So, How Gay Is ‘Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore,’ Exactly?

Contents:

• THE FIRST GAY PUB I DARED SET FOOT NOW HAS A RABOW PLAQUE. HERE’S WHY THAT MATTERS
• KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY
• JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ACH OUT AS GAY
• SO, HOW GAY IS ‘FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE,’ EXACTLY?
• 'PASSAG' DIRECTOR NOUNC 'DANGERO' NC-17 RATG ON A FILM PICTG A GAY LOVE STORY
• NFL ACH BE FIRST MALE ACH MAJOR U.S. MEN’S PRO SPORTS TO E OUT AS GAY
• GAY FURRY HACKERS ARE TARGETG US STAT FOR PASSG ANTI-TRANS LEGISLATN
• JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT COACH KEV MAXEN MAK HISTORY AFTER COMG OUT AS GAY
• SO, HOW GAY IS THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, REALLY?NATALIE PORTMAN CLAIMED THAT THE ANCHISE’S LATT STALLMENT IS “SO GAY”—BUT IS SHE RIGHT?BY CHRIS MURPHYJULY 8, 2022BY JAS BOLAND/MARVEL STUDS.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWHEN NATALIE PORTMAN SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS “SO GAY,” I WANT TO BELIEVE HER. AFTER ALL, SHE’S A QUEER IN BY VIRTUE OF STARRG PABLO LARRAíN’S JACKIE, MANY MISS DR MERCIALS, AND, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WNG THE OSR FOR THE BLACK SWAN, A PSYCHOSEXUAL PAS UX BETWEEN TWO WARRG BALLERAS. SO WHEN PORTMAN SWORE DURG A Q&A AT THE LONDON PREMIERE OF HER LATT FILM, THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, THAT MARVEL’S NEWT OFFERG IS “SO GAY,” MY TERT WAS IMMEDIATELY PIQUED—AND WHILE I HADN’T SEEN A MARVEL FILM SCE 2018’S BLACK PANTHER, I HAD TO KNOW WHETHER THOR 4 WOULD BE AN ENTRY TO THE QUEER CEMATIC NON à LA MOONLIGHT, CAROL, AND THE NILE KIDMAN AMC AD.SO OFF TO THE CEPLEX I WENT, TSTG NATALIE PORTMAN SPE MORS THAT THOR: LOVE AND THUNR MIGHT NOT BE AS GAY AS SHE CLAIMED. BUT STILL, I HAD FAH. THOR: LOVE AND THUNR WAS DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAI, WHOSE QUEER, PIRATE HBO MAX SHOW, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, CERTALY CROSS THE THRHOLD OF “SO GAY.” BISEXUAL ACTOR TSA THOMPSON WENT ON RERD AT SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON SAYG THAT SHE WANTED TO FD HER CHARACTER VALKYRIE, THE FEMALE KG OF ASGARDS, A QUEEN THE NEXT FILM. PL, THERE WAS GOG TO BE A RA ORA MEO. ALL POSIVE SIGNS!WHAT I FOUND…WELL I’M STILL TRYG TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND. BELOW IS A LIST OF THE GAY MOMENTS, SUBTEXT, AND ENERGY THAT I ULD FD THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, RANKED BY THEIR LEVEL OF GAYNS. BE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND.NOT GAY (AND SORT OF RUDE)CHRIS PRATT’S STAR-LORD IS PRETTY HEAVILY FEATURED THE FIRST 15 MUT OF THE FILM. THERE’S A FIGHT SCENE WHERE THOR FENDS OFF TWO MONSTERS WHILE A RSIAN SPL, AND STAR-LORD DRAMATILLY ROLLS HIS EY (WHICH GOT A BIG LGH OM THE DIENCE, BY THE WAY). SHAMG ANOTHER MAN FOR BEG SUPER FLEXIBLE AND A “B MUCH”? SORRY; THAT’S ANTI-QUEER BEHAVR, I’M AAID.CHRISTIAN BALE’S PERFORMANCE AS GORR THE GOD BUTCHER WAS GIVG VOLMORT VIB, WHICH MA ME THK OF HARRY POTTER, WHICH MA ME THK OF J.K. ROWLG—WHO IS ACTUALLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND TO MY PSYCHE. ALSO, FOR THE ENTIRE FILM I THOUGHT HE WAS PL BETTANY.THERE’S A B WHERE HEIMDALL’S SON, AXL (KIERON L. DYER), RENAM HIMSELF, AND THOR SISTS THAT AXL E HIS PREV NAME, ASTRID. EVENTUALLY, THOR ACQUIC AND LLS AXL BY HIS CHOSEN NAME…BUT ’S LEFT A WEIRD TASTE SOME LGBTQ+ FANS’ MOUTHS.SIMPLY NOT GAYTHERE’S A SHORT MONTAGE OF THOR, PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH, AND HIS MANY LOVERS…ALL OF