Activists nmn vlence agast LGBTQ muny St. Vcent, where gay sex is illegal - The Washgton Post

gay not theyre

Many young men intify as mostly straight — a sexual orientatn that is not que straight but also, they say, ls gay than bisexualy

Contents:

AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?

Am I gay? Some fd this hard to answer. Knowg whether you are gay or straight, though, down to attractns and behavrs. Fd out more. * gay not theyre *

The reactn was as paful as was unrstandable: Back then, the world was a very different place for a 20-somethg LGBTQ I was the age of today’s Generatn Z, beg lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer, qutng — basilly, any inty that wasn’t heterosexual — meant livg a natn that was neher tolerant nor acceptg. Appallg don’t even beg to scribe this, pecially at a time when a rerd number of trans women and genr nonnformg people are beg Florida, the legislature is by phg through an irrponsible measure dubbed the “don’t say gay” bill, which forbids discsn of sexual orientatn and genr inty schools.

LGBT WEBSE SURVEY FDS THAT 93% OF GAY MEN POLLED DON’T WANT TO BE LABELED “QUEER”

A recent survey done by the webse The Gay UK has found that 60% of those polled fd g the term “Queer” to scribe members of the LGBT muny is… * gay not theyre *

The word queer is still ed as a slur agast many people the muny, particularly gay and bisexual men, and although some may refer to themselv this way, the webse says ’s probably bt not to e language that offence to others. ”LGBTQ protters at a pro-mocracy monstratn earlier this Shlomo KatBy way of example, Ben-Lulu c the experience of one terviewee, a gay man om New York, who cid to immigrate to Israel bee he did not feel fortable rryg an Israeli flag at the NYC Pri March.

”Osher Haleli, who has been gog back and forth between Israel and the Uned Stat sce childhood, tak a b of fort the fact that her gay iends Ameri have been through a siar oral followg a radil change ernment and persevered.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

How do I know if I am gay? Are there fe signs you are gay? We have answers. Consir the signs you might be gay. * gay not theyre *

’”From the Edors of DetailsDpe the sistence of many—straight and gay—that swchg between sexual preferenc n’t technilly happen, Rothenberg isn’t the only man to have believed he was homosexual before cidg that he was wrong.

When he later fell love wh a woman (who was at the time a lbian) and realized he was straight, he didn’t rm anyone that he’d been wavg that rabow flag although there aren’t statistics to show how many men go through a siar sexual shift, anecdotal evince suggts that some men who nsir themselv to be gay experience this kd of change not bee of sexual experimentatn or peer prsure but bee they ci that they want to sleep wh women stead of Ethan Robson (not his real name), a 37-year-old film edor om Los Angel, chasg women durg his post-llege years beme a chore. Bee of the fluence of Schorr put siarly Natnal Review: “To suggt that social suggtibily uld be playg a role the skyrocketg numbers of young girls’ exprsg their sire to bee mal, for example, is not of urse to say that gay and transgenr people would not exist whout the topics’ beg discsed the public square.

Yet when the men were forced to choose between straight, bisexual or gay, about three-quarters marked straight bee for them bisexual, even if is unrstood as “bisexual-leang straight, ” is too gay to accurately scribe their inty.

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

Origally posted March 1, 2016 by Hari Ziyad at For a while, I thought I was gay. And maybe I was for some of that time – there’s nothg wrong wh beg gay. But I’m fely not now. I thought I was gay bee I thought I was a man, and I thought I was only and always attracted * gay not theyre *

A 2017 review of 52 studi, for stance, found that when pared wh heterosexual people, bisexual people had higher rat of prsn and anxiety, and higher or equivalent rat of those ndns when pared wh those who intified as gay.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

The crease the number of visible gay and trans people is sometim treated as a cursy or a e for ncern by crics, but ’s not a surprise. It’s normal. * gay not theyre *

