Can Gay and Straight Men Really Be Friends? | Psychology Today Canada

conversations with friends gay

If you are an ally of the LGBT+ muny, you may be ncerned about behavg a way that supports that attu. If you stggle to accept gay people, you may not be sure how to talk to them whout brgg up your own beliefs....

Contents:

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI

Could gay guys be the ultimate wg men for their straight, male iends? * conversations with friends gay *

I’m extremely exced about the upg Hulu adaptatn of Irish novelist Sally Rooney’s 2017 but, Conversatns wh Friends, but then aga, that’s not really a surprise; I’m a gay woman wh brown hair and an affy for die mic, so I may be what they ll a mark for Rooney adaptatns.

His portrayal of tortured, closeted llege athlete Henry Wallace 2018’s Boy Erased, which followed a young gay man’s experience of nversn therapy Tennsee, was his breakout film role. In some of my most sperate hours for gay bondg, I’ve attend LGBTQ+-themed therapy groups my area. Outsi of LGBTQ+-specific meetups, a great way to fd LGBT iendships is actually by attendg meetups that gay people typilly like.

I’ll never fet beg 15 years old and walkg to my first ever meetg for lbian, gay, bi, queer, and trans youth at BAGLY Boston. ”) The close queer iends we make bee a chosen fay, wh a shared culture and inty, formg the bonds that are sential to our wellns and as gay bars and bookstor are closg left and right, many of have turned to apps to fill that gap, meang we spend more time than ever alone our rooms.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * conversations with friends gay *

LGBT2Q people exist all genrs, all cultur, and relyg on your gaydar is a good start, but expandg your queer and trans cultural referenc will boost your abili.

Instagram and Twter make easier to fd other people wh the same terts, whether ’s hedgehogs or aerosol art, and there are so many homo-tastic hashtags. Try #QueerStyle, #BlackTransExcellence, #QueerFemme, #LbianMem, #BiLove, #GenrEuphoria, #Gaysian, #LGBTTikTok. Or, add your inty to your state, school, or profsn to fd #GayMichigan or #QueerMorehoe or #TransUtah or #PansexualUK and more.

That may be surprisg news if you’ve been raised a homophobic branch of your relig tradn, but I promise you—they’re out there, and they n’t wa to wele you (and you may fd really healg to brg your whole self to your fah tradn).

HOW TO TALK WH A GAY OR LBIAN PERSON

* conversations with friends gay *

Here are some lks to lists of affirmg (that’s the relig buzzword for “we like the gays here”) anizatns:. Check out Unlikely Hikers, which specifilly wel and celebrat people who don’t f the classic Patagonia profile cludg fat folks and hikers of lour; Venture Out Project, which is n by and explicly wel trans people; Gay SCUBA Week and Queer Paddlers; and basilly what I’m sayg is that if you want to be out and Out there are fely other ‘mos to do wh your area.

If you’re newly sober or revery and tryg to avoid plac, people, or patterns that may not be healthy for you right now, a gay AA or other revery meetg might be a double-w for you: support on your path and a boost for your new social life. (Mis)e hookup apps wh gay be clear, a happy, healthy, nsentg hookup is a thg of bety. ” or “What a great lor story, ” ’s extremely likely they’re sayg HELLO I AM ALSO QUEER AND/OR TRANS AND I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO don’t be fooled if someone don’t “look gay.

A NEW LANGUAGE BETWEEN GAY MEN

We’re everywhere and we look like anyone and also please don’t ntribute to the ia that there’s one way to look gay, ol? They’ll troduce you to their nonbary , their gay office iend, the trans girl their PhD hort, or whomever.

” When the argument lat, Bobbi later wr a text to Francis, “It is so stereotypilly homophobic to acce a gay woman of beg secretly jealo of a man. For a long time, iendships between gay men and straight men – what some now ll “bromosexual” iendships – were unmon. Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much mon wh gay men.

Specifilly, we’re terted lookg at the reasons gay men and straight men bee iends (or rema iends after the gay iend out).

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another. Many straight men hated to beiend gay men, fearg harassment, rejectn om their straight iends or beg lled gay.

The growg acceptance of homosexualy, however, has allayed some of the fears.

Gay men – particularly those nservative and ral environments – rema wary about tryg to beiend straight men, fearg prejudice-fueled rejectn. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship. Of urse, the tradnal notn that gay men and straight men nnot be close iends is herently homophobic and unte.

