Is Your Man Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• MEET THE STRAIGHT MEN WHO ARE TERRIFIED THEY ARE GAY
• MY THOUGHTS ON GAY BEHAVR (EP STUFF)
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• DEEP GAY THOUGHTS STICKER
• EP GAY THOUGHTS STICKER
• 'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY
• THE AM I GAY TT (MEN ONLY!)

MEET THE STRAIGHT MEN WHO ARE TERRIFIED THEY ARE GAY

Savenok/Strger/Getty Imag"In light of Jamey's ath, beme clear to me an stant that livg a gay life whout publicly acknowledgg is simply not enough to make any signifint ntributn to the immense work that li ahead on the road to plete equaly. "—From an terview Out of the Closets: Voic of Gay Liberatn, 1972"Our strategy is how we pe—how we measure and weigh what is to be said and when, what is to be done and how, and to whom, daily cidg/riskg who is we n ll an ally, ll a iend (whatever that person's sk, sex, or sexualy).

" — David Carter, "Stonewall: The Rts That Sparked the Gay Revolutn""Every sgle Amerin — gay, straight, lbian, bisexual, transgenr — every sgle Amerin serv to be treated equally the ey of the law and the ey of our society. That document quoted a 2005 stctn signed by Pope Benedict XVI that said, "The Church, while profoundly rpectg the persons qutn, nnot adm to the semary or to holy orrs those who practice homosexualy, prent ep-seated homosexual tennci or support the so-lled 'gay culture.

MY THOUGHTS ON GAY BEHAVR (EP STUFF)

As La Stampa reported, Francis exprsed his ncern about admtg semarians wh ep-rooted homosexual tennci, tellg the clergymen, "If you have even the slightt doubt, is better not to let them . The phrase seems to have first been ed the 2005 document, lled "Instctn Concerng the Creria for the Discernment of Votns wh regard to Persons wh Homosexual Tennci  view of their Admissn to the Semary and to Holy Orrs.

In ments that were later redacted the official Vatin transcript, but reported by The Guardian, the pope seemed to suggt that homosexual tennci uld be treated if they surfaced durg childhood.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

The only rearch I uld fd on the so-lled ep-seated and transory tennci was a paper tled "The Distctn between Deep-Seated Homosexual Tennci and Transory Same-Sex Attractns Candidat for Semary and Relig Life. They do not view homosexualy as a disorred clatn, are fortable wh their sexual attractns, subscribe to the creasgly prevalent belief that homosexualy is a normal variatn human sexualy, and thk there is nothg wrong wh homosexual acts.

And as for transory same-sex attractn, Kleponis and Fzgibbons "em preferable to the e of the terms 'ego-dystonic' homosexualy or 'obligatory' or 'optnal' homosexualy bee impli the abily to change, " they wre. Is this the kd of junk science that Francis, the bishops, semary rectors, and members of the Congregatn for the Doctre of the Fah are relyg on to support the barrg of gay men om ordaed mistry and gays and lbians om nsecrated life?

The pope says that gays who are already ordaed and lbians and gays who are nsecrated life mt "be exquisely rponsible, tryg not to sndalize their muni or the holy and fahful People of God by livg a double life.

DEEP GAY THOUGHTS STICKER

That he holds them to a special standard of sls perfectn suggts that he not only se homosexualy as viant, he also se gays and lbians as somehow powerls agast their sexual sir and highly vulnerable to actg out sexually. Regardls of his motivatns, Francis' characterizatns of gays and lbians and his notn of "ep-seated homosexual tennci" will only foster the toxic homophobic attus that are already so prevalent semari and relig muni, as well as the wir church.

He rried out the same tt almost every night for the next three weeks, always wh the same searchg Inter mental health foms for answers to his private impasse, Darren beme nvced that he was sufferg om 'HOCD': a not officially regnised form of Obssive Compulsive Disorr fed by the fear of beg or beg homosexual.

EP GAY THOUGHTS STICKER

While he asserts that 'HOCD', an acronym ed by sufferers sharg their stori onle, isn't officially classified the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs (DSM), he says that the irratnal fear of beg or beg gay falls firmly wh the umbrella of Obssive Compulsive Disorr.

Darren says he grew up a "liberal-ish" hoehold and believ that homosexualy would have been accepted by his fay and iends, but 's easy to see how a ls tolerant upbrgg uld turn homosexualy to a e for anxiety. Nowadays, the majory of tablished OCD chari – cludg OCDUK, OCDActn and Md - addrs tsive sexual thoughts as a mon trope of the disorr, but that has done ltle to stem a backlash om some high-profile skeptics wh the psychologil muny, who believe that HOCD is at bt misguid, and at worst homophobia s most pernic guise. "My psychologist jt looked bored and hand me a leaflet"In November 2015, BuzzFeed UK's LGBT edor Patrick Stdwick published an article tled '"World's Leadg Anxiety Expert" Offers Treatment For People Who Worry That They're Gay' that heavily cricised the practice of a Harley Street therapist named Charl Ln who, acrdg to the se, boasted of a "100% succs rate" the treatment of "HOCD" the time the article was wrten, Ln's publishers were dubbg him as "the world's leadg thory on anxiety", and his webse ma hefty promis to sexually-nfed OCD sufferers.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

"If you are experiencg HOCD … and the thoughts , " the se read, "you are not gay and when you do my Method to elimate this and your other anxieti you'll fd out why you thk you might be and why you certaly are NOT! Elizabeth Peel, chair of the Brish Psychologil Society's 'Psychology of Sexuali' sectn and a profsor of Communitn & Social Interactn at Loughborough Universy, stat wh the piece that: "The term 'Homosexual OCD' is simply nversn therapy unr another guise and somethg we strongly nmn as damagg.

THE AM I GAY TT (MEN ONLY!)

And an age where even the Vice Print of the Uned Stat has exprsed tac support for the practice, 's unrstandable that high profile figur the psychologil muny would nmn anythg that uld fuel the rhetoric of homophobic 'therapists', or provi party-le approval of their methods.

After all, spe recent headways by LGBT groups and nunciatn om former Print Barrack Obama, gay nversn therapy is still legal across the US and only six stat have banned the practice relatn to mors. "If a client who is gay but anx about the nsequenc of acceptg themselv or g out go to a therapist who has an agenda about homosexualy, then of urse that therapist isn't workg the bt tert of their clients.

"Rose Bretécher believ the accatn HOCD is jt 'ternalised homophobia' is rrect, but don't blame anyone for leapg to such a ncln: "People's unrstandg is only as good as the rmatn available out there – and awarens is still pretty poor. "Joseph tells me that he has never had a gay person e to him wh tsive thoughts about heterosexualy, but ttimony exists on Inter foms, and the OCD Center of Los Angel stat that do happen.