Growg up wh gay parents: What is the big al?* - PMC

Contents:

• 10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS
• I HATED GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS
• GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*
• GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
• ‘I’M A HOMOPHOBE AND MY SON IS GAY’: DAD’S EMOTNAL REDD NFSN
• GAY PARENTS AS GOOD AS STRAIGHT ON

10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS

Like I said, I'm relatively young, and my md may change on whether or not I want kids, but I'm terted as of now, and I've been wonrg what 'd be like not only to raise a kid, but how kids that have grown up wh gay dads feel about . Super vulnerable post here, but I (24M) started spectg that my dad was gay when I was around 12 years old.

It’s really trmatizg growg up wh a gay dad a relig anizatn that don’t value him. Before you ask, this breaks down as: my blogil father; my stepdad (his partner, y, my dad’s gay); my other stepdad (my mum’s partner); my father--law and my hband (the father of my two children). But what you and everyone else wants to know is what is really like growg up wh gay parents?

While I was open about my parents spltg up, I knew the real reason behd the break-up uldn’t be talked about; the part where my dad me out as gay. I thk their parents were sred they’d tch the ‘gay bug’ off my dads or me (I might rry too! Sadly, there is a really difficult si to havg gay parents – homophobia – which isn’t down to your fay, ’s society’s flt.

I HATED GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS

If ’s not bad enough hearg people e ‘gay’ as a scribg word, there’s a really nasty dark si that I endured. I tried to protect my dad, and not tell him about what was happeng at first, until I received answer phone msag at home om the bulli g homophobic slurs. I felt guilty for puttg my parents through all, and I also hated myself for not pg – I wasn’t gay, so how uld I feel so cshed by homophobia?

Throughout my late teens and early twenti, I attend Gay Pri events wh my dads, I mpaigned for LGBT issu and I ma a pot about beg wh my wonrful fay. If anythg, even though I’m straight, havg gay parents ma me more fortable wh people the LGBTQ+ scene. LGBT is still a popular term ed to discs genr and sexual mori, but all GSRM are wele beyond lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr people who nsent to participate a safe space.

GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON

Growg up wh a gay father, particularly one who was aaid to e out, prented challeng our abily to get emotnally close. From my earlit memori of my Dad around age 5, I thk I always knew my dad was gay.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

To hear both of them tell , my Dad beg gay wasn’t a factor the spl. After all, he was the son of a Baptist Preacher and there would not have been much tolerance the 1940’s or 50’s for him to e out as gay.

In talkg to both of them over the years, they both claim they had no ia my Dad was gay. In retrospect, the fact that he was a cheerlear his bt iend was a male hairdrser (who was openly gay) that my Uncle Buddy nicknamed him “Percy” (which my Dad hated) and that my Dad went on to open a home furnishgs store might have been a clue. Realizg his sexualy and beg a gay father the late 1960s, pecially wh me a long way away, mt have been really transformative for my Dad.

He lived and around the Oak Lawn area of Dallas (long a predomantly gay or at least gay-iendly neighborhood).

KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS

He was meetg lots of openly gay people & gog to clubs where was OK to be openly gay. My Dad, of urse, was sistent that no one would obvly know he was gay (which also ma Tom and I lgh).

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

In Loren’s se, he didn’t e to terms wh beg gay until the age of 40 and was married wh children at the time.

The one benef to always knowg I had a gay father is that there was never I time I rell thkg was wrong. I first realized my Dad was gay when I was around 7 or 8, and I have no rellectn of him beg wh my Mom. Almost all his iends were gay as were most of his employe (those 2 groups pretty much beg the same people).

That beg said, I was probably spared a lot of bullyg at school sce no one there knew I had a gay father. I feel que sure I got lucky this regard and that many kids wh a gay father were picked on for their parent’s sexualy. I’m proud of the fact that I and their mother have raised our dghters to not qutn or judge my Dad or Tom beg gay.

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

Our girls simply accept them for who they are, jt as they do all their other fay members who happen to not be gay. I always knew he was gay and never had that “my Dad is gay” aha moment of realizg I had a gay father.

Together we learned how to be a father and son a day and age where beg a gay father was most certaly owned upon. If you are a gay father or the child of a gay father (or mother), and your relatnship isn’t all that uld be, don’t wa until ’s too late to fix .

‘I’M A HOMOPHOBE AND MY SON IS GAY’: DAD’S EMOTNAL REDD NFSN

[Gay Pri Para Rally Dallas] – This photograph is part of the llectn entled: LGBT Collectns and one other and was provid by UNT Librari Special Collectns to Digal Library. If you uld give advice to other kids who have a gay/lbian/ bisexual/transgenr parent or relative, what would be? If your fay is happy, you’re luckier than many others out there, whether anyone is heterosexual, homosexual, or whatever else.

When I was growg up wh a gay dad, I felt a need to prove my masculy and strength. Bee of my gay mom, I thk I feel passn for all and try to be kd to everyone, cludg those who are different or who I don’t unrstand.

In addn to participatg the survey, Carole Shor, dghter of Del Shor, was also kd enough to s down wh me and share her experience growg up wh a gay father. Her father me out when she was barely a toddler, and she went to a very progrsive elementary school California, where she never had any problems sce several other stunts had gay/lbian parents. In her words: “When I was twelve or thirteen, I went to middle school Van Nuys, California, and that was the first time I started to see homophobia.

GAY PARENTS AS GOOD AS STRAIGHT ON

A uple days later she said, ‘I’m sorry, but my dad won’t let me go bee your dad is gay. Lately when I hear anythg relig based and homophobic, I try to keep md the people are on the wrong si of history. When we discsed the benefs of havg a gay dad, she said she nsired a blsg.

Carole also ma a good pot about how much easier ’s beg for gay people to e out, fd support groups, and not feel as alone wh so many onle rourc and social media providg immediate accs to rmatn.

“There’s even a whe rapper, Macklemore, wh a gay anthem song [wh Ryan Lewis] lled ‘Same Love, ’” she said. Sce the hip-hop dtry has been known for not beg very gayiendly, Carole saw as a huge step for a straight rapper to e out wh a song like this. ” Carole Shor is a wise and lovg young woman, livg proof that gay or not gay, Del Shor is an excellent parent.