By Kev L. Nadal, PhD (Associate Profsor of Psychology, John Jay College of Crimal Jtice - Cy Universy of New York) When I was a ltle kid, I ed to hear my brothers, s, and iends say thgs like “That’s so gay!” on a pretty regular basis. I would ually lgh along, hopg wh all my might…
Contents:
- I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
- CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?
- STOP SAYG “THAT’S SO GAY!”: 6 TYP OF MICROAGGRSNS THAT HARM LGBTQ PEOPLE
- WHAT DO YOU SAY TO ‘THAT’S SO GAY’ & OTHER ANTI-LGBTQ+ COMMENTS?
- HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
- HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
- WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT “THAT’S SO GAY”?
- COULD I STOP BEG GAY?
I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
Homosexualy is not a choice the sense of beg easily reversed. However, rearch on sexual fluidy suggts some gay people n adjt to heterosexual liftyl. * stop being so gay *
It is very homogeneo/ hetero-normative and beg a tholic stutn is not the easit environment for queer stunts. Disregardg all evince that the ex-gay movement is credibly damagg to more than 90% of those who unrgo "treatment" (bee they clearly jt didn't believe God enough), Settg Captiv Free wants you to know that you were not "born this way. " Homosexualy is a s that you need to purge om your system, and the only way to do is to follow their three-parts-a-day the app is only downloadable om Google Play (iTun and the 69, 822+ people who petned them don't believe nversn therapy for some reason), there is an abridged versn available on the mistry’s webse.
But Hont About Your S (But Not TOO Hont): Adm that you have homosexual tennci, but don’t say anythg else about . Stop Callg Your Homosexualy an "Alternative Liftyle": It's "Wicked, " "Evil, " and a "S": The are the only thgs you should ever ll om now on, preferably hhed ton. Even better, feel ee to refer to your homosexualy wh water-based metaphors: It's a "broken cistern" that will never satisfy your thirst.
Change For the Right Reasons (the Glory Of God): After all, homosexualy is nothg but "lt, porn, and sexual immoraly, " ss that are applible only to gay people and never to straight on.
CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?
* stop being so gay *
Always Read Scripture, But Only the Parts We Tell You to: Who knew curg homosexualy uld be so much like dog high school homework? Remove Yourself From Anythg Even Remotely Gay: Don't watch porn (aga, 's only a gay thg), don't go on gay webs, and most of all, certaly don't associate wh gay people. Any of those thgs might make you feel like your homosexualy is a natural part of your inty and n be accepted by those around you.
Realize That Beg Homosexual Mak You Feel Alone Fet that we told you to shut yourself away om most of the world, and ignore the ia that maybe gay people feel so alone bee of the discrimatory and hateful attus that they face, helped by people like . Rencile Wh Those Who Tried to Help You Stop Beg Gay: All those people who lled you "faggot" and told you that you were gog to Hell?
STOP SAYG “THAT’S SO GAY!”: 6 TYP OF MICROAGGRSNS THAT HARM LGBTQ PEOPLE
Homophobia is discrimatn, fear, or hatred of gay (and often bisexual) people. It tak many forms, cludg acts of vlence, feelgs of hate, or gtur of fear. Both dividuals or groups n be homophobic and n create hostile... * stop being so gay *
But if at the end of this 60-day therapy, you still have homosexual tennci, then you didn't really believe and you didn't really want to change. Relig fundamentalists who believe homosexualy is a matter of choice nsir obv that gay people n reverse their cisns. The oppose mp argu that gays are "born that way, " and th that sexual reorientatn therapy is effective, as well as cel and the latter perspective hs closer to the mark, the science of sexualy supports a more measured stance.
There are no verified s of formerly gay people pletely riddg themselv of same-sex attractn, but do appear possible for some people who are predisposed to same-sex attractn to expand their sexual repertoire — velop attractns for oppose-sex partners as well, and even opt for the oppose sex exclively. As Diamond noted January the Archiv of Sexual Behavr, femal' sexual fluidy may emerge om the fdg that, across the board, they are sexually aroed by imag of both men and women (whereas men are typilly aroed only by members of their preferred sex) erotic plasticy may expla why women wh same-sex predisposns report better succs adjtg to heterosexual liftyl than gay men do. "Lastly, gay people aren't really "born that way" the sense of havg same-sex attractns om the moment of birth.