3 ESSENTIALS WHEN TALKG WH GAY FRIENDS AND FAY

We propose gay-straight male iendships are not only possible, but that they n grow to be extremely rewardg. If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg.

So which straight men are the most likely to beiend gay men, and vice versa?

Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood. Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS GAY

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img[importance=to].lazyload{opacy:1;}{posn:absolute;left:-10000px,width:1px;height:1px;paddg:0;marg:-1px;overflow:hidn;clip:rect(0, 0, 0, 0);whe-space:nowrap;borr-width:0;}{-webk-background-size:ver;background-size:ver;-webk-background-posn:center;background-posn:center;}@media prt{{display:none!important;}}@font-face{font-fay:'DidotItalic';src:url('/_assets/sign-tokens/harpersbazaar/static/fonts/9181BB9B47FA9AD7D.5139e24.woff2') format('woff2');font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-display:swap;}[data-embed]:not(:fed){display:none;}[data-embed]:fed{display:-webk-var(--data-embed-display, block);display:var(--data-embed-display, block);}@font-face{font-fay:"Didot-fallback";size-adjt:80.5%;src:lol('Noto Serif');}</style><div id="__next"><style data-emotn="css-global ploijv">{clear:both;}@media (m-width: 90rem){():not([data-embed]="body-image"){clear:none;}}</style><sectn data-teractive="SiPanel-1" class="css-0 e7czha50"><style data-emotn="css 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rm3c9i">{posn:absolute;right:1.4rem;top:1.2rem;borr-lor:#ffffff;borr-style:solid;borr-width:0 0.0625rem 0.0625rem 0;paddg:0.2rem;-webk-transn:-webk-transform 0.25s ease--out;transn:transform 0.25s ease--out;cursor:poter;background-lor:transparent;lor:#fff;}.submenu-open {-webk-transform:rotate(45g);-moz-transform:rotate(45g);-ms-transform:rotate(45g);transform:rotate(45g);}.submenu-closed {-webk-transform:rotate(-45g);-moz-transform:rotate(-45g);-ms-transform:rotate(-45g);transform:rotate(-45g);}</style><button role="button" tabInx="0" aria-expand="false" class="css-rm3c9i eqt11jm7"></button><style data-emotn="css kba65c animatn-1dfsy">{posn:relative;list-style:none;marg:0rem;paddg:0rem;max-height:0rem;-webk-transn:max-height 0.3s cubic-bezier(0, 1, 0, 1),opacy 0.2s lear 0.15s,marg 0.3s lear;transn:max-height 0.3s cubic-bezier(0, 1, 0, 1),opacy 0.2s lear 0.15s,marg 0.3s lear;height:unset;overflow:hidn;opacy:0;visibily:hidn;-webk-animatn:1s animatn-1dfsy;animatn:1s animatn-1dfsy;-webk-animatn-fill-mo:forwards;animatn-fill-mo:forwards;width:lc(100% + 2rem);marg-left:-1rem;background-lor:#000000;lor:#fff;}.submenu-open {max-height:27rem;overflow-y:scroll;height:to;opacy:1;visibily:visible;marg-top:0.75rem;}.submenu-closed {max-height:0rem;}@-webk-keyam animatn-1dfsy{99%{visibily:hidn;display:none;}100%{visibily:visible;display:block;}}@keyam animatn-1dfsy{99%{visibily:hidn;display:none;}100%{visibily:visible;display:block;}}</style><ul class="css-kba65c eqt11jm10"><style data-emotn="css 1bf8erj">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;cursor:poter;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;height:2.5rem;paddg:0 1rem;} {-webk-transn:background-lor 0.2s lear;transn:background-lor 0.2s lear;} {background-lor:#000000;lor:#fff;} a{opacy:0.8;}{background-lor:#000000;lor:#000000;}</style><li class="nav-em css-1bf8erj eqt11jm8"><a href="/fashn/fashn-week/" class="css-9c4cq4 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Alwyn Is Pretty Normal After All</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="3" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css vqgwj6">{lor:#242424;font-fay:Didot,Didot-fallback,Geia,Tim,serif;font-weight:400;grid-lumn:1/-1;letter-spacg:-0.04em;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.1875rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.68749rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.68749rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><h1 class="css-vqgwj6 exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>Joe Alwyn Is Pretty Normal After All<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 16zc7x2">{lor:#242424;font-fay:HarmoniaSans,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:0.04rem;marg-bottom:0;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.25rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.25rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.375rem;le-height:1.4;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-16zc7x2 exadjwu8"><p>The <em>Conversatns wh Friends</em> star is known for beg unually quiet on the subjects of fame and Taylor Swift—but also maybe he's jt beg Brish.