WHOM ARE WOMEN. TECHNILLY, HE KISS A “WOLF WOMAN” WHILE RIDG “A WOMAN WOLF,” BUT THE ENERGY OF ALL IS OVERWHELMGLY STRAIGHT LOTHAR.THE MONTAGE THAT PICTS NATALIE PORTMAN’S DR. JANE FOSTER AND THOR’S RELATNSHIP IS BASILLY JT A 10-MUTE VERSN OF THE BREAKUP (2006) STARRG JENNIFER ANISTON AND VCE VGHN, PL A MAGIC HAMMER. DECIDLY NOT GAY.MATT DAMON AND MELISSA MCCARTHY BOTH APPEAR A PERFORMG TROUPE ASGARD, ACTG OUT THE LEGEND OF THOR. LATER ON, DAMON APPEARS AGA AND ASKS VALKYRIE IF HE SHOULD WRE A PLAY TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN, WHICH HAS BEEN RAVAGED BY VOLGORR THE GOD BUTCHER. WHILE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SURPRISE CELEBRY REVEALS THE FILM IS SOMEWHAT GAY (WHO DON’T LOVE A RUVEAL!), THE MOCKERY OF STAGE ACTG IS NOT GAY AT ALL.SLIGHTLY GAYTHE FILM OPENS WH A PREFACE THAT FEATUR THE GOD DNYS (SIMON RSELL BEALE)—SHIRTLS A FIELD OF GIGGLG FLOWERS AND WEARG A SPARKLY GOLN CROWN AND STATEMENT NECKLACE, BRAGGG ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS HE HAS. FLOWERS, STATEMENT NECKLAC, AND BEG OBSSED WH FOLLOWERS? DEFELY A B GAY!K MISTAKENLY LLS JANE FOSTER “JANE FONDA.” THE VOTN OF MISS FONDA, ’80S AEROBICS AND 9 TO 5 QUEEN, IS FELY SLIGHTLY GAY!THE FIRST NEEDLE DROP OF THE FILM IS, QUE RANDOMLY, ENYA’S “ONLY TIME.” THIS FEELS WEIRDLY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE RECENT RURGENCE OF WCHY FORMER POP STARS WHO NOW LIVE STL PLETELY OFF THE GRID. AGA, NOT EXPLICLY GAY ANY WAY, BUT I FELY UGHT QUEER VIB.THOR’S CLOTH ACCINTALLY GET STRIPPED OM HIM, LEAVG HIM STANDG A ROOM FULL OF GODS THE NU. WHILE NOTHG SALAC IS SEEN (THE MOVIE IS ONLY PG-13, AFTER ALL), I BELIEVE THAT IMAGG CHRIS HEMSWORTH NAKED WILL RULT A QUEER AWAKENG FOR SOME OF THE YOUTH (AND, LET’S FACE , THE ADULTS) THE DIENCE. BON POTS: K SAID, “IT LOOKED LIKE A LTLE URGETTE,” I.E. A ZUCCHI—WHICH IS A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY OM THE EGGPLANT EMOJI.GAYTHOR, JANE, AND VALKYRIE MORE OR LS EXCLIVELY TRAVEL BY RIDG SCREAMG YAKS WHO N ON A SUPERCHARGED RABOW. WHILE RABOWS ARE NONILLY GAY (SEE: THE PRI FLAG, “SOMEWHERE OVER THE”), THIS IS SORT OF THE LOWT POSSIBLE BAR YOU ULD PASS FOR HAVG QUEER NTENT. BUT, I GUS UNTS.THE SHEER NUMBER OF FIERCE PANTSUS VALKYRIE WEARS AS KG OF ASGARD. SERVG LEWKS IS GAY!VALKYRIE BRGS A PORTABLE SPEAKER WH HER ON THE RABOW GOAT SHIP AND PLAYS A SNIPPET OF “FAY AFFAIR” BY MARY J. BLIGE. THAT’S A BOP, AND GAYS LOVE BOPS!MOST POPULARSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSH2023 FALL PREVIEW: 46 FILMS TO WATCH OUT FORBY REBEC FORDHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONRSELL CROWE GIV THE WORST VOL PERFORMANCE OF HIS REER SCE L MISéRABL (2012). HIS BLOWHARD ZS SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST DRAFT OF AN ITALIAN ACCENT, BUT ZS IS FAMOLY GREEK. IT WAS NFG AND NFOUNDG AND REMD ME OF HIS JAVERT, AND THERE’S SOMETHG HERENTLY QUEER ABOUT THAT.GAY??THE SO-LLED GAYNS OF VALKYRIE IS (TENTNALLY) NFG. AT ONE POT SHE TELLS DR. JANE FOSTER—WH WHOM SHE CLEARLY HAS NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY—THAT SHE MISS HER “SISTERS.” DO SHE MEAN SISTERS LIKE RELATIV, SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (PLATONIC), OR SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (ROMANTIC)? WE NEVER FD OUT. VALKYRIE IS THE GAYT PART OF THE FILM FOR SURE, BUT DO NOTHG EXPLICLY QUEER EXCEPT MAYBE…WHEN SHE’S PG THE KGDOM OF THE GODS. VALKYRIE BRIEFLY STOPS TO MAKE BEDROOM EY AT ONE OF ZS’S FEMALE NCUB, WHO I AM PRETTY SURE IS PLAYED BY RA ORA. THIS HAPPENS SO FAST (AND IS FILMED SUCH A WAY THAT I’M PRETTY SURE ULD GET CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE IF NEEDS TO BE LS LGBTQ+-IENDLY TERRORI) THAT I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF ’S RA ORA OR NOT. BUT DO HAPPEN, AND IS A MOMENT—THE ONLY MOMENT—OF GIRL-ON-GIRL “ACTN” THE FILM, IF YOU N LL THAT.AT ONE POT, THOR IS VOLVED A LTLE B OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN JANE FOSTER AND HIS AX, STORMBREAKER. MANY LGHS ARE (ATTEMPTED) TO BE WNG OUT OF STORMBREAKER’S SEEMG JEALOY OF JANE. IT WAS NFG TO ME, A MARVEL-NEOPHYTE, AS I ASSUMED THAT THOR’S AX WAS A GENRLS OBJECT—AND NOT TO GATEKEEP THE WORD GAY, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A MAGIL AX DON’T QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” BUT I’M HAPPY TO KEEP AN OPEN MD ON THE MATTER.THE MOST EXPLIC “GAY” MOMENT: VALKYRIE AND K HAVE A (VERY BRIEF) HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT ROMANCE WHILE THOR AND JANE FULL ON MAKE OUT. IN THE SCENE, K EXPLICLY SAYS THAT HE HAS TWO DADS, AND THAT HIS SPECI ARE NCEIVED WHEN TWO KRONAN MEN HOLD HANDS OVER A LAVA P. IT’S A SWEET MOMENT, BUT THE SCENE IS PLACED SUCH A WAY THAT, AGA, FEELS LIKE ULD BE ENTIRELY REMOVED OTHER MARKETS. DURG THE NVERSATN, K ALSO MENTNS VALKYRIE’S AD GIRLIEND AND HOW SHE’S CLOSED HERSELF OFF OM LOVE. AGA, FELY REGNN THAT LGBTQ+ PEOPLE EXIST—BUT ’S THE FIRST AND LAST TIME WE HEAR ANY MENTN OF VALKYRIE’S LOVE LIFE OR TERT WOMEN.AT THE END OF THE FILM, THERE’S ALSO THE BRIEFT OF SHOTS OF K HOLDG HANDS WH ANOTHER ROCK KRONAN (PRUMABLY A MAN) OVER A LAVA P, AN ATTEMPT TO MAYBE MAKE A BABY. DID MARVEL JT SHOW OUR FIRST SCENE OF GAY KRONAN SEX? IT’S HARD TO KNOW.SO GAYNATALIE PORTMAN G THIS FILM AS A SHOWSE AND THEN HAVG HER CHARACTER DIE, HOPEFULLY RELEASG HER OM THE MCU AND ALLOWG HER TO GET BACK TO PROJECTS LIKE CLOSER.MOST POPULARSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSH2023 FALL PREVIEW: 46 FILMS TO WATCH OUT FORBY REBEC FORDHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONVALKYRIE SUALLY WEARG A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SWEATSHIRT WHILE KICKG SOME SPIR MONSTER ASS.HONORABLE GAY MENTIONKAT DENNGS ALSO APPEARS AS A LLEAGUE OF DR. JANE FOSTER ONE (1) SCENE, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OM AGA. SHE’S BEEN A GUT JUDGE ON DRAG RACE AND HAS A OL VIBE, SO SHE GETS AN HONORABLE MENTN HERE.SO, LOOKS LIKE THOR WILL NOT BE WNG ANY GLAAD AWARDS. BY MY SCIENTIFIC LCULATNS, THERE WERE FAR MORE NOT GAY MOMENTS THAN GAY MOMENTS, AND ONLY TWO THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” IN EVERY WAY, THE FILM WAS LS GAY THAN DUNE, WHICH FEATURED TIMOTHéE CHALAMET POUTG, BUTTHOLE-SHAPED WORMS, AND STEPHEN MCKLEY HENRSON HOLDG A LTLE PARASOL JT SO.BUT WHAT WERE WE TO EXPECT? A MOVIE PRODUCED BY MARVEL WHICH IS OWNED BY DISNEY—WHICH HAS E UNR A B OF FIRE FOR S HANDLG OF GAY NTENT AND S FANCIAL SUPPORT OF ANTI-LGBTQ+ POLICIANS—WAS MAYBE NEVER BOUND TO BE “SO GAY” AFTER ALL. SO THE NEXT TIME THE FORMER UNRSTUDY FOR LRA BELL BUNDY RUTHLS THE MIL OFF BROADWAY SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS SO GAY, DON’T NECSARILY TAKE HER WORD FOR .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE REALYEXCLIVE NEW DETAILS ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE’S WEDDG DRSA BIRD’S-EYE VIEW OF EVERYTHG HAPPENG AT THIS FALL’S FILM FTIVALS—WHOUT THE STARSA SER SETBACK FOR TMP’S PLAN TO GET REELECTED AND PARDON HIMSELFMEET KYLE DCHANEL, THE PRETEND PLAYBOY WHO SEEMS TO HAVE FOOLED HALF OF MANHATTANTHE ULTIMATE GUI TO FALL MOVIFROM THE ARCHIVE: A FATHER’S ACUNT OF THE TRIAL OF HIS DGHTER’S KILLEREND-OF-SUMMER SALE! TAKE 25% OFF AT THE VF SHOPCHRIS MURPHY

