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Big Gay Pals. The troubl and triumphs of fat gay men. For a group of people bond over a shared stigma, the gay muny do an awful lot of stigmatizg self.
All those maxims about pri and self-acceptance n obscure the fact that the world of gay men is a celly stratified place. Then, at the bottom of the ladr, li the rt—those gays wh too much fat to cut at the top, and not enough furry virily to make the middle.
Behold: the fat gay men. In his lively (and fabuloly tled) Fat Gay Men: Girth, Mirth, and the Polics of Stigma, Jason Whel, a genr studi profsor at Pace Universy, attempts to rcue the guys om the bottom of the homosexual heap, to cidly mixed rults.
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Billed as an ethnographic study, Fat Gay Men is as much a semi-ic romp as is an amic treatise. The fat gay men scribed Fat Gay Men are tired of beg ostracized by their muni—so they ci to ostracize themselv stead.
In an attempt to pe the stigma of rpulence, fat gay men wear as a badge of honor.
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For a group of people bond over a shared stigma, the gay muny do an awful lot of stigmatizg self. All those maxims about pri and... * gay old fat chubby *
Whel’s book foc primarily on Girth and Mirth, a natnwi social club of fat men who hang out wh each other to dodge the strsful expectatns of the larger gay muny. Then the fat gay men go home—and the troubl start aga. At gay pri paras, Girth and Mirthers draw an equal amount of cheers and jeers.
So the fat gay men ghettoize themselv further, stickg to their own clubs and bars, remag largely visible, rdoned off om the gay muny at large.
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Some big men grow bter om their social secln and traduce their more toned brethren; Whel scrib one glum meetg where a Girth and Mirther sourly nmns th gay men as hollow, ke-snortg party animals. For some fat gay men, self-acceptance is a zero-sum game.
Not all fat gay men are rentful of f on, and not all f gay men are nscendg toward fat on. But Whel touch on a real problem: Many gay men put a shockgly high premium on looks. Most pri paras are populated by unbelievably sexy gym bunni skimpy attire; a typil gay bar will feature a md-bogglg number of bulgg biceps and ripplg abs.
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By g out, gay people have already thrown off the shackl of societal expectatns so many ways, fyg genr rol, sex stereotyp, and sexual nformy. So why, after eeg themselv om the nventnal traps, do gay men create a whole new set of strgent standards to hold each other to—standards largely dged om heterosexual society?
In midcentury Ameri, where homosexualy was still nsired a disorr to be treated and cured, psychologists waxed theoretil about gay men’s predilectn toward personal fns. For many alleged profsnals, this clatn was proof that homosexualy was really jt an pecially perverted form of narcissism and that gay men were obssed wh beg betiful bee they were obssed wh, and attracted to, themselv. In the famo 1967 CBS documentary The Homosexuals, Albert Goldman, an English profsor at Columbia Universy, told Gore Vidal that homosexualy was “a more narcissistic, more self-dulgent … more self centered and sentially adolcent liftyle.
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As charted Charl Kaiser’s great The Gay Metropolis, this explanatn eventually morphed to a slightly ls sultg form: The notn that gay men were so shallow that they red only about physil bety.
Although that ncept has also fallen out of mastream view, there remas throughout much of Ameri a belief that gay men are vaer than their straight unterparts, perhaps bee of their ostensibly feme tennci.
The belief is legimized and, ed, celebrated on TV shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy; pop culture often picts gay men’s vany as a feature, not a bug, a charmg rrective to straight men’s slovenls.