Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

i am not gay but i have gay thoughts

How do I know if I am gay? Are there fe signs you are gay? We have answers. Consir the signs you might be gay.

Contents:

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all.

If the sufferer is heterosexual, then the thought may be that they are homosexual. If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight. ” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

HELP:I AM NOT GAY BUT THE THOUGHTS WONT GO AWAY.................

For those wh thoughts of beg homosexual, part of the distrs mt surely be social orig. Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng.

I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt. Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg. Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight.

FEELG GUILTY ABOUT "GAY THOUGHTS"

Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to. Can you sudnly turn to a homosexual (or heterosexual) even if you have never felt or acted that that way? If I get sexual sensatns when viewg sexual material of an oppose orientatn do mean I am gay (or straight)?

A typil example would be a heterosexual man who experienc an erectn while lookg at gay eroti.

This reactn is strengthened by the rrect belief that homosexual cu never stimulate heterosexuals. Avoidg standg close to, touchg or bshg agast members of the same sex (or oppose sex if the sufferer is gay).

INTSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT BEG GAY

Not readg or lookg at vios news reports books or articl havg anythg to do wh gay people or other sexual subjects. Never sayg the words “gay, ” “homosexual, ” (or “straight”) or any other related term. Tryg to not look or act effemately (if a man), or a mascule way (if a woman), (or vice versa if the sufferer is gay).

Not drsg ways that would make one look effemate (if a man), or mascule (if a woman), (aga vice versa if the sufferer is gay). Avoidg associatg wh anyone who may be gay or who seems to lean that directn (if the sufferer is heterosexual). The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight).

Visg gay meetgs shops, browsg gay bookstor, or visg areas of town that are more predomantly gay. Dog a seri of wrg assignments of a uple of pag each that suggt more and more that you actually are gay or wish to be. Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you).

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Avoid observg yourself to see if you behaved a way you image a homosexual or member of the oppose sex would. If you are qutng your sexualy, how do you know the difference between havg HOCD and actually beg gay? Currently sufferg om OCD (Obssive Compulsive Disorr)Recurrg unwanted or tsive thoughts about your own sexualyConstantly reassurg yourself that you are straightAvoidg people of your same genr due to anxiety or unwanted fears that you might be gayWorryg that you might be sendg out “signals” that will make others thk you are gayHomosexual thoughts are repulsive to you, rather than arogFeelg no attractn to your same sexRepeatg an actn bee you worry that you might have done somethg a way that mak others thk you are gay (example: a man repeatedly gets up and ss down on a chair bee he worri that he tak a seat a way that looks too feme).

Homosexual thoughts are enjoyable and/or arog to the person, even if they hi their sexual orientatn om others or are ashamed of Havg had past sexual experienc wh those of their same genrPreferrg to date or have sexual enunters wh people of their same genr stead of wh those of the oppose sexOften, people who are gay report havg felt differently than their same-sex peers at an early age. Homosexual Obssive Compulsive Disorr (HOCD) is tegorized by tsive thoughts revolvg around one’s sexual orientatn. Homosexual OCD n be bilatg to one’s assured that HOCD Treatment volv many of the same typ of therapi ed for other typ of OCD.

A person sufferg om this sub-type of OCD nstantly doubts their sexual orientatn:A straight person worri whether they might actually be gay even though they haven’t doubted their sexual orientatn the pastThey might worry that homosexualy is “tchg”They may thk that talkg wh a gay person will make them act out by triggerg their own latent homosexual tennci. Sometim, HOCD sufferers are so sure they are gay that they actually out themselv and beg homosexual relatnships.

AM I GAY IF I HAVE SAME SEX FANTASI?

Where a tly gay person obtas happs and relief the act of revealg their homosexual orientatn, HOCD people who e out ntue to doubt their wh tradnal OCD, people who are affected by this ternalized homophobia engage ruals to help them alleviate their anxiety and prove to themselv that they are tly straight. When around lbians or gay men, they might check their bodi for aroal or qutn if they are attracted to the person. People wh Homosexual OCD may also keep up a nng mental dialogue or obss over past sexual enunters an effort to nvce themselv that they are straight.

They might also perform washg ruals if they are around a gay person, may act overtly to assure themselv of their sexual orientatn, or may even blatantly act out agast gay people orr to prove they are straight. Addnally, HOCD sufferers might avoid physil ntact or beg alone wh gay people and may even rry this behavr to shunng same-sex public rtrooms or not eatg public se the food was prepared by a gay person.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Durg therapy ssns the patient fac the suatns that trigger their obssns orr to learn how to al wh their ternalized homophobia and rce their fixatn. If they don’t, they may unsel the person to help them accept their homosexualy which will only aggravate the person’s HOCD more rmatn and help wh HOCD ’s symptoms the Delray Beach, FL area, please ntact Dr. Re: help:i am not gay but the thoughts wont go away.................

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

I have spent untls nights jt wantg to dissapear bee I nvced myself that i was gay.

I even was nvced that i was a women a mans body and that is why i have been havg the gay thoughts. You might take some fort knowg that both your same-sex mutual masturbatn experience, and your "gay thoughts" when masturbatg alone, are shared by many. Some younger and olr men feel strongly about publicly intifyg themselv, some way, as gay, straight, or bi, while others are ntent wh livg their happy liv private.

PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT

24, 2014— -- Steven Brodsky, a psychologist who specializ obssive-pulsive disorr, says that at any one time he has a "handful" of clients who are straight and spect that they are gay. J., said he had one adult patient who was so crippled by obssive thoughts about beg gay that he was unable to live penntly and had to move back wh his parents to pe.

YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD

Brodsky said he termed his patient had OCD associated wh homosexualy. Brodsky said a prev therapist had misdiagnosed his patient as gay, and at the patient's requt, sent him off to reparative therapy, a ntroversial method that has not been proven to be effective and n be harmful. Even though they know that they are 100 percent straight, not gay, they send gus .

"I say, oh, that's tertg, how do you feel about beg gay and what n we do about that? "Brodsky argu that today's open acceptance of homosexualy and gay liftyl n bld therapists to this kd of anxiety disorr straight men.

Jack Drcher, a noted New York Cy psychiatrist who is nsired an expert gay and lbian mental health and treats patients for OCD, agreed that "beg worried that one might be gay is not the same thg as beg gay. ""A person wh OCD who has is havg tsive thoughts about whether or not he is gay, is not gay, the sense that he has not rporated a homosexual orientatn any mimally affirmg way to his inty, " said Drcher.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

"Also, if he is not actually attracted to people of the same sex, do not masturbate to fantasi of people of the same sex, is not really aroed by same sex pornography, then is hard to make the se that he has a homosexual orientatn.

Another was heterosexual and feared he had agreed wh Brodsky that some therapists may miss an OCD diagnosis, but "the most likely e of that is not that they are too gay-affirmg but that they lack trag regnizg the symptoms of OCD. Brodsky said that a gay person has "pleasant associatn" wh same-sex attractn and a person wh OCD do not.

"Repeatedly, anxly, reviewg past suatns, ttg themselv, askg for reassurance, pulsively rearchg the Inter for gay tts, ttg themselv wh gay porn or gay people. ""Someone who is gay, but the closet, is not spendg time rearchg and ttg themselv, " he said.

I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

"Havg an obssn about beg gay is no different om any other mental obssn, said Brodsky. "A iend might say somethg and they thk, 'Gee, I uld be gay or I am dog somethg a gay person would do. "The obssive thoughts are not rooted homophobia, acrdg to Brodsky.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* I AM NOT GAY BUT I HAVE GAY THOUGHTS

Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today .

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