People unr 25, nclud somethg siar among Ameri’s youth: Bisexual high school stunts reported more feelgs of sadns and hopelsns and more thoughts of suici than those who intified as heterosexual or ’s also some evince that bisexual people fared worse than their heterosexual and gay unterparts durg the panmic, cludg greater strs, lonels, psychologil distrs and fatigue; and poorer mental and physil health than those intifyg as straight or dispary is often a rult of the prejudic bisexual people face, Dr. The study found that much of this discrimatn often om gay and lbian people, followed by fay members and straight people; and n directly impact bisexual people’s mental health, cludg ntributg to prsn, strs and exacerbated or triggered anxiety (cludg panic attacks and post-trmatic strs disorr). But addn, gay and lbian teens often al wh an extra layer of strs — like whether they have to hi who they are, whether they will be harassed about beg gay, or whether they will face stereotyp or judgments if they are hont about who they are.

Yet the mands for new rearch are real: Right now, we thk people are eher straight or gay, as if one drop of gayns mak you gay, even if this means distortg the sexual and romantic experienc of lns of teenagers and young adults who are neher gay nor straight.

"Also, if he is not actually attracted to people of the same sex, do not masturbate to fantasi of people of the same sex, is not really aroed by same sex pornography, then is hard to make the se that he has a homosexual orientatn. Another was heterosexual and feared he had agreed wh Brodsky that some therapists may miss an OCD diagnosis, but "the most likely e of that is not that they are too gay-affirmg but that they lack trag regnizg the symptoms of OCD.

HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY

Someone's sexualy is personal, so 's important to rpect their privacy. However, you might want to know if a person is gay bee you're terted datg them or want to support them as a iend. Beg open wh them n be... * gay not theyre *

The film won’t say , but a post-creds punchle about Ken’s handwrg, plete wh hearts and stars surroundg his name, tells what we need to heavily implied nature of Ken’s gayns Toy Story 3 harkens back to Hollywood’s tradnal gay bt iend-type characters.

In the Hays Co era, explic referenc to homosexualy weren’t allowed, so characters like Van Buren (Frankl Pangborn) 1937’s Easy Livg, Kip (David Wayne) 1949’s Adam’s Rib, or Addison (Gee Sanrs) 1950’s All About Eve stead were imbued wh effemate characteristics, offerg a glimpse outsi of heteronormativy whout explicly beg of the characters were the same—some were tty, others sweet.

As a rult, gay men bought the doll drov, and spe Mattel ultimately rellg the doll and wipg away any trace of Earrg Magic Ken, was near-impossible to see Ken as anythg but the glor homosexual he was born to be om then on.

WHY THERE ARE FEW OPENLY GAY ATHLET IN MEN'S PROFSNAL SPORTS

* gay not theyre *

While there is no way to “drs gay, ” there are several dolls that seem to suggt otherwise, such as:Fashnista Ken #193, who looks very exced to tell you about his new obssn, Troye Sivan;Travel Ken Doll, who has a satchel perfect for bathho and a purple overnight bag that lerally proclaims he’s “extra;”Ken Looks Doll, servg “I’m gonna give you a makeover”-type realns while sportg black pleather pants;This Ken, who wears the least heterosexual double nim I have a feelg the new Barbie movie will put the work to nvce that Ken is a hetero du who lov nothg life more than Barbie herself, the wrg’s already on the wall: Ken is, and always will be, Barbie’s gay bt obssg!

GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT

Two athlet recently g out has highlighted the arth of openly gay players the world of U.S. men's profsnal sports, often dubbed "the last closet" for s lack of LGBTQ reprentatn. * gay not theyre *

Vcent, anal sex is punishable by up to 10 years prison, while “gross cency” wh another person of the same sex is punishable by up to five years, acrdg to lonial-era laws that are mon the socially nservative Caribbean rarely voked, the rights group and a lol activist said the laws help legimize hostily and abe agast gay people. ”Human Rights Watch terviewed more than 20 members of the island’s LGBTQ muny who shared their stori but were not intified to protect them, notg that lol police are often openly discrimatory toward gay people who seek help. Several reported that their fai are homophobic and physilly and verbally abed them, g them to bee homels and promptg some to nsir also stggle to fd jobs amid a high unemployment rate and said they face discrimatn, cludg a 19-year-old gay man who said he has rorted to beggg: “Sometim I am so hungry.