THE FIRST GAY PUB I DARED SET FOOT NOW HAS A RABOW PLAQUE. HERE’S WHY THAT MATTERS

Frankly, I’d have served a prison jt for him to hold my hand, like he did his off-whe Vxhall Nova on the drive there, breakg only to change, he took me for strawberry cir the Gloucter, a pub at the park’s edge, takg my tremblg hand his and reassurg me: “It’s actually a gay bar. Gay pubs are far more than bars; they’re refug.

On Sunday, the first a new seri of rabow plaqu will be stalled at the Gloucter – now the Greenwich Tavern – cementg s place gay home the workg-class Medway area of Kent, where we met when he sold me a phone cred rd at the lol petrol statn, “queers” like were wily perceived as predatory, perverted, spic or simply scum. ”After the strawberry cir, served by a man a tight whe vt – the only other gay man I’d seen real life – the squiggly summer sunlight ma a strobe effect through the park’s tre.

The first time I saw wh him, when I was 18, I realised he had echoed the love story of the two protagonists, who also had their first kiss the twilight of Greenwich Park’s tre, and their first experience of a gay pub at the Gloucter.

KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

The explanatn for his obssn is now clear: there was such a pcy of same-sex love stori that this was the first time many young people had seen a same-sex kiss, or peeked si an actual gay bar after dark.

The project remds people “that we have always been here, good tim and bad, ” David Robson of the London LGBT+ Foms’ Network said when the plaqu were film and my own story were workg-class gay love: not dandyish and sheltered by the polse of privilege, but the btal realy of beg perceived a non-mascule boy.

It was a powerful and rarely told tersectn – and one that, even more rarely, ends rather happily, wh a betiful scene of fiance and acceptance played to a Mama Cass waltz on the sk I disvered that I wasn’t the only wi-eyed baby gay my boyiend had been chasg through those ancient chtnuts that summer. For me, the plaque honours that private moment as well as the shared history of the LGBTQ+ ’s the msage I’d impart to anyone who thks such symbols are meangls, as the unique social history of the UK’s gay bars is endangered by gentrifitn, hook-up apps, the st of livg crisis and even assiatn. Like many workg-class, closeted gay boys, I’d hi unr the glovebox of my boyiend’s Nova when we drove back om the park, lt anyone saw.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ACH OUT AS GAY

It whispered to ckney-accented gay boys like me: there are others like you.

SO, HOW GAY IS ‘FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE,’ EXACTLY?

