thirty years later, gays have won far greater acceptance the world at large, but they keep dog this stuff anyway. The Los Angel Gay Pri Para, Thorne noted, is part of a s-old gay-rights tradn.

THUNR ROSTER CNCH: VETERAN FORWARD RUDY GAY WAIVED

MINFORD, OH—Boastg that they have cured hundreds of teens and young adults over the years, gay nversn therapists om the Reemg Path Treatment Center told reporters Thursday that most of their patients are pletely straight by the time they m suici. “We’ve found that a batn of group… * the onion gay article *

"I have a who's a gay, and he seemed like a cent enough guy to me, " said Iowa Cy, IA, rint Rs Lr, Los Angel for a weekend sal semar. Gays are all sick, immoral perverts.

THE MALEBOLGE, NETHER REGIONS OF DARKNESS—Notg the credible rate at which the muny has grown, sourc nfirmed Thursday that Hell, the Endls Kgdom of Misery, is now a boomg haven of gay Week's Most Viral News: July 28, 2023OffEnglishThe Great Abyss, home of the damned, is reportedly habed by some 600 ln nmned homosexual or transgenr souls, a large proportn of s total populatn, and has by many acunts blossomed to an oasis of gay activism and muny events.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT STRENGTH ACH KEV MAXEN OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY

“I’ve only been here for a few months, but I’ve already fallen love wh , ” said 49-year-old Daniel Elson, addg that he has already beiend hundreds of fellow gay men and women the accursed unrworld, all of whom have weled him wh open arms. “The streets of fire and brimstone are full of so many great fés, rtrants, bakeri, pennt bookstor, and of urse plenty of gay bars and clubs. ”Acrdg to sourc, the ept bowels of Hell have over the past several lennia veloped a thrivg gay muny that is said to rival the lik of the New York Cy neighborhood of Chelsea, San Francis’s Castro District, Soho London, and the Boystown sectn of wh s wi variety of gay-iendly bs, the Unrworld is also home to The 666, a sprawlg, five-story gay nightclub that is reportedly the largt such tablishment ever built.

“It’s jt nice to fally live a place where I don’t feel like an outst or an outsir, ” said Vansa Aldridge, 38, strsg that she has faced absolutely no discrimatn sce she, like all homosexuals and gay sympathizers, was sentenced to an eterny Lucifer’s Den immediately upon her ath. “And all of the other eternally damned homosexuals down here feel the same.

”Hell has been wily celebrated by gay rights lears for s far-reachg acceptance of alternative liftyl, and rints told reporters is credibly mon to see a rabow flag hangg over var shop awngs, r wdows, or atop thron of blood-soaked bon and rottg flh. Addnally, the Inferno’s Gay Pri Para, held every July the Send Circle, is noted for s extravagance and high attendance rate. Reports nfirmed that, wh thoands more homosexual souls floodg the Gat of Hell every day, the Chasm of Wickedns and S has tly bee a sanctuary for gays and lbians alike, a feelg proudly shared by a majory of heterosexual lols.

GAY CONVERSN THERAPISTS CLAIM MOST PATIENTS FULLY STRAIGHT BY THE TIME THEY COMM SUICI

“The gay muny has really flourished here, and I have to say, they’ve been great for the place, ” said Nephirem the Malevolent, a 10, 000-year-old, 70-foot-tall motr who has rid hell sce risg om the ash of a smokels flame. Everyone lov a got a letter for the Department of Gay Affairs, jt like everybody everyone out as stunngly as you.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* THE ONION GAY ARTICLE

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