'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

Activists nmn vlence agast LGBTQ muny St. Vcent, where gay sex is illegal * gay not theyre *

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. Human Rights Watch terviewed more than 20 members of the island’s LGBTQ muny who shared their stori but were not intified to protect them, notg that lol police are often openly discrimatory toward gay people who seek help.

But the backlash agast LGBTQ+ people and culture has gone much further, cludg charg of pedophilia and "groomg, " the tense cricism of rporatns for once-route celebratns of Pri month, and attempts to crimalize exprsns of gay culture, cludg drag show Human Rights Campaign recently clared a "state of emergency" for LGBTQ+ people the Uned Stat, cg the wave of anti-LGBTQ+ legislatn an acpanyg "impact report, " the anizatn scribed the current environment as "a retread of vtage homophobic/transphobic mpaigns of the past, " likeng the anti-trans movement to Ana Bryant's explicly anti-gay "Save Our Children" mpaign of the 1970s. Perhaps you've heard of people who e out as gay late you might be ls faiar wh people who don't realize they are gay until well to spoke to three dividuals about their journey of disvery and gleaned three signifint sights to human sexualy.

'PASSAG' DIRECTOR NOUNC 'DANGERO' NC-17 RATG ON A FILM PICTG A GAY LOVE STORY

GOP senators told Insir that their voters are nflatg gay rights wh trans issu, which have creasgly bee central to the culture war. * gay not theyre *

"The impulse and prsure to lean toward heterosexualy and away om homosexualy is what wrer Adrienne Rich lled "pulsory heterosexualy, " a term she popularized, which refers to the ia of heterosexualy as the flt sexual inty. Social stigma n keep people om explorg homosexualy and journey to realize, accept, and e out wh a person's sexualy happens for some people  middle Hewt me out four years ago, at the age of 45, after two marriag to men and two children. Of the llege stunts they surveyed, 26% of self-intified gay and bisexual llege stunts beme aware of their sexual preference llege, 48% high self-intified gay and bisexual men, 20% knew junr high school, and 17% knew gra school.

Wh women, 6% knew junr high school, and 11% knew gra a 3-year-old don't fully unrstand what beg gay means (even the nt admted that he uld change his md  the future), a fay allowg their son to fearlsly be whoever he wants to be om such an early age uld be monumental his formative years.

TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE SETS SOCIAL MEDIA ALIGHT AFTER THE ACTOR SAID PLAYG THE ROLE ‘BROKE HIM’

Three people offer sights om their experienc of realizg they were gay later their liv." name="scriptn * gay not theyre *

” Their shows nsistently sell out, bee, as loyal fans know, Bond never do the same show shows May celebratg their 60th, or “Diamond Jubilee, ” at Joe’s Pub — the Public Theater’s baret and Bond’s third New York home — I met a hirsute math profsor a hot pk feathered headdrs and halter top who se Bond multiple tim a year; a yogi om Arlgton, Va., who’s a longtime fan of Viv’s but who hat Kiki; and a group of six gay men their early 30s who’d learned of Bond when they were teens, watchg Bond play the mistrs of ceremoni Mchell’s iastic 2006 film, “Shortb. “I jt remember listeng to Vivian’s performance and beg this visceral, real illtratn of the drama of the era and the excement of beg out the gay world and also the fear and tensy of AIDS at the time, ” Wawright many ways, what Bond did after retirg Kiki was bee a younger, succsful, nonalholic versn of her — a woman who has been through all and keeps on sgg. Gog onle broke through the isolatn that had been a hallmark of beg young and gay, and allowed gay teenagers to fd rmatn to refute what their fai or church sometim still told them - namely, that they would never fd happs and to the Inter and to creasg cultural acceptance of homosexualy (an crease marred, we should note, by measur like Proposn 8), kids who might once have waed until high school or even llege to e out are now dog so earlier.