Sexual orientatn cements around puberty, and acrdg to Gelf Rieger, a sexual orientatn rearcher at Cornell Universy, " is que possible that there are several fluenc on formg a homosexual orientatn. But nsirg that very few scientists view homosexualy as a problem needg fixg, will the clil reorientatn therapi ever be veloped? I learned to walk by whout showg any reactn; I uld not let them know that bothered me, or else I would be provg to them that I was ed gay.
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO ‘THAT’S SO GAY’ & OTHER ANTI-LGBTQ+ COMMENTS?
Almost every teacher has heard stunts e the exprsn, “that’s so gay” as a way of puttg down or sultg someone (or to scribe somethg). The lsons will help stunts exame how appropriate language n hurt, and will help them thk of ways to end this kd of name-llg. * stop being so gay *
I didn’t tell anyone about the bullyg (not my parents, teachers, or anyone) bee admtg that I was beg teased for beg gay would mean that I was admtg to beg gay. While I was no longer harassed about my closeted sexual orientatn, I didn’t have any iends that were openly gay and most of my iends didn’t have any eher. While many loved on later told me that they spected that I was gay, no one gave me any reason to believe that they were gay-iendly.
In retrospect, I had a very difficult time acceptg my gay inty, bee of the microaggrsns that I experienced throughout my life. One of the reasons why was important for me to study microaggrsns agast lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer and qutng (LGBTQ) people was bee I knew that this type of discrimatn existed and bee I hypothized that they had a signifint impact on the liv of LGBTQ people, particularly on their mental health and inty velopment.
HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
For me, is anytime someone says “That’s so gay” and “No homo” my prence; for my transgenr iends, uld be anytime someone says “tranny”, “she-male”, or other rogatory terms.
Maybe this is why 9 out of 10 LGBTQ high school stunts report experiencg harassment at school and why 2/3 of them say they feel unsafe (Gay, Lbian, and Straight Edutn Network, 2010).
HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
For stance, sometim, people tell me I’m not “a typil gay guy” bee of some stereotype I don’t fulfill; other tim, people assume that I would tomatilly get along wh another gay guy simply bee we are attracted to the same genr.
In the media, an example clus one time when Paris Hilton said that gay men are “disgtg” and “probably have AIDS” or recently when The Bachelor said that gay people were “more ‘pervert’ a sense. Anytime that any straight man assum that I would h on them, not only are they mistakenly flatterg themselv, they are munitg that they thk that all gay men n’t keep their hands to themselv. Kev Nadal is an Associate Profsor of Psychology at John Jay College of Crimal Jtice – Cy Universy of New York, the Vice Print of the Asian Amerin Psychologil Associatn, and the thor of “That’s So Gay!
The 2009 Natnal School Climate Survey: The Experienc of Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr Youth our Natn’s Schools.
WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT “THAT’S SO GAY”?
(2010) Sexual orientatn and transgenr microaggrsns everyday life: Experienc of lbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenr dividuals. It don’t matter if ’s a first grar who might not know what the word “gay” means, a sixth grar tryg to sound ol, or a tenth grar “teasg” a iend. “You may not have meant to be hurtful, but when you e the word ‘gay’ to mean somethg is bad or stupid, is hurtful.
“Even if you didn’t mean to offend people who are gay, is offensive to ll this assignment gay (or queer); if you don’t like somethg, then say you don’t like ! If you have been hearg the phrase “That’s gay” or “no homo, ” take time durg class to make sure that your stunts know what “gay” means and know why is hurtful to e as a ment or put-down. Be clear that g the phrase “That’s gay” is hurtful to other stunts who may have fay members or iends who are LGBTQ.
For the youngt stunts, keep simple – for example, “the word gay scrib a man and a man or a woman and a woman who love each other. ” Many people, cludg sex rearchers and scientists, believe that sexual orientatn is like a sle wh entirely gay on one end and entirely straight on the other.
COULD I STOP BEG GAY?
Sexual inty is how you label yourself (for example, g labels such as queer, gay, lbian, straight, or bisexual). " If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet? Acceptance n make a huge different the liv of LGBTQIA (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual) people.
Article SummaryXIt might e as a b of a shock to fd out your bt iend is gay, but by supportg them and givg yourself time to get ed to , your iendship n be jt like was. It probably took a lot of urage for your iend to e out as gay, so tell them that you accept them for who they are to be a good iend.
Before we go too far, let’s get on the rerd that some our society don’t thk gay, transgenr or genr-ntral people should have the same basic civil and human rights as everyone else.