Gay Men and Their Mothers: Is There a Special Closens? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• VELMA IS OFFICIALLY A LBIAN NEW ‘SOBY-DOO’ FILM, YEARS AFTER JAM GUNN AND MORE TRIED TO MAKE HER EXPLICLY GAY
• WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?
• GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE FALLY UNLOCKED PUZZLE OF WHY PEOPLE ARE GAY
• WHAT MAK JUDY GARLAND A GAY IN? EXPERTS EXPLA WHAT SHE AND OTHERS, OM DIANA ROSS TO MADONNA, HAVE MON
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• ‘LEGEND OF KORRA’ CREATORS NFIRM GAY ROMANCE BETWEEN KORRA AND ASAMI
• DOLLYWOOD: A LTLE B COUNTRY, A LTLE B GAY

VELMA IS OFFICIALLY A LBIAN NEW ‘SOBY-DOO’ FILM, YEARS AFTER JAM GUNN AND MORE TRIED TO MAKE HER EXPLICLY GAY

Sexual orientatn refers to the endurg physil, romantic and/or emotnal attractn to members of the same and/or other genrs, cludg lbian, gay, bisexual and straight orientatns. I thk you need to talk to her about , maybe she is bi or gay and if she is then there is nothg you n do about , if you have a threome make clear that is a one off and that is not ok for your wife to go off and see this girl for sex etc whout you.

Books, televisn shows and feature-length films have all highlighted this unique relatnship, noted for s closens and wh society's attus toward gays and lbians changg, 's bee all the more important to build a holistic unrstandg of the relatnships between gay and straight a rearcher social psychology, I've often wonred: Why do straight female-gay male relatnships work so well? Bee gay men don't mate wh women—or pete wh them for mat—women feel a certa level of fort wh gay men, and the procs of formg a close iendship n occur relatively heterosexual men (who, by fn, are sexually attracted to women), the procs is longer—and potentially more ght—bee men may be grapplg wh their own sexual other words, bee gay men are attracted to their own genr, they're a "safe bet" for women—at least, om a socblogil three years ago, I ially tted this theory a seri of experiments that have served as the foundatn of my rearch program on gay-straight the experiments, straight female participants were shown fict Facebook profil pictg eher a straight woman, straight man or gay man.

I also reced gay male participants, and had them plete the same task (wh the gay men viewg Facebook profil pictg a straight female, gay male or lbian female) experiments, published the journal Evolutnary Psychology, monstrated that straight women and gay men perceived one another to be tstworthy sourc of relatnship and datg advice.

WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?

Crackg the why and whenRecently, my lleagu and I at the Universy of Texas at Arlgton veloped a seri of four related tled the four studi "Why (and When) Straight Women Tst Gay Men: Ulterr Matg Motiv and Female Competn, " wh the hope of better tablishg why straight women tst gay men and when straight women would be most likely to seek out gay men for iendship and the first study, I wanted to replite the fdg that women tst gay men more than straight men or straight women.

GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

This time, however, I wanted to see if women would only tst gay men's datg-related advice as opposed to other typ of turns out straight women only tsted a gay man's advice about a potential boyiend more than the same advice om, say, a straight man or another straight woman.

It really only had to do wh one thg: datg and further exame why this might be the se, we had women image receivg rmatn om eher a straight woman, straight man, or a gay man about their physil appearance and the dateabily of potential boyiends. We then asked the women how scere they felt the rpons expected, the female subjects seemed to perceive the judgments g om the gay man to be more scere bee they knew that he wouldn't have any ulterr motiv—whether that meant woog the subject (which they might spect of straight men) or petg for the same romantic partner (straight women) the fal two studi, we wanted to figure out when women were most likely to beiend and place their tst gay men.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

We predicted that this would most often occur highly petive datg environments, where a tstworthy source like a gay iend would be valued by women jockeyg wh one another for a tt this, we created a fake news article that tailed extremely skewed sex rats, ditg that women llege were petg over a very small pool of men. We had women read this news article and then dite how much they would tst a straight woman or a gay man var datg-related women read the news article about the creased petn, their tst gay men was amplified.

Not only were women more apt to tst gay men unr this ndn, but we also found that they beme more willg to make gay male datg adviceThe downsi is that if a straight woman valu her gay male iends only for datg advice, the relatnship uld bee que superficial (see Chris Rtta's say "I'm Gay, Not Your Accsory"). However, the strong tst that women ially form wh gay men n serve as a primer; eventually, this tst uld extend to other areas, wh the iendship blossomg over fdgs—bed wh our own—show that there seems to be an extremely strong psychologil unrpng for why women are so drawn to gay stance, a recent study the Journal of Bs and Psychology revealed that straight women tend to hire gay men over other heterosexual dividuals bee they perceive gay men to be more petent and warmer.

Furthermore, marketg rearchers have suggted that straight women prefer to work wh gay male sal associat over others nsumer retail two fdgs alone uld have many posive implitns for gay men the workplace. Although much of this rearch foc on why women are drawn to iendships wh gay men, another obv avenue of exploratn is whether or not gay men are siarly keen to form iendships wh straight women.

SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE FALLY UNLOCKED PUZZLE OF WHY PEOPLE ARE GAY

For example, a study I nducted 2013, I found that gay men also look to women for tstworthy datg advice or tips for fdg a prospective rearchers have suggted that gay men value the posive attus towards homosexualy that women tend to have (relative to straight men) this se, the implic tst seems to be a two-way Rsell is a Ph. ” If scientists n show that homosexualy is a geic tra, then homosexuals may have a legimate claim to beg protected as a mory class unr feral and state civil rights laws. Whatever the oute of scientific studi, the most important pot that we n make is that the qutn over the geic nature of homosexualy is pletely irrelevant to the bate.

WHAT MAK JUDY GARLAND A GAY IN? EXPERTS EXPLA WHAT SHE AND OTHERS, OM DIANA ROSS TO MADONNA, HAVE MON

The first large study that claimed that homosexuals are “born that way” was performed by Aled Ksey, and culmated his 1948 report entled Sexual Behavr the Human Male. Simon LaVey, himself a homosexual, examed the bras of 35 male davers (16 heterosexuals and 19 homosexuals) to see if he uld fd any differenc between the groups. Addnally, three of the “heterosexual” bras had smaller no clters than the average of the “homosexual” on, and three of the “homosexual” bras had larger no clters than the average of the “heterosexual” on.

In other words, the bra no might be smaller bee of homosexual activy stead of g , the same way that var other parts of the bra expand or ntract wh more or ls age.

Sendly, the fact that 48% of the intil tws of homosexual brothers the study were not homosexuals themselv dit that homosexualy is largely the rult of environmental fluenc. ”5 In fact, prev rearch had shown an extremely strong rrelatn between ct and rultant homosexualy, but Bailey and Pillard dismissed the effects of ct as “signifint. Most Amerins tend have a good measure of mon sense and stctively realize that homosexualy and s associated practic are unhealthy for both dividuals and societi general.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

After all, the homosexuals have ed the urt system to their great advantage on the way to fulfillg their many goals, jt as others ed the urt system to enshre abortn the Uned Stat over the objectns of most of the populatn. Dean Hamer’s 1993 study that found that more than 10% of the brothers of homosexual men were homosexuals themselv, pared to about 3% of the brothers of heterosexual men. Michael Bailey, a psychologist at Northwtern Universy Illois, ntued his studi om 1991 and found 2014 that the Xq28 chromosome had some impact on whether or not a man is a homosexual, although other gen seem to impact sexual orientatn as well.

The ProCon webse lists many tertg studi that seem to dite that homosexualy is geic, but the studi listed foc on such tangential factors as eye-blk rponse to startlg and sexual behavr among u fli. This was found to be te for many of the mothers and sons I terviewed for the study scribed the book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child (). So, perhaps is not pletely surprisg that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I terviewed felt that they had done somethg to damage them.

Fortunately, for many mothers of gay son—wh time and tn, they learn that the ia that they had somehow ma their son gay is ad wrong This was te of the mothers my study who also me to see the benefs havg a gay son as will be scribed later this post. My rearch, clil and personal experienc suggt that there is ed a al lk between male homosexualy and a close maternal relatnship but flows the oppose directn than what was prevly thought. I thk personally [beg gay] ma me a more emotnal person, more sensive, more touch wh both the male and female sis of myself, but allowg me to even acknowledge that other si ma me closer to my mother.

‘LEGEND OF KORRA’ CREATORS NFIRM GAY ROMANCE BETWEEN KORRA AND ASAMI

However, we get to hot water when we allow stereotyp to get the way of unrstandg the uniquens of dividuals and their circumstanc—so is important to remember that not all mothers and gay sons are close.

Sadly, some mothers simply nnot adjt to their sons' homosexualy, due to their guilt, relig ncerns, or abily to "let go" and accept the ways they live their liv. Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are.

DOLLYWOOD: A LTLE B COUNTRY, A LTLE B GAY

The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs. You may regret the acceptance of your orientatn the future, pecially if you're a part of the world where the gay muny is beg prosecuted by a specific culture. Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy.

A group of scientists suggted Tuday that homosexuals get that tra om their oppose-sex parents: A lbian will almost always get the tra om her father, while a gay man will get the tra om his heredary lk of homosexualy has long been tablished, but scientists knew was not a strictly geic lk, bee there are many pairs of intil tws who have differg sexuali. Scientists om the Natnal Instute for Mathematil and Blogil Synthis say homosexualy seems to have an epigeic, not a geic thought to have some sort of heredary lk, a group of scientists suggted Tuday that homosexualy is lked to epi-marks — extra layers of rmatn that ntrol how certa gen are exprsed. In homosexuals, the epi-marks aren't erased — they're passed om father-to-dghter or mother-to-son, explas William Rice, an evolutnary blogist at the Universy of California Santa Barbara and lead thor of the study.

"There is pellg evince that epi-marks ntribute to both the siary and dissiary of fay members, and n therefore feasibly ntribute to the observed faial herance of homosexualy and s low nrdance between [intil] tws, " Rice and his team created a mathematil mol that explas why homosexualy is passed through epi-marks, not geics.