" They were not, however, silent: "Good luck gettg middle-schoolers not to talk, " the school unselor youth of the Webster kids and other gay middle-schoolers is a sign of how far gay rights have e — but 's also the kids' biggt obstacle to acceptance. The irony of a parent spectg her kid is gay and then refg to believe he uld know his own orientatn highlights how much more difficulty some parents have wh burgeong gay sexualy than they would wh a straight kid's of this may have to do wh the misnceptn that you have to have gay terurse to be gay, or that homosexualy is somehow a more "sexual" orientatn than heterosexualy.

A lawyer Florida argued that gay-straight allianc promote the "premature sexualizatn of the stunts, " and when At started a gay-straight alliance, his Michigan school ma him ll somethg "ls ntroversial" (he chose "Peace Alliance"). Denizet-Lewis reports the hopeful words of velopmental psychologist Rch Sav-Williams: "This is the first generatn of gay kids who have the great joy of beg able to argue wh their parents about datg, jt like their straight peers do.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

Is my hband gay? is an unthkable qutn to many wiv, and some hbands do turn out to be gay. Learn the signs of a gay hband. * gay not theyre *

Tradnal Gay Pri Flag (Image cred: Getty Imag/Norberto Cuen)This is probably the flag you'll see most often: Six lors, apparently easier to produce than the odd-numbered seven (although other reports say was more about makg the flag easier for paras and to hang on posts). But the "leather flag, " created by Tony DeBlase 1989, is a symbol of that muny (which clus many gay men)—black may symbolize leather, whe is pury, blue is votn, and the heart is Brotherhood Flag(Image cred: Getty Imag/grebhkovmaxim)Craig Byrn and Pl Wzkoske 1995 ma the "bear flag" for "a subculture of mascule-prentg gay, bisexual and trans men who embrace facial and body hair and may have larger bodi. Vcent and the Grenad, where gay sex is still crimalized.From homelsns to ongog physil and verbal abe, the gay muny the small natn of some 100,000 people says is unr nstant threat.“Every LGBT person terviewed by Human Rights Watch said they wished to leave the untry immediately or had envisned their future abroad,” the report stated.In St.

ACTIVISTS NMN VLENCE AGAST LGBTQ MUNY ST. VCENT, WHERE GAY SEX IS ILLEGAL

There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * gay not theyre *

Vcent, anal sex is punishable by up to 10 years prison, while “gross cency” wh another person of the same sex is punishable by up to five years, acrdg to lonial-era laws that are mon the socially nservative Caribbean regn.While rarely voked, the rights group and a lol activist said the laws help legimize hostily and abe agast gay people.“The laws still have an impact,” said Jhua Bardoo, an ternatnal human rights lawyer om St.

“The (LGTBQ) muny the untry is very, very margalized and vulnerable.”Human Rights Watch terviewed more than 20 members of the island’s LGBTQ muny who shared their stori but were not intified to protect them, notg that lol police are often openly discrimatory toward gay people who seek help.A 58-year-old bisexual man relled how someone h him the head wh a bottle an attack that cracked his skull and put him a a. One gay man relled how his classmat beat him and broke his arm.Several reported that their fai are homophobic and physilly and verbally abed them, g them to bee homels and promptg some to nsir suici.Many also stggle to fd jobs amid a high unemployment rate and said they face discrimatn, cludg a 19-year-old gay man who said he has rorted to beggg: “Sometim I am so hungry. That kd of irratnal homophobia is entirely unacceptable.”González wh Human Rights Watch noted that 2019, the ernment held a workshop for public employe on the importance of rpectg gay rights, a rare move for a nservative Caribbean natn.