</p></div><style data-emotn="css x63js5">{lor:greyXxdark;display:block;font-fay:HarmoniaSans,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:none;letter-spacg:0.07rem;le-height:1.3;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-bottom:0.3125rem;font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;marg-top:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg-bottom:0.3125rem;font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.3;marg-top:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.3125rem;}} span{font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.4;letter-spacg:0.04rem;text-transform:upperse;} span a:hover{lor:#595959;}</style><div class="css-x63js5 exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css 1ydr40s">{lor:greyXxdark;display:block;font-fay:HarmoniaSans,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-style:normal;font-weight:none;letter-spacg:0.07rem;le-height:1.3;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.3;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.3125rem;}}</style><addrs class="css-1ydr40s ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css b96ph3">{lor:greyXxdark;font-fay:HarmoniaSans,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:none;letter-spacg:0.07rem;le-height:1.3;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.3;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.3125rem;}}</style><span class="css-b96ph3 ehvvd9m1">By Louis Stapl</span><style data-emotn="css 1t0hzxy">{display:le-block;letter-spacg:0.04rem;marg-left:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.4;}}{lor:#B30010;ntent:'/';font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1;marg-right:0.625rem;paddg:0 0.3rem 0;}</style><time class="css-1t0hzxy exadjwu6">Published: May 17, 2022</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css 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100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 1710407">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;}{float:left;text-transform:upperse;font-weight:bold;marg-right:0.9375rem;marg-bottom:-0.625rem;marg-top:0;}{font-fay:Didot,Didot-fallback,Geia,Tim,serif;font-size:6.25rem;font-weight:normal;le-height:0.9;marg:0.3rem 0.6rem -0.6rem -0.26rem;text-transform:upperse;}@-moz-document url-prefix(){{marg-top:0.625rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:6.25rem;le-height:0.9;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="body-dropp css-1710407 et3p2gv0">“That’s not somethg people often ask me about,” adms Joe Alwyn. It’s a humid, sunny day London, and I’ve jt asked him about when people the public eye should speak out about polics.</p><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="1" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Specifilly, we’re discsg so-lled “nversn therapy” – a bunked practice which is still legal to perform on mors 35 US stat. The issue is close to Alwyn’s heart. His portrayal of tortured, closeted llege athlete Henry Wallace 2018’s <em>Boy Erased</em>, which followed a young gay man’s experience of nversn therapy Tennsee, was his breakout film role. Closer to home, the UK ernment has jt backtracked on s promise to pletely outlaw the practice, so ’s topil. “I thk ’s sane, ’s awful,” he says of the current suatn. “It’s absolutely spible. All of needs to be banned.”</p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">It’s both surprisg and unsurprisg that Alwyn isn’t often terrogated about his polil views. Dpe his imprsive CV, which clus crilly praised rol Yos Lanthimos’s Osr-wng <em>The Favoure</em> (2018) and Josie Rourke’s femist retellg of <em>Mary Queen of Sts</em> (2018), he’s not a hoehold name que yet. But bee of his girliend, who you <em>might</em> have heard of – a certa Taylor Swift – he is a topic of fascatn pop culture. (Speakg of polics, Swift <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="creds" class="body-lk css-7l5upj et3p2gv0"><u>creds</u></a> him wh helpg her to go public wh her polil views 2018, which ed youth voter registratn to <a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="spike" class="body-lk css-7l5upj et3p2gv0"><u>spike</u></a>). </p><div data-no-id="3" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css czvr2b">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:none;borr-top:0.05rem dotted black;borr-bottom:0.05rem dotted black;}</style><div class="css-czvr2b e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1u1cssp">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0rem;}</style><div class="css-1u1cssp e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css 1wx04ot">{marg:0rem;font-weight:600;font-fay:HarmoniaSans,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.4;letter-spacg:0.125rem;paddg:0.625rem 0 0;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-1wx04ot e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Harper's BAZAAR</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css m2yst6">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;marg:0rem;font-weight:500;m-height:2.4rem;font-fay:HarmoniaSans,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.01rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.125rem;}</style><h6 class="css-m2yst6 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in .

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