Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

gay couple or friends

Alternate headle: “Science Confirms That Gays Are Better at Yearng Than Everyone Else.”

Contents:

BT GAY DATG APPS FOR HOOKUPS, RELATNSHIPS, AND EVERYTHG BETWEEN

* gay couple or friends *

It’s a time-honored queer tradn to yearn for our most timate iends, and a new study has nfirmed that gays, ed, do Jay Gatsby-que pg better, along wh jt about everythg else. They started hostg weddgs after their own venue told them — the week of their weddg — that would not acmodate a gay uple.

A 2019 Gallup poll found that 63% of rponnts believed gay marriage should be regnized as valid — and 93% thought that gays and lbians should have equal rights terms of job why do the phenomenon of misreadg same-sex upl as "jt iends" persist? Adam Blum, founr and director of the Gay Therapy Center, said that disfort around upl beg misread n stem om an issue of validatn.

"I thk to undo the impacts of a homophobic world, 's very healthy for most queer people to have at least one timate iendship wh a queer person who's gonna support you and miserate and validate and share their own same experienc, " Blum said. Boomg|Is It Gay Hband?

IS IT GAY HBAND? LBIAN WIFE? OR WHAT?

Apps like Grdr, HER and even OKCupid n help when you've already dated all the gay people you know. * gay couple or friends *

27, 2012Every other Tuday, Steven Petrow, the thor of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lbian Manners, ” (Workman, 2011), addrs qutns about gay and straight etiquette for a boomer-age dience. " I am a straight man my 50s, and most same-sex upl of my age group e “partner” to refer to each other although younger gay male iends speak of their “hbands” wh lbian upl routely g “wife. Given today’s crazy-quilt mix of state marriage laws (ma even more so by the Electn Day victori for gay weddgs), ’s no wonr you are nfed about how to refer to our signifint others.

The other day I heard about a recently married gay man who mentned his “hband” passg to a woman of a certa age (meang ours! It’s tertg to me that you rrectly intify the generatnal difference among your gay, lbian and bisexual iends (two snaps for payg attentn!

HOW TO INTRODUCE A MARRIED GAY COUPLE

Follow a gay uple’s lead as to how to refer to one spoe. And when doubt, “partner” ually satisfi everyone. * gay couple or friends *

) and I’ll bet you’re likely to rell when other terms were vogue — “longtime pann” was obuary for “gay” – and back the day the sexually suggtive “lover” was the mon moniker for many a practil level what I suggt dog is listeng to how a uple troduc or refers to each other. For stance, I recently overheard a gay iend a long-term relatnship refer to his better half as his “spoe” only to hear one of the straight folks ask him mut later what kd of work his “iend” did.

I’d love to see Endora st a spell on Congrs and get to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which prohibs Feral regnn of gay and lbian weddgs (and ni more than 1, 100 benefs like Social Secury for survivg spo or hospal visatn rights). If you need advice about gay/straight suatns or issu (geared to a boomer-aged dience), send them to Mr. Related: Bt Gay Movi Streamg on NetflixTo make sure the movi liver all the passn, fatuatn, urtship and flirtatn you may be cravg, our remendatns only clu movi where romantic relatnships are ont-and-center—which means such LGBTQ+ gems as, say, Can You Ever Five Me?

GAY COUPL CAN TEACH STRAIGHT PEOPLE A THG OR TWO ABOUT ARGUG

An Army sergeant asks how to troduce his girliend to a married gay uple, one of whom is an officer. * gay couple or friends *

)Bt Gay/LGBTQ Romantic Movi of All TimeNew Le Cema25. Fire Island (2022)Pri and Prejudice leans to pri Spa Night and Driveways director Andrew Ahn's magnificent rom- (wrten by star Joel Kim Booster) that loosely adapts Jane Aten for gay mec.

Love, Simon (2018)You may never fd a film more quietly revolutnary than Love, Simon, the first-ever Hollywood stud-released picture centered on a gay teen. Stranger by the Lake has so much on s bra that would be entirely rctive to jt label a "gay movie.