There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough".He said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'".When Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3,000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance blossomed.Three years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Gay kids are g out earlier — sometim middle school — and many are fdg acceptance. But some parents and teachers wonr if the kids are too young to really know their sexual orientatn. * gay not theyre *

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos".He relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife."Danny Beard on Same Sex Love and MarriageDanny explor same-sex weddgs, fdg out why upl chose to get married, the challeng unrpng this cisn and what mak the wedd relatnships work.The uple said they now wanted to help people who were not as ee and strive for "equaly for everyone"."Now I'm here a safe place I want to fight for others to be able to marry who they want," Adam said."I'm so lucky but I want everyone else Sdi to marry the one they love whout facg discrimatn and persecutn." Image source, Fay photographImage ptn, Peter McGrah and David Cabreza say they are "very proud" to have been the first same-sex uple married EnglandMore than 40,000 same-sex marriag took place between 2014 and 2020, acrdg to the Office for Natnal StatisticsPeter McGrah and David Cabreza, origally om Stland and the US, ma history when they beme the first same-sex uple to marry England on 29 March 2014.The trailblazers married jt after midnight at Islgton Town Hall.

DON'T SAY ANTI-GAY: AS GOP APPROVAL FOR SAME-SEX RELATNSHIPS PLUMMETS, REPUBLIN SENATORS SIST THEY'RE ONLY G AFTER TRANS RIGHTS, NOT GAY RIGHTS

Which ear is the gay earrg? You might rell hearg that if a man wore an earrg on the right ear, that meant he was gay. At the same time, the left ear is straight. * gay not theyre *

The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage"."It was so sweet seeg him so happy," Mr Cabreza said.

” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight). I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.

And send, your child may not know or be fully fortable their sexualy – so they might not have an answer, but still feel prsure to give I realized I might be gay, at age 16, I’d often vehemently oppose homosexualy my nversatns or bsh unr the rpet.

CALIFORNIA STILL HAS AN ANTI-GAY MARRIAGE LAW ON THE BOOKS. VOTERS ULD REMOVE NEXT YEAR

Rather than ask if your son is gay or dghter is gay, or watch for signs your child is gay, what you n do (and what my parents did, unknowgly) is make your kid believe that g out to parents would be way to do is by watchg gay-iendly media, like the Satyamev Jayate episo about sexualy, durg or after which you n mentn how brave you thk Gazal was for g to terms wh her trans inty and how you appreciate her parents’ efforts to stand by her si. ) And yet another way is to expose your child om the start to spirg stori of LGBTIQ ins like Harvey Milk, Freddie Mercury, and Ellen will all go a long way to nveyg to your child that, if they’re not gay, there’s still much to emulate the role mols; and if your child is gay, they n e out to you “bee ’s okay, ” as DeGener put a 1997 terview wh Oprah. If you want to ask so you n reassure your child of your acceptance, there are better ways to do (see above) you want to know whether your son is gay or dghter is gay bee you’re worried they’re havg sex, you don’t need to know wh what genr to talk to them about safe sexual practic and HIV preventn.

Arguments like, "the Bible says 's wrong to be gay, " n be refuted pretty easily wh jt a ltle knowledge of what the Bible actually says (if you aren't a rear, check out the great documentary, For the Bible Tells Me So. You n alway expla that a) not all gay men have anal sex, b) plenty of heterosexual uple do have anal sex, and c) most people who regularly have anal sex do bee feels good for both people and wh a few basic nods to hygiene and safety is no "grosser" than plenty of other sex acts most people don't eak out about. If someone tells you, "The Bible says s a s to be gay, " You might want to ask them if they also thk the hundreds of other proclamatns (don't eat shellfish, do marry your ad brothers widow, don't work on the Sabbath, do leave a sacrifice at the temple, don't touch a woman who has her perd, do cut off the hand of a thief) are ss that should be met wh the extreme punishments scribed.

Whether is an argument agast legalizg gay marriage or crimalizg gay parentg, a rant about gays the ary or a lamentatn over how "hard" is to be gay, alg wh someone who is tryg to argue that an aspect of who you are is wrong n be madng and paful.