Or what about “Grievg Man, ” the inic Avengers: Endgame’s character who offhandly mentned gog on gay date Marvel’s big “exclively gay moment”? Kev Maxen has bee the first male ach a US men’s profsnal sports league to e out as gay. Per Outsports, as of September 2022, there have only ever been 16 players NFL history to publicly e out as gay or bisexual.

'PASSAG' DIRECTOR NOUNC 'DANGERO' NC-17 RATG ON A FILM PICTG A GAY LOVE STORY

Carl Nassib beme the first active NFL player league history to announce that he is gay 2021. Per Outsports, Maxen is the “first publicly out male ach a major Amerin men’s pro sports league, ” wh WNBA ach Curt Miller, who publicly me out to the media as gay 2015, also a publicly out male ach an Amerin profsnal sports league. This is the perfect opportuny for a gay metaphor, but of urse they didn't go that path.

NFL ACH BE FIRST MALE ACH MAJOR U.S. MEN’S PRO SPORTS TO E OUT AS GAY

In Hchck’s Strangers on a Tra (1951), Bno Antony (Robert Walker)'s stume, mannerisms, and dialogue create a character exposn which he is clearly homosexual. However, there are homosexual unrton prent beyond the outright d msag of his limp wrists, sashayg walk, and flower-patterned tie. The film close up shots, slow motn filmg, and variant sequenc juxtaposed through edg to create a more general homo-erotic tone through imagery and symbolism.

This is the se even though there is no outright pictn of homosexualy the film, nor is there any one pot at which I would say Guy (Farley Granger) and Bno nsummate a sexual relatnship any way.

GAY FURRY HACKERS ARE TARGETG US STAT FOR PASSG ANTI-TRANS LEGISLATN

One blatant stance of homo-erotic imagery therefore occurs when Guy to Bno's hoe at night, ostensibly to kill Bno's father. The homosexual tone created by the techniqu adds a eper dimensn to Bno and Guy’s relatnship, reprentg sir and subtexts neher exprsed words nor nsummated.

And nsirg the tle of the film — which refers to some hidn mysteri the past of Hogwarts headmaster and future Harry Potter mentor Alb Dumbledore (Ju Law) — there might be one qutn loomg over this latt “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Fd Them” film: jt how gay is ?

Followg the publitn of the fal “Harry Potter” novel, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, ” 2007, Rowlg revealed that Dumbledore was gay and that his prr relatnship wh famed evil wizard Grlwald (now played by Mads Mikkelsen), was ed romantic. But now, two movi and wh a much more sympathetic Grlwald, they fally n properly explore Dumbledore’s romantic entanglement wh a very mad rultg film is perhaps gayer than you were expectg, but not nearly as gay as should be.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT COACH KEV MAXEN MAK HISTORY AFTER COMG OUT AS GAY

) And that’s about as emotnally naked (and gay) as the movie are a uple more passg referenc to their relatnship sprkled throughout the very long film. Howard and Harold, the adoptive parents of Cly, who is the bt iend of the ma character Lln Loud, are not only the first married gay uple a Nickeloon show but also make signifint wav reprentatn by simply beg stellar characters.

While there have been several headways to more diverse LGBTQ+ reprentatn, gay and bisexual men are still unrreprented, pecially all-ag media. Benson (Coy Stewart) is one of the show's lead characters and is revealed to be gay early on after he rpectfully turns down Kipo (Karen Fuhara), who has a csh on him.

