Gay Men and Their Fathers: Hurt and Healg | Psychology Today

Contents:

• 10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS
• I HATED GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS
• GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*
• GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
• ‘I’M A HOMOPHOBE AND MY SON IS GAY’: DAD’S EMOTNAL REDD NFSN
• GAY PARENTS AS GOOD AS STRAIGHT ON

10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS

Like I said, I'm relatively young, and my md may change on whether or not I want kids, but I'm terted as of now, and I've been wonrg what 'd be like not only to raise a kid, but how kids that have grown up wh gay dads feel about .

I HATED GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS

Super vulnerable post here, but I (24M) started spectg that my dad was gay when I was around 12 years old. It’s really trmatizg growg up wh a gay dad a relig anizatn that don’t value him. Before you ask, this breaks down as: my blogil father; my stepdad (his partner, y, my dad’s gay); my other stepdad (my mum’s partner); my father--law and my hband (the father of my two children).

GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON

But what you and everyone else wants to know is what is really like growg up wh gay parents? While I was open about my parents spltg up, I knew the real reason behd the break-up uldn’t be talked about; the part where my dad me out as gay.

I thk their parents were sred they’d tch the ‘gay bug’ off my dads or me (I might rry too!

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

Sadly, there is a really difficult si to havg gay parents – homophobia – which isn’t down to your fay, ’s society’s flt. If ’s not bad enough hearg people e ‘gay’ as a scribg word, there’s a really nasty dark si that I endured.

I tried to protect my dad, and not tell him about what was happeng at first, until I received answer phone msag at home om the bulli g homophobic slurs.

KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS

I felt guilty for puttg my parents through all, and I also hated myself for not pg – I wasn’t gay, so how uld I feel so cshed by homophobia?

Throughout my late teens and early twenti, I attend Gay Pri events wh my dads, I mpaigned for LGBT issu and I ma a pot about beg wh my wonrful fay.

If anythg, even though I’m straight, havg gay parents ma me more fortable wh people the LGBTQ+ scene.

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

LGBT is still a popular term ed to discs genr and sexual mori, but all GSRM are wele beyond lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr people who nsent to participate a safe space. Growg up wh a gay father, particularly one who was aaid to e out, prented challeng our abily to get emotnally close.

From my earlit memori of my Dad around age 5, I thk I always knew my dad was gay. To hear both of them tell , my Dad beg gay wasn’t a factor the spl. After all, he was the son of a Baptist Preacher and there would not have been much tolerance the 1940’s or 50’s for him to e out as gay.

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

In talkg to both of them over the years, they both claim they had no ia my Dad was gay.

In retrospect, the fact that he was a cheerlear his bt iend was a male hairdrser (who was openly gay) that my Uncle Buddy nicknamed him “Percy” (which my Dad hated) and that my Dad went on to open a home furnishgs store might have been a clue. Realizg his sexualy and beg a gay father the late 1960s, pecially wh me a long way away, mt have been really transformative for my Dad.

He lived and around the Oak Lawn area of Dallas (long a predomantly gay or at least gay-iendly neighborhood). He was meetg lots of openly gay people & gog to clubs where was OK to be openly gay. My Dad, of urse, was sistent that no one would obvly know he was gay (which also ma Tom and I lgh).

‘I’M A HOMOPHOBE AND MY SON IS GAY’: DAD’S EMOTNAL REDD NFSN

In Loren’s se, he didn’t e to terms wh beg gay until the age of 40 and was married wh children at the time. The one benef to always knowg I had a gay father is that there was never I time I rell thkg was wrong.

I first realized my Dad was gay when I was around 7 or 8, and I have no rellectn of him beg wh my Mom. Almost all his iends were gay as were most of his employe (those 2 groups pretty much beg the same people).

That beg said, I was probably spared a lot of bullyg at school sce no one there knew I had a gay father.

GAY PARENTS AS GOOD AS STRAIGHT ON

I feel que sure I got lucky this regard and that many kids wh a gay father were picked on for their parent’s sexualy.