THREE INSIGHTS OM PEOPLE WHO REALIZED THEY WERE GAY LATER LIFE

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

WHICH EAR IS THE GAY EARRG? WHICH EAR IS THE STRAIGHT EAR?

"WHY DO GAY PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO TELL PEOPLE THEY ARE GAY?"

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

THE GAY VOICE

WHAT TO DO IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAYBY ANWH SAHOO APR 20, 2017SHARE I’VE WRTEN BEFORE ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IS FOR PARENTS TO REACT SENSIVELY WHEN KIDS E OUT. I WROTE OM THE ASSUMPTN THAT THE NEWS THE CHILD IS GAY WOULD E AS A SURPRISE, IF NOT A SHOCK, AS WAS FOR MY PARENTS. BUT SOME PARENTS MIGHT GUS A CHILD’S SEXUALY BEFORE THE CHILD KNOWS (OR IS FORTABLE EXPRSG) . WHAT DO YOU DO THEN?WELL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THG IS TO SHOW THAT YOUR LOVE AND UNRSTANDG IS UNNDNAL. BEYOND THAT, HERE ARE SOME TIPS.I THK MY CHILD IS GAY. WHAT DO I DO?FIRST, LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T DO.DON’T JUMP TO NCLNS IF YOU THK YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY.WHILE I LARGELY DID F TO THE STEREOTYPIL RITURE OF A GAY MAN, NOT EVERY GAY PERSON DO. STEREOTYP AREN’T NECSARILY WRONG, BUT THEY ARE PLETE; THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF BEG. GAY MIGHT BE EFFEMATE, OR GAY ULD BE STRONG, DAC, POWERFUL AND BETIFUL – JT LIKE STRAIGHT ULD BE ANY OF THOSE THGS. DON’T LET THE MOST MON REPRENTATN OF HOMOSEXUALY – OR HETEROSEXUALY — MAKE YOU JUMP TO NCLNS ABOUT THE SEXUAL ORIENTATN OF YOUR CHILD. THERE ARE NO SYMPTOMS OF GAY THAT YOU N WATCH OUT FOR, BEE BEG GAY ISN’T A DISORR; KIDS WHO ARE GAY AND KIDS WHO ARE STRAIGHT E ALL SHAP, SIZ AND PERSONALI.DON’T SPECULATE ABOUT YOUR KID’S SEXUALY TO OTHERS. YOUR KID’S SEXUALY IS A SENSIVE TOPIC AND EXTREMELY PRIVATE FOR YOUR CHILD. EVEN IF HE (OR SHE) IS FORTABLE WH HIS SEXUALY, HE WOULDN’T NECSARILY WANT TO BE OUT TO YOUR IENDS AND NEIGHBOURS. GAY KIDS – AND KIDS PEOPLE THK ARE GAY, WHETHER THEY ARE OR NOT – FACE A LOT OF SENSIVE QUTNS AND MENTS, NOT TO MENTN BULLYG. THK: WOULD YOU LIKE PEOPLE WHISPERG ABOUT WHO YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE ATTRACTED TO? LET KIDS CHOOSE WHOM THEY WISH TO E OUT TO.DON’T ASK.IT MIGHT SEEM LOGIL: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY IF YOU DON’T ASK? BUT THAT’S NOT A GOOD MOVE. FIRST, THERE ARE A LN WAYS TO GO ABOUT MORE TACTFULLY (SEE BELOW). AND SEND, YOUR CHILD MAY NOT KNOW OR BE FULLY FORTABLE THEIR SEXUALY – SO THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE AN ANSWER, BUT STILL FEEL PRSURE TO GIVE ONE.WHEN I REALIZED I MIGHT BE GAY, AT AGE 16, I’D OFTEN VEHEMENTLY OPPOSE HOMOSEXUALY MY NVERSATNS OR BSH UNR THE RPET. THAT’S BEE I WAS REPEATG THE ATTUS I HAD BEEN NURTURED . (THE TERM ‘HOMOSEXUALY’ NEVER EXISTED