Kev Maxen, Jaguars associate strength ach, out as gay a first for U.S.-based pro leagu

Contents:

• I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN
• WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?
• AM I GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• READG MY DIARY OM WHEN I WAS A TEEN MA ME REALIZE I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS GAY
• IS ALLAN OM 'BARBIE' GAY? 5 REASONS TO THK HE MIGHT BE
• KEV MAXEN, JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH, OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR U.S.-BASED PRO LEAGU

I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

Jt as if you were qutng your orientatn and thkg you might be gay, I n offer some background basics and thgs to thk about. However, along the l of sexualy beg fluid, I feel that while there are certaly people who are jt attracted to people of the same genr or a different genr (or asexual), most people fall somewhere on a broad spectm between gay and straight (and beyond!

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

Unfortunately, more often than not, 's not easy beg gay. Not bee beg gay self is hard, but bee of societal prsure and judgement. As you said yourself, beg gay is, or has bee, a major part of your inty.

You're out and proud and feelg at home your lol and the greater gay muny. Likewise, we don't want or need people who re about but do not re for our sexual orientatn, such as a well-tentned parent, to tell they are relieved that we, fact, not gay. Our two ma articl on this very topic, The Be Be: A Homosexualy and Bisexualy Primer and Bi the Dozen: A Bisexualy Quiz addrs this que extensively.

Speakg of articl, I'd also suggt readg The Makgs of a Homo on a young guy intifyg as gay (I realize you are beyond this step your personal journey, but you still might fd tertg) and well as Makg Sense of Sexual Media. Gay, straight, bi or beyond, the articl Supermol: Creatg & Nurturg Your Own Bt Relatnship Mols and Pothol & Dead Ends: Relatnship Roadblocks to Look Out For brg up important relatnship nsiratns. As I allud to a b the first part of my rponse, when you're queer, n be hard to claim that inty, form that muny and more; beg gay be a huge part of who you are.

AM I GAY?

The gay muny tends to be close kn, but jt bee you're not datg a guy don't mean you have to be ostracized om ! In fact, when you thk about , the gay muny tends to be a very open and acceptg group. In the early neti, Dan Rothenberg was havg a gay old time—lerally.

” Fifteen years later, he ss outsi a Wt Hollywood Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf remiscg wh a woman about his days as an out-and-proud gay man. Five or so years before that, Rothenberg was paralyzed by fear over the realizatn that he wasn’t actually gay.

’”From the Edors of DetailsDpe the sistence of many—straight and gay—that swchg between sexual preferenc n’t technilly happen, Rothenberg isn’t the only man to have believed he was homosexual before cidg that he was wrong. The aren’t gays who attend fah-based programs to be “cured, ” or bisexuals who rotate between male and female sex partners the way the rt of alternate pairs of sho. And they’re not the type who hi gay urg public while privately trottg off to the lol Andrew Br, who grew up Milwkee, was all about girls—until he had sex wh a guy at the end of his senr year of high school.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

When he later fell love wh a woman (who was at the time a lbian) and realized he was straight, he didn’t rm anyone that he’d been wavg that rabow flag although there aren’t statistics to show how many men go through a siar sexual shift, anecdotal evince suggts that some men who nsir themselv to be gay experience this kd of change not bee of sexual experimentatn or peer prsure but bee they ci that they want to sleep wh women stead of Ethan Robson (not his real name), a 37-year-old film edor om Los Angel, chasg women durg his post-llege years beme a chore. “If I went to a gay bar I got h on like crazy, whereas at a straight bar the women all but turned their backs, ” Robson says. “At gay clubs you danced, you had fun.

”After that relatnship fizzled, Robson dated another guy but eventually realized that he wasn’t gay. Bob (not his real name), a 33-year-old artist om Los Angel, cid he was gay when he was about 10.

I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.

Although he had sex wh girls high school, an extremely close iendship wh a neighborhood boy, bed wh homophobic tnts om his sports ach, only strengthened his belief that he was gay. I was like, ‘I’m not gay, I’m not gay, I’m not gay.

’ It was like the flip scenar of when I thought I was gay. ”While the men all thk the swch om gay to straight was a five experience, some experts are skeptil that such a turnaround happens any but the rart s.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

“I’ve only n across men who me out of the closet and pursued their gay inty but uldn’t whstand the prsur of fay and society so returned to beg closeted and heterosexual relatnships, ” says Ian Kerner, Ph. Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr.

Sce genr inty and sexual orientatn are separate, transgenr people n intify as straight, gay, lbian, bisexual, etc.

READG MY DIARY OM WHEN I WAS A TEEN MA ME REALIZE I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS GAY

In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all.

If the sufferer is heterosexual, then the thought may be that they are homosexual. If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight. ” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

For those wh thoughts of beg homosexual, part of the distrs mt surely be social orig. Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.

IS ALLAN OM 'BARBIE' GAY? 5 REASONS TO THK HE MIGHT BE

Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.

KEV MAXEN, JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH, OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR U.S.-BASED PRO LEAGU

Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight. Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person. Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to.

Do you thk I uld be gay (or straight)? How n I tell if I’m really gay (or straight)?

Can you sudnly turn to a homosexual (or heterosexual) even if you have never felt or acted that that way?