SO, HOW GAY IS THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, REALLY?NATALIE PORTMAN CLAIMED THAT THE ANCHISE’S LATT STALLMENT IS “SO GAY”—BUT IS SHE RIGHT?BY CHRIS MURPHYJULY 8, 2022BY JAS BOLAND/MARVEL STUDS.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWHEN NATALIE PORTMAN SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS “SO GAY,” I WANT TO BELIEVE HER. AFTER ALL, SHE’S A QUEER IN BY VIRTUE OF STARRG PABLO LARRAíN’S JACKIE, MANY MISS DR MERCIALS, AND, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WNG THE OSR FOR THE BLACK SWAN, A PSYCHOSEXUAL PAS UX BETWEEN TWO WARRG BALLERAS. SO WHEN PORTMAN SWORE DURG A Q&A AT THE LONDON PREMIERE OF HER LATT FILM, THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, THAT MARVEL’S NEWT OFFERG IS “SO GAY,” MY TERT WAS IMMEDIATELY PIQUED—AND WHILE I HADN’T SEEN A MARVEL FILM SCE 2018’S BLACK PANTHER, I HAD TO KNOW WHETHER THOR 4 WOULD BE AN ENTRY TO THE QUEER CEMATIC NON à LA MOONLIGHT, CAROL, AND THE NILE KIDMAN AMC AD.SO OFF TO THE CEPLEX I WENT, TSTG NATALIE PORTMAN SPE MORS THAT THOR: LOVE AND THUNR MIGHT NOT BE AS GAY AS SHE CLAIMED. BUT STILL, I HAD FAH. THOR: LOVE AND THUNR WAS DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAI, WHOSE QUEER, PIRATE HBO MAX SHOW, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, CERTALY CROSS THE THRHOLD OF “SO GAY.” BISEXUAL ACTOR TSA THOMPSON WENT ON RERD AT SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON SAYG THAT SHE WANTED TO FD HER CHARACTER VALKYRIE, THE FEMALE KG OF ASGARDS, A QUEEN THE NEXT FILM. PL, THERE WAS GOG TO BE A RA ORA MEO. ALL POSIVE SIGNS!WHAT I FOUND…WELL I’M STILL TRYG TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND. BELOW IS A LIST OF THE GAY MOMENTS, SUBTEXT, AND ENERGY THAT I ULD FD THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, RANKED BY THEIR LEVEL OF GAYNS. BE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND.NOT GAY (AND SORT OF RUDE)CHRIS PRATT’S STAR-LORD IS PRETTY HEAVILY FEATURED THE FIRST 15 MUT OF THE FILM. THERE’S A FIGHT SCENE WHERE THOR FENDS OFF TWO MONSTERS WHILE A RSIAN SPL, AND STAR-LORD DRAMATILLY ROLLS HIS EY (WHICH GOT A BIG LGH OM THE DIENCE, BY THE WAY). SHAMG ANOTHER MAN FOR BEG SUPER FLEXIBLE AND A “B MUCH”? SORRY; THAT’S ANTI-QUEER BEHAVR, I’M AAID.CHRISTIAN BALE’S PERFORMANCE AS GORR THE GOD BUTCHER WAS GIVG VOLMORT VIB, WHICH MA ME THK OF HARRY POTTER, WHICH MA ME THK OF J.K. ROWLG—WHO IS ACTUALLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND TO MY PSYCHE. ALSO, FOR THE ENTIRE FILM I THOUGHT HE WAS PL BETTANY.THERE’S A B WHERE HEIMDALL’S SON, AXL (KIERON L. DYER), RENAM HIMSELF, AND THOR SISTS THAT AXL E HIS PREV NAME, ASTRID. EVENTUALLY, THOR ACQUIC AND LLS AXL BY HIS CHOSEN NAME…BUT ’S LEFT A WEIRD TASTE SOME LGBTQ+ FANS’ MOUTHS.SIMPLY NOT GAYTHERE’S A SHORT MONTAGE OF THOR, PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH, AND HIS MANY LOVERS…ALL OF WHOM ARE WOMEN. TECHNILLY, HE KISS A “WOLF WOMAN” WHILE RIDG “A WOMAN WOLF,” BUT THE ENERGY OF ALL IS OVERWHELMGLY STRAIGHT LOTHAR.THE MONTAGE THAT PICTS NATALIE PORTMAN’S DR. JANE FOSTER AND THOR’S RELATNSHIP IS BASILLY JT A 10-MUTE VERSN OF THE BREAKUP (2006) STARRG JENNIFER ANISTON AND VCE VGHN, PL A MAGIC HAMMER. DECIDLY NOT GAY.MATT DAMON AND MELISSA MCCARTHY BOTH APPEAR A PERFORMG TROUPE ASGARD, ACTG OUT THE LEGEND OF THOR. LATER ON, DAMON APPEARS AGA AND ASKS VALKYRIE IF HE SHOULD WRE A PLAY TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN, WHICH HAS BEEN RAVAGED BY VOLGORR THE GOD BUTCHER. WHILE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SURPRISE CELEBRY REVEALS THE FILM IS SOMEWHAT GAY (WHO DON’T LOVE A RUVEAL!), THE MOCKERY OF STAGE ACTG IS NOT GAY AT ALL.SLIGHTLY GAYTHE FILM OPENS WH A PREFACE THAT FEATUR THE GOD DNYS (SIMON RSELL BEALE)—SHIRTLS A FIELD OF GIGGLG FLOWERS AND WEARG A SPARKLY GOLN CROWN AND STATEMENT NECKLACE, BRAGGG ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS HE HAS. FLOWERS, STATEMENT NECKLAC, AND BEG OBSSED WH FOLLOWERS? DEFELY A B GAY!K MISTAKENLY LLS JANE FOSTER “JANE FONDA.” THE VOTN OF MISS FONDA, ’80S AEROBICS AND 9 TO 5 QUEEN, IS FELY SLIGHTLY GAY!THE FIRST NEEDLE DROP OF THE FILM IS, QUE RANDOMLY, ENYA’S “ONLY TIME.” THIS FEELS WEIRDLY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE RECENT RURGENCE OF WCHY FORMER POP STARS WHO NOW LIVE STL PLETELY OFF THE GRID. AGA, NOT EXPLICLY GAY ANY WAY, BUT I FELY UGHT QUEER VIB.THOR’S CLOTH ACCINTALLY GET STRIPPED OM HIM, LEAVG HIM STANDG A ROOM FULL OF GODS THE NU. WHILE NOTHG SALAC IS SEEN (THE MOVIE IS ONLY PG-13, AFTER ALL), I BELIEVE THAT IMAGG CHRIS HEMSWORTH NAKED WILL RULT A QUEER AWAKENG FOR SOME OF THE YOUTH (AND, LET’S FACE , THE ADULTS) THE DIENCE. BON POTS: K SAID, “IT LOOKED LIKE A LTLE URGETTE,” I.E. A ZUCCHI—WHICH IS A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY OM THE EGGPLANT EMOJI.GAYTHOR, JANE, AND VALKYRIE MORE OR LS EXCLIVELY TRAVEL BY RIDG SCREAMG YAKS WHO N ON A SUPERCHARGED RABOW. WHILE RABOWS ARE NONILLY GAY (SEE: THE PRI FLAG, “SOMEWHERE OVER THE”), THIS IS SORT OF THE LOWT POSSIBLE BAR YOU ULD PASS FOR HAVG QUEER NTENT. BUT, I GUS UNTS.THE SHEER NUMBER OF FIERCE PANTSUS VALKYRIE WEARS AS KG OF ASGARD. SERVG LEWKS IS GAY!VALKYRIE BRGS A PORTABLE SPEAKER WH HER ON THE RABOW GOAT SHIP AND PLAYS A SNIPPET OF “FAY AFFAIR” BY MARY J. BLIGE. THAT’S A BOP, AND GAYS LOVE BOPS!MOST POPULARSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSH2023 FALL PREVIEW: 46 FILMS TO WATCH OUT FORBY REBEC FORDHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONRSELL CROWE GIV THE WORST VOL PERFORMANCE OF HIS REER SCE L MISéRABL (2012). HIS BLOWHARD ZS SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST DRAFT OF AN ITALIAN ACCENT, BUT ZS IS FAMOLY GREEK. IT WAS NFG AND NFOUNDG AND REMD ME OF HIS JAVERT, AND THERE’S SOMETHG HERENTLY QUEER ABOUT THAT.GAY??THE SO-LLED GAYNS OF VALKYRIE IS (TENTNALLY) NFG. AT ONE POT SHE TELLS DR. JANE FOSTER—WH WHOM SHE CLEARLY HAS NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY—THAT SHE MISS HER “SISTERS.” DO SHE MEAN SISTERS LIKE RELATIV, SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (PLATONIC), OR SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (ROMANTIC)? WE NEVER FD OUT. VALKYRIE IS THE GAYT PART OF THE FILM FOR SURE, BUT DO NOTHG EXPLICLY QUEER EXCEPT MAYBE…WHEN SHE’S PG THE KGDOM OF THE GODS. VALKYRIE BRIEFLY STOPS TO MAKE BEDROOM EY AT ONE OF ZS’S FEMALE NCUB, WHO I AM PRETTY SURE IS PLAYED BY RA ORA. THIS HAPPENS SO FAST (AND IS FILMED SUCH A WAY THAT I’M PRETTY SURE ULD GET CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE IF NEEDS TO BE LS LGBTQ+-IENDLY TERRORI) THAT I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF ’S RA ORA OR NOT. BUT DO HAPPEN, AND IS A MOMENT—THE ONLY MOMENT—OF GIRL-ON-GIRL “ACTN” THE FILM, IF YOU N LL THAT.AT ONE POT, THOR IS VOLVED A LTLE B OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN JANE FOSTER AND HIS AX, STORMBREAKER. MANY LGHS ARE (ATTEMPTED) TO BE WNG OUT OF STORMBREAKER’S SEEMG JEALOY OF JANE. IT WAS NFG TO ME, A MARVEL-NEOPHYTE, AS I ASSUMED THAT THOR’S AX WAS A GENRLS OBJECT—AND NOT TO GATEKEEP THE WORD GAY, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A MAGIL AX DON’T QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” BUT I’M HAPPY TO KEEP AN OPEN MD ON THE MATTER.THE MOST EXPLIC “GAY” MOMENT: VALKYRIE AND K HAVE A (VERY BRIEF) HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT ROMANCE WHILE THOR AND JANE FULL ON MAKE OUT. IN THE SCENE, K EXPLICLY SAYS THAT HE HAS TWO DADS, AND THAT HIS SPECI ARE NCEIVED WHEN TWO KRONAN MEN HOLD HANDS OVER A LAVA P. IT’S A SWEET MOMENT, BUT THE SCENE IS PLACED SUCH A WAY THAT, AGA, FEELS LIKE ULD BE ENTIRELY REMOVED OTHER MARKETS. DURG THE NVERSATN, K ALSO MENTNS VALKYRIE’S AD GIRLIEND AND HOW SHE’S CLOSED HERSELF OFF OM LOVE. AGA, FELY REGNN THAT LGBTQ+ PEOPLE EXIST—BUT ’S THE FIRST AND LAST TIME WE HEAR ANY MENTN OF VALKYRIE’S LOVE LIFE OR TERT WOMEN.AT THE END OF THE FILM, THERE’S ALSO THE BRIEFT OF SHOTS OF K HOLDG HANDS WH ANOTHER ROCK KRONAN (PRUMABLY A MAN) OVER A LAVA P, AN ATTEMPT TO MAYBE MAKE A BABY. DID MARVEL JT SHOW OUR FIRST SCENE OF GAY KRONAN SEX? IT’S HARD TO KNOW.SO GAYNATALIE PORTMAN G THIS FILM AS A SHOWSE AND THEN HAVG HER CHARACTER DIE, HOPEFULLY RELEASG HER OM THE MCU AND ALLOWG HER TO GET BACK TO PROJECTS LIKE CLOSER.MOST POPULARSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSH2023 FALL PREVIEW: 46 FILMS TO WATCH OUT FORBY REBEC FORDHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONVALKYRIE SUALLY WEARG A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SWEATSHIRT WHILE KICKG SOME SPIR MONSTER ASS.HONORABLE GAY MENTIONKAT DENNGS ALSO APPEARS AS A LLEAGUE OF DR. JANE FOSTER ONE (1) SCENE, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OM AGA. SHE’S BEEN A GUT JUDGE ON DRAG RACE AND HAS A OL VIBE, SO SHE GETS AN HONORABLE MENTN HERE.SO, LOOKS LIKE THOR WILL NOT BE WNG ANY GLAAD AWARDS. BY MY SCIENTIFIC LCULATNS, THERE WERE FAR MORE NOT GAY MOMENTS THAN GAY MOMENTS, AND ONLY TWO THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” IN EVERY WAY, THE FILM WAS LS GAY THAN DUNE, WHICH FEATURED TIMOTHéE CHALAMET POUTG, BUTTHOLE-SHAPED WORMS, AND STEPHEN MCKLEY HENRSON HOLDG A LTLE PARASOL JT SO.BUT WHAT WERE WE TO EXPECT? A MOVIE PRODUCED BY MARVEL WHICH IS OWNED BY DISNEY—WHICH HAS E UNR A B OF FIRE FOR S HANDLG OF GAY NTENT AND S FANCIAL SUPPORT OF ANTI-LGBTQ+ POLICIANS—WAS MAYBE NEVER BOUND TO BE “SO GAY” AFTER ALL. SO THE NEXT TIME THE FORMER UNRSTUDY FOR LRA BELL BUNDY RUTHLS THE MIL OFF BROADWAY SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS SO GAY, DON’T NECSARILY TAKE HER WORD FOR .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE REALYEXCLIVE NEW DETAILS ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE’S WEDDG DRSA BIRD’S-EYE VIEW OF EVERYTHG HAPPENG AT THIS FALL’S FILM FTIVALS—WHOUT THE STARSA SER SETBACK FOR TMP’S PLAN TO GET REELECTED AND PARDON HIMSELFMEET KYLE DCHANEL, THE PRETEND PLAYBOY WHO SEEMS TO HAVE FOOLED HALF OF MANHATTANTHE ULTIMATE GUI TO FALL MOVIFROM THE ARCHIVE: A FATHER’S ACUNT OF THE TRIAL OF HIS DGHTER’S KILLEREND-OF-SUMMER SALE! TAKE 25% OFF AT THE VF SHOPCHRIS MURPHY

A group of "gay furry" hackers has been releasg rmatn om US state ernments.