GAY MALE UPL FACE MORE CHALLENG, HIGHER STS TO START A FAY

Gay male upl often face an expensive journey to parenthood, wh surrogacy or adoptn their primary choic. Workplace fertily benefs often fall short. * gay couple or friends *

The platiffs the Obergefell se – a gay uple – were, every way asi om their same genr, ngent wh what most Amerins unrstand a married uple to be. They marshaled evince showg that a gay or lbian uple had the same abily to love, be timate and raise children.

24, 2013Every other Tuday, Steven Petrow, the thor of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lbian Manners” (Workman, 2011), addrs qutns about gay and straight etiquette for a boomer-age dience. Send qutns for Civil Behavr to Dear Civil Behavr: I’m a sergeant the Army, and my girliend and I are to meet wh a married gay uple (he’s an officer).

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

” This year, thanks to the Supreme Court’s double punch June — guttg the feral Defense of Marriage Act and dismissg California’s Prop 8 — the floodgat have opened and gay upl are shg to take advantage of this momento time. ’ ”Ined, etiquette n sometim seem like a strajacket (“do this, not that”), but also sets out protol, as this suatn, that simply mak for fewer missteps or fx that said, I know om iends and my own recent marriage that changg monikers tak some gettg ed to — by both gays and straights.

For stutns still adaptg to openly gay service members, the chang etiquette mt seem head-spng ed. Or a way to addrs nflict that is specific to gay men?

While there is not much rearch to draw om, the studi that do exist suggt that, on average, same-sex upl rolve nflict more nstctively than different-sex upl, and wh ls are always exceptns, and even the healthit of gay upl are not ntually baskg a rabow-hued utopia.

36 BT WEDDG GIFTS FOR GAY COUPL TO CELEBRATE THEIR WONRFUL RABOW LOVE

They have problems jt like everyone they did not, “I’d be out of bs, ” said Rick Miller, a psychotherapist Boston who works wh gay and straight upl.

Likewise, is unfair to lump all straight upl together, and disgenuo to suggt that they are not pable of argug a healthy bee male and female same-sex upl each have different strengths that help them endure, we n all learn om them, Miller are some nstctive methods to handle disagreements, as observed by rearchers of gay upl:Use humor to fe angerCrackg a joke the midst of a heated moment n backfire, but when done properly, “ almost immediately releas the tensn, ” said Robert Rave, 45, who liv wh his hband, David Forrt, Los ced a recent r trip where Forrt, 35, ed humor to help end an latg argument over whether they should rely on Google Maps. “Gay and lbian upl were gentler raisg issu, far ls fensive, and ed more humor than heterosexual partners, ” said John M.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

A 2018 study suggted that when members of a same-sex uple try to fluence one another, they are more likely to offer enuragement and praise rather than cricism or lectur when pared to different-sex mdful of each other’s emotnal needsUnlike gay men, women who are married to women are “nstantly monorg each other’s emotns and needs and rpondg to them — but they are dog for each other, so ’s reciproted, ” said Debra Umberson, Ph. Umberson, who has studied gay upl for more than a .

