'Return the key': the parents who reject their gay children | Society | The Guardian

Contents:

• 'RETURN THE KEY': THE PARENTS WHO REJECT THEIR GAY CHILDREN
• INTY PROFIL LBIAN, GAY, AND BISEXUAL YOUTH: THE ROLE OF FAY INFLUENC
• LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENR YOUTH AND FAY ACCEPTANCE

'RETURN THE KEY': THE PARENTS WHO REJECT THEIR GAY CHILDREN

The parental anti-LGBTQ bias are at least part rponsible for higher rat of poverty and homelsns as well as worse mental and physil health out among LGBTQ people relative to their cisgenr heterosexual unterparts (Rsell & Fish, 2016; D’ami et al., 2015; Kle & Golub 2016) 1:Key TermsTermsDefnsLGBTQLbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer/Qutng, Asexual, Intersex, and other sexual and genr morized intiCisgenrA person whose assigned sex at birth aligns wh their current genr inty and exprsnTransgenrA person whose genr inty is other than their sex assigned at birth, and/or someone who tak a trans inty that n clu transwoman, transman, or transgenr personGenr QueerA person who chews the bary sex and genr system; a person whose genr inty and exprsn li outsi of the system of ntemporary normative genr tegori of man and womanGenr Non-nformgA person whose genr exprsn and inty differs om or li outsi of the tradnal genr tegori and inti of man or womanAsexualA person who do not have sexual attractn to or sexual tert other people; a person who intifi as an asexualHeterosexualA person who is primarily attracted to people of a different sex; a person who intifi as a heterosexual or straight personBisexualA person who is attracted to men and women; a person who is attracted to people of any genrPansexualA person who is attracted to people of any genrYet, while parents’ disapproval of an LGBTQ inty is a unique and potentially vastatg form of nflict that n rult trangement, recent rearch suggts that the majory of LGBTQ adults rema their parent-child relatnships even the face of ongog rejectn (Fischer & Kalmijn 2020; Hank & Salzburger, 2015; Norwood 2013; Reczek, 2016a, b; Obock, 2013). The risk of poverty and beg unhoed appears particularly pronounced among LGBTQ youth of lor (Murphy & Hardaway, 2017; Jam et al., 2016), although this is not bee parents of lor are more homo/bi/trans phobic than whe parents but bee of the tersectn of stctural and terpersonal racism that shap parents’ abily and rourc to support their children (Murphy & Hardaway, 2017; Robson, 2018; Toomey et al., 2017; Schmz, Robson, & Sanchez, 2020).

INTY PROFIL LBIAN, GAY, AND BISEXUAL YOUTH: THE ROLE OF FAY INFLUENC

For example, as Stone (2020) shows, gay and lbian adults do “fort work, ” which volv ncerted efforts to crease parents’ fort levels wh their sexualy by facilatg their entrance to LGBTQ spac. The nstctn of the sexualy variable reprented Table 2 followed a siar procs, wh a wi variety of optns prented, and then a mutually exclive tegoril variable was nstcted wh the tegori: gay or lbian, queer, bisexual, multiple tegori selected, and other (such as pansexual, fluid, straight, etc. Bee of the rejectn of a re part of rponnt’s inty, tnal attempts to nflict n be operative and relatively lm or n be direct or more ntent and that pends on how both members of the parent-child tie engage that nflict and are willg (or not willg) to learn and (25 years, whe, gay cisgenr man) and his mom were tranged for about two years bee she uld not accept him beg gay.

LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENR YOUTH AND FAY ACCEPTANCE

After Percy found a signifint other, brgg his partner around is a way to te parents about how “normal” is to be gay; this tn facilated renciliatn between the pair and supports the ntuatn of their relatnship today:. Didn’t unrstand, and my first reactn after hearg that, oh my God, my son is gog to be ma fun of, my son’s gog to have, you know, all of the terrible thgs that the world has agast gays and lbians, was jt total fear at first. When Clarence’s mom, Gayle (72, whe, cisgenr straight woman), was asked about her feelgs about Clarence beg gay she said, “I jt want him to be happy, and live his life like he feels he should, and be accepted for who he was meant to be” and nsirs their relatnship still “very, very close.

” She explas that her hband has “s and brothers [that have been gay] and so ’s always been somethg that has been always, I’ll say, the closet…they didn’t addrs his fay. For example, Darr (30 years, whe, cisgenr gay man) was rejected om his home by his parents, and afterward did not talk to them for a few years, sayg “When I me out at 15, we didn’t talk aga until I was almost 18. LGBTQ adults do signifint work to keep their relatnship functng when a parent rejects them by managg nflict very specific se study of LGBTQ adult children mak nflict work dynamics more apparent as parents’ anti-LGBTQ beliefs and bias are often so damagg that LGBTQ adults have work diligently to navigate parents’ homophobia or transphobia jt to exist their relatnships (Anrsen & Blosnich, 2013; D’Ami et al., 2015; Montano et al., 2018).