MY VOBULARY TILL I WAS 13!) MOST OF HAVE LIVED OUR LIV A HETERO-NORMATIVE SOCIETY, SO MIGHT TAKE TIME FOR GAY KIDS TO E TO TERMS WH HOMOSEXUALY.WHICH BRGS ME TO THE DO’S:DO GIVE YOUR CHILD REASON TO BELIEVE YOU’D ACCEPT THEM IF/WHEN THEY E OUT TO YOU. RATHER THAN ASK IF YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, OR WATCH FOR SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS GAY, WHAT YOU  N DO (AND WHAT MY PARENTS DID, UNKNOWGLY) IS MAKE YOUR KID BELIEVE THAT G OUT TO PARENTS WOULD BE OK.ONE WAY TO DO IS BY WATCHG GAY-IENDLY MEDIA, LIKE THE SATYAMEV JAYATE EPISO ABOUT SEXUALY, DURG OR AFTER WHICH YOU N MENTN HOW BRAVE YOU THK GAZAL WAS FOR G TO TERMS WH HER TRANS INTY AND HOW YOU APPRECIATE HER PARENTS’ EFFORTS TO STAND BY HER SI. SIARLY, YOU ULD WATCH FILMS LIKE SUMMER MY VES, PRAYERS FOR BOBBY, OR TOUCH OF PK WHICH ARE ABOUT CHILDREN G OUT TO PARENTS. (IF YOUR NEW TASTE FILM DON’T PROMPT YOUR CHILD TO NFI, DON’T EAK OUT; THE SUBTLE MSAGE OF ACCEPTANCE YOU’RE SENDG IS MORE IMPORTANT.)ANOTHER WAY TO DO THIS IS BY MDG WHAT YOU SAY. USE SENSIVE AND UP-TO-DATE TERMS WHENEVER YOU TALK ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. (IF YOU NEED HELP, CHECK OUT MY LGBTIQ DICTNARY FOR PARENTS!) AND YET ANOTHER WAY IS TO EXPOSE YOUR CHILD OM THE START TO SPIRG STORI OF LGBTIQ INS LIKE HARVEY MILK, FREDDIE MERCURY, AND ELLEN DEGENER.THIS WILL ALL GO A LONG WAY TO NVEYG TO YOUR CHILD THAT, IF THEY’RE NOT GAY, THERE’S STILL MUCH TO EMULATE THE ROLE MOLS; AND IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY, THEY N E OUT TO YOU “BEE ’S OKAY,” AS DEGENER PUT A 1997 TERVIEW WH OPRAH. (HER WHOLE TERVIEW IS WORTH A WATCH.)DO WATCH YOUR TONE OF VOICE. GAY OR STRAIGHT, TEENS PICK UP ON HOW YOU SAY SOMETHG, FAR MORE THAN WHAT YOU SAY. TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEXUALY – GAY OR STRAIGHT — LIKE YOU’RE DISCSG WHAT THEY’D WANT TO HAVE FOR DNER, WHOUT AN OUNCE OF JUDGMENT, RISN OR EVEN AWKWARDNS. IF YOUR KID SEEMS DISTERTED, DON’T FORCE , BUT LET THEM BRG UP IF AND WHEN THEY’RE FORTABLE.DO ASK YOURSELF: WHY DO I WANT TO KNOW IF MY CHILD IS GAY? A LOT OF PARENTS DON’T EXACTLY EXPECT THEIR KIDS TO BE GAY, SO ADAPTG PERSONAL EXPECTATNS AND DREAMS MIGHT BE DIFFICULT – BUT YOU DON’T NEED YOUR CHILD’S NFIRMATN TO DO . IF YOU WANT TO ASK SO YOU N REASSURE YOUR CHILD OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO DO (SEE ABOVE).IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHETHER YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY BEE YOU’RE WORRIED THEY’RE HAVG SEX, YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WH WHAT GENR TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT SAFE SEXUAL PRACTIC AND HIV PREVENTN. IT’LL BE AWKWARD, BUT ’S IMPORTANT, SO GET OVER .IF YOU WANT TO KNOW BEE YOU’RE STGGLG TO ACCEPT THE POSSIBILY THAT YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, NOW IS THE TIME TO NONT YOUR OWN PREJUDICE. IT MAY E AS A SURPRISE TO YOU; I’VE HEARD MANY OF MY CLASSMAT SAY, “OH, I SUPPORT HOMOSEXUALY, BUT MY KID BETTER NOT BE GAY!” IT DON’T REALLY WORK THAT WAY; YOU EHER DO ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY, OR YOU DON’T. USE THIS OPPORTUNY TO ACTUALLY LIVE UP TO HOW YOU’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOURSELF.AND NSIR THIS: YOUR CHILD MAY WELL BE STGGLG AS MUCH OR MORE THAN YOU. ASKG ABOUT THEIR SEXUALY BEFORE THEY’RE READY IS MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED, NOT ABOUT WHAT THEY NEED. THK OF A DIFFICULT MOMENT YOUR LIFE: DID YOU WELE OTHER PEOPLE’S QUTNS AT THAT TIME? DID YOU JT WANT TO FIGURE OUT YOURSELF AND MOVE ON?FALLY, WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE 100% ACCEPTG, THE LAST TWO POTS ARE MOST IMPORTANT IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAY:DO MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD KNOWS THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN A PERSON’S SEXUALY. LET YOUR CHILD’S SEXUALY BE JT ONE PART OF WHO HE OR SHE IS. DO YOUR CHILD SEE YOU ONLY AS SOMEONE WHO IS ATTRACTED TO THE OPPOSE SEX? PROBABLY NOT. PROBABLY THEY SEE YOU AS A MOTHER OR FATHER, A SUCCSFUL PROFSNAL, A SUPPORTIVE IEND OR NEIGHBOUR, A GOOD CIZEN, BEE YOU ARE ALL THOSE THGS; GAY OR STRAIGHT, YOUR CHILD N BE ALL OF THOSE THGS AND MORE, TOO. DEFG KIDS BY WHOM THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO IS AS ARBRARY AND LIMG AS FG THEM BY THEIR SHOE SIZE. CELEBRATE ALL PARTS OF THEIR PERSONALY.DO TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU’VE ALWAYS TREATED THEM. YOUR CHILD DIDN’T JT TURN GAY OVERNIGHT. THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY. DEALG WH A GAY CHILD (OR ONE YOU THK MIGHT BE GAY) DON’T HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT OM ALG WH A STRAIGHT CHILD. WHY SHOULD YOUR SPECULATN – OR YOUR KNOWLEDGE, IF THEY’VE E OUT — CHANGE THE RELATNSHIP BETWEEN YOU?SHARE TAGS LGBTQIA+ | PRETEENS | SEXUALY | TEENS WRTEN BY ANWH SAHOO ANWH SAHOO IS A VORAC WRER, OPTIMIST AND A LOVER OF OLD-SCHOOL INDIAN ART, MIC AND FASHN. WHILE HE’S A FIRM BELIEVER PRACTILY, A PART OF HIM LOV LIVG A WORLD OF POSSIBILI. HE BLOGS AT THE EFFEMARE, A PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE HE GETS TO ILLTRATE THE UTOPIAN WORLD HE WANTS TO BE A PART OF. HE LOOKS AT LIFE AS A THRILLG MYSTERY NOVEL WRTEN BY GOD AND, SCE HIS NOVEL HAS ONLY STARTED, HE’D GO WH: ‘I AM STILL EVOLVG!’ SEE ALL ARTICL BY ANWHLATT SCIENCE ARTICL RISE OF THE CYBSFROM HEARG COLORS TO SEEG ULTRAVLET, IS ENHANCEMENT THE FUTURE OF HUMAN SENS?

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What to Do if You Thk Your Child Is Gay | The Swaddle.

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