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY COUPLE OR FRIENDS

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(For the sake of science, behoov to state that the latter remas technilly unnfirmed, at this time.)</p><p>Published Monday the <a href="><em>Social Psychologil and Personaly Science</em></a> journal, a report found that 85% of same-sex upl began their romantic relatnships as iendships. While this may not seem entirely surprisg, that mak LGBTQ+ people way more likely to approach romance this way, as 68% of all survey participants reported takg the “iends to lovers” pipele — as the report puts .</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>Rearchers Danu Anthony Stson, Jsi J. Cameron and Lisa B. Hoplock me to the nclns after analyzg data om 2,000 study participants. Contrary to popular assumptns, most had been iends wh their partners prr to iatg romance, as opposed to meetg as strangers on a Tr date, for example.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Those studi, which were nducted between 2002 and 2020, ntaed a wi range of ag, but the rearchers also wanted to ga particular sight to the datg habs of universy stunts. To this end, they reced 300 llege-aged participants and found that this group was extremely likely to beg a iendship wh their partner prr to datg. On average, they said they had been iends wh their partners for 21.90 months (or almost two whole years) before makg thgs official, fally provg that <em>Booksmart</em> was a documentary.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="wazost"></div></div><p>Intertgly, the vast majory of rponnts across all ag said they didn’t beiend their future partners wh the tentn of takg thgs to the next level. Instead, 70% claimed that their romantic tert was anic, velopg after already beg iends for a time.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Nearly half of rponnts also dited that they felt that the iends-to-lovers pathway was the ial way to meet a romantic partner. Conversely, only 1% of rponnts scribed their ial romantic suatn as meetg at a bar or a club, wh ls than 1% of rponnts exprsg a preference for meetg a partner through onle datg or on a bld date.</p><div class="GenericCalloutWrapper-tojWn iezhXq llout--has-top-borr" data-ttid="GenericCallout"><div class="ContentCardEmbedWrapper-kULtsE iGAJsG ntent-rd-embed ntent-rd-embed--stacked" data-ttid="ContentCardEmbedWrapper"><div class="ContentCardEmbedImage-iwqgVw jlIubp ntent-rd-embed__image" data-ttid="ContentCardEmbedImage"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><img alt="A lbian uple" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/></picture></span></div><div class="ContentCardEmbedInfo-bDftKl bGnSrq"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentCardEmbedHed-kJVPGC iUEiRd gFmvMS cewqFA ntent-rd-embed__hed" data-ttid="ContentCardEmbedHed"><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ContentCardEmbedHedLk-eXLwe iUEiRd gFmvMS hRaEiJ eFUKSb ntent-rd-embed__hed-lk" href="/story/gay-marriage-is-better" data-ttid="ContentCardEmbedHedLk">Gay Coupl Have Ls Straed Marriag Than Straight Coupl, Study Says</a></div><div data-ttid="ContentCardEmbedDek" class="ContentCardEmbedDek-bA-DKch hXdQfY">Heterosexual marriag are more subject to tensn and psychologil distrs.</div></div></div></div><p>Although this may feel like a given, the study thors claim that relatnship scientists have given very ltle attentn to this romantic pathway. Instead, rearchers have historilly prrized studyg the “ial spark” wh a stranger found pictns of romance the vast majory of televisn shows, films, and <em>How to Get Away wh Murr</em> sex scen. The paper claims that this ia is shaped by a “heterosexist” cultural norm, which has led to alternate relatnship formatns beg “stigmatized and margalized.”</p><p>“Acrdg to this script, relatnships start bee sexual attractn prompts men to e bold and direct behavrs to make their tert known to women,” the rearch paper reads, “while women foc on makg themselv attractive and wag for men to ‘make a move.’”</p><p>This discrepancy between what people actually want out of romance and what has been culturally prcribed to has potentially massive implitns for the future of studyg relatnships, as the rearchers put .</p><p>And ’s proof that heterosexism harms everyone, cludg the straights.</p><p><em><strong>Get the bt of what’s queer.</strong></em> <a href=">Sign up for <em>them</em>.'s weekly newsletter here.</a></p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN 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class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">News</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/trans-youth-datg-difficulti-study" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ kBFaWv summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Trans Youth Face Unique Difficulti While Datg, Reveals First-of-Its-Kd Study</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span 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data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="30% of Gay Men Are Open Relatnships, Acrdg to New Study" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">News</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/30-percent-gay-men-open-relatnships-new-study" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ kBFaWv summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">30% of Gay Men Are Open Relatnships, Acrdg to New Study</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Matt Bme</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm hCwuiO ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="km5fmb"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--has-le summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm hCwuiO" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/story/11-ways-to-al-wh-genr-dysphoria-durg-sex" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="11 Ways To Deal Wh Genr Dysphoria Durg Sex" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex And Relatnships</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/11-ways-to-al-wh-genr-dysphoria-durg-sex" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ kBFaWv summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">11 Ways To Deal Wh Genr Dysphoria Durg Sex</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Them</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt TaboolaWidget-eUSdED hQCCRa" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetWrapper"><div class="TaboolaWidgetContent-iBEQTO eXroXG TABOOLA" id="taboola-below-article-thumbnails---f" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetContent"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--footer should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--footer" 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