My First Queer Kiss Didn't Really Tell Me Whether or Not I Was Gay</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="My First Queer Kiss Didn't Really Tell Me Whether or Not I Was Gay" /><meta name="scriptn" ntent="An excerpt om Katie Heaney's new LGBTQ memoir. " /><meta name="keywords" ntent="lgbtq, girls kiss, first queer kiss, first kiss, first lgbtq kiss, g out, lbian, how to e out, katie heaney, would you rather, katie heaney book" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="webse" /><meta name="theme-lor" ntent="#000000" /><lk href="/_assets/sign-tokens/seventeen/static/imag/" rel="in" /><meta property="og:se_name" ntent="Seventeen" /><meta name="fb:app_id" ntent="112965278727107" property="fb:app_id" /><meta name="article:publisher" ntent=" property="article:publisher" /><meta name="fb:pag" ntent="8028997215" property="fb:pag" /><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@seventeen" /><meta name="google-se-verifitn" ntent="uQMdsrh02fvs6lNVGcB04v0iEtK1MpGMQ3UF-Fy0RVI" /><meta property="og:tle" ntent="My First Queer Kiss Didn't Really Tell Me Whether or Not I Was Gay" /><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="An excerpt om Katie Heaney's new LGBTQ memoir, Would You Rather?" /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/seventeen/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="timely" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Love" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2021-09-20T22:10:33Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2018-03-27T14:57:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="First kiss n be such a mixed bag. 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Tell Me Whether or Not I Was Gay</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="3" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css 1rvucsk">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.25rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-1rvucsk exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>My First Queer Kiss Didn't Really Tell Me Whether or Not I Was Gay<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 1fyfv5q">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.375rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-1fyfv5q exadjwu8"><p>An excerpt om Katie Heaney's new LGBTQ memoir, <em>Would You Rather?</em></p></div><style data-emotn="css 7lmlrx">{marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-7lmlrx exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css rkt8">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><addrs class="css-rkt8 ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css q8brce">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-q8brce ehvvd9m1">By Katie Heaney</span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Published: Mar 27, 2018</time></addrs></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc((100vw - (lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 2 * 1rem)) / -2);}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 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61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0"><em>First kiss n be such a mixed bag. They n be totally epic and sweet, or super awkward. First kiss n be md-blowg AF or totally anticlimactic. But one thg is for sure: No matter what kd of first kiss experience you have, always mak for an tertg story. Enter Katie Heaney, thor of </em><style data-emotn="css lec2h6">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;background-image:lear-gradient( to bottom, rgba(241, 220, 225, 1), rgba(241, 220, 225, 1));-webk-background-posn:0 100%;background-posn:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webk-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;paddg-top:0.05rem;paddg-bottom:0.05rem;}{lor:#000000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;-webk-background-size:.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:.625rem 3.125rem;}</style><a href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Would You Rather?" data-vars-ga-product-id="d3160188-d5-40dc-9a4f-aaa65f26f678" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"10638217-1daf-420e-8b-731d5d0c37dd","se_id":"aaf0f31b-756b-48fc-99fb-dc5085da9dc7","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-price="$0.00" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="f7711039-a98f-4796-98dd-224b2109045f" class="body-lk product-lks css-lec2h6 ebsw2pb0">Would You Rather?</a><em> In her book, Heaney explor the topic of g out as LGBTQ+ her twenti. From her first kiss to her first relatnship wh a woman, she walks through what life looks like as a queer person NYC. Here's an excerpt...</em><br /></p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">The first girl I ever nscly had a csh on sat across the lecture hall om me a class that might as well have been lled Deprsg Facts About Our Polil System 101. I was my send year of graduate school at the Universy of Mnota, most of which was an extremely expensive blur. I was twenty-five. I don’t rell her name, although I know at some pot I figured out by procs of elimatn, cross-referencg the class list agast Facebook. It feels like might have been Taylor. If not, she would have ma a good one. </p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Taylor me to school that fall wh goln sk and a haircut that to me suggted there was at least a possibily she’d brought a picture of Tegan and Sara to the salon—long swoopg bang ont, chopped short everywhere else. Dark blond, almost the exact lor of her sk. I know seems crazy, but she was the first person I’d really looked at and thought, <em>Huh. That girl might be gay.</em></p><div data-no-id="3" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css upp71m">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:th solid #CDCDCD;}</style><div class="css-upp71m e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1ocka91">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0.625rem;}</style><div class="css-1ocka91 e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css g8jkq0">{marg:0rem;font-weight:bold;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.05rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-g8jkq0 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Seventeen</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css 19idlm5">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;lor:#000000;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:bold;-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;marg:0rem;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.625rem;m-height:2.4rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:1rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><h6 class="css-